TJ's POV
I woke up to the smell of bacon wafting through my senses, and I'd almost forgotten where I was until I opened my eyes to see that Harry wasn't next to me. I'd become so accustomed to waking up next to him that it was now strange when he wasn't there.
We'd been back for two days, and there still hadn't been any news on my brother. Harry had done his best to keep me busy, to keep me from driving myself crazy, but I hadn't been able to get more than a few hours of sleep at a time. I kept dreaming that Louis was gone, and I'd wake up in a cold sweat until Harry could calm me down and lull me back to sleep.
I stretched as I got out of bed, yawning as I checked the time to see it was almost 11am and it occurred to me I hadn't heard my phone go off in the middle of the night.
"Shit, Louis!" I said worriedly as a searched around the room for my phone, not finding it anywhere.
I practically tore every inch of that room apart, before I frantically raced down the stairs praying Harry would know where it was. The idea of my phone not being close to me and possibly missing a call about Louis sent me into a panic.
"Harry! Harry have you seen my-" I stopped when I entered the kitchen to see him standing at the stove in his boxers, my phone on the counter. "...phone."
"Sorry, I thought you should rest. I was gonna wake you up if there was any news." He said apologetically when he saw how worried I was as I picked it up off the counter.
"So there's still nothing?" I asked, my heart sinking as I unlocked it to see there was nothing.
"Not yet." He sighed. "But you know what? I've got a good feeling about today. I think today's the day."
"Let's hope." I said, noting the optimistic look on his face.
I knew how worried Harry was about Louis, and he'd done his best to hide it from me. I'd catch him staring off into space every once in a while, lost in his own thoughts before he'd distract himself by asking me if I needed anything, and I knew that every time his mind wandered it went to the same place mine did. Part of me felt guilty that he didn't feel he could express his worry to me, and I think I'd been so caught up in the busyness of life that I hadn't really thought about just how close they'd all grown over the few short months Harry had been there.
Louis really was Harry's first friend in America, and he'd been a big part of Harry's integration into the team. As much as he denied it, I knew Louis had suggested Harry take his old room, and he'd helped him move in and get settled into the dorm. I knew Louis always appreciated Harry's diplomacy and often turned to him for advice regarding the team, and I knew the two of them had a special kind of friendship where they were able to have fun together but also lean on each other when needed. It would have been just as difficult for Louis if Harry was the one in his situation, and I'd been making a conscious effort to remain aware that Harry was going through it too.
Harry's phone rang on the counter with a face time call, and I saw the hesitation on his face as to whether or not he should answer it. He looked over at me and I rolled my eyes at him, motioning for him to answer, before he swiped the screen and did his best to hide the smile that wanted to take over his face.
"Hey, Mum." He said, trying not to sound overly excited.
He had that same awkward look he'd had for the past two days whenever his family called, not wanting to seem too excited to talk to them, trying to avoid rubbing in the fact that he had a loving family while mine had turned to complete shit. I felt bad that he felt guilty for it, so I decided to help ease his apprehension.
"Hi, Mrs. Styles." I called out from across the counter, and Harry shifted the camera to face me.
"TJ! How are you, love?"
"I've been better." I laughed lightly. "How are you?"
"We're all just fine over here. I'm so sorry about your brother, has there been any news?"
"Not yet, but Harry and I have a good feeling about today. I think he's gonna wake up soon." I said as positively as I could.
"I have no doubt." She smiled softly. "We send our love, we are here if you need anything."
"Thank you, I appreciate that." I smiled.
I looked over at Harry as he chopped up some fruit, an unsure look on his face as I knew he was hoping his mother didn't upset me. She'd called the day after we got back asking how thanksgiving was going with my parents, and he'd kind of been forced to tell her what happened when she'd asked to speak to my mother to thank her for having him. Of course, he left out the details of how my mother basically told me she never wanted me and threated to have me arrested, but she knew about Louis and had been calling every day to check in.
There was some noise in the background as Lulu came barrelling into the room, her mother laughing as she asked if 'Hazzy' was on the phone, before she handed it to her and her little face appeared on the screen.
"Hi, TJ!" She said excitedly. "Is it morning time there?"
"It is, your brother is just making me breakfast." I smiled as I turned the camera to face him.
"Hi, Hazzy!" She giggled.
"Hi, Lulu." He smiled as he wiped his hands off and took the phone from me. "You staying out of trouble?"
"I just had a bath, and now me and dad are gonna watch Moana!"
"Lucky dad." He laughed.
"He doesn't sing the songs as good as you though." She sighed. "I miss you, big brother."
"I miss you too, baby sister."
Harry chatted to Lulu and his parents as he finished up breakfast and I texted back and forth with Rich and Dan, getting the update on what had gone on since I was asleep, which wasn't much. I'd been texting with all of the boys since they left, Niall sending me random pictures of him at the beach at home in California, Liam sending me pictures of everything he ate in Hawaii, and Shawn constantly telling me how annoyed he was with the Seattle rain. I wasn't sure if I should tell them about Louis, it wasn't like there was anything they could do and I didn't wanna ruin their holidays so I'd decided they'd find out soon enough. I had to admit it was nice to just talk to them like things were normal, and it was a welcome escape from the constant worrying and hovering Harry and my brothers seemed to be doing.
"Anyways, Mum. I have to go grocery shopping for dinner tonight so I need that list, and I know it's late there so are you still okay to get up early to help me?" Harry asked, nervously biting his bottom lip that was somehow more adorable than he meant it to be.
"Of course, darling." His mother smiled with a light laugh. "I am actually very eager to see how you pull it off, maybe you can cook Christmas dinner when you come home and give me a break."
"Let's make sure I don't burn down Uncle Mike's first." Harry laughed. "But I think you've taught me well, I'm a pretty good cook I think."
"I can second that." I smiled as I hopped off my stool and went to stand beside him. "He's made me quite a few meals and I haven't died yet."
"Well thank goodness for that." She smiled. "Okay, love. Do you have a pen? I've made you a list."
"Yeah, hold on. One sec." Harry said as he started opening random drawers looking for a pen.
"I'm gonna go have a shower. I'll talk to you later when you help us cook, Mrs. Styles!" I smiled as I waved to her, blowing her a kiss before I took off up the stairs as Harry started writing down her list of ingredients.
I smiled to myself as I thought of how much she seemed to dote on him, constantly worrying if he'd been eating or sleeping enough, that slight worry in her voice always present at the thought of her baby boy being so far from home. I can't say I could have pictured Harry as the kind of guy that was particularly a mama's boy per se, but they obviously had a very close bond and it warmed my heart to see it.
It was a nice reminder that different kinds of families existed, another reminder that there was something inherently wrong with mine, that it wasn't just the way things had to be. It just reaffirmed to me that things were the way they were because my mother chose for them to be that way, and that if I wanted to maybe someday I could create something better for my own kids.
I let the water stream down onto my head and cascade down my body as I stepped into the shower, letting the warmth of it soothe me as I closed my eyes and let the water hit my face. I took a deep breath as I tried to remind myself to take a minute to just relax, to slow my mind, and tell myself that everything was gonna be okay.
Every day I'd been trying to take a few minutes alone to just focus myself, have a little pep talk to stay positive, and remind myself that I couldn't control it all. Whatever was meant to happen would happen, and as hard as it was, I just had to remind myself that I would survive whatever it was.
My soothing, mind-clearing moment was interrupted by a loud banging on the door of the bathroom, causing me to jump and drop the bottle of body wash in my hand.
"Teej! Teej get out here!" Harry said hurriedly as he continued to pound on the door, even trying the doorknob which I was suddenly thankful I locked.
"I'm in the shower!" I yelled back as I tried to at least somewhat rinse the soap off myself, but the urgency to which he was banging on the door told me that he wasn't about to wait until I got out.
My hands were shaking as I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around myself, panic rushing through me as I almost slipped stepping out of the shower and my wet foot slid on the tile.
"Get out of there! Hurry up, open the door!" Harry continued to yell before I flung the door open, sopping wet as I looked at him with wide eyes.
"Harry, what the fuck is-" I started before he threw his arms around me and lifted me up, spinning me around so fast that the water from my dripping wet hair left droplets on the walls of the upstairs hallway.
I had barely had time to process that he seemed to be excited before he put me down, grinning down at me with the biggest smile I'd ever seen, and the panic I felt seemed to shift into something else. My heart was still racing as I looked up at him and waited for him to say whatever it was he thought was so urgent.
"You're kinda cute when you're all wet." He laughed.
"I swear to god if you pulled me out of the shower as part of some sick joke I'm-"
I was interrupted by the sound of my phone ringing in Harry's hand, and his smile seemed to grow bigger as he held it up to my face to see it was a facetime call from Rich. I had no idea why he would be face timing me, but Harry seemed to know more than I did, and I think that's when it clicked.
There was news on Louis.
"Oh my god, is it Louis? Is he okay?!" I asked quickly, grabbing at my phone. "Answer it, you idiot!"
Harry laughed and threw his arm around me as he held the phone up in front of us and swiped the call to answer it, tears already starting to leak from my eyes at the possibility that my brother was alright. Harry had obviously spoken to someone before he came to get me, and I knew he wouldn't have been grinning like that if it was bad.
The screen was blank for a few seconds as we waited anxiously for it to connect, before the most amazing sight I'd ever seen appeared in front of me and my legs gave out beneath me. I crumpled to the floor as my emotions overtook me, and Harry just chuckled to himself.
"Oh shit, where'd she go?" I heard Dan laugh as Harry sat down beside me on the floor, handing me the phone and kissing my head as I started to sob.
I did my best to compose myself as I gripped the phone in my hand, all three of my brothers staring back at me with smiles on their faces. I was overcome with joy and relief at the same time, feelings coursing through me so quickly that it was as if they had to escape from my eyes before my body exploded.
"Hi, little sister." Louis said, a lazy smile crossing his face.
A light laugh of relief escaped me at the familiar greeting, my emotions at an all time high, yet somehow I felt calm for the first time in days.
"We're the same age, dummy." I sniffled.
"Yeah, yeah." He smirked before his expression shifted to sympathy. "Please don't cry, there is literally not a single thing on earth I hate more."
"Are you okay? How do you feel? Is there-" I started, all of the questions I had just spewing out of my mouth before he stopped me.
"I'm alright, Teej." He sighed, the weight of it all heavy in his voice. "I mean, I've been better, but I'll live."
"But you're gonna be alright? Did they say-"
"He's out of the woods, doctor said he can go home in a couple weeks." Dan nodded, answering my question before I could ramble.
"Oh, thank god." I sighed, throwing my head back against the wall as tears continued to stream down my face. "We were so worried, we've been driving ourselves crazy, I thought I'd never get to talk to you again, I thought-"
"I'm not going anywhere." Lou interrupted me. "You think you're getting rid of me that easy? I literally was placed on this earth to annoy you."
It was obvious that his body was weak as a lazy smile crossed his face, the effects of what he'd been through obviously taking their toll on his energy levels. While he wasn't quite the ball of energy I was used to, it was nice to see that he hadn't lost his sense of humor.
"I never thought I'd be so thankful to be annoyed." I laughed lightly. "I love you, Lou. So much, I...I feel like I don't say that enough, and I'm so sorry I'm not there. I should be there, I-"
"Teej, I know." He stopped me. "You wouldn't put up with all my shit if you didn't love me. You're the best sister a guy could ever ask for, and I'm sorry I don't make it easy. And as far as you not being here...I took care of it and I don't want you to worry about it or feel guilty."
"What do you mean you took care of it?" I asked, the words catching in my throat as to what that could mean, immediately being annoyed with Dan and Rich for telling him what had happened when he needed to rest.
"Nobody had to tell me, Teej." He sighed, reading my mind. "I knew the second I woke up and you weren't here...I know there's no way you wouldn't be here by my side, I know you'd never leave me like this. I knew it was her."
"I'm so sorry, Louis. I should have stayed anyway." I apologized.
"No, you did the right thing. I don't want you to stay anywhere where you're treated like that, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry for all the years that I just brushed it off, that I just chalked it up to mom being mom. It's not right, it never has been, and I'm sorry. We all are."
"I don't need anyone to be sorry, I just want you to be okay." I sniffled, appreciating their support but just wanting to forget about it all together.
"I'm alright. I'm trying not to think about what this means for my future, but that's not important right now. What's important is that I kicked mom out of here, and I promise you that you're never gonna have to deal with her shit again."
"Wait...you-you kicked mom out of the hospital?" I asked, completely shocked.
"Yep." He nodded confidently. "I did exactly what she did to you. I'm an adult, I decide who's on my list. I took her off, and told her if she showed up she'd be arrested for trespassing."
"You shoulda seen her face." Rich laughed. "Fucking priceless."
"Lou, she's still your mother, she-"
"No. Do not defend her." He said sternly. "Don't say she loves us, because if she did she would never treat our sister like that."
His annoyance was clear as he gritted his teeth, the very thought of the way our mother had acted making the anger obvious in his features.
"He's right. No matter what our relationship is with her, or how well she treats us, it doesn't change the fact that what she does to you is horrible. You're our sister and we love you, and disrespecting you is disrespecting all of us." Dan added.
"But you don't have to do that, you don't have to give up your relationship with her because of me. I'm okay with it, I understand. I'm not trying to divide everyone." I explained. "I don't want you guys to lose your family because of me."
"Teej, you are our family." Rich sighed. "Let's be honest, you're more our family than she's ever been. It's always been the four of us, mom and dad were just...there."
He was right. Ever since I was about 12, it had always been the four of us. The early years when my dad was home more had been a lot more family oriented, but once his company took off and my mother became obsessed with all things material, the four of us had pretty much been left to be our own little family. It was sad to think that that's what we'd become, but it was the truth.
"And even if they had been more than that, what she's done is unforgivable. You're not making us to anything, it's our choice, and we've chosen not to speak to her until she gets some serious fucking help." Dan said.
"Even then, I don't think I'll ever forgive her for this." Louis sighed. "For all of it."
A silence fell over us as the guilt settled in the pit of my stomach, hating that there seemed to be such a rift now because of me. I got what they were saying, because I would have done the same if she'd treated them that way, but I'd never been close to her the way they were. I wanted my brothers to be happy, and I knew that no matter how angry they were at her none of them would relish in the idea of cutting her out of their lives.
I also knew my mother wasn't about to just let that happen.
"Anyways..." Harry cut in. "We can talk about all that later. We're just so glad you're okay, mate. I've been worried sick about you."
"Thanks, bro." Lou smiled. "And thanks for taking care of Teej. We all know what a pain in the ass she can be."
"Yeah, yeah." I rolled my eyes at him. "Anyways, should we come up then? Now that I'm allowed?"
"Well I think they're gonna keep me for a couple weeks or so, try to sort out physio and stuff, there's a bunch of shit they have to do apparently. I don't know what this means for my scholarship, so I have to see what that means about getting back to school and stuff, so I think I'll probably be tied up here for the next little bit anyway." Louis sighed.
"So...you don't want us to come?" I asked, a little surprised.
"It's not that I don't want you to." He said quickly. "I just know it's been a rough week, and there's not much you can do for me here. I want you to just take some time for yourself before school starts back up and all the madness kicks in. I have to sort our what's going on with everything, and I'll stay in touch. You'd have to be back in a couple days anyway."
"But I wanna see you...even if it's just for a few minutes." I said worriedly.
"You can see me right now." He rolled his eyes. "Besides, word on the street is that Styles is about to make a sick thanksgiving dinner...and we both know I wouldn't give up a feast to come see you if the situation was reversed."
We all laughed out loud, knowing my brother's love for food often came before anything else and the ridiculousness of the joke itself, and I looked up at Harry who just shrugged.
"Whatever you wanna do, I'm down." He said.
I sighed as I looked back at my brothers, knowing there was probably a good chance that my mother might show up again, and feeling like Louis really did just want some time to recover and sort everything out. I knew the reality of what this would mean for his hockey career would be weighing heavily on his mind, and as much as I wanted to be there for him I knew he probably just wanted some time to process it all for himself.
"Are you sure?" I asked slowly.
"Positive." He nodded. "Go out, do something fun. Eat your faces off. You both deserve a little break."
"You promise you'll call me multiple times a day, keep me updated?"
"I swear."
I took one last look at Harry, almost as if looking for him to reassure me that not going was the right thing to do, and he just leaned forward and kissed my forehead.
"He's alright, Teej. Let him do his thing." He said softly.
"Okay." I sighed. "But I am coming up there as soon as you sort everything out."
"Deal." He smiled. "I'm pretty tired, so I'm gonna try to get some more sleep. Love you."
"Love you too, Lou. I'm so glad you're okay." I smiled.
We said goodbye and hung up the phone, and the second I looked at Harry I burst into tears again. He immediately pulled me into him, kissing my head and rocking me back and forth as I relief overcame me.
"He's gonna be okay, babe." He said as he rubbed my back, doing his best to just let me get it out.
"I-I thought I was never gonna speak to him again. I thought we were gonna lose him, I was so scared." I sniffled, pulling away to look at him as he wiped my cheeks with his thumbs.
"There's nothing to be scared of. Everything is gonna be alright, it'll all work out."
"I know." I nodded, wiping at my face as I tried to get it together. "I'm just...I'm so relieved."
"Me too." He smiled.
We sat in silence for a few minutes, just leaning against the wall in the upstairs hallway as we let it all sink in, before I shivered and remembered I was still sopping wet and in a towel. Harry chuckled to himself as he noticed and stood up, reaching down to help me up.
"Now, we've got a feast to cook and some serious celebrating to do." He smiled. "So get your cute little ass back in the shower and put some clothes on, cause we're goin shopping."