They can never know, they should never know. They'll ridicule me, throw me into the naked eye of the public. It's bad enough my sister knows about my bulimia. It's even worse that its almost summer break and Ollie is coming home.
Ollie, my older brother, is a god in nutrition and most likely has a degree in my fitness pal. When he sees how fat I've gotten and how much junk food I have consumed I'm fucking dead. He will throw out all my new clothes and cigarettes. He will replace my usual snap chat time with study time. He will make me go to the gym and eat fucking soup all week. God puking up soup is a nightmare and spicy foods make my ass burn. I realise that all of this is just me rambling to myself, recording it through voice to text, but goddamn have you ever had spicy soup go up your nose? Its fucking horrendous.
Either way, I failed math and at this point, I can't even care. I mean yesterday I had a massive breakdown about it, binged on ice cream, biscuits and chocolate and spend almost an hour throwing it up. Man, I'm lucky that I stay up past midnight when everyone's asleep. As soon as I managed to stop myself, the guilt kicked in and I could only focus on getting it out. Out. Out. I don't feel comfortable going into details but if you've seen texas chainsaw massacre. My toilet looked worse than that.
Then I took ten lax pills and went to bed with an aching stomach, burning throat and strong ass will to die.
Anna might have heard me though, she keeps giving me silly stares and glaring at me. I have to go, class starts in 10.
Oh almost forgot
This is video entry 2
the date is 31st of may
It's a thursday
Love yall