The two started to walk in a slow pace, side-by-side in the cold January afternoon. Jimin was wearing navy blue turtleneck inside his grey plaid coat and a black baseball cap to cover his attention seeking cotton candy pink hair.
Both were silent in their wandering, unable to express how they are both feeling fluttered but scared out of their wits as well.
It's probably the comfort of their own coats and the warm feeling that it brought that the two felt a sense of security in their stroll - not even a sense of urgency to walk away and go back to their own bubbles - living separate lives where one does not necessarily overlap with the other's business.
Just coexisting, never colliding.
They are not even holding hands but their stride, their pace and their breaths are in sync with each other.
It is unfair when the world connives for two people to meet each other - like right now - and when it feels that they've known each other for more than they actually have, when others take an ungodly long time, multiple trial and errors, and several heartaches to finally say they've found a home.
Some people call it divine providence, serendipity, others luck, some karma, a kismet, or even the Fates spinning and cutting their thread.
But these two idols walking the same path haven't realized it yet, because they live in the moment of that ambiguity, the place before stepping foot into another threshold, the moment before you make a giant leap of faith. And what scares them is not the fact that they both know they wanted to take that step into the unknown.
It was the actuality that it's all too perfect for them. It's been years that they have tried to avoid to be infatuated with the concept of being in love and loved. And when it is presented plainly and in sight, say, like walking beside them in the Han river, all the two could do is wait for the world to say, "Aha! Joke's on you!"
So, yes, the world connived for them to meet. But then even if the universe planned it all, nothing is going too happen.
Unless they decide to grab the other's hand.
Unless they decide to talk.
Unless they say what's on their minds.
Until then, they're probably satisfied with what they have now.
For now.
▪▪▪○▪▪▪
The two settled on the grassy area near the Han River. However, unlike the cafe awhile ago, the park beside the river was packed with people: families, couples, friends, individuals minding their own worlds.
Jimin felt Seulgi stiffen beside him, her eyes were shaky as she scanned the place and found her eyes drawn back to the man beside her; she's asking for validation; and he's giving her one: "Yes, we are staying here."
"Jimin-sshi." She croaked, her throat began to dry, she wrung her fingers as she began to felt more and more anxious.
"Ne~" Jimin answered, softly but with the teasing inflection in his voice. He slowly looked at her inching a bit closer as Seulgi looked back at him curiously. The man's eyes sparkled as he placed his hand behind her head. Seulgi flinched at the sudden movement taking a sudden intake of breath before realizing that he reached for the hood of her jacket to put over her head.
But Jimin didn't end there as he had the liberty to tease the other, so he placed both hands on the side of her head before stooping down to whisper,
"The more you act as if we don't belong here, the more you'll attract people's eyes." He fixed her hood on the side of her head and patted it before continuing,
"Don't be nervous. We'll just do what usual couples do, okay?"
Overt is covert. The more typical something is, the easier it is to hide in the open.
That was Jimin's thinking, the more something seems suspicious the more a person would pry to look at the truth. But if they act as if it's normal for them, people's eyes will naturally drift away or he's just really acting on his inner desires here.
In reality, the two looked like they are really a couple on a date, and what Jimin did, looked like he just gave her a tender kiss on her cheek. And Seulgi was swept away by the his luscious, whispering voice, she found herself drowning back into his intense stare with her blushing cheeks.
"And what are those 'things' that couples do here?" She asked innocently, genuinely wanting to know the answer.
An overly eager bear, taking stumbling steps in realizing her own feelings.
Jimin was confused, mostly because he never expected her to actually ask him, partly because her gleaming eyes told him she was really clueless as to what he meant. He never really intended to do anything with her, besides, he hasn't even confessed to her so anything he does before everything is clear between them is invalid.
She was so eager to know, if he didn't know any better, he would have thought that this girl is being sly - trying to make him kiss her. But it's Seulgi, and Jimin would know that she's not faking it - you see everything in her eyes.
"They hold hands." Jimin started.
"Oh." She blinked a few times.
"They hug and cuddle in the grass." Jimin continued frowning.
"Uh-huh." Seulgi nodded, as if taking notes in her head.
"They kiss." Jimin said scrutinizing her responses.
Seulgi pouted and chewed on her lower lip, obviously consisering.
Jimin lost it and lightly flicked her creased forehead.
"Yah! 누나! Don't keep on nodding!" He said, chastising the other who stared at him wide eyed.
He didn't knowing if it was because he 'accidentally' slipped on calling her 누나 or because he just flicked her forehead.
"You flicked my forehead!" Seulgi shielded her throbbing forehead with the palm of her hand.
"I did." He huffed out, getting tired each minute he had to calm his racing heart.
"Yah! You brat, I was born a year earlier than you!"
"You're being too reckless, nodding your head off like that!" The man was aghast, and grumbled, "Are you gonna go around kissing any guy who would suggest it? Seriously. You're killing me."
"No. Just you." She said matter-of-factly before pouting and walked off, like a kid with tantrums stomping off into the grass.
"Wha-? What?! 뭐라고? What did you just say?" Despite Seulgi's cute stomping, Jimin smiled to himself and followed her.
Is she even in the slightest flirting back at me?
He smiled, a goofy smile before waddling towards her.
"누나~ say that again." He cooed, and Seulgi just shooed him off but he insisted, "주세요~ (Please~). He chuckled following her lead.
▪▪▪○▪▪▪
They sat on the bench surrounded by plenty of trees munching on some hot Bungeo-ppang.
Seulgi was nibbling on hers, while Jimin was halway through his. They sat there in silence, recalling what has happened within the day.
There was an unspoken agreement between the two of them and they both know it. As if one is just waiting for the other to confirm it. Whatever they have right now they both wanted to cherish it. But right now it has become a big elephant inside their collided worlds, one big enough that they both cannot ignore.
But Seulgi feels more that some things are better left unsaid, passively, she just didn't know what to do with all that she is feeling.
Jimin on the other hand, wanted to let it out in the open. He wanted to tell her, so he knows if she feels the same way, and if she willing to do the things he has set his mind in doing.
"We should have bought some Pringles from the convenience store." He said eyeing the girl beside him and smiling at her nibble on the bread.
"Don't worry, I have a stash at home." Seulgi replied, as she bit into her snack. "I won't mind sharing to you some next time."
Next time? When could that be?
Jimin sighed,
When has dating bacome a taboo for idols?
It wasn't even his own question now as he would usually see a member from Bangtan huff out the same sentiment he has.
He's not sure if he can do something to both express his feelings for her and protect her at the same time. Both seemed impossible to do simultaneously. It's either the world knows he's in love with her or she's bashed by people who do not like their relationship.
He ate the last bite of his Bungeo-ppang. And opened the bottle of water they bought, dousing his drying throat. The least he can do now is try to tell her not expecting anything from her side, because he knows the risks it will entail.
"Seulgi-sshi."
He facepalmed.
Seulgi-sshi.
"Seulgi is fine. Plus you've been dropping the honorofics since awhile ago." She continued, referring to him calling her 누나 (noona) nonchalantly.
One down, Jimin thought.
He cleared his throat just then, making the lady beside him adjust her stance to look at him, thinking he will say something, which he does.
"I...uh... yeah."
"That doesn't even make sense." She chuckled, her eyes formed crescents in delight.
Jimin smiled slightly, he cannot mask his anxiety but he tried again, mustering enough courage.
"Seulgi, I know it's sudden and it might not be the most coherent thing to say right now... but, I just want to say..."
"I like you."
There. He thought. I said it.
But she didn't say, 'me too', 'ditto', 'same' or 'I like you too', she didn't say a thing as she stared back at what seemed to be the longest 3 seconds in their lives, before a movement was seen, in the form of Seulgi's Bunggeo-ppang hitting the ground.
"Say something?" Jimin said, as calmly as possible, but in truth all he wanted was to dio his hair out of his scalp.
Seulgi stood up rather suddenly, and before Jimin could react he saw himself staring at the top of her head as she bowed to him and walked off briskly not even showing her face to him.
What just happened?
▪▪▪○▪▪▪
The lobby looked forlorn as a lone individual entered, his head hung low and his shoulders slumped. He wasn't even able to greet the guard and the receptionist who looked at him then to each other as he made his way to the elevators.
The ride back home was probably the most deafening experience he has, with nothing but the driver who did not speak to him except when he asked for the address, Jimin was left alone with his heart drumming on his chest.
I fucked this up. I fucked it up really good this time. I should have just kept it in. She didn't even say anything.
He wasn't angry at her, he was angry at himself because he felt that he pressured her to say something and that drove her farther away from him.
The boy pressed the elevator button and slumped in the corner not minding if anyone would enter or if the receptionist and guard watched from the CCTV his sorry state.
When the doors opened to their floor the boy stood up swaying slightly, slowly walking out that the doors almost closed on him again. He cannot even remember how he got to their shared room as he sat on the foot of the bed gazing blankly into the wall, his senses abandoned. He threw his head back on the mattress to begin staring at the ceiling.
He cannot remember if he drifted asleep, but he knew that the phone ringing from the living room was annoying him too much that he was able to stand up and go outside.
No one seemed to be in their rooms, but then again the rappers could be working in their own rooms. Plus, it was so rare for that phone to ring unless from the call is from thr receptionist or delivery. Nonetheless, Jimin found himself half-heartedly reaching for it.
"Yeah?"
"Good evening, are you expecting a visitor?" The cheery voice of the receptionist boomed in his ears and he had too move the phone away from his ears.
"No? I'm not sure about the others." He croaked back, his voice laced with sleep.
"Oh. Jimin-sshi." She said obviously surprised, then paused and slipped back into a much more formal voice, "It was actually for you."
"Who is it then?" Jimin said quite annoyed, she could have said that in the first place, but maybe it's the heartache speaking for him. He seriously has to apologize later on but not now, he's not sorry for anyone but himself.
"She said you might not want to see her when you know."
"Ms. Song, I am not really in the mood to talk." He sighed and massaged his temples, "Please tell whoever that is that I'm not playing."
Ms. Song, the receptionist, was flustered, seeing the state of Jimin awhile ago and the pleading eyes of the girl in front of her, she was placed in a dilemna.
"Wait! She said she brought Pringles as a peace offering."
That's all it took for Jimin to scamper to the elevators, abusing the buttons a few more times before one door opened for him.
He was greeted in the lobby by the eyes of those who saw him enter earlier, but added to those was another pair that looked back at him, not anymore unsure or side glancing.
The girl walked towards him when he obviously slowed down and halted as he finally saw who the person was. The person he thought he wouldn't see for a long time.
Jimin was obviously winded and so was she as if she had also been running. Her nose was red from the cold and she carried in front of her a tube of Original flavored Pringles.
"I'm sorry." She said and offered him her Pringles.
"Seulgi, 누나. You're here?"
"I am." She gave him an apologetic smile as he reached out to grab the Pringles she offered, "Listen. I have to tell you something." She paused to search his eyes but stopped when she noticed something, "have you been crying?" She gasped as she saw streaks of tear marks that dried on his pale face and reach out to try to remove it.
"No? I don't know." Jimin was flustered at the contact, he thought he was dreaming, hasn't it only been about 3 hours since she left him.
"You're confused, aren't you?"
He nodded furiously making his hair bob up and down.
"I was just too surprised, to say the least." She smiled at him, "You know I can be slow sometimes." He nodded his head furiously again, to that she laughed, "Okay, I guess a lot of times. And because I was too surprised my mind went blank and I just had to distance myself from you to sort out what I have to say."
"And that took you three hours?" He said massaging the back of his head.
"Almost." She acknowledged.
"So?"
"So..." she said, twisting her body cutely as she wrung her hands behind her back, "I like you too."
Jimin covered his face with his hand and laughed out loud, all worries swept away by merely four words. Four words said as genuinely as possible.
Seulgi looked at him and his her face behind her hair that's now let down.
Jimin tried to speak but the air in his lungs seemed to be insufficient so he tried to calm down his self breathing deeply.
"That took three hours to sort out?"
"There are a lot more to say and I'm not really good with words." She admitted, "But the gist of it is, I want you."
She then clasped her hand on her mouth, she finally said that aloud. Jimin on the other hand burst out laughing, she's so unpredictable, saying and doing what's on top of her mind. He is now happy she never answered him awhile ago, or he wouldn't probably hear these words coming from her mouth ever.
When the two finally calmed down from blushing and laughing, they stood within each other's arm's-length in a daze, as if their minds forgot to think what would happen the moment after they confessed.
Idiot bears and mochis.
Jimin decided to step closer to give her a bear hug, not breaking the way his eyes met hers, both longing and sparkling bit his was unassuming.
When he is a feet within her, she blurted out, "Is this the part where you kiss me?"
And for the second time Jimin laughed aloud, he was down on the floor hollering clutching his aching stomach, even sitting on the floor letting the tube of Pringles roll.
The past few hours have been a roller coaster ride for him.
She's a bear, he reminded himself.
"Aren't you too blunt?" He asked her after a minute of laughter. He looked around to find the guard and receptionist looking in their general direction, relieved they caught sight of the bright Jimin, before they whipped their heads the other way when they saw the boy look back at them.
"Well since you asked nicely." He said as he placed both hands on the side of her face and gave her forehead a kiss.
"Thank you." Jimin smiled within the kiss, "Thank you for giving us a chance."
Seulgi closed her eyes as she felt his breath caress her forehead and went in to give him a hug, her head on the crook of his neck.
"Me too."
Jimin placed one more kiss on her temple before looking ahead, seeing two people giving him the 'okay' sign.
"You really have soft lips you know." Seulgi awkwardly announced.
I think I'm going to die of a bear attack, Jimin pondered as he held onto her tightly.
《------------》
This took longer to write than I intended.
Nevertheless, I hope you enjoyed reading it. 😊
-Divs 🍀
Date: V - XXXI - MMXVIII