Category is: Angst
A/N: I just saw that this book is #2 in Trixie Mattel fics. Holy SHIT.. How? Thank you guys so much for reading this trash. You've brought some life back into this dead heart of mine. This chapter is gonna be somewhat short, because I wanna save some things for chapter 3.
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You stood in line at the small coffee shop that you frequented before work. 9am was still too early for you, and a caffeine buzz was the only thing going to get you through the first leg of the work day. You stood there, stifling back a yawn as you watched the small, brunette girl behind the counter work diligently to fulfill orders that were quickly adding up. You tapped your foot lightly on the ground as you waited as patiently as you could, hoping you could get out of here soon as the place was beginning to get a bit too crowded for your liking.
"Vanilla bean latte with a shot of expresso!" The girl called out as she sat the cup on the counter.
You gave a sigh of relief as you walked forward to reach out for your drink. But your body collided with someone else who was also reaching for it.
"Whoa," A tall guy in a backwards baseball cap called as he turned his head towards you.
He looked way too familiar.
"Sorry, this is mine." You gave him a polite smile as you wrapped your fingers around it.
"I thinks it's mine. I ordered before you." He blinked down at you, his lips stretching into a thin. He was intent on taking it.
"Uhh, vanilla bean?" You questioned.
He nodded. "With a shot of espresso -- yeah."
You looked down at the cup, the name 'Brian' was scrawled across it in black magic marker, and then it hit you who he was -- he was Trixie Mattel.
"Oh shit. Sorry," You said sheepishly as you pulled your hand back, embarrassed.
Your face scrunched as You turned to the barista. "Uhm, what about my vanilla bean latte?"
She turned to you with a shrug. "I'm sorry. That was the last of it."
You groaned, already exasperated with the day. "Okay, just a regular black coffee then."
"Hang on," The guy said as he held out his drink to you. "You're lucky I'm feeling generous, Linda -- take it."
"No, no. It's okay." You tried to assure him, but he just cocked his eyebrow at you and thrust the drink into your hand.
"Just take it." He rolled his eyes.
You gave him a grateful smile and took it from his hand. "You're not gonna drag me into the sewer now, are you?"
He laughed at your joke, while his nose scrunched in cutest way. "No, I just do drag in sewers."
"Yeah, I thought I recognized you. Trixie Mattel, right?" You questioned. "Let me buy you something as a thank you."
"That's me, but don't worry about it. Although, if you're feeling very giving, I'll take a thousand dollars." He smiled in response.
You chuckled, taking a sip of the drink. "How about I start with paying off the coffee?"
"You drive a hard bargain, but I'll take what I can get." He pulled a pen out of his pocket and took one of your hands, writing something down. "Here is my number. Get in touch with me later, and maybe you can buy me a croissant, or a new personality -- whichever is cheapest."
"I'll see what I can do." You gave him a warm smile.
"I guess I should get your name, just in case you turn out to be a stalker." He popped the cap back on the pen and looked at you, his chocolate brown eyes looking directly into yours this time.
You parted your lips, stuttering for a moment before the words would come out. "I- I'm (Y/N)."
"I'd introduce myself, but my name is literally on your cup, and you already know who I am." He gestured towards the cup, then himself.
You held it up, analyzing it momentarily before looking back up at him. "It doesn't say 'Skinny Legend' on here."
And the rest, as they say -- is history..
~
That was the memory of the first time that you and Brian had ever met, and now, it was playing over and over in your head on a continuous loop; along with other memories that you just wished that you could forget now. It didn't take long to find a vacant hotel in the city, but you did have to settle for something a little less posh than a place that offered a 5 star suite. So, you checked yourself into a small hotel room that was a little bit seedy to say the least, but at this point, you didn't care.
Anything was better than staying in that apartment with him for one more second. But only minutes after you left, he was blowing up your phone; you could feel it now, vibrating against the inside of your pant's pocket as you checked into the hotel at the front desk with some older woman with a smoker's cough.
Once you were finally given your key, you headed over towards your room. It was on the second floor, so you had a balcony -- Well, technically -- it was just a walkway that looped around the building to other rooms, but it was something, atleast. When you found your room number, you unlocked the door and stepped inside. You dropped your suitcase and looked over the quaint little room. For a cheaper price it wasn't so bad, but it definitely wasn't a place you wanted to stay long term. In fact, the next task at hand was looking through ads for apartments, but that'd have to wait until tomorrow.
"Well, atleast if the place has bed bugs, I can take them back to his apartment when I go get the rest of my stuff," You sighed quietly to yourself as you slid your shoes off.
Usually, you laughed harder at your own jokes than anybody else, but right now, even you couldn't find much humor in anything. You sat down on the small, double bed and pulled out your phone, you needed to see why he was even bothering to talk to you now. You opened it up to see a flurry of messages from him:
You didn't have to fucking leave.
I ducked ip
*I fucked up
I know that I fucked up, and I'm sorry, (Y/N). This is the last thing that I wanted to happen. I never wanted to breakup, no matter what I said, or what you saw.
I love you and no one else. You NEED to understand that.
You were wrong, though. I'm not out to try to make you look like the bad guy.
Please say something. Cuss me out if you want, I don't care. Just say something, please.
Just let me know that you're okay and not dead in the fucking street, (Y/N).
I'm fine. I'm right where I want to be.
Where are you?
At a fucking Super 8 a few blocks away. Why doesn't it matter?
Because I want to know that you're safe, that's why.
Well, I'm not dead,obviously.
Will you please just stop?
YOU FUCKING CHEATED ON ME.
You stopped getting to tell me what to do the moment you decided to stick your dick inside some other girl, asshole.
AND I'M SORRY. HOW CAN I MAKE IT RIGHT WHEN YOU WON'T EVEN LET ME GODDAMN SPEAK TO YOU??
Because I'm not ready to fucking listen to you, Brian.
Fine. I love you. Goodnight.
Yeah, and I loved you.
You glared down at your phone screen, shaking your head at how overbearing he suddenly decided to start being. Here you were with your chest feeling like it had been ripped open, and he expected you to just sit down and listen to him as he gave you bullshit apology after bullshit apology. You rolled your eyes as you turned your phone off; you were exhausted with this whole situation, and you didn't want to deal with it anymore tonight.
You changed out of your clothes and got into bed -- it was definitely a weird feeling. You were in a strange place by yourself, and the only person who could comfort you during this time was the same person that had just betrayed you in one of the worst ways a person can. You sighed deeply as you stared up at the ceiling, all this thoughts beginning to play like a movie inside of your head again, and closing your eyes only made it worst. The exhaustion was set in for the long haul it seemed, because you were bound for no sleep at this rate.
Brian's P.O.V
He stared down at his phone, wiping his eyes as he scrolled through his contacts. Try as he might; there was no getting through to you right now, and he'd have to wait. Instead, he was doing the only thing he knew to do at the moment; Katya was the last person he really wanted to call at that moment, but he had no other choice. He held the phone up to his ear, listening to it ring a couple of times before the voice on the other end broke through.
"Barbara, are you ready to suck my dick?" Katya hissed through the receiver.
"Cut the shit. I have a problem," Brian said bluntly. There wasn't a hint of humour in his voice, and that's when Katya knew that shit was serious.
"Oh Christ. What's going on?" She sighed.
"(Y/N) dumped me," He admitted, bringing his thumb up to his mouth as he began chewing nervously on the nail.
"What the fuck are you talking about, Linda? I just saw her a few days ago, everything was fine then," Katya's voice raised slightly, she was unsure of whether this was a joke or not.
"Yeah, well, there's more to it than that."
"Well, you called me, and it wasn't to finally admit that you want to sit on my face, or that I am a more beautiful woman than you -- so, please fill me in on what the fuck is going on with the two of you cretins," Katya groaned from the other end of the line.
"I met someone on tour last month.. We had a thing, and (Y/N) found texts on my phone about it when I got back today," Brian said, biting his lip.
There was a dead silence on the other end of the line for a moment; the only thing that could be heard was the familiar flick of a lighter as Katya no doubt needed some nicotine to process this shit.
"Are you joking?" Was Katya's only response. The two of you had become close friends the past couple of months, so, of course hearing this no doubt sent a sudden rush of disapproval and anger through her. "You fucking cheated on her; that's what you're saying to me?"
Brian rolled his eyes, "Look, I'm not fucking proud it -- but yes."
"Okay, well, if you called me because you thought I was gonna pity you, you're wrong. Do you feel like shit, Brenda? Because you should," Katya's voice was stern this time.
It wasn't often she was serious about anything, but when she was, that's how you knew you were fucked.
"You should know that I do. I love her," Brian breathed into the phone.
"No, I don't know, actually. I honestly wouldn't have guessed you'd do that kind of thing. It's disgusting, actually."
"Thanks for the pep talk, mom."
"It's called 'tough love', cunt. Clearly you need it for cheating on a woman that even I'd lay with," Katya confessed before clearing her throat awkwardly into the phone.
"I know. Look, she won't have anything to do with me, and the two of you are close. Just talk to her, please?" Brian was desperate now, it was evident in his tone.
"I'm going to talk to her, regardless. Trust me, you need to give her space right now. Crowding her and telling her you're sorry isn't gonna do shit and it's gonna make her trust you even less. Is she there now?"
"No, she left. She's at a hotel," Brian's voice was laced with regret.
Katya hummed lowly at him before speaking, "Don't worry about it. I'll take care of her. In the meantime, get your shit together. But actually get it together; don't watch a few romantic comedies and assume you know how to woo a woman into forgiving your shit behavior, Deborah."
"Suck my ass, Linda. Like you've never cheated on anyone." Brian rolled his eyes.
"I haven't, actually. If I don't want to be with someone -- I tell them. It's really easy."
"I do want to be with her," Brian answered in protest.
"That literally makes zero sense. Do you know how fucked up it is that that I have to tell you that something doesn't make sense, Trixie?" Katya groaned again.
"Don't remind me, I'm depressed enough as it is," Brian sighed as he shuffled his way to his bedroom. He paused at the doorway as he peered into his now empty room, and even emptier bed.
"Serves you right. I care about you, but this was shitty on your part," Katya spoke harshly, but nothing she said was untrue.
"Yeah, I know. Just look out for her," He sighed as he approached his bed, feeling the heaviness in his chest set it.
"Yeah, yeah. I'm the Lecter to her Starling, bitch," Katya said before hanging up abruptly.
She was clearly very disappointed with Brian, which he understood completely. He did a shitty thing, and now he had to deal with the consequences of those actions.
(Y/N)'s P.O.V
The night went just as you expected. You tossed and turned majority of the time as your body tried to find sleep; you were exhausted, but had no such luck in getting much rest. By the time the sunrise had started to creep up lazily on the horizon, that's when you felt your body nearly ready to give out, and just as your eyes began to get so heavy that you couldn't hold them open, you were jerked out of your dozing by loud knocks at the door.
"Jesus Christ." You groaned with a sigh as you lifted yourself up.
Somehow you felt worse now; you felt like you had a hangover, but without the drinking. Your chest was heavier than it had been lastnight, and your mind felt foggy. It felt as if you weren't even there. You dragged yourself to the door, a sigh escaping your lips as you asked who it was.
"Maureen McDougall!" The voice called from the otherside. You instantly knew who it was.
"Katya?" You questioned as you unlocked the deadbolt of the door, pulling it open. Your lips parted as you saw the tall, lean man standing in front of you with a baseball cap pulled down onto his head. "What the hell are you doing here?"
"Mommie Dearest called me, Brenda. I'm here for damage control, and to make sure you haven't offed yourself." She said with a shrug as she pushed the door open, stepping in past you.
She eyeballed the room, turning around in her spot before her eyes landed on you again. Neither of you seemed me to find it odd that you were only standing there in just your underwear.
You pushed the door shut with force, letting it slam back into the frame as you turned your body towards him. "So, you know?"
"I know more than I should." He gave you a small nod.
"If you're over here to tell me I should go over there and talk to him, you really are crazy. Tell Joan Crawford that she can go fuck herself." You sneered in his direction as you walked over to your suitcase to pull out some fresh clothing.
"No. Christ, why would I say that?" He rolled his eyes as she watched you pulling a pair of old jeans up your thighs. He lowered himself down onto the bed, struggling to keep his gaze on the floor.
"Because he probably gave you some sob story." You shifted your eyes over towards him.
He shook his head, "No, Barbara. He said he cheated. That's what this is about, isn't it?"
You were stopped dead in your tracks as you heard those fateful words; hearing someone else say it made it sting even more than usual. You took a deep breathe, trying to console the static-like feeling within your chest that was rising up again.
You nodded slowly, "..Yeah, he did.. so, why are you here, Kat?"
"Like I said: damage control. I'm not Just gonna let you sit over here alone like this." He gave you a sincere look.
"I'm not going over there," You said firmly as you pulled a fresh shirt over your head. You turned to him, crossing your arms.
"Good. You don't need to. That's not why I'm fucking here anyway, and I'm not here to convince you of anything either. She's my friend, but that was really fucked up. I'm on your side here, (Y/N)." He finally stood up again, crossing his arms as he looked down at you. "But you're not staying here."
You held your arms out. "I have nowhere else to go."
"Bitch, I have an apartment. Pack your shit, I'm adopting you like a stray dog with mange." He gave you a toothy grin.
You scoffed, the smallest smile forming over your lips. That was the first geuine smile you cracked sense yesterday. "It's fine, Katya. I'm good here."
He narrowed his eyes, "This isn't negotiable. You're coming with me. I mean, look at this place," He gestured around the room, "I'm pretty sure I've done drugs in this fucking room before."
"You say that like it's a bad thing." You gave him another weak smile as you started placing things into your bag.
You knew you had to go with him now. He wasn't gonna let you stay here, and truth be told, you were happy he came in to scoop you up.
He turned his head to you, a mischevious smirk spreading over his lips, "It's bad if the drugs aren't free."
You shook your head at him, "I hate you for trying to make me feel better, and actually succeeding at it."
"Somebody has to do it, Barbara. If anyone is gonna be an emotional wreck, it's gonna be me. I'll kill you before you take that title from me, it's all I have." He raised an eyebrow at you.
You scoffed as you narrowed your eyes at him, "That is not all you have, Kat." You turned towards him with a slight shrug, "You still have Herpes and Contact."
He hissed at you, laughing as he flailed an arm, "Look at you, bitch. You're already doing better."
"Yeah, well, you're taking me in, so I need to bring some sunshine into your life." You pulled your bag over your shoulder, walking towards the door with him.
He smiled at you, and reached out as he took the bag from you, pulling the strap of it over his own shoulder.
"How did he sound?" You asked, chewing on your lip.
"She said she's sorry, and she wants to be with you. She sounds like she regrets it, but, I'm not about to fucking tell you how to feel," He shook his head.
He followed behind you as the two of you made your way out the door of the room.
"I just don't get it. Why cheat on me in the first place then?" You turned to him. You looked up in his eyes, desperate for some sort of reasoning or answer.
He sighed and shrugged, "I thought the same shit. Men are complicated -- trust me."
"Well, he can be complicated by himself," You said, pressing your lips firmly together as the two of you left the room.
Once you were downstairs, you turned your key into the front office and set off for Katya's apartment. You were relieved that you atleast had someone on your side, and having that person be Katya was quite unexpected.