"Nasaan na si Kelsey?!"
All of our classmates were silent. Ni hindi makatitig sa mga mata ni Vera. Kahit ako rin ay nababahala na sa aking kinalalagyan.
I was tensed, lalo na't anong oras na at hindi pa dumadating si Kelsey. She was supposedly be the one to sing the theme song of our play, ngunit hanggang ngayon ay wala pa rin siya rito sa auditorium.
Vera was obviously stressed because of our play. There was a problem in our props and music. May nasisira pang costumes na agad rin naming na-solusyunan. It was obviously chaotic here in the backstage and a lot of our classmates are in distress too. Ang tanging problema na lang ay si Kelsey na hindi pa dumadating.
Nagagahol na rin kami sa oras, dalawang sections na lang bago kami mag-perform. Kaya tarantang-taranta na ang lahat.
"Ano hindi niyo 'ko sasagutin?!"
"P-Pres... kasi... may family reunion daw si Kelsey kaya 'di siya makakapunta," napakamot ng ulo si Ricky.
Halos mapahilamos ng mukha si Vera dahil dito. Bago pa ito singhalan ang kawawang kaklase namin ay agad ng umeksena si Eyvinder.
"Inhale, exhale po, Madam."
"Putangin-"
Vera's eyes widened as soon as she saw Eyvinder's smirking face.
"Ano ba?!" she flinched, she immediately pushed him away.
Natawa lamang si Eyvinder saka kami binalingan. His face suddenly became serious.
"Okay na 'yong costumes diba?" he asked.
Tumango naman ang isang kaklase namin na in-charge sa costumes.
"Oo, nalagyan na namin ng pin lahat ng may sirang tela, Eyv."
He smiled in return. He turned his head to Arvin, the head of the props committee.
"And the props?"
"Ayos na, boss. Super glue ang susi!"
Namangha ako sa kalmadong ekspresyon nito habang napanganga naman si Vera sa nasaksihan.
Who would have known Eyvinder has this responsible side?
"Bilib ka na ba sa'kin?" nanunuksong sambit ni Eyvinder kay Vera.
Vera looked stunned. Napakurap pa ito bago umiwas nang tingin.
"H-Huwag ka ngang pabida, r'yan! May problema pa tayo!"
Her eyes wandered around, trying to think straight. Eyvinder just chuckled continuously.
"Snow," si Eyvinder, saka ako nilingon, "Ikaw gumawa n'ong kakantahin ni Kelsey, diba?"
My brows furrowed.
"Yes," I replied.
"Edi ikaw na kumanta! Problem solved agad!"
Natigalgal ako roon lalo na nag magsimulang tawagin ang isang section na nauna sa amin. Kahit si Vera ay natataranta na rin.
"Oo nga, Snow! Ikaw na!"
"A-Ano?" hindi makapaniwalang sambit ko.
"Kaya mo 'yan!" Vera tried to cheer me up but I was to nervous to acknowledge it, lalo na't first time kong mag-perform at kumanta sa publiko.
It made me feel even worse that a lot of students from other strands are watching.
Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin dahil sa hinila na ako ng mga kaklase ko para ayusan at make-upan. The peach colored venus dress that Kelsey was supposed to wear, was given to me. Binigyan pa ako ng thumbs-up ni Fallon nang makita ang kinakabahang reaksyon ko.
"Isipinin mo na lang na you're just singing alone. I know you can do it!"
"S-Sana nga," I bit my lip, as I stared my reflection from the mirror. Halos mawalan ng kulay ang buong mukha ko.
She just smiled at me before she left. Mabilis ko namang kinuha ang lyric sheet na nasa upuan sa gilid ko at saka nag-simulang mag-practice.
It should be easy, right? Kasi ako naman ang gumawa ng kanta?
My fear started to rise up when I finally heard the ending scene of the section before us. Napalingon ako mula sa pinto nang makita ang pigura ni Vera. She looked at me worriedly.
"Pasensya na talaga, Snow..."
Bumuntong-hininga siya.
"Na-pressure na rin kasi ako," She looked at me with guilt.
Alam ko naman iyon. I still wanted to comfort her and say that it's okay but I knew that I wasn't. This stage fright is consuming me.
Kanina pa ako namamawis kahit malamig. My stomach churned and all that I could think about was to do great so that we could perform our play better.
"Alam ko namang kaya mo..." kinakabahang sambit niya, "Saka may tiwala naman kami sa'yo, Snow. You're the only person who could perform this piece, kasi ikaw naman mismo 'yong nag-compose!"
She fidgeted and played with her fingers nervously when she didn't get a response from me.
"D-Diba?" napakurap ito.
Huminga ako nang malalim bago siya malamyang nginitian.
"Just wish me luck..."
"Good luck!" awtomatikong sambit nito, saka hilaw na natawa.
Napailing lamang ako sa kaibigan, saka ako nito niyakap nang mahigpit.
"Malay mo, diba, baka ikaw na ang matagal na hinahanap na vocalist ng Rhythm..." she whispered before grinning.
"Ang dami mong alam, ano?" I pursed my lips.
Humalakhak lang ito bago kumalas mula sa pagkakayakap sa'kin. Tinawag ito kaagad ni Leighton para sabihin kami na raw ang magpe-perform. I even heard our teacher in Literature calling our section's name.
Mabilis kaming lumabas ni Vera sa backstage saka namin nakita ang iba naming mga kaklase na nagtitipon-tipon. All of them looked very nervous.
Nagsimulang magdasal ng mabilis si Ashley para sa performance namin. After a quick prayer, Vera tried to cheer us all up.
"Kahit anong mangyari, magkamali man kayo o hindi, basta ginawa natin ang best natin para sa play na 'to, okay?"
Tumango naman ang lahat sa'min.
"Sabi mo 'yan, ah? Walang sisihan?" Eyvinder chuckled. Sinamaan naman ito nang tingin ni Vera.
"Tumahimik ka nga d'yan! Ang mas mabuti pa, ituon mo 'yang atensyon mo sa pagiging sad boy mo!"
Natawa kaming lahat. Knowing Eyvinder's character in the play, siya kasi ang napiling kontrabida na nagkagusto sa leading lady, ngunit mamamatay din naman sa huli.
"Tiklop si Boss!" tawa ni Joshua kay Eyvinder.
"Dapat lang 'no!" singhal ni Vera.
"Wala ka pala Boss, e!"
"Lugi! Walang comeback si Eyvinder ngayon!"
"Tumahimik nga kayo mga hunghang," Eyvinder shook his head. "Crush kasi ako n'yan, kaya ako pinapagalitan lagi."
He suddenly grinned. Bigla namang nanlaki ang mga mata ni Vera.
"Napakalungkot naman ng buhay mo para akalaing magugustuhan kita?!"
"Oo nga. Sa sobrang lungkot natatawa ako sa'yo, sige deny pa."
Natigil lamang ang pagbabangayan ng dalawa nang tawagin muli kami ng teacher namin. We exchanged our good lucks with everyone.
Vera immediately assisted our actors and actresses. Hinanda niya na rin ang ibang may roles para sa blockings na gaganapin.
Nagpaiwan ako sa backstage dahil nasa bandang hulihan pa rin naman ang parte ko sa play.
I was staring at the lyric sheet, hard. I couldn't bring myself to sing it. Hindi ko rin alam kung anong nangyayari sa'kin, but it feels like I couldn't express my emotions well by singing this song which I even originally made.
Even if I did sing it, I feel empty.
"Wrong timing ba ako?"
Napaangat ako ng tingin nang makita si Fall mula sa pintuan. She suddenly waved at me gleefully.
"Ang seryoso mo masyado," she exclaimed when she walked towards me.
Napangiti ako.
"Akala ko ba may mga klase kayo?" kumunot ang noo ko. I'm familiar with their schedules, kaya alam kong tatama ang performance namin ngayon sa mga major subjects nila.
"Syempre, hindi naman namin pwedeng ma-miss ang performance mo! First time ka kaya namin maririnig na kumanta!"
Nagulat ako roon.
"Grabe, ang ganda-ganda mo!" She suddenly fished out her phone, "Dapat ganito 'yong mga ipo-post mo sa instagram. Wala ka kasing kahit anong picture mo r'on, e!"
Ilang beses pa akong pinag-pose ni Fall. She really took her time taking pictures of me.
"Ibang angle naman!" she suggested.
Kahit naguguluhan man ay sinunod ko ang mga iniutos nito. My brows furrowed when she took her last shot.
"Paano niyo nalaman?"
"Syempre si Vera pa ba? Wala 'yon tinatago sa'kin..."
Tumawa siya, habang pinapakita ang mga litrato ko sa phone niya. But she stopped when she suddenly noticed my discomfort.
"Huwag kang mag-alala! Hindi pa naman alam ng iba. Ako pa lang at si Sun ang nakakaalam. Sinabihan ko lang sina Jupiter na pumunta rito para manood..."
Hearing Sun's name made me even more nervous.
"S-Si Sun?"
Tumango naman siya kaagad.
"Oo! Vera requested him to accompany you, para sa performance mo? Hindi niya ba nasabi 'yon?"
Napakurap ako dahil doon. He's what?
"No..." naguguluhan kong sambit.
"Sun is a prodigy at playing different kinds of instruments. Makukuha niya agad ang tune ng kanta mo at kayang-kaya niyang sabayan 'yon! You don't have to worry that much!"
Kaya hindi na ako nakapaghanda pa nang may nilingon ito mula sa likuran ko. She immediately waved at someone.
"Nandito na pala siya, e!" si Fall.
I fought the urge to turn at him. I'm still not comfortable around him since that night. I felt guilty about it.
"Ikaw na ang bahala kay Snow, ah?" Fall pushed me a bit. Bahagya akong napaatras at natamaan ang balikat ni Sun.
I felt his hand on the hem of my dress which made me nervous even more.
"Good luck you two!"
Ni hindi ko na naramdaman ang pag-alis ni Fall dahil sa taong nasa harapan ko ngayon.
It was awkward again.
Napayuko ako. Naramdaman ko ulit ang kakaibang ilang na naramdaman ko muli sa kaniya noong kakakilala ko pa lang sa Rhythm at Galaxy.
I saw how his dark brown eyes stared at me in confusion. I noticed that he isn't wearing our usual uniform... naka itim na shirt ito, habang may suot na denim jacket. He also partnered it with a dark maong pants which suited him gorgeously. Mas lalong umaangat ang pagiging maputi nito dahil sa pananamit.
"Are you not comfortable?"
His voice was laced with concern which caught me off guard.
Hindi ko alam kung saan ibabaling ang tingin ko. With Sun around, it feels like I have to calculate my every move. It feels forbidden to be around him.
"Okay lang ako."
I immediately handed him the copy of my song. Hindi siya umimik nang tanggapin iyon, ngunit biglang tumigil ang mga mata nito sa akin.
His eyes stayed at me for a while. Bahagya akong naalarma sa paraan ng pagtitig nito.
Kumunot ang noo ko. I blinked as I heard him said something unfamiliar, but I could surely tell that he is speaking in a different language.
He just smiled, before shaking his head.
"You look good," I was stunned. Naramdaman ko agad ang pag-iinit ng pisngi ko, kaya agad kong iniwas ang mga mata sa kaniya.
"T-Thank you," napalunok ako, saka nagsimulang magbasa ulit.
I saw how he brought his guitar with him. Nilingon ako nito nang matigil ako sa ginagawa.
"You want to practice?" he asked.
I was contemplating whether I'll agree or not.
But in the end, I decided to agree with him.
"Okay..."
He just smiled as his fingers started to strum gently. Nagulat pa ako dahil ka-tono nga ng kakantahin ko iyong stina-strum niya.
I cleared my throat, as he steadily strummed with the same tune.
I easily got lost at the way he stares at me, while he's strumming. His eyes were glinting with so much passion. Hindi ko magawang umimik at kantahin ang naunang stanza.
Saka lamang ako natauhan nang mapatigil ito. My forehead creased. Nilapag niya ang kaniyang gitara sa kaniyang tabi, saka dahan-dahang tumayo at naglakad papalapit sa'kin.
I was completely bewildered.
His gaze still locked into mine.
It felt like my whole system got out of control. I couldn't keep up with how my heart reacted.
"You look nervous, again."
His voice was gentle. His eyes looked at me sincerely as I felt his hands on my arm. My lips parted.
"Close your eyes, Snow..." he instructed.
"W-What?"
"Visualize yourself that you're all alone. Imagine that you're in a secluded area."
I felt his hand tucking the strands of my hair behind my ear.
"Think that I'm not here," he whispered.
Ramdam ko ang panginginig ng buong katawan ko, but Sun reassured me about everything. He ordered me to relax. He helped me not to be bothered by the performance and not to give in into my inhibitions.
Sinubukan kong isipin na mag-isa ako at nasa sariling kwarto. I tried to get off Sun's presence beside me.
Ngunit sa hindi inaasahan, ay nakita ko ang nakangiting mukha ni mama sa dulo ng kwarto, taimtim na pinapanood ako habang may isang ngiti na nasa paskil ng kaniyang labi.
My eyes wandered at the door, kakapasok lang roon ni papa na may dala-dalang meryenda. My mother suddenly greeted him. The both of them looked happy like before...
"Hon, kakanta raw si Snow natin!" pumalakpak pa si mama nang tingnan ako ulit.
Napakurap ako sa hindi inaasahang pangyayari. It's just that my heart couldn't contain the happiness that I'm feeling right now.
My smile widened.
"Talaga? Parinig nga si Papa ng magandang boses mo, 'Nak!"
I tried singing the first few lines. Nakita ko kung paano tumingkad ang kanilang mga mata nang magsimula akong kumanta.
Rain is taking place
Dark clouds start to dominate
Rainbow turns to flames
Still wondering why I felt this way
I sang more, just then I saw how my father wrapped his arms around my lovely mother. Parehong masaya at walang problema ang kanilang mga mata.
Were everything goes wrong,
You suddenly came all along
My heart is in chaos, my heart is in vain
The moment you stayed for me all the way
"Nagmana sa'yo ang anak natin..." my father chuckled.
I could feel my eyes tearing up a bit as I started to sing the chorus part. Hindi ko pa rin inaalis ang mga mata ko sa kanila, sa takot na baka bigla silang mawala.
You are everything that's right
The moment you stayed by my side
You gave me light upon... seeing the bad parts of my life
You're the reason that I breathe,
For you my heart does no longer grieve.
All I could is to stare at my parents.
How could their beautiful story ended up in a tragic one?
I continued singing as the sweet melody continued taking place. Gusto kong ikanta lahat ng nararamdaman ko, sa pamilya ko at sa insidenteng nangyari noon kay mama...
But as soon as my tears welled up, the music stops.
Biglang nawala ang lahat. My parents were gone too...
If only it could last for a lifetime...
"Snow," napakurap ako nang mahanap ang pigura ni Sun na seryosong nakatitig sa'kin.
Suddenly, I was reverted back to the auditorium's backstage.
"D-Did I messed up?" my voice trembled.
He held my arm, concern was evident on his face.
"Breathe," he calmy said.
"I-I'm sorry if I was getting emotional."
Umiwas ako nang tingin saka bumaling sa maliit na siwang sa grand stage.
Agad akong nabato sa aking kinauupuan nang marinig ang boses ni Vera mula sa labas.
Fear started to rise up within me.
"'Andito lang ako," Sun's voice made me stopped from thinking negative thoughts.
He held my hand gently and smiled.
"You may be cold at the surface, but you had the warmest heart. Just sing how the way you like it, nothing beats a person who expresses herself sincerely."
"Paano kung h-hindi ko magawa? I'll fail all of their expectations on me."
Ayoko naman masira ang tiwala ng mga kaklase ko sa'kin. We already put much effort for this play.
Taimtim ako nitong tinignan. He licked his lips.
"You won't..." his voice became hoarse.
"How sure are you?" I uttered softly.
He just smiled knowingly. Nagulat ako roon.
"You already did it."
"H-Huh?"
"I've already witnessed how angelic your voice is."
Nanlaki ang mga mata ko sa sinabi niya. Sun is really getting bolder the more we interact with each other.
"So don't feel pressured. Hindi mo alam kung gaano kaganda ang boses mo..."
He paused, stopping himself from smiling more.
"Katulad mo."
🎶 ~ 🎶 ~ 🎶 ~ 🎶