Finn and Puck waited nervously at their table, their eyes glued to the girls dancing on the floor.
“Do you notice how nobody cares that they're dancing with each other but when we did it, we got loads of dirty looks?” Puck pointed out. If he didn't hate dancing so much, he would have pulled Finn back onto the floor so they could rub some noses in it.
“Yeah, it's going into the article,” Finn agreed. He squinted at the crowd as Rachel and Quinn disappeared from sight.
“So, how do we do this?” Puck asked.
“Um, I’m just going to ask Rachel to take a walk with me and then tell her.”
“Wait, we're not doing this together?” Puck asked, feeling a little panicked. He didn't think Quinn would believe him if Finn wasn't there to confirm his story.
Finn shook his head. “No way.” He'd been thinking as he watched Rachel dancing. Now was the perfect time to let her know how he felt. He could tell her about the article and all about how he came to be pretending he was gay, apologize for lying and then segue-way into letting her know about his feelings. It was perfect. And he really didn't want Puck around Quinn around for that.
They perked up as Quinn approached, but noticed that Rachel wasn't with her. Instead she was chatting happily to a young man about their age. Finn felt his hands clench. “We're telling them right away,” he said in a low voice. No way was he standing by and watching some other guy move in on his Woman.
Quinn smiled when she spotted them. “Guys, this is my friend Gregar. He wanted to meet you. Gregar, this is Finn and Puck, who I was telling you about.” She gave them a little wave and disappeared again.
“Wait,” Puck called after her, but she was already gone.
“You two are so gorge,” Gregar said in the campest tone Finn had ever heard anybody speak. “Which one of you is Puck?”
Puck raised his hand uncertainly.
He was shocked when Gregar suddenly slapped him, them tutted and wagged his finger in his face. “Bad boy. Don't play in the pussy playground unless you mean it. The girls aren't like us.”
Puck was too shocked to react.
“So, um, Gregory,” Finn said.
“It's Gregar, as in gregarious,” Gregar said. He rolled his eyes. “My daddy had no imagination. He called my Greg but I changed it when I left Hicksville and moved to Boston. Gregar symbolizes the caterpillar leaving the cocoon and emerging a fabulous, fierce butterfly.” He snapped his fingers for emphasis.
“Right, Gregar... uh... you wanted to meet us?” Finn prompted.
“Well, I wanted to meet the boy who broke Quinn's heart, plus she said you two were gorgeous. And she's right, you two are extra dreamy delicious.” He grabbed a chair and moved it right beside Puck then sat down so he was practically on Puck's lap. “Especially you. You are simply yummy.”
Puck coughed uncomfortably and tried to move his chair away. Gregar shimmied closer. “I could just lick you all up. You know, Quinn told me that you have a very talented tongue. So do I.” Then he stuck out his tongue and waggled it provocatively in Puck's face.
“Uh...” Puck stared at the man in horror with no idea how to react. He looked to Finn for help. “Um... dude, my boyfriend is right here. Do you mind?”
“Yeah, back off,” Finn said, coming to his friend's rescue.
Gregar pouted. “You two don't like to share? That's very disappointing! I’m going to report you to the Queen for not sharing.”
Finn blinked in confusion, not knowing if Gregar was being serious or not. “OK.”
“Whatever,” Puck said, pushing the man away.
“You two are no fun”, Gregar sulked. “I'm going to find somebody else to play with.” He stood up, but before he left, he turned back to Puck and leaned down to whisper in his ear. “If you change your mind, I give the best head you'll ever have.” He slipped his business card in Puck's breast pocket then kissed his lips. “See you, bitches.”
He flounced off, leaving two very outraged men behind.
Gregar rounded a pillar and out of sight, where Quinn and Rachel were waiting for him. Quinn held up her hand and he high-fived her.
“Greg, I heart you so badly that if you weren't gay, I'd totally throw you one,” Quinn laughed.
“Thanks hon,” Greg said, his voice normal now.
“So?” Quinn asked.
“Completely, one-hundred percent straight,” he confirmed. “Both of them. Didn't even make a blip on my bi-dar.”
“See,” Quinn said triumphantly to Rachel. “Greg has the best gaydar of anybody I know.”
“Fine, they're not gay. But if they're pretending they are, we should respect that and let them do whatever it is they're doing and not try to torture them.”
“I knew I should have gone with plan A,” Quinn said under her breath.
“What was plan A?” Rachel asked.
“Get you drunk and then convince you tell to Finn that you are in love with him,” Quinn admitted.
Rachel squawked in outrage. “Quinn! Well, I’m glad that you didn't do that.”
“Me too. Torturing Puck is way more fun. But, fine, I'll lay off Finn.”
“I'm going to leave you two. The finger food won't plate up itself,” Greg told them. “Enjoy the rest of the night, you lucky girls. Oh, have a cocktail, they're delicious.”
“Thanks, Greg,” Quinn said, hugging him.
He returned the hug. “I hope you get him back sweetie.”
“I don't want him back,” Quinn protested at his departing back. “I want to get back at him.”
Rachel smirked.
“I do,” Quinn insisted. “He's a jerk and I hate him and I just want to get him back. Get back at him. Dammit.”
Rachel laughed and dragged Quinn back to where Finn and Puck were sitting.
A waiter appeared at the table just as they sat down, he was carrying a tray of fruity pink cocktails. “Brokuko?”
“Say what now?” Quinn asked, already accepting one of the drinks.
“It's a cocktail created in honor of Brody and Ikuko's marriage,” the waiter explained. “They were created especially for the couple. They're delicious.”
“I think that's a very unfortunate name but they are delicious,” Quinn exclaimed. She gestured for him to leave one for everybody at the table.
Finn and Rachel looked at each other, daring the other to go first, before they both each took a sip.
“Mmm, that's really lovely,” Rachel said. Then she coughed. “Packs quite a punch.”
“Drink up, Puck,” Quinn goaded.
He took a drink. Mainly because he was too lazy to go find the bar and he needed alcohol in him, STAT.
Finn took another drink to help calm his nerves. “So, Rachel... I was wondering if we could-”
The music changed to an up-tempo song, eliciting squeals of joy from the two girls. They immediately jumped up and dragged the guys to their feet and cocktails in hand led them out onto the floor.
Rachel and Quinn immediately began to dance wildly and enthusiastically with each other. Finn and Puck shuffled uncomfortably along side them. Finn loosened up as he drank more of the cocktail but Puck remained awkward and rhythmically challenged. After a few minutes, Quinn pushed Rachel towards Finn and danced on her own for a while until she was sure that Finn and Rachel were once again lost in each other and it was safe to leave them alone.
“C'mon, Puckerman, I need your help with something,” she told him.
Delighted to have any excuse to get off the dance floor, Puck allowed her to pull him by the hand.
She led him away from the party and into the house, down a corridor, up a plushly carpeted stairs and down another long corridor.
“This house goes on forever,” Puck grumbled.
Quinn laughed and pushed open the door to a large bedroom. “Ooh, the maids have been by and tidied up. I love maids.”
Puck swallowed nervously. “This is your room?” he guessed.
“Just for this week,” Quinn told him. “But the Weston's are going to have to physically kick me out because I've become totally spoiled here. I want them to adopt me.”
She crossed over to the closet and pulled out a black party dress. It was similar in style to the one she was already wearing, but shorter and lighter. She held it up against her body. “What do you think?”
“Uh, nice,” Puck shrugged.
Quinn tossed the new dress on the bed, then turned her back to Puck and lifted up her hair. “Can you help me out of the dress please?”
Puck stared at her in shock for a minute. “Huh?”
She glanced at him over her shoulder. “I want to change my dress into something a little more comfortable. Can you help me out of this one, please?”
“Me? Shouldn't you have asked Rachel... or one of the bridesmaids?”
Quinn waved her hand dismissively. “Rachel was enjoying the party and you weren't. Just undo the buttons. It's OK, Puck, you've seen it all before, nothing's changed. Besides, you're gay now so it doesn't matter.”
“Yeah, about that...”
“Can you undo the buttons, I want to get back to the party.” She smiled. “Oh this is so great. I’m so glad that I ran into you this weekend because now I'll have a GBF when I go to New York. A girl's got to have a GBF.”
“GBF?”
“Gay best friend,” Quinn smiled. “It'll be so cool. We can go shopping, and go to Broadway shows together. And I can talk to you about boys. It will be good to have somebody I can talk to about men. Rachel only ever wants to talk about the emotional side of it. I need somebody I can talk about the juicy, dirty stuff with.”
That sounded like Puck's idea of hell. He did not want to hear about Quinn's sex life, unless it involved him. He really wanted it to involve him. “Quinn, listen.”
“Seriously, can you help me out of this dress?” Quinn cut in. “My boobs are so squashed.” She turned her back to him again and waited expectantly.
Puck stepped closer and started unbuttoning. The buttons were tiny and hard to distinguish so he struggled to get them undone.
“It didn't used to take you this long to get me undressed,” Quinn said with a laugh as he slowly worked on button number three. “I guess you're out of practice.”
“Mmhmm,” Puck agreed, concentrating on the buttons. With each button, more and more of Quinn's skin was being revealed. He couldn't help but brush against it and it was bringing back a lot of memories, and that old familiar lust Quinn always inspired in him.
“That's OK,” Quinn said suddenly and pulled away from him abruptly. “I can do the rest.” She undid the last few buttons and pushed the dress down to the floor.
Puck gulped at the sight of Quinn in just her underwear. Her very sexy underwear. He groaned at the realization that she'd been wearing it all day under her dress. He clenched his fists at his side. It was becoming very hard to not touch her. He turned away to give her some privacy as she dressed.
Quinn had other ideas however. She wanted to torture him as much as possible and she knew the effect sexy lingerie had on Puck's libido.
So she sashayed into his eye line, trying not to show her nerves. Why was she even nervous? He didn't mean anything to her. She stood in front of Puck with her hands on her hips. “Do you think I should let my hair down?”
Puck did a ninety degree turn so he wasn't looking at her. “Jesus, I don't know Quinn. Whatever you think is best.”
Again Quinn positioned herself in front of him. “I think I’ll leave it down. You used to like it down.”
Puck looked skyward, praying for patience and wisdom. “Quinn...”
Quinn unclipped her hair and shook it loose so it tumbled around her shoulders. Puck groaned. So much for praying.
“Is this better?” She asked.
“Um, you look great,” he nodded. His eyes were trained on the bed over her shoulder instead of at her scantily clad body. Not that looking at her bed helped any.
“Puck!” Quinn protested. “You can do better than that. Queer eye me.”
“What?”
“Give me your best gaypinion, how do I look?” Quinn demanded.
“I'm not gay!” Puck blurted out. He just wasn't able to hold it in any longer.
Quinn laughed and punched his arm playfully. “You're such a joker. Of course you are. Honestly, Puck.”
“Honestly, Quinn. I’m one hundred percent straight. Finn is writing an article about being gay and I’m helping him out. I’m straight. And you of all people should know that.”
“Why? Because we used to fuck?” Quinn asked, raising a challenging eyebrow. “Reminding me how crap you were in bed is hardly a convincing argument of your straightness.
Puck took a step back as though she'd slapped him. “No, you did not just say that.”
“What? You're gay, it shouldn't come as any surprise that you're not very good at satisfying a woman.”
“OK, firstly, I. Am. Not. Gay. And secondly, that's a bunch of crap. I was amazing. You fucking loved it.”
“Pshaw,” Quinn tutted. She took a step back from Puck and wished that she'd never started this because she was feeling on the back foot now. “You were OK for a gay guy, I guess.”
“Don't push me,” Puck said through gritted teeth. His eyes flashed dangerously and he stepped closer to her so that she could feel the heat from his body. “If you want proof that I’m straight, I’ll prove it.”
Quinn swallowed. Her traitorous body was going haywire with lust and desire. She met his eyes and the words came out of her mouth of their own accord. “Prove it.”
Puck grabbed her and crushed her body against his own, his lips captured hers with an almost bruising force and they tumbled onto the bed.
It didn't take very long until they were both naked and he was inside her. And then there was absolutely no question about Puck's sexuality. Or his ability to satisfy a woman in bed.