Ever since the day we had both basically confessed our feelings for one another, Y/N had gone back to her quiet days where she would barely mutter a word to me. I tried to go back to treating what I had come here for in the first place but it was like she just didn't want to cooperate any longer. She began to blackout more often, but I was both glad and disappointed in a way when she wouldn't go after me. Now her blackout episodes consisted of trying to put a hole in the wall with her fists.
It was almost time for her to go back to live at the facility but I honestly didn't want her to. I wanted her to stay with me. It was selfish to think of but it was what I had wanted. I knew I would be able to still be around her when I was working at the facility but it wasn't ever going to be the same again. I had to start at square one again, and that wasn't something I was looking forward to since we had actually made some sort of process before all of this happened. I still didn't know where we stood regarding her parents but so far nothing had happened since the first incident, and it was actually making me quiet anxious. I was expecting them to do something any day now.
To bring me out of my confusing thoughts, my phone vibrated in my hand which effectively startled me. I looked down to see that Ally had sent me a message, claiming that she wanted Y/N back at the facility before dark. It was almost five o'clock in the afternoon, so the sun would be setting in about an hour or two. I sighed to myself and stood up from my bed, heading into the living room where I knew Y/N was. When I made it, the taller girl was sitting on the couch while looking down at her lap where she was fiddling with her fingers. "Ally said she would like you back at the facility within the next two hours or so. Do you want to leave now or wait?" I asked quietly, hoping she would opt to stay for a while so maybe I could talk to her more.
"I would like to go now." Y/N spoke quieter than I had, making it hard to hear what she was saying. Of course she wanted to leave, why would she want to stay? I basically crushed her dreams and now I was forcing her to stay in a place she didn't want to be in. I sighed to myself again and sadly nodded my head, going to grab my keys before I slipped on some shoes. By the time I reemerged into the living room, Y/N was already waiting with a couple bags full of the clothes I had gotten her. I tried to help the taller girl with her bags but she quickly grabbed all of them before I could even touch one.
My heart clenched at the action but I tried not to let it affect me. I cleared my throat and lead Y/N out of the apartment to the car where she insisted on putting her bags away by herself in the back seat. I stayed quiet, allowing her to do so as I slid into the driver's seat. When she came to situate herself in the passenger's seat, I started the car and took off towards the facility. I didn't even try to make any conversation because I knew Y/N wouldn't fall for it. The drive seemed much longer than it originally was and eventually when we had arrived, Y/N got out to get her belongings once again. I sighed for what seemed like the hundredth time before getting out and meeting the taller girl by the entrance. As we walked inside, the new receptionist looked up and offered a small smile. "Hello Camila, this is my patient, Y/N. Y/N, this is Camila." I introduced the two.
"Hello, Y/N. How are you?" Camila asked after a moment of awkward silence. Her question came out almost slow, like she didn't know how to approach the subject. I looked up at the taller girl to see her with an eyebrow raised. There was a touch of incredulousness in her look but I couldn't understand why. After another beat, the younger girl responded to the receptionist in a way I wouldn't have expected.
"I'm not retarded, you don't have to talk to me like I don't understand you." Y/N responded and my eyes widened in surprise. I couldn't believe she would say something like that to someone she didn't even know. In a way though, I could understand where she was coming from. All her life she's had to deal with people treating her like she wasn't a person. She was treated like a disease, or something to stay away from, to be scared of. I could tell even Camila was taken aback by Y/N's words, as she lowered her head while muttering an apology.
"I'm sorry Y/N, I didn't mean to disrespect you. I was just trying to see how your day was going." The petite brunette had raised her head back when it seemed like she gained her confidence back. Y/N nodded her head while still seeming like she was regarding the situation carefully. She looked down at me for a second before looking towards Camila again once she spoke up.
"It could be better." Y/N answered vaguely and I knew she was talking about me. It was clear to see that Camila still didn't know how to respond to the taller girl so instead of verbally answering, she awkwardly nodded her head in understanding. Then all of the sudden Y/N started walking towards the elevator so she could start heading up towards her room. Camila and I watched before I realized I had to follow the taller girl. I quickly apologized to Camila for Y/N's attitude before I went and followed Y/N before she could slip away. The elevator ride was quiet and awkward just like everything else thus far.
By the time the two of us entered Y/N's old room, I closed the door behind us before crossing my arms over my chest. "Y/N, I don't know what your problem is but it's not okay to treat someone the way you did when they're only trying to be nice to you." I spoke up for what seemed like the first time in a long while. Y/N stopped trying to situate her things and stood with her back to me. A couple seconds passed by before she slightly turned her head so that I could see her side profile. Her body never fully turned to face me but I could tell I hit a nerve deep inside of her. Even I knew I should've come about it a different way but I couldn't change anything now, and I wanted to get to the bottom of why she was acting like this lately. I knew it wasn't her.
"Maybe I wouldn't act like this if you didn't give me a reason to." Y/N's voice came out low and raspy. I would be lying if it didn't turn me on in a way, but I could tell that this wasn't going to be good for me. It wasn't her normal voice, and I almost wondered if she was going to blackout but no part of her was shaking like it normally does. I uncrossed my arms from my chest and took a tentative step forward.
"Y/N I know you're upset about the other day but I can't say anything other than I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything to compromise the progress we had already had but please, please don't take it out on others. I'm the one you need to be mad at okay? As much as I don't want you to, I'm the only one you can be mad at in this situation. I can't help that it's the law and that we could both get into a shit ton of trouble for it, okay? No matter how much either of us want this, it can't happen. I can't do it." I spoke sincerely. Y/N started laughing humorlessly; a low, dark chuckle that could scare anyone that didn't know her like I did. I should have been shaking in my spot or running for the hills by now, but something was keeping me rooted in my spot.
"See that's the problem Lauren. You can, you just choose not to. You're perfectly capable of handling yourself as an individual that can do whatever she wants, but you're too scared to do anything other than what you're supposed to. This world would be nothing if there weren't people challenging the system others have created. No matter how much you think you want this, you obviously don't want it enough and that tells me plenty. See, I don't give a fuck about anything anymore. I'm going to die anyways; if they choose to kill me then that's fine. At least I'd know I didn't live by other people's rules. If loving you would be the last straw of my life, I'd still make the same decision every time. Without a doubt in my mind, you're the only person I've ever wanted and look where it's landed me: back in this shit-hole knowing what you truly felt." Y/N shook her head to herself with a scoff before she lowered it to fiddle with her belongings.
"That's not true at all. If I didn't feel anything for you then I wouldn't have lied to you about it. From the moment I met you, my feelings for you only grew. Don't act like you know what I feel because you don't. I didn't act on my feelings because I didn't want to overwhelm you with everything else that was going on. You were the only thing on my mind, I don't care about what happens to anyone else. I couldn't care less about losing my job, but I couldn't bear losing you. That's why I was so beat up when I thought you went missing, remember? There's a lot more that goes into this that you don't understand yet."
"No I think you're the one that doesn't understand, Lauren." The taller girl finally turned her body to face me, taking a step forwards. "You may think you have feelings for me and as much as I want that to be true, you don't know the half of it yet. I get off when people are terrified of me. I find it thrilling to have others look at me like I'm crazy because at this point, I am! I can accept that now after so many years of my life. I can't change what or who I am, and I don't want to. You don't have to say you return the feelings I have for you just to make me feel better. You don't have to come up with excuses as to why you don't want a romantic relationship with me. You don't even have to stay here. So please, if you could just let me sort everything out for a while and try to throw away the feelings I have for you." The look on her face was completely pained.
"I don't want you to throw away your feelings for me. I wasn't lying to you or trying to come up with an excuse. Everything I said was true whether you believe me or not." I took another step forward until the two of us were practically face to face. I hesitantly reached up to place my palm on Y/N's cheek and I was glad to see that she didn't pull away from my touch. Instead, the younger girl leaned into my hand while her eyelids fluttered closed for a split second. I used my opposite hand to pull her head down a bit, so that I could rest my forehead on hers.
"What are you doing?" Y/N asked quietly between us. Her voice came out more apprehensive than before, and I could tell it was more of her than the other voice. The taller girl's eyes stayed closed this time as she tried to keep herself calm. I could see her hand start to twitch lightly but it wasn't anything I was afraid of just yet. I reached down to intertwine our fingers and the twitching instantly stopped, bringing a small smile onto my face.
"If you really want this like you say you do, then I'm willing to take a chance." I whispered. Y/N opened her eyes to peer into my own. I could tell she was trying to look for any signs of untruthfulness but she wouldn't be able to find any. She visibly gulped and I slightly pulled back so my forehead was no longer on hers. "I just want you to tell me if something is wrong, or if you're ever uncomfortable, okay? I will go along with this based off of you, so I want you to speak your mind and I will never judge you, with anything." Y/N nodded her head. I tried to offer her a reassuring smile but the younger girl still seemed anxious in her spot.
"I really want to kiss you right now." She blurted out. My smile only widened at her words and my reaction seemed to finally allow her to relax somewhat. Her body wasn't as stiff, and there were no more signs of any anxiousness or nervousness. Her arms wrapped around my waist and I practically melted against her taller frame. I threaded my fingers in her hair on the back of her head where my hand had been resting this whole time. I could feel my heart beating out of my chest at this point, and I was hoping to god that Y/N would make the first move so that I didn't have to anticipate the feeling of her lips on my own anymore. I had been craving this moment ever since I had met the Y/E/C eyed girl.
"Then do it." I whispered again between the two of us. Y/N seemed surprised by my answer but she wasted no time in leaning down to capture my lips with her own. I leaned up on my tippy toes to try to get a better angle as I pushed myself further into Y/N's body. I had to control the moan that so desperately wanted to be released at the contact and everything in me felt alive. A could hear my heartbeat through my ears, and there was a swarm of pressure flitting around my stomach that seemed to only keep moving. The pressure swirled around until it settled deep between my legs, straight to my core where everything seemed to travel to. My body felt like it was on fire with simple touches from the younger girl who still seemed unsure of herself in where to go next.
I tilted my head slightly to the right to deepen the kiss and Y/N followed suit. I allowed her to accustom herself to the foreign feeling until it seemed like she was beginning to get the hang of it all. She pulled me closer into her body until I was flushed against her muscular frame. The moan that was begging to be released ever since we first started finally slipped past my lips on its own accord. Y/N disconnected our lips for a split second to catch her breath before she returned another kiss at a much more passionate level. I had to take a step back due to the force but eventually I kissed back with just as much emotion and want. By now I was painfully throbbing below my waistline and I craved for a release.
Y/N kept walking me backwards, slowly until my back reached the wall behind us. I was stuck between the wall and Y/N's body but I didn't mind one bit. With the way the taller girl was standing in front of me, pushing me against the wall, she was unknowingly applying pressure to where I needed her most and that released another moan from my lips. I tried to push back to create more friction but I squealed in surprise when the younger girl leaned down to grasp the back of my thighs only to pin me against the wall where my legs now wrapped around her waist. One of her hands rested on the wall next to my head whereas the other rested below my thigh to keep me up. Even if her hand wasn't there, I'd still remain in my spot with how tightly she had me pressed against the wall behind me.
A small groan fell from Y/N's mouth and I could've came right on the spot at the sound. I had to pull away again for air but Y/N wouldn't allow me to rest for too long before she took it upon herself to initiate another passionate kiss. Both of her hands moved to grip my waist tightly. My head was spinning so fast I didn't even realize Y/N had pulled away while breathing heavily. My eyes fluttered open as I looked to see the state that Y/N was in. Her eyes her still closed while her chest heaved at a fast pace. Her forehead rested against my own and she seemed completely relaxed now. I wasn't sure how long had passed until we managed to calm down, but eventually the taller girl let me back down onto my feet softly. Her eyes opened to meet my gaze and I could tell she was anxious once again.
When I placed my hand back on her cheek, the younger girl leaned into my touch with a small smile on her face. "You have nothing to worry about Y/N. I loved every second. Are you okay?" I had to ask to make sure I didn't overstep any of my boundaries. The fact that I knew it was wrong to be doing this only made it seem more erotic, and more desirable. Y/N nodded her head, her smile widening at my words. She slightly pulled away to get a better look at my face where she allowed herself to take a step back.
"Perfect." She muttered between us. I couldn't help but mirror the wide smile on her face as I leaned up to place a short kiss on her lips. I moved to place another on her cheek before settling back down. We stood there in a daze it seemed like, just smiling at one another until there was a knock on her door. Y/N scurried away to sit on her bed as the door opened to reveal Ally, and as much as I liked the shorter girl, I couldn't help but want to curse her in my head. When she saw the two of us, she gave us both a wide smile like she always managed to do in her sunshine attitude.
"I just wanted to check up on you two and see if you guys were back yet. Now that I have you here though, can I talk to you, Lauren? Plus I think it's time to let Y/N relax a bit after what I'm sure was a long day." Ally looked between us again. I nodded my head awkwardly and looked towards Y/N who was fumbling with her fingers in her lap. I looked back at Ally before going to kneel down in front of the younger girl.
"I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" I asked quietly, catching Y/N's attention. She looked up to meet my eyes before she gave one solid nod. I could see a hint of a smile on her face but it was barely noticeable. I returned the gesture and stood up to follow Ally out of the room. She locked the door behind us and walked in front of me towards the elevator.
"I wasn't sure if I told you this when we last discussed it, but I just wanted to make sure you knew that I arranged some extra security just in case something happens regarding Y/N's parents. You didn't tell her, did you?" Ally asked as we settled into the elevator. I shook my head. "Okay good. I don't want either of you to worry about this so I'll continue to monitor anything that may happen. I just want you to relax like I told you to, and maybe we can work something out in the morning or after you're done working with Y/N for the day. How is she doing by the way? Any progress?"
"Yes there's been some progress overall. It just seems like sometimes we can take a step forward but end up taking two backwards so it's tough at times. Nothing I can't handle though." I gave a tight-lipped smile towards the shorter girl who nodded happily. The elevator came to a stop on the first floor and the two of us made our way out where Ally slowly led me towards the entrance of the building. I smiled politely towards Camila as we passed who in turn gave a small wave.
"That's great to hear Lauren. I will give you a call if anything happens but for now, I hope you have a good night's rest, okay?" I nodded my head at Ally's words as we came to a stop at the doors. I bid my goodnight and made my way to my car so that I could head home, a wide smile never leaving my face as I thought about the girl who stole my heart.
+~+~+~+~