" Vivaan.... Vivaan listen to me, look at me, Vivaan.... "
This was going to be difficult. Riha knew.
Vivaan stood at the balcony, the frivolous downpour outside drenching both him and Riha.
All he said in a deep choking voice was, " Go inside Riha, you will catch cold. "
•••
Three years of a married life, and Vivaan had kept Riha like a soft flower on a quilt. If by chance she sneezed twice, Vivaan would run to bring the best antibiotics in town. And if she held her stomach, making a grumpy face, Vivaan would stop eat-outs for a month, and pack a huge tiffin box of home made hygienic lunch for Riha, to the hospital.
" Vivaan, stop being my dad!! " , Riha would laugh. And the next moment, Vivaan's serene face with a shade of sadness would bring tears to her eyes. She would immediately wrap her arms round his neck and place her head on his chest.
And softly whisper,
" But if this gives you peace, I'm ready to take as many medicines you want me to. And have Khichdi for how many months you want me to. "
The shade of sadness would disappear from his face, and a smile would cross.
" Remember, a doctor's doctor is her mother, and then her husband. Be good now. "
Riha could climb the highest towers on earth just to have a glimpse of this smile.
" Alright dear husband. This patient material is all yours. "
Riha had realised in all this time, Vivaan was the only thing she had ever wanted in life!
Her prized possession.
She could be the proudest, having him and called hers.
She realised, in a gathering, at a meet, if she could somehow take Vivaan along, convincing him after paying various prices, Riha would only remain keen on introducing him to everyone around.
" This is Vivaan, my husband!!! "
The exaggeration on 'husband' did not surprise her, she rather noticed it herself and repeated on purpose.
Though at times it embarrassed her ever withdrawn husband.
" Why are you so keen on introducing me to strangers as though I'm some celebrated personality? "
" Since when did Vivaan start having problems with strangers? Remember the lecture you gave me on how beautiful strangers are? " , Riha would wink, changing the topic playfully.
" That's not the point. The point is, I never introduced myself as though I'm some sort of a biggie. You do exactly that! "
" Aww how do I forget. Leave alone a biggie, you never even introduced yourself. " , Riha drifted off to their first meet with a sheepish smile on face.
After sometime, Vivaan would slowly say,
" Riha. Don't take me to these parties much. I don't like when I see you drinking. And if I talk that way, you'll find me possessive and interfering. But the actual thing is..... "
Vivaan would change sides on the bed away from her and switch off the bed lamp. And stay that way.
Engulfed in darkness, Riha would sit carressing his hair.
" Vivaan and interfering?
Mr Husband, if only you knew, I know you better than you yourself do.
Fine, if you really detest, I won't insist you again. Actually I'm quite snobbish selfish, and childish that way, as if trying to display my...my...most cherished gift to the world......
I promise you Vivaan, I won't drink, ever again. Not because I believe you are interfering. But because you are insecure, because you think alcohol kills.... "
And Riha would stop shivering.
She hardly used words that connected death in her conversations! Why did she do that today?
She would sit holding her breath, only to realise and breathe a sigh of relief, that Vivaan had dosed off after a tiring day...
••
The reports to his semen test broke Vivaan completely.
" Vivaan, please, please relax!! It's nothing!! You know very well Vivaan, infertility is no big deal...it just happens and you ain't responsible for anything at all! You will be completely cured very soon and.... "
Riha's words remained incomplete when Vivaan thumped out of the clinic and flew past on his Royal Enfield.
Riha thrashed on the bench beside, and wiped sweat beads off her forehead.
Why? Why had she insisted on doing these tests? Why was she so confident that the problem lied in her because of which she couldn't conceive even after several trials? She was hell sure that the polycistic disease she once had was the cause!
Why didn't she even ponder upon the fact that if by chance it pointed to Vivaan, he would break more than any other man?
Rishita, her friend in Gynaec PG placed a hand on her shoulder.
" Go home Riha. He needs you more than anything right now. Everything's gonna be okay, but he needs to be stable first. "
Riha pressed her hand, and ran for an auto.
Before anything, Vivaan had to be pulled back from drowning into the pool of depression once again.
The pool that convinced him...that he was harmful, to everyone he loved.
•••
" Go away Riha! Why don't you? " , Vivaan looked extremely helpless when she kept standing beside him and got sprayed with the uncontrolled rain.
" Because I had promised, I would never leave you alone. "
Vivaan immediately retired into the room from the balcony.
Riha ran behind and hugged him from the back. Vivaan struggled and broke the hug.
" Riha, do you see?
My fears, my anxieties, my incapabilites, my interferences, my darkness, my bad omen, everything...everything is slowly engulfing you.
It's high time you leave me Riha, because one day my peculiarity and dependence will not let you do that too.... I.... "
Riha placed her finger on his lips. Drops escaped from either corners of her eyes. She could bear every pain on earth, but not Vivaan's.
" If you don't shut up Vivaan, I'll be forced to kiss you to death. " , she smiled mischievously trying to lighten the mood.
Vivaan nodded impatiently and pushed her away.
Riha didn't move an inch, she rather tightly gripped him.
" Your fears, your anxieties, your turbulences, are what made me fall so madly in love with you Mr Vivaan! Would you be lucky enough to have Riha in your life, had you been just someone else?
And you knucklehead want me to leave my asset! "
Riha pecked him on his neck. Vivaan suddenly began crying like a baby.
" I cannot even gift you with a child, for unconditionally loving me this much Riha.... "
" Vivaan!! " , Riha made him sit on the sofa.
" Why are you talking so ignorant Vivaan? Why even? You didn't wait for a sec after receiving the reports, to talk to Lataa madam! Had you done that, you wouldn't have been
sitting and blabbering shit here right now! "
Vivaan rubbed his eyes. Riha helped rubbing the streams down his cheeks.
"Ohkay, I might be cured. But why is everything so difficult a catch in my life? Why is nothing an easy go?"
"And why exactly do you want an easy life Mr Vivaan? Hadn't I told you? Life should be such, that people run through upheavals of emotions while reading your autobiography. " , she pulled his earlobes softly.
Vivaan slowly smiled.
" Stop treating me like a celebrity..
I won't ever write an autobiography. " , he talked like a child.
Returning the smile, Riha encircled him from the side.
" What am I here for? If not to write my turbulent husband man's biography? "
Vivaan smiled wider, but the smile vanished the next sec.
" What treatments do I have to undergo Riha? " , he said, his voice trembling a bit.
Riha slowly stood up to open all the windows they had closed owing to the rain sprays. Vivaan kept following her with his eyes.
She returned and looked into him.
" I was thinking a thing.
What if Jesus has given us this single opportunity to try and not be selfish for an own flesh child?
What if HE wants us to......to visit St Christoper's Cathedral, and bring a baby home? "
Vivaan stirred and looked straight at her.
" You mean....my orphanage? Lonavla? "
The glitter in his eyes was returning.
" Of course Mr Vivaan! What if your child waits there, to be picked up by your strong broad hands....and be prevented from drowning into pools of uncertainty as Vivaan once did? "
Suddenly, Riha was engulfed into a bone crushing hug. Smile broke on her face.
Hugging her for a very long time, Vivaan slowly spoke after releasing.
" Who created you Riha? That you are so perfectly chiseled? "
Riha took his hand, and pressed it with hers.
"I was specially created by Jesus, to fill love into the life of that despaired human....who used to say...
'Don't love me! I cannot love you back. ' "
Two lone tears dropped from both their eyes, at the same time on the hands that remained connected, forming a bridge.
•••
Just missed my couple, hence this.
By the way if you kindly read, please kindly drop a comment too.