A/N
Author note at the beginning this time. I am so sorry for the two week delay. Life has been crazy and I have had zero energy to do anything! I made this chapter extra super long for your patience. I hope you enjoy it!
Please comment and vote!
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As I fidget with my shirt and stare at my reflection I can't stop myself from being nervous. My mind keeps going back to junior year. All the games I sat at just to cheer for Niall. I never thought that I would be back in this position. How have I managed to get myself back into this situation? I tug on the jersey that has Niall's last name on the back. Once again I am branded with Niall's name. Louis has forced me to wear his mom's jersey. Louis guilt tripped me into wearing it. He kept saying "it would make mum so happy to have you wear it." I of course told Louis to have his sister wear it, but conveniently she already has her own jersey. Now here I am, in Niall freaking Horan's jersey with a pair of denim shorts. I roll my eyes knowing that this is Louis' pay back for me trying to set him up with McKenna.
"Jess, are you ready?" Rae asks as she walks into my room. I see that her and I are matching.
"How warm is it outside? Can I get away with wearing a jacket?" I look over at Rae with a frown.
"I mean it's in the low seventies and with how cold it's been in New York you might cook a little bit." Rae says with amusement. "We are all wearing Niall's jersey, so don't stress out."
"I just hate feeling so connected to him." I pull on the jersey one more time.
There is nothing I can really do. Either I wear the jersey or I don't. It isn't a big deal. Like Rae said, everyone is wearing one. I just need to shove these feelings down. I take a deep breath and move away from my mirror. I grab my purse that has everything I need. Rae and I leave my room and walk downstairs. As we make it to the last step Rae stops me.
"Remember what Harry said. Don't let words or other people control you." Rae gives me a look of concern. "Do not go clubbing with them tonight, even if Louis goes."
"Partying with a group of hot soccer players?" I shrug. "It would be like college all over again."
"Jess." Rae now sounds as concerned as she looks. "You have been doing so well."
"Don't worry. I am not going to go party with Niall and his friends." That is the last thing I would want.
"Come on!" Louis yells as he walks out of the kitchen. He finds us by the stairs and shakes his head. "Why does it always take you guys so long to get ready?"
"Because we are women. It takes a lot more to get our look than it takes to get your look." Rae informs Louis.
"And Rae had to talk me out of ripping this stupid jersey off me." I playfully glare at Louis. I look around and notice that Harry and the twins aren't down here. "Where is Harry and the twins?"
"Waiting in the car. The twins were getting anxious about missing the game. Harry took them outside." Louis rolls his eyes at us and walks towards the front door.
Rae and I follow Louis outside. Sure enough, Harry is sitting in the backseat with the twins. They are all dancing, which makes me laugh. Harry is pretty good at keeping kids entertained. As we enter the car the twins start to cheer. I look at the clock on the dash and see that it's a quarter to noon. Rae and I were not running late. Everyone is simply impatient. The twins climb into the third row of seats, since they are the only ones small enough to fit.
Louis drives away from his house and we drive in the direction of the hotel. I fidget in my seat nervously as we drive. The thought of wearing Niall's jersey, watching him play, and him seeing me in his jersey stresses me out. Before I know it we are pulling up to the stadium. I was so distracted with my thoughts that driving to the hotel and picking up McKenna was a complete blur. Now that we are at the stadium my mind goes on high alert. I know that we won't run into Niall, but my body can't seem to comprehend that.
When we get to the entrance I watch as Louis walks up to the ticket area. I follow behind everyone. I try my best to act normal, but everyone can tell that I'm nervous. Thankfully they all know me well enough to know to just leave me alone. After a few minutes Louis turns around and he hands us each a ticket. As I'm handed mine I look down and see that we are in section two, row a, and I am in seat number twelve. I honestly have no idea what any of that means, so I stay right behind Louis as we enter the stadium.
I watch as hundreds of people enter the stadium, so many different types of people. I become distracted by two little kids who are jumping up and down yelling "go arsenal!" The parents trying their best to keep their kids in arms reach. I smile at the little family and then continue on my way. I weave in and out of crowds of people to stay close to my group of friends. When we make it to the seating I relax. There aren't too many people trying to find seats yet. Everyone is getting drinks and snacks. I'm surprised as we keep walking closer and closer to the field. I knew Niall would get us good seats, but not this good. By the time we find our seats I notice that we are right behind one of the team's benches. I could easily jump the fence and be on the field. Harry sits down closest to the aisle. Rae sits next to him, so I sit next to her. McKenna then sits next to me. That leaves Louis to sit next to McKenna and the twins on his other side.
"What does everyone want to drink and eat?" Louis asks once he has his siblings settled in their seats.
Everyone lists off their food and drink order. I ask for a beer and kettle corn popcorn. Then Louis and Harry leave to get everyone's orders. I turn towards the field and study it for a moment. I can tell that the grass is fake. It is so green and shiny. Niall always hated turf fields. I wonder how he feels about them now.
"Look! They are coming on the field," Doris exclaims.
We all turn our heads to where he is pointing. I immediately see Arsenal written on the team's jerseys. The players go out on the field kicking soccerballs. The coaches come over to the sideline. Not just any sideline, the sideline right in front of our seats. Of course Niall got us seats that would be right next to him.
"Where is Louis and Harry? I need my beer." I mumble as I look behind me to see if I can find the two guys I'm looking for. With no such luck I turn around.
I look out at the field and watch the players warm up. There are different groups of players doing different things. Some are stretching, others passing a ball around, and the rest shooting. I don't mean to, but I find myself looking for Niall. I look through the different groups and find him on the ground stretching. I watch as he stands up. He looks over in my direction and waves. The twins squeal and wave back. Niall and I are making eye contact, so I quickly wave. This seems to satisfy him, because he turns and jogs over to the group of people shooting. I turn towards Rae who is smirking at me.
"What," I ask.
"McKenna," Rae leans forward to make eye contact with McKenna. "If you have been wondering what college was like with Jess when she was dating Niall, you just saw it."
"What does that mean?" I ask over Mckenna's laugh.
"Niall always looking for your approval and you easily giving him approval." Rae's smirk seems to taunt me.
"He was waving, so I waved back. How is that giving him my approval? How is he waving asking for approval?" I don't know why, but I become annoyed.
"Niall is a professional soccer player. He should be focusing on his game, but instead he is waving at you," Rae explains. "Thirty minutes ago you were complaining about wearing his jersey, but as soon as you see him you smile and wave."
"I didn't smile when I saw him." I say trying not to pout.
"You smiled." McKenna says with a big smile.
"Okay, I don't like you two getting along. I don't need the both of you picking on me." I stubbornly cross my arms.
It's not long before Harry and Louis are back. I eagerly take my beer and take big drink of it. I then open up my popcorn and eat a handful. I keep my attention on anything, but the field. After what feels like forever the announcer starts talking. He introduces the opposing team and the stadium is filled with boos. Then the announcer starts announcing the starting players for Arsenal. The stadium roars to life with loud cheers and clapping. I casually clap for each person. When Niall's name is spoken I force myself to continue clapping. When it's time for the game to start I get comfortable and stare at the field.
The ref blows the whistle and Niall's teammate passes the ball to him. I watch as Niall starts dribbling down the field, but then a player on the other team drops his shoulder and pushes it into Niall. Niall loses his balance and falls over. Fans start to boo, but the ref doesn't make any calls. The game continues and I find myself watching Niall more than the actual game. I try to focus on where the ball is at. The first half drags on, but that might be because no one scored. Soccer isn't very entertaining. I only liked watching it in college, because I had three people to cheer for. Now there is only half a person to cheer for.
By the time the second half starts I am completely bored. I watch as Niall dribbles the ball and the same player from the first half comes running up to Niall and grabs his jersey. Niall runs faster trying to get away from the guy. Niall passes the ball to one of his teammates, then turns and grabs the fistful of jersey that is in this guy's hand. Niall looks over at the ref on the sideline and it looks like the ref says "play on boys." Niall rolls his eyes, but jogs away. I continue to watch the player on the opposite team. He is kicking ankles, pulling on jerseys, and pushing Niall's team. The other team is playing quite dirty, but this guy especially is. I'm surprised that the refs are letting him get away with this. Someone is going to get hurt if this guy isn't careful.
As if right on cue Niall is passed the ball and he sprints off with it. He is on a break away, but I see the same player from the opposing time catching up with one of his teammates. I feel myself start to get nervous and I grip onto my beer bottle. I hold in my breath as the next few seconds pass by. The two opposing players come on both sides of Niall. One of them shoulder checks Niall, making his body twist while the other player slide tackles Niall. Clearly missing the ball and hitting Niall's ankle. I hear a loud gasp and realize it came from me.
I watch as Niall goes down. The two opposing players look down at Niall and smirk. My breath hitches as I wait for Niall to stand up. He rolls onto his back holding his knee. I look up at his face and pain is written all over it. I don't know what's louder, my thoughts or my beating heart. I keep repeating "get up, Niall. Get up," in my head. The ref blows his whistle and pulls out a yellow card. The ref then waves at Niall's coach. As the athletic trainer and the coach jog out onto the field I see that Niall won't be getting up. The athletic trainer reaches Niall. They talk for maybe a second before the athletic trainer waves someone over. I look at Niall one more time and seeing him is so much pain makes something inside me snap. I stand up and start pushing my way out of the seats. Rae grabs my arm as I pass her.
"I can't see him like this." I softly pull my arm out of her grip and continue walking.
I continue walking until I am in the area where you can buy food and drinks. I hear cheering and clapping coming from behind me. This makes me keep walking.
I walk until I notice that I am going in circles. I knew I would if I kept walking. I just didn't expect myself to walk this long. I'm sure it's been long enough that Niall is either back on the field playing or is off in some room being checked out by a doctor. I will just go to the bathroom and then head back out to the game. There was a bathroom right by my section so I continue walking until I find my section. As I walk towards the bathroom, two security guards walk past me. They mention Niall, so I follow them.
"Horan is being transported to the hospital. We need to make sure the ambulance can get out." One of the men say.
Niall is being sent to the hospital? What is wrong with him? I need to get answers and fast. I don't think these two men will tell me anything. I will probably just look like a crazy fan.
"Jess!" I hear Harry yell my name. The two security guards turn around and look at me. I smile and quickly turn around to face Harry, Rae, Louis, McKenna, the twins and some guy I have never met. "Niall is being taken to the hospital and he wants someone to ride with him."
"I'll do it." I volunteer before I even think about it.
"Really?" Harry, Rae, and Louis say at once.
"It is best if I go. Louis can't leave the twins, McKenna doesn't know Niall, and you two have a flight to catch in a few hours. Who knows how long Niall will be at the hospital for." And I won't be able to do anything until I know that Niall is okay, but they don't need to know that.
"In that case, follow me miss." The young guy who is standing with my group of friends say.
I nod at him and as he walks away I look at my friends and wave goodbye. Harry has concern written all over his face, while Louis has an evil smirk on his face. I ignore the both of them and walk away. I follow close behind the man as he leads me through the stadium. He turns left down some small hallway and then pulls out a huge set of keys. He picks out a key and then unlocks the door.
As soon as he opens the door we hear someone yell "fuck!"
I immediately know that its Niall. I start to regret my decision to be the one to go with Niall to the hospital. I don't know how I can possibly help him or comfort him.
"Hey Niall, your friend is here to accompany you to the hospital." The guy says nervously. He turns and glances at me. He quickly mumbles a "good luck."
"Thanks," I smile at the guy. He moves out of the way and I see Niall. Niall is laying on a bed that you see at doctor offices and at hospitals. He has huge packs of ice wrapped around his knee. "If you want Louis or Harry to go with you I can go grab one of them."
"No, I was hoping you would be the one to come with me." Niall gives me a small smile.
I walk further into the room and ask, "do you know what's wrong?"
"They are pretty sure that I tore my ACL." Niall answers bitterly. I bite my lip from the fact that this could end his career. "There is a chair right here if you want to sit."
How can Niall be thinking about me in a time like this? I can't imagine the type of pain he is in. I come and sit in the chair that is dangerously close to where Niall is laying. When I sit down my shoulder brushes his arm. I try to ignore the usual butterflies I feel when we barely touch.
"How are you feeling?" As soon as the words leave my mouth I feel stupid. "I know you are in pain. I just mean- I don't know, nevermind."
"I'm pissed." Niall blatantly says. I look over at him surprised that he knew what I meant. "That guy had been playing dirty the whole time. The refs saw it and they ignored it." I watch as Niall brings his fist up and then slam it into the bed. I jump at the sudden action. "I want to punch that guy in the face repeatedly."
"That's understandable." I try to fight back a smile.
"What is so funny?" Niall looks at me.
"You are the least violent person I know." Niall couldn't hurt a fly.
"I guess Brett didn't tell you about the fight we had." Niall turns his body slightly more towards mine. I shake my head no at Niall's comment so he will continue. "I came back to campus after Christmas to pack all my stuff and to send it to London. I was going to come see you, but Brett intervened. A few punches were thrown from both of us. He was pissed and had every right to be. Instead of coming to see you I went straight to the airport." Niall let's out a laugh and I jump in surprise. "He probably saved me from rejection."
No, if anything Brett saved me from looking like a fool. I was no where near able to see Niall. I probably would have ended up crying and begging Niall to take me back. Brett knew that and saved me. I need to call him and thank him for looking out for me.
"Who knows," I shrug my shoulders.
Before either of us can mutter a single word the athletic trainer walks into the room. I smile at him gratefully and turn my attention to him.
"Alright Niall, do you think you can walk or do you want to be carried on a stretcher?" The athletic trainer asks.
"I can walk." Niall says while sitting up. I jump out of my seat and anxiously stand next to where Niall is sitting. He scoots off the bed, stands up straight, and tries to take a step forward. He winces and his arm instinctively grabs onto my shoulder. I step closer to him, so he can lean on me. I hesitate, but wrap my arm around his waist. "Jess is strong, but we might need some help."
The athletic trainer nods his head in understanding. He walks to Niall's other side and wraps his arm over mine and onto Niall's side. Niall brings his arm up to the trainer's shoulder and we walk forward. I can't stop myself from noticing that Niall reached out to me first. He knew I wouldn't be able to catch him from falling, but he still turned to me first. I jumped at the chance to be the one to take care of him. How am I supposed to feel about this?
With my confusing thoughts I walk slowly forward with Niall extremely close. The trainer and Niall talk while we walk up the small hallway. The trainer leads us forward to a door. The door opens and it leads to outside. I see the ambulance waiting.
"Why does Niall need to take an ambulance if he can walk?" I ask a little confused.
"Protocol." The trainer answers.
Niall leans down and whispers, "liability."
I look up at Niall and laugh. This might be the protocol, but it has to be for liability. If Niall were to drive himself to the hospital and then cause a car accident, he could easily sue the coaches and trainers.
The EMTs walk over to us and take my spot and the trainer's spot. They carefully help Niall into the ambulance. I get a good look at the EMTs. I'm surprised at how tall and muscular they both are. Why don't the EMTs look like this in America? Seriously, these two guys nail the tall, dark, and handsome. I look over at Niall and smile. He may not be as tall as these guys or dark, but he is still better looking.
Once he is inside one of the EMTs looks over at me. I know that this is my cue to climb inside. I walk closer and as I take a step up the EMT reaches his hand out to help me. I take it to steady myself as I step up. As I get inside I look up at Niall and he is glaring at my hand that is resting in the EMT's hand. I roll my eyes, but remove my hand.
"Where should I sit? I don't want to be in the way." I ask trying to figure out where to sit down.
"Anywhere you want. There is nothing we can go for an injured knee." The EMT explains.
I decide to sit on Niall's left side. After I sit down I see that my knees keep brushing into Niall's arm. I turn my body and this causes Niall to rest his arm on my leg. I look over at Niall and he lays flat on the stretcher somewhat relaxed. He is obviously in pain, but is completely okay with us touching. It is killing me to be this close and touching. I stare at Niall and my thoughts change as soon as the car goes over a bump. Niall groans in pain and his hand grips my thigh. I nervously look at the EMT.
"How much longer?" We hit another bump in the road. "Can't you give him something for the pain?"
"We will be there soon." Is all the EMT says. I'm not satisfied with the EMT's answer at all. My face must show that, because the EMT starts talking more. "The hospital is only three minutes away. We could give your-" the EMT pauses and glances down at my left hand. "Boyfriend some pain meds, but the hospital has more powerful stuff."
"Oh okay." I sit here surprised. I guess I shouldn't be surprised that this guy thinks Niall and I are dating. With how we are sitting it definitely looks like we are dating. "We aren't dating. Niall and I are friends."
"You are an awesome friend to come sit at a hospital for who knows how long." The EMT gives me a charming smile.
This for some reason makes me feel sick to my stomach. I turn to look at Niall to find him glaring at me. I don't blame him. Even if we do become friends I'm sure he doesn't want to see guys flirting with me. I sure as hell don't want to see girls flirting with Niall. I give Niall a small smile.
"How are you feeling?" I ask, hoping to lighten the mood.
"I'm feeling a little sick," Niall complains.
I turn to look out the window and see the hospital up the road. I turn back around to face Niall.
"I see the hospital. Hang on." I smile again at Niall and then look down.
I never thought that a seven minute ambulance ride could be awkward, but here we are. When we reach the hospital the EMT informs us that they will have to carry Niall on the stretcher. Niall tries to fight it, but eventually he gives in. I walk behind them and follow them to an empty ER bed. A nurse walks up and the EMTs explain what is going on.
I watch the nurse as she smiles at the EMTs. She is a pretty girl, but there is nothing special about her. Her brown hair is up in a messy bun. She looks like she has been working since yesterday. She probably has a stressful job, so maybe that's why she looks so tired. The EMTs look over and wave goodbye to Niall and I and then leave. The nurse turns towards us with a huge smile.
"Hello, my name is Becca and I will be your nurse for today. I am just going to take your vitals and your history. After that a doctor will be with you." Becca informs us as she walks over to Niall's left side. I stand there quietly as Becca and Niall talk. When Becca is finished taking Niall's vitals she looks over at me. "You can sit down if you would like."
I look over at the chair that is close to the hospital bed. I don't want to stand the entire time, but I have been close enough to Niall. However, Niall looks pretty distracted with all of Becca's questions. I guess it wouldn't hurt to sit down. I focus on the chair as I walk over trying not to make any sound. I sit down and not even two seconds later Niall is resting his hand on my thigh. I look over at Niall to say something, but I see Becca unwrapping the ice packs off Niall's knee. Niall looks like it is painful, so I will let him keep his hand on me.
"It looks likes I got everything I need, so I will let the doctor know that you are ready for him." Becca smiles at both of us and then turns and leaves.
I look around the crowded ER as different hospital employees hurriedly walk around the place. I look at a hallway and see a doctor walking straight towards Niall's bed.
He passes Becca and says, "Becca come with me." She obediently nods her head and follows the doctor. He walks right up to us and greets us with a big smile. "Niall Horan! It is great, but also not great that you are in my ER. I'm happy to meet ya, but not in this manner. I'm doctor Neilson and I will be helping you out today." Dr. Neilson talks a breath and then starts talking again. "From Becca's notes it looks like we are looking at a torn ACL. Let's get an MRI and Becca," Dr. Neilson turns to look at Becca. "Let's get Mr. Horan into a private room. We don't need people staring at him."
"Got it. I will go get that taken care of right now. I will be right back." Becca scurries away.
"Alright Niall, how much pain are you in? Scale of one to ten. One being nothing and ten being dying of pain." Dr. Neilson looks at Niall.
"Like a three." Niall answers with no hesitation.
"Niall, you don't have to act tough for your girl. Just tell me your pain so I can get you the correct dosage of pain meds." Dr. Neilson laughs at Niall.
"Fine, its like a seven. Give me the pain meds." Niall stubbornly says. "I wasn't trying to act tough. I just don't want to act loopy."
Dr. Neilson smirks as he types something into a tablet looking thing. When he is finished he looks back up at Niall.
"I got a order in for some pain meds and for you to get an MRI. Becca will be back over soon to get you into a room and then get you an IV with pain meds." Dr. Neilson turns towards me. "If you need anything just ask. I will see you both in a little bit."
I try to ignore the fact that Dr. Neilson called me Niall's girl. I can't help, but notice that Niall didn't try to correct him. Niall is probably so worried about his knee and in so much pain that he isn't thinking about any of that. Here I am stressing out about it. I need to stop being so self centered and focus on what Niall needs.
"Can I get you anything or do anything for you?" I ask Niall.
"You just being here is what I need." Niall says as he closes his eyes.
We sit in silence for only a few minutes. Becca comes walking back over to us pushing a wheelchair. She still has a huge smile on her face.
"Shall we get you into a private room where there are pain meds waiting for you?" As Becca asks, Niall eagerly nods his head yes. "Let's get you off this bed and into the chair."
I stand up and cautiously wait as Niall gets off the bed. Becca helps him into the chair. Becca pushes Niall in the chair and they lead the way. We don't have to go far before we get to the private rooms. As we enter the room I notice the comfortable couch and a few chairs around the hospital bed. There is also a good sized TV. I'm sure Niall will turn it on and try to find the score of his game.
"Do you need to use the bathroom before you get into bed?" Becca asks.
"No, I'm good for now." Niall smiles at her. "If I need to go I will just make this one help me."
Who? Is he talking about me, because I am not helping him go to the bathroom. I mean I can help him get to the bathroom, but I'm not standing in there with him.
Becca laughs and says, "alright, let's get your IV going. You get this gown on while I go grab some things."
Becca hands Niall the gown that was sitting on the bed. She then leaves without another word.
"I know this is weird, but can you help me?" Niall nervously asks me. "I just need help standing up and bending down."
"Sure." I try to sound casual, but I think I failed. I walk over to Niall and grab both his hands to help him stand up. "Wait." I bend over and lift the feet part up on the wheelchair. I grab the gown and wait for Niall to take off his shirt. He seems to understand what I'm waiting for and quickly takes his shirt off. I glance down at Niall's torso and my eyes widen in surprise. Niall has a six pack. He definitely did not have that in college. I force my eyes up when Niall starts to pull down his shorts. "Just tell me when you need me to pull them off rest of the way."
I hate that all I can think about right now is that Niall is basically just in boxers. Niall has aged really well and it's hard not to notice. Part of me just wants to jump on him. The only thing that is stopping me is his hurt knee. My hormones don't care that this is the same Niall that broke my heart. All they care about is the sexy man in front of me and the lack of orgasms I have had in the last month and a half.
"Okay, I just need you to pull my shorts off my ankles." Niall says in a tone that I don't recognize.
I look up at Niall and catch him smirking. Great, he notices how turned on I am. This isn't my fault. He should know better than anyone that I am basically a horny teenage boy. He is asking me to help him undress. This is the most action I have ever gotten from him. Why do I keep putting myself in this situation with Niall?
"Here we go," I mumble.
I bend down and softly pull Niall's shorts off the ground. As I do this Niall slips on the gown. He ties up the side and I make sure that his boxers won't show from the back.
Becca comes back in with a handful of supplies. She helps Niall over and into the bed. She walks over to Niall's left side and gets to work. I go to sit down on the couch, but Niall stops me.
"Uh Jess, will you come sit by me? You remember how much I hate needles?" Niall looks at me with pleading eyes.
"How could I forget?" I walk over and sit next to Niall. He instantly grabs my hand and looks at me. I look over at Becca and see her bringing the needle up to Niall's arm. I look back up at Niall and smile. Niall tightens his grip and that lets me know that Becca is inserting the needle. I decide that I should distract him. "So Louis is hitting it off with my assistant."
"Is that who the extra ticket was for?" Niall relaxes as we talk.
"Yes. Sorry to just spring that on you. I just want those two to get together so bad." I laugh at how desperate I sound.
"That would be good for Louis. He needs someone." Niall smiles at me.
"You should be feeling better in a few minutes." Becca says interrupting us. "Someone will be in here soon to get you for the MRI. In the meantime can I get you guys anything to drink or eat?"
"Can we get some waters and I will eat anything that you bring." Niall answers for the both of us.
"I will see what I can round up." Becca laughs as she leaves the room.
"You can watch TV or something. I am going to try and sleep." Niall tells me as he closes his eyes.
I'm surprised when he let's go of my hand. I'm surprised by my disappointment and that he moved his hand on his own. I didn't have to ask him. I was starting to worry that he was getting a crazy idea, but he must have just needed the comfort while in pain. He has shut his eyes so the pain killers must be working.
I pull out my phone to text Rae. I just send a quick text telling her about us waiting for an MRI. Becca enters the room with two waters and a handful of bags of chips and cookies. I set my phone down as she hands me one of the waters. She sets the other water and food on the table next to Niall's bed.
She smiles at me and whispers, "radiology is backed up right now. It might be an hour before we can get Niall back there."
"Okay. He is sleeping right now, so the waiting is fine." I smile at her as she leaves.
I play with my phone for about a half hour before I start to get bored. I set my phone down and look at Niall. He looks so peaceful and thankfully not in any pain. As if Niall knows that I am looking at him he opens his eyes.
"Have you been staring at me this whole time?" Niall asks while still sounding sleepy.
"No!" I laugh nervously. "I just barely looked over at you."
"Right." Niall looks at me skeptically, but then laughs. "So I have been thinking about the whole us being friends thing."
"Do you really want to talk about this now?" What is he going to say?
"I love you, no, I am so in love with you that I can't just be friends." Niall blurts out. "Would it be lame if I quoted the Backstreet Boys right now?"
"You are so high off of these pain killers you have no idea what you are talking about." I roll my eyes at Niall's drugged up state.
"I've loved you forever in lifetimes before. And I promise you never will you hurt anymore. I give you my word. I give you my heart. This is a battle we've won and with this vow forever has now begun." Niall gives me a dopey smile.
"Wait, that's 'N SYNC's song." I tell Niall while I let out a little laugh.
Niall grabs my hand and says, "Jess, be serious."
"If you weren't high on pain meds I would be serious, but you aren't going to remember this conversation in a few hours." This conversation is not going in the direction I thought it would.
"I don't understand how you think we can possibly be friends after everything we have been through. I need more than just friends. I need you." Niall looks at me intensely.
"Well I don't understand how you think that we can be more than friends after everything we have been through." I cross my arms in frustration. "You were right about becoming loopy."
Niall sighs in frustration, but a guy in scrubs knocks on the door and walks in.
"I'm here to take Niall in for his MRI." The guy smiles at Niall and then at me. He obviously heard Niall and I.
I stay seated in my chair as they leave. I pull out my phone and call Rae. After two rings she answers the phone. She cheerfully says hello. I cut her off and start talking.
"So apparently Niall is still in love with me." I say very grouchy.
"I know."
"What do you mean that you know?" I start to feel mad at Rae.
"He told me that after he saw you at your book signing." Rae laughs at me. "Now, how do you feel about it?"
"I can't decide if I should punch him in the face or have babies with him." I let out a frustrated huff.
"Jess," Rae laughs more. "You just need to take a step back and think. Do you still love him?"
"I can't figure that out right now. I have been so worried about him that my thoughts are all over the place." Why does everyone want to talk about how I feel? I'm not going around asking everyone about their feelings.
"Where is Niall right now?" Rae asks.
"Getting an MRI."
"Why don't you take this time to figure out your feelings. Okay? Okay! Talk to you later!" Rae hangs up before I can answer.
Instead of doing what Rae says to do, I turn on the TV. I flip through the channels until I find some cooking show that looks interesting. I push all of my thoughts to the side and watch as six people run around decorating cakes.
***