I've always loved the smell of gasoline.
It reminded me of my mother, or at least what I could remember of her.
She had a factory job out of the Navy. Some low-end refinery somewhere on the bad side of town. Maintenance was shit but, hey; at least it paid well. There was always food on the table, clothes on our backs; hot water to clean our asses. If there was one thing I remembered about my mother, she didn't like to sit down for too long. Even when she had gotten sick ~ the crazy woman had enough drive in her to keep a day job until the chemo made her too weak to stand. And don't get me started about that damn cane she had. God, a good wack from that and you'd be on your ass faster than you could pick your teeth off the ground.
She was a fighter. A soldier. And my godfather never missed a beat to tell me how much I reminded him of her.
I wonder what he'd say now? What he'd think of this woman I had become. What his "flower" bloomed into.
Ha.
Ha. Ha.
But you can only gargle on your own blood for so long.
"You're up early?"
Shifting my attention from the face of the skillet onto him, I addressed Loki with a welcoming glance. "Oh, yeah. I just couldn't seem to keep my eyes closed last night."
It was 6:03 am on a Sunday morning. Dawn had just barely begun and the sun's bright and beaming glare lit up the horizon with a brilliant orange. I stood before the bay window accompanying the stove; a pair of sizzling eggs face up in the skillet adorning my hand as a pan of bacon popped eagerly to my side.
"What are you doing up?" I asked.
"Noticed you weren't in bed and felt curious to find you ~ smells delicious by the way."
"Thank you."
Shuffling house shoes scratching against the marble floor behind me, I smiled contently as a pair of arms coiled around my waist. "So...Care to explain what happened last night?"
I shrugged. "Not much to explain. I was just... stressed out."
"Nothing more?"
"Nothing more." I lied.
Kissing the skin above my bare shoulders, he gripped the sides of my nightdress firmly. "Well, how do you feel now?"
Empty.
"Better." I nodded.
I could feel the shift in his mood as his body held slightly more stiff against me.
"Hm."
His ice-cold fingers entangling themselves in mine, he spun me to face him.
I knew that look. That slight glare and twitch of his brow that spoke to me in that velvety Asgardian accent. "Are you sure you wanna lie to me?" God, I could hear it in his voice. I knew I should probably tell him. Tell him that I felt sick to my stomach thinking of what happened last night. That the only reason I got out of bed so early was because I was horrified that the man that lay beside me wouldn't be the man I crawled into to bed with. Tell him everything I saw - everything I heard in that moment between sitting in his lap and speaking to him again.
But I couldn't.
I couldn't because the Loki I stood aside in Sengusial's castle wasn't the one whose eyes I stared into now. He had a fire in him. Behind that Jötunn exterior burned a soul hotter than the sun. It was inextinguishable, eternal; and I knew I brought that out in him.
I didn't fear his cowardice because there was none.
And I didn't fear what Sengusial was willing to do to him.
I feared what he was willing to do to himself.
"I know what you're thinking ~" I played off. "But really, I'm fine. Yesterday was hectic. And I'm sure it isn't too out of the ordinary that I'm a bit off. ~ You're worrying for nothing."
"I suppose." He mumbled suspiciously.
I smiled. "Besides, breakfast is finished. I um -decided to make your favorite: thin cut bacon and a fish roe spread. I figured I'd try to at least make it up to you. You know, as an apology for leaving you hanging last night."
He furrowed. "Leaving me hangi- Oh! Oh, god I had forgotten all about that."
"Oh?" I twisted my lips teasingly. "Glad you can just forget about that. I'll be sure to remember that next time."
He chuckled as he pulled me into him, staring down at me with soft and amused eyes. "Oh shut up. You know I don't mean that."
"Do I?" I snickered.
And for that moment the mood had shifted. He brought his lips to mine and all was right again. I didn't have fake the feelings I had with him. The realest truths lied in the moments spent between his lips and nothing made me feel more at peace than being held in his arms. For that split second, nothing else existed but us.
For that split second.
"Knock! Knock! Knock! Knock!"
Our kiss was swiftly broken by the sound of sharp knuckles beating against the kitchen wall.
We turned to find Steve, an annoyed and slightly disgusted grimace painted blatantly on his face as he stood impatiently at the threshold of the room.
"Can I talk to you?" He spoke sternly. "Only you."
"Uhm.." I stammered before glancing at Loki.
Loki stood with a stance like stone, an acid-spitting glare in his eyes that looked on at Steve with the utmost scrutiny. I could tell he was still angry about what happened, and I knew that the last thing he wanted to do was leave me alone with him. But I knew it probably be best for him to go. We needed peace in this house and if that meant compromising over our own distaste for the situation, then so be it.
I grabbed his wrist and squeezed it reassuringly. "Go."
"What? No."
"Loki."
"I'm not-"
"Go." I tugged gently at his arm. "I'll be okay."
Looking down at me with a protesting stare, he pondered a moment before sighing frustratedly in defeat. "Five minutes."
"That's all we need." I smiled.
Taking a hand and gripping my cheeks roughly, he placed a swift and firm kiss on my lips before leaving the room. Knocking shoulders with Steve a bit as he left.
I exhaled and pulled a chair out from the coffee table in the middle of the kitchen.
"Talk."
"Alright." He nodded. "Well for one; what the hell is this place? Why are you here?" He asked demandingly.
"King Sengusial's manor." I leaned back in my chair. "I guess this is where he's chosen to keep us for the time being until the mission is over."
"Mission? What mission?"
"The mission to dethrone Odin." I sighed. "And retrieve the Leviticus Key."
"Odin? You mean Thor's father? You wanna dethrone him?"
"Of course not. But that's the only reason he's keeping us captive."
He shook his head. "Then escape?"
"Oh wow, Steve!" I exclaimed sarcastically. "Well, when you put it that way~"
He sighed. "I mean what's keeping you. What does he possibly have over you that you can't just leave now?"
"Simple." I shrugged. "He'll kill everyone. ~Isn't how it always is?"
"So you're just gonna do what he tells you to?"
"No."
"Then what?"
"We're going to trick him." I crossed my arms. "Start the plan he devised then pull the rug from under him. - We've been working on it for a while. Being meticulous about every little detail. ~ that is until you showed up and made it a lot more difficult than it needed to be."
"How was I suppose to know?"
"You weren't. Have I had known you and Bruce would pop out of thin air like you did, we'd have planned ahead. But you weren't suppose to."
"It sounds like you're blaming me for this?"
"Well, I'm sure as hell not thanking you." I scoffed.
"We were worried for you, (Y/N). I was worried! I couldn't just leave you out here by yourself?! - Look, how the hell was I suppose to know you'd be dimension away cuddling up with this jackass?"
"You were supposed to trust me."
"Trust you?!"
"Yes, Steve trust me. You can't just train me up to be this "bold and tactical agent" and then completely undermine me whenever it's convenient for you. I finally have the courage I've been working for all these years and suddenly you find it hard to trust me? This is my field, my job. - And what about your job, huh? What about New York, Steve? Does that worry you? What about the earth? ~You're an Avenger. You can't avenge from a dimension away. There are people that need you."
"What we did-"
"~ Was idiotic, Steve." I cut him off. "Completely irresponsible and damn near moronic."
"Don't talk to me like that, (Y/N). I don't know where this coming from but you have obviously forgotten that you are talking to your -"
"I'm gonna stop you right there." I stood from my seat.
"What I am talking to is an equal." I got in his face. "This isn't training. This isn't S.H.I.E.L.D. And this sure as hell isn't that rooftop."
"You are in no position to talk down to me." I said lowly. "You speak to me not as a trainee, not as a child, not as a daughter; but as a woman. What Loki and I say here is law. And you are gone just as soon as we find you a way back home."
Turning from him and making my way back to the table, I sat with my leg crossed over the other. "Time's up."
As if on cue, Loki cleared his throat behind Steve. Gesturing him to move to the side as he pushed past him and into the kitchen with an unforgiving knock of his shoulder. I stood from my seat and made my way for the stove, reaching for the freshly prepared serving of breakfast laid among the few pans that stood in front of me.
I turned to Steve again, I warm grin now painted on my lips. "Hungry?"
- - -
"I just can't possibly see how you've been able to tolerate him for so long." Loki grumbled.
A cold morning spent in even colder glances, Steve seemed to disappear once the sun started to stand over the trees. He stormed out after our conversation, pissed off and defeated by my unrelentingness to buckle to him or his authority. And running on almost 9 pm we haven't spoken since. But in that time at least we were able to get some work done.
We spent the day in our observatory deck working with Bruce to get them both on their way back home. Apparently, the two had maneuvered the mechanics of some of the alien technology left behind at the battle of New York; rigging some of it up to become some makeshift back alley teleportation device that circumstantially got them here in one piece.
Lucky for them Loki knew a great deal about "Chictaurial Rocket Physics" - or whatever that is, and could fix the device up along with a few minor improvements. The only problem is, is that we lack the materials to actually power it. And until we find some grade A "K2-48"; the damn thing is as good as a glorified paperweight. So, we wait until then I guess.
The day was trying, but at least a great deal of progress was made. No thanks to Steve.
Now we sit in the master bathroom of our shared royal suite. He, brushing his teeth in front me; his back in my direction as he stood before the grand mirror placed over a marble sink. And I, laid leisurely in the polished amethyst tub behind him; mid shoulder deep in a large bowl of soap and hot water as we spoke of the day.
"He isn't always like this." I defended. "I think maybe he's just having some trouble coping with the situation, you know? I'm not the same (Y/N) he last saw almost a year ago, and that change can be overwhelming."
He shook his head. "Seems like you're giving him more credit than he deserves." He spat into the sink. "He's controlling. And exhibits much more toxic behavior than he does good."
"He's just protective, Loki. There's a difference."
"Yeah, there is and it doesn't bode too well for him."
I pouted. "You don't know him like I do. He has a good heart. He's a really good man."
"Good heart or not~" He gargled. "All is frivolous if his intentions suit ill of you."
"You're not giving him a chance." I grumbled.
"You're right." He shrugged. "But that proves nothing."
Turning from his position at the front of the sink, he made his way over and lowered himself to a casual crouch; leveling himself with me as he spoke.
"You're a forgiving woman, which is something I find.....Charming. But I lack the patience to be so sparing. He deserves to be held accountable for his actions and I will not turn a blind eye to his behavior as of these few days. I very heavily suggest that you don't either."
Sinking lower into the tub, I looked up at him with solemn eyes.
Steve isn't a bad guy. He's giving, he's honest, he's a hard worker. He puts his heart and his soul into everything he does ~ including caring for me. He was there when I had no one, he was there when I felt like no one. He's been a best friend and father to me since the night we met.
But his faults, though very few; can be absolutely crippling at their worst.
Ever since that incident with Jai, nothing could be easy when it came to any association with the opposite sex.
He demanded to the board of S.H.I.E.L.D education that he'd be the sole provider of any and all paper training issued to me. He dismissed and replaced my S.H.I.E.L.D provided dietitian, even though the man made it explicitly clear that he was a veteran at the facility, and had no intention of hurting me.
He showed up to all of my field courses including Raven training, - which I'll probably never get over. He regularly over talked my officials; even pushing one to point of dropping me from his class altogether. Blacklisted all H-P operatives in Conference room 312 (The class in which the incident took place.) from ever being enlisted into the same advanced courses as me; even when perfectly qualified. ~ And has just been - in a sense - one big dance mom on my entire professional career.
He can be... stifling. But only because he means well, only because he cares. If it weren't for him, who knows if I'd even be here. Who knows how far I would have gotten before this crystal tore me apart from the inside out? He saved me and I owe him my life.
But I don't owe him my life.
"Maybe you're right." I mumbled.
"Um, of course, I'm right." He scoffed. "When am I not?"
I chuckled. "You always do this."
"I always do what?"
Freeing a hand from beneath the water, I playfully threw my fingers in his direction; pelting him childishly as I rolled my eyes. "Nothing 'John Wilkes Booth'" I teased. "I'm surprised you've let him get to you like this in the first place? I thought humanity was too beneath you to ruffle your feathers like he has these past few days."
"Yeah, and it still is." He shrugged. "But there's just some things~"
Gently he brought his hand to my face. Wiping a slipping drop of bath water from my cheek, he looked on purposefully. "~ You don't meddle with in a man's life."
Knowing he spoke of me, I couldn't help but blush. "Well, his visit here is only temporary, and nothing he could do could ever impede on what the two of us share. So don't let it bother you too much, My King."
He smiled. "God. You know I love it when you call me that. ~Just the way it bounces off your lips; it's quite heavenly honestly."
"It fits you." I beamed fondly. "It really does. 'King Laufeyson. His royal benevolence.' "
I held my hands out in gesture of a billboard. "It really falls off the tongue doesn't it?"
"Eh...Benevolence?"
"Yes, babe. Benevolence." I giggled. "Can't let that warm heart of yours go to waste now can we?"
"Warm heart." He scoffed. "Surely I digress."
"Oh come on ya big softy." I rolled my eyes. "Ever since the day you and I made each other "official" You've been quite obverse to your previously antagonistic self. Caring, attentive, loving, and protective. You knocked a super soldier out with one punch - and I thought Thor was the brute among you two. You've changed, become something more ~ something better than anyone could have ever imagined. Benevolence isn't even scratching the tip of what you're capable of."
His face dropped to a reflective stare. A stiff look that grabbed tightly onto the far wall of the bathroom as he searched his head for what ever conclusion his mind so pondered for in this moment. His eyes softened as he turned to look at me again. A bright and mirror-like glossiness that looked on with a delicate veal that warmed my soul to its very core, before he spoke again.
"Do you... truly think so highly of me?"
"Of course." I shook my head. "I mean look at you. Look how much you've grown, how much potential you've proven to have at a nearly astronomical scale. You've made me see how wonderful of a being you actually are." I brought my hand to his cheek. "And I am so proud of you for that."
Meeting me with a tender look, his lips lifted into a gentle and enraptured smile. "I don't know what to say."
He looked away for a moment. "(Y/N)?"
"Yes?"
"I think I'm~" He sighed and paused for a moment.
"(Y/N), I'm in-"
"Crash!"
"What the hell was that?"
Apprehensively he swung his head for the bathroom door before turning to me again. "I'm not sure? Do you think-"
"Raaaahhh!"
We gasped together before speaking in conjunction.
"Hulk."
---
We nearly fell racing down the steps to reach the scene. Broken decor and furniture nearly split in half, the lower level of the house was nearly in ruins as we rushed our way through the corridor unto the ballroom. A Hulk sized piercing stabbed through the wall near the entrance, terror screeching in the stomach of the room before we entered to find what unfolded in our absence.
It was absolute bedlam.
A fearful animal in a panic to the bars of a locked cage, Hulk rammed himself into the walls with desperation. His green and vein stricken face and neck stressed to the point of nearly bursting, he had seemed to be overtaken with what I could only describe as bewildering terror.
I noticed Steve, backed helplessly into a corner a few feet far of the rampage and called out for him fearfully. "Steve!"
"(Y/N)!? Oh thank god."
"What happened?!"
"I don't- I don't know?! We were just talking and then-"
"Aaahhh!"
"Shit!" I cursed. "Did you say something that could have triggered this?!"
"No!? I mean it shouldn't have?! We were just talking about coffee!"
"Coffee?! Why were talking about coffee?!"
"Does it really matter now?!"
"I- Look, Okay, I'm gonna get you out of there Alright? Just stay right there!"
Stepping up carefully, I eased my way over; my hands up in surrender as I attempted to coax him.
"Hulk, listen; I'm gonna need you to calm-"
"Graaaaahhh!"
"Down. I'm gonna need you calm down. I can fix this, okay? Just... Look at me, Hulk."
"No!" He threw a piece of furniture in my direction.
Ducking the assault, I continued. "Okay so first of all, really unnecessary on your part. Really unnecessa-"
Another chair chucked for where I approached, I moved aside to avoid it. "Okay! Okay. I get it. But please~ just listen to me. Okay, Hulk? Just calm down and I promise -"
Without warning he lunged for me. Like a train without brakes, he moved with unyielding passion. Ferocious and speed like a rapid dog. He was on a mission, and I was his bullseye faced intention.
A split second from the jaws of his green wrath, I covered him in an energy seal; the sound of his sizzling flesh popping generously to my ears as he clawed an inch before my face.
I looked up at him and sighed. "Come on, Bear."
"Nope, No!" Loki voice boomed furiously behind me.
A bit taken off guard by the sudden outburst, I swiftly whipped my head in his direction.
"That settles it!" He slammed his fist against the wall beside him. "I want them out! I don't care where, I want them out!"
"Wha-Loki?"
"No, (Y/N)." He stomped over. "I'm tired. I can only take so much and this is where I draw the line. He tried to kill you!"
"But he can't?" I argued. "Even without the shield, the worst he could do is-"
"I don't care. That's no excuse to disregard he had the intention of doing it. And that alone is reason enough to get rid of him. To get rid of the both of them!"
"Loki, he was scared! Lord knows what could have happened to make him go off like this. You can't-"
Warnfully, he gripped my wrist. "No more excuses, (Y/N)."
"Hey! What the hell are you doing grabbing her like that?!" Steve called out as he made his way over.
Boiling with rage, Loki turned to him with a dagger like glare. "And you."
"Yeah? What about me, huh?" Steve prodded.
Releasing hold my wrist, he met Steve halfway with a bone cutting slice of his voice. "If it weren't for her you'd be gutted like the slithering trout you are."
"Sure, bud. How bought this time around you meet me like a man. That little punch you threw when I wasn't looking? Pathetic." Steve spat back.
"Pathetic? What's pathetic is a grown man living his life through a woman who has long since outgrown the likes of you. How big of a purpose do you really think you serve in her life, huh? Because I assure you, you fall nothing short of a termite festering somewhere you don't belong." Loki pushed him.
"Loki, stop!" I tried to pull him away.
"Okay, big shot; so let me get this straight. ~ You kidnap her, put her in mortal danger, trap her in this house with you for a little less than a year, let her be held captive by someone shit named Sengusial! And think you're suddenly more important than me because what, you're screwing her now?!"
"Steve!" I exclaimed.
"You're nothing compared to me." Steve pushed him. "I saved her, raised her. I matter to her. You're just some creep on the better end of Stockholm syndrome."
"Fuck you." Loki hissed.
"Fuck you too, asshole." Steve cursed back.
Before I could get another word in the fight had unfolded. No knives, no shield; no trick of the hand or illusions. Just fists fueled by unbridled anger.
I was exhausted at this point. Tired of arguing, tired of choosing, tired of always being the middleman. I felt surrounded by children; overwhelmed as the room seemed to fill louder and louder. Yelling and voices counted higher than the three that echoed in the ballroom surrounding me. Crowds overwhelming. A stadium filling a single room. Chanting that harmonized louder than my ears could take.
I was at my boiling point. I needed to be heard, for my voice to tower over all that screamed to silence me. I pulled a voice I had never known from the bottom of my stomach and bellowed with all the energy I could muster; all in a single demand.
"Enough!"
PoeticMindsEye.
*Edit* I spent nearly an hour and half last night looking for this asshole in the dead of fucking night:
Just to come back and be peed on by this ugly fucking cunt just as soon as I sat down to sleep: