> continue: iteration 28, day 7, night
"Finally!" Rin erupts. "Where the hell have you been?!"
"Watching out for Saber. As per your orders, Master." Archer flicks his thumb at the other Servant. "By the way -- Saber's here."
Rin's verbal response can't really be characterized as words. She gets the overall message across, though, by flipping him off at the end. You know, I'm kinda getting the sense there's been a breakdown in their working relationship...
"But enough of that." Archer stands up straight and points his knife at Gilgamesh. "Last time I checked, it's seven Servants per Grail War, not seven and a hanger-on."
"Oh?" Gilgamesh narrows his eyes. "Do I offend your pride, mongrel?"
"Seems to me there's only room for one Archer in this town." The man in the red coat cracks his neck. "Settling that seems interesting enough. Trust me. I wouldn't be here otherwise."
"... bullshit," I croak from the floor.
> talking right now's not the best idea here dude
Eh, blame the blood loss. Besides, snarking with my dying breath... feels kinda right, y'know? Feels like me. Heh... cross that one off the bucket list, I guess...
> ...
> i have never been prouder of you than i am at this moment
"Ex-fucking-cuse you?!" Archer raises an eyebrow.
"You... couldn't resist the whole Batman warehouse entrance... could you?" I cough. Feelin' pretty lightheaded now. "I fuckin' saw that cape action, dude..."
Archer sighs and glances at Gilgamesh. "One second." He jumps down off the table, puts his hand on my... well... stump, and -- OW FUCK AAAAGHHHGHGH HURTS FUCKING HURTS SHIT FUCK GUHUHUHUHUH --
> oooh
"Saber -- catch." Archer picks me up off the floor and lobs me through the air like a sack of potatoes. Saber somehow manages to snag me out of the air with both arms, in spite of her own injuries. I can feel my back pressing down on the pike that's sticking out of her gut.
Archer takes out his knife again and turns back to Gilgamesh. "Anyway -- where were we?"
"I believe you were about to challenge me." Gilgamesh sneers down at him. Wait -- now he's standing on top of the table. Oh, God. It actually bothered him that Archer was higher up than him, doesn't it? How petty can this guy get? "Do you honestly think you have what it takes, cur?"
"Let's find out," Archer says. "I am the bone of my sword."
The wind inside the room picks up. Azure energy swirls around him.
Wait. Did he just say the bone of his sword? That makes no sense.
> it's poetry
> it doesn't have to make sense as long as it sounds cool
Yeah, well, still... why not blade of my sword? Swords don't have bones. That's just confusing, you know?
> bluh
> you are such an engineer
He's saying some other stuff now too... some bit about death and life. Energy keeps building. Lightning flashes around him. "Have withstood pain to create many weapons." Okay, one, emo much? Two, that's just repetitive. He already said that he's made tons of swords. We get it, dude. You're hardcore into blacksmithing. You're smithcore.
> give it a rest will you
"So as I pray..." Archer raises his arm towards Gilgamesh, blade in hand. "Unlimited Blade Works!"
And with that, the two of them vanish. Poof. Gone. No more blue energy. A second or two passes. One of the golems awkwardly shifts its feet.
> enough about that
> what's happening with you
Oh, Saber set me down on the floor. She's holding her hand over me, there's this weird light coming from it... guess this is what her version of lay on hands looks like. My arm...
Huh... arm's not bleeding anymore. Guess that was Archer?... think he might've healed up the stump before he threw me to Saber. Oh, fuck, that feels so weird. And here I thought I had it bad with the tooth...
"That son of a bitch," Rin fumes. She comes to us and starts checking me over. Huh. Two beautiful women fussing over me... that's a new one. High point of my life, probably. "I knew he was holding out on me. Fucking called it."
"Called what?" Shirou asks. He plops down next to us wearily, still bleeding all over the place. Guy just has to keep making it look easy, doesn't he?
Anyway, I guess whatever command Gilgamesh gave to the golems earlier is keeping them off our backs for the moment. They're just standing there, silently, weapons in hand. Watching us. Wonder what they'd do if we tried to leave. Not like we're in any state to do so right now, of course.
"Archer's got a Reality Marble." Rin harrumphs. "But he's all nooooo, that's just crazy talk, Rin. Stop being so crazy. Gaslighting prick..."
"If you don't mind," Saber says in a strangled tone. "Would one of you mind telling me... is this... sticking out of my back?" She gestures towards the pike.
"Oh, uh..." Rin looks. "Yeah. It's... definitely doing that."
"What does the spearhead look like?"
Rin tilts her head. "Um... pointy? Sharp? And there's this kind of barb thing at the end..."
"Which way... is the barb curved? Towards the point or towards my back?"
"Your back."
Saber nods. "That's what I thought..." She takes a deep breath.
Shirou catches on. He reaches out for her. "Saber, wait --"
Too late. Saber grabs the pike and, with a grunt, pushes the shaft the rest of the way through her own stomach.
"Jesus Christ!" Rin stumbles back onto her hands, her eyes wide.
Saber swallows. "Pull... pull th'..."
Shirou rushes over and pulls the spear the rest of the way out of Saber's back. The sound is... um. Interesting.
> speaking of sounds
> you've been pretty quiet this whole time
Yeah, I... um... don't think I can talk. Or move at all, really. Kinda amazed I'm still conscious, honestly.
> you've lost a lot of blood
> hang in there okay
Don't really have much choice, right? But anyway. Saber doubles over as Rin goes back to her side. "'m fine," she mumbles. "I'll be fine. Just... give me a moment..." I can see a blue glow beneath her hands as she clutches the wound.
She's barely made a sound this entire time. Christ. What a badass.
> don't go comparing yourself to her
No worries about that. Still... just a little reminder I'm hanging out with genuine superhumans these days, you know?
Saber stares out into space. "... I'm sorry," she says after a moment. "I didn't mean for things to turn out this way."
"Well, yeah," Rin snorts. "No doy, Captain Obvious."
"Saber." Shirou tilts his head. "Why did you come here?"
"This was my battle to finish." Saber looks up at the ceiling. "The King of Heroes... he doesn't belong here. The world has changed since his time, but he refuses to acknowledge it. And if he's had ten years to work here... all because I couldn't finish him when I had the chance..." One of her hands curls into a fist.
"But don't you remember?" Shirou shifts a little closer. "We promised each other last week, didn't we? Your battles are my battles. From now until the end. Doesn't matter if it started before we met."
Saber opens her mouth, then closes it.
"Oh my God..." Rin groans and hides her face. "You two are so corny..."
"Shirou..." Saber hesitates. "There's... something you should know..."
There's a flash of lightning. Archer gets tossed back onto the dance floor, where he lands with a groan. He has a sizeable longsword stuck in his shoulder.
"Interesting." Gilgamesh stands in the VIP section, breathing hard. He actually looks kinda banged up. A bunch of cuts and bruises on his face, some flesh wounds on his arms. Whatever Archer just did, it's the first thing I've seen deal any damage to this joker. "Not bad... for a faker. But you lack conviction. In the end, you're just a cheap knockoff like all the rest."
"Yeah..." Archer looks back towards the group. "That... kinda would've been a great time to run away, guys..."
"Now... where were we?" Gilgamesh raises his hand...
... and nothing happens.
Gilgamesh blinks. He snaps his fingers. Still nothing. I see two of the golems exchange a confused glance.
"Oh, dear," a new voice purrs. "Performance issues, King of Heroes?"
I hear the sound of heels clicking across the dance floor. Huh. It's Lavender Woman.
"Caster," Saber says. Her face suggests that this is the opposite of a good thing.
> enter the witch
The woman smirks. Her dress changes colors to a deeper shade of purple. A large cloak materializes around her. Her features shift slightly, including...
... okay, hold up. Are those fucking elf ears?
"I should thank you all for a most entertaining night." Caster drains the rest of the martini glass in her hand and tosses it aside. She sidesteps Saber's abandoned bike and stands in the middle of the dance floor. "Especially you, Archer. That parlor trick of yours bought me just enough time to set up a Bounded Field even the famed Gate of Babylon can't pierce."
On cue, a number of glowing purple seals appear on the ceiling and the walls. Some kind of force field shimmers over the breach next to the DJ booth.
Gilgamesh looks at Caster like she's something he scraped off his shoe. "Impudent witch," he growls.
"Sticks and stones, son of Ninsun." Caster's lips twist into a jeering grimace. "Well? Go on. Set your little tin soldiers on me."
He sneers and barks a single word. All at once, the golems charge her from all sides. Like a solid wall of metal --
She lifts her finger. "Stop."
The golems freeze in place. Every single one. Kitten -- who nearly made it within arm's reach of Caster -- quivers a little, but otherwise doesn't move.
Caster laughs. "Didn't anyone tell you? I ran into one of these... items a very long time ago." She runs a finger beneath Kitten's jaw. "Quite vulnerable to charms and enchantments, aren't they? No matter how resilient the soul used."
Gilgamesh just grinds his teeth and seeths. He looks genuinely stumped. Okay, I know we're kinda boned here, but this is still the best thing I've seen all day. Which is saying something.
> can't argue with that
"Now, I must admit I'm quite curious as to how you obtained that physical form of yours," Caster says. "But as you don't seem to be in much of a mood to reveal that secret... I'll just have to learn what I can from your corpse." She mockingly curtsies. "I thank you again for your hospitality... little king."
In a single motion, Gilgamesh seizes a spear out of the hand of a nearby golem and hurls it at her. She vanishes into thin air before it reaches her with a laugh. I feel a sudden rush of air over my face and shift my eyes. Caster's behind Saber now, her arms wrapped around her. The swordswoman opens her mouth in surprise. But before she can react, Caster's cloak envelops them both. They disappear.
In their place hangs a large tangle of purple energy, crackling with energy. Ooh. That doesn't look good.
Gilgamesh snatches a half-empty wine bottle off of his table and sullenly chugs it. Archer just closes his eyes. "Oh, balls," Rin mumbles. She leaps at Shirou and hugs him, much to his shock.
The tangle shrinks to a point, then explodes.
***
> restart: iteration 29, day 1, early night
...
... hand's back. Same for the tooth. Both feel weird, though. The hand's all itchy, in a way that doesn't seem to have anything to do with the actual skin. Can you get phantom limb syndrome when you're not actually missing the limb? Is that a thing?
> idk
Anyway. So... that sucked. Let's not do any of that again.
> deal
I hold my hand up to my face and study it under the bedroom light. So that's Caster, huh? Yet another gorgeous psychopath. Just what the situation really needs. And somehow she knows a way to counter Tracksuit Bro. Then there's Archer's thing. Not to mention that memory I got out of Gilgamesh's head. The questions just seem to keep on piling up, don't they?
> that's usually what they do
True. So... what's next?