A/n: Giving some characters a name. Other than that, I'm just taking the video and expounding on it to make a longer story :) Thomas' character is named 'Aaron' and Stephanie-Jane's I've named 'Hannah'. Enjoy!
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The door opened slowly and my spirits fell as I took in Hannah's appearance. She was ragged, clothes worn and looking thinner than usual. Her hair tied up in a messy bun and her face so faded with exhaustion it caused pain in my chest to see. Her lip jutted and shook, her face scrunching as she held back tears. The second my arms began to raise, she jetted into my embrace, wrapping her arms so tightly around me I felt caged and unable to breathe. I didn't pull back though. Instead, I held her in return, one of my hands around her back and the other smoothing down her hair soothingly.
After a second, I looked around to see if anyone was watching before I shuffled us into her apartment, closing the door. I had to practically drag her to the bed but once we got there it was easy to get her to lay down and cuddle with me. I'd known Aaron since we were kids, but since he and Laura had their thing, we'd become less and less like best friends. Then he'd broken up with her and it had been a hard transition into being single. We became friends again then. Once he was out and about, though, he soon found another girl. I'm not surprised, really. Aaron was never one to be single for long. It was Hannah that really brought us back to being best friends though. She took a liking to me and started to lean on me as a best friend as she never had with anyone else. With the growing friendship between me and Hannah, Aaron found himself easily slipping back to my side and into my life. Now we were the Three Musketeers we were all so close.
Or... we were.
Hannah and Aaron had been having terrible problems in their relationship. I got stuck in the middle. They both ranted to me and came to me for everything. They both needed me. If I wasn't cuddling with Hannah I was consoling Aaron. Really, I was doing my best. I set them up on dates and encouraged them in every way I could. Helped Aaron remember important dates on the calendar and got Hannah out of bed when her emotions hit her hard. I set up dates for them, knowing them both plenty well enough to be able to create a situation they could both enjoy.
The thing was, if I was the sole reason they were still working and together... why were they together at all?
Hannah had started cutting again. Aaron drank a lot these days. She reclused in the house, so he was always going out. Usually dragging me along. The amount of times Aaron and I had been alone these days was alarming.
Something clicked in my head and I reached over, pulling the inside of Hannah's arm up and letting her sleeve fall so I could inspect her usual self harm spot. My lips pressed together as I took in the sight of the plenty fresh, new, red lines. "Hannah..." I whispered.
Burying her head in my neck, Hannah groaned. "I know I know I know," she agonized. "I know! I just... I can't take it anymore. You know? I hate the feeling of being next to him in bed. Waking up beside him. I hate seeing him slump around. I hate kissing him. I hate going out and doing things with him. I hate this."
Disgust hit me and I pushed her away. She shot me a broken look but my anger was flared. I had had enough. "You hate it? Then why the fuck are you still doing it? What is there to gain anymore? You're miserable. Suicidal. Scared. Alone. Even worse. You're with someone you despise. You can't even go and hang out! How do you stand sex with him?" She flinched and my lip curled. She deserved better than to force herself to date someone out of comfort - and he deserved better than being pity dated. I sat and she lay on the bed, her back to the door. The door began to silently opened and I saw Aaron coming into the room, freezing as he saw us in the all too familiar position... Except my angry expression. That was new. He froze, unsure what to do or how to handle the sight before him. I was usually gentle. Not today. "Do you love him?" I asked Hannah bluntly, forcing my eyes away from him in order to not give him away. I saw Aaron tense in the doorway but I didn't care anymore. This was ridiculous.
Ever so painstakingly slow, Hannah turned her gaze from my legs and feet to my face. "I don't," she whispered. "I'm miserable. Living like this. With him. Being with him. I don't know when I stopped loving him. When Aaron went from the best thing in my life to the thing that made my life lack. But I can't stand him anymore."
My eyes shot to Aaron, whose face was blank and emotionless as he processed. "And you," I snapped at Aaron. "Do you love her?" Hannah spun around sharply in the bed, her eyes and mouth going miles wide in shock and horror as she realized he'd heard her.
Aaron met my eyes quickly and I knew his answer. "I do," he said after a second's pause. "But I don't think... it's the same anymore. I respect her. I want... I want you to be happy, Hannah." He stopped talking to me, looking at his girlfriend. "You're very dear to me. But not like you were in the beginning. I think... I think I've fallen for someone else, actually." There was a painful burn in my chest. Great. Another girl. As if there wasn't enough bullshit going on right now.
Hannah sat up, wiping her nose on her sleeve. "Well. While we're being honest." She looked at me. They both did. I looked up, confusion melting away my anger. "Do you love him?"
My eyebrows came together. I was completely flabbergasted. "Love who?" I asked, totally lost.
Hannah shook her head, smiling softly, her eyes watering. "Don't lie to yourself anymore. Come on. You love Aaron." My whole body tensed as my very blood turned to ice. My eyes seemed to shake in their sockets as I looked at her, terror filling up my body and mind so there was no room for anything else. Not even sense. My darkness secret. The thing I'd kept hidden and guarded and away from view for years. I'd successfully hidden my feelings all these years. It was when he broke up with Laura and we were getting close that I'd realized. I'd realized the gap in my life that he'd left and how much I'd missed him. When I'd seen the warmth in my body that his presence brought back when he came around more and more again. The buzz. The excitement. The life that returned to me. It was the things people pointed out. The way I talked to him. The way I talked about him. The way I grinned and glowed and laughed at all his jokes.
"Yes," I choked out. I recoiled from the admitted words now in the air, my face twisting in disgust at them. I couldn't look at either of them. This admission had ruined me in the same way the truths had freed Aaron and Hannah. "I- I'm sorry." The whisper was wet and my words kept cutting off and fading out as my voice cracked. "Shit." I shot out of the bed, jetting out of the room, past Aaron, and out the front door before anyone else could react at all. I was gone before I could even check Aaron's reaction...
It was only later that I realized how at peace Hannah seemed, now that she'd gotten out her truth and forced me to reveal mine. Later, curled in a ball in my own room, by myself in the dark and peace and quiet, eyes open and trained blankly on the wall as my stomach turned with nausea and my head spun and I wallowed in pure, adulterated self hate. Complete self loathing. The stupid 'I love you like a sister' talk I knew was coming any second burned my eyes as they watered. I knew what would come next. The tension. The awkwardness. The guilt I would see in his eyes every single time he looked at me forever more. Our friendship would fall apart. Again. Right when I was finally getting my best friend back. Right when we were moving on and healing from the damage Laura did to our friendship. FINALLY. FUCK!
Damnit Hannah...
No, I mentally chided myself. Damn YOU, you emotional wreck. You're to blame.
The sick feeling in my stomach increased and I had to launch out of bed and to the bathroom in order to make the toilet as I threw up. The emotions hit me all at once. I love him. All these years, I'd bottled up my pain and yearning and angst and wanting and love and I'd hidden it all away because losing him was the ultimate Hell I didn't ever want to experience. And then when I did, for the short time I did, it was agony. The pain of losing him was unbearable. Not having him to talk to. Laugh with. See. Hang out with. I'd rather ache with insatiable longing than not have him in my life ever again. I'd rather ache than lose him.
I needed him.
He'd already proven he was fine without me.
Images of possibilities for whatever new girl he had found these days filtered through my head at lightning speed and I broke into hysterical sobbing. The terrible taste in my mouth didn't make it any better as I had only energy to flush the toilet, rinse my mouth out a bit, and then crawl back in bed before the rest of my energy streamed through my body in wracking, screaming sobs. I fell apart. The worst part? Aaron was probably completely fine.
- Two and a half weeks later -
There was a soft knock on my front door and I jumped, not expecting the noise. Other than that, I didn't move. Another knock. Another. A few more. A very muffled sigh that must have been pretty loud at origin for me to have heard it all the way through the door and to my bedroom. A key jiggling in a lock. Padding feet. My bedroom door opened.
"Oh- fuck! You've made a mess of your room. What are you doing with yourself? I mean... you've been going to work, at least. Showering." It was Hannah. She mumbled random things to herself about my poor state and how good the fact that I at least had basic function still was. As she mumbled, she tidied the mess of my room. Picking up trash, throwing all my dirty laundry into my closet and closing the door. Organizing my desk a bit. She then moved to the bed. "This is silly. You are silly. Aaron and I broke up. Honestly, though, we were over it far before we broke up though. I'm already dating around again and slipping back on the market. We've been teaming up to make sure you were okay. But keeping our distance. To make sure you were ready when we came back. Aaron knows you probably don't want to see him. Are you even listening to me?"
My eyes shot to her, cold and empty. "The girl he fancies. The one he mentioned that night. Have they hit it off?"
Hannah wouldn't look at me. "Not yet. She's avoiding him. He's sulky. We were both going to come over but... but he didn't want to push himself where he wasn't wanted." She looked at me, cocking her head. "Let's go get a coffee, yeah?" She offered me her hand and I glared but slowly took it. She grinned, pulling me to my feet. "Come on, Love Bug. You'll be okay." She dragged me to the closet, pulling out some jeans and a T-shirt. Once I changed, she was tugging me outside and I was groaning but it was the old Hannah again. Spirited and delightful and energetic and stubborn and determined. There was no saying no. So... I went. Yay.
- A week and a half later (one month since that night) -
In all honesty, I was better. Not good. I was still avoiding Aaron, but Hannah had been getting me out. After all the support I'd given her while she was with Aaron, she was returning every second while I pined over him. She bit her tongue, avoiding my eyes when I asked about him and this new girl I knew nothing about. She always reported the same. No luck for him. He wasn't giving up though. Aaron was nothing if he wasn't persistent and loyal and passionate. If only he could turn that affection in my direction...
One day I got some answers from Hannah. "I DON'T KNOW WHO IT IS!" She seethed after an hour of prodding and raking into her. She closed her eyes, breathing through her nose to calm herself. "He won't tell me. He just keeps telling me there's no luck yet. I have my suspicions of course but... I don't know." Her eyes looked at the clock. "I have to go home." We exchanged our farewells and she left.
Sitting on my couch, I placed my elbows on my knees, resting my chin in my hands. I wonder what he was doing right now. Thinking of her? Was he texting her? Calling her? Doting on her? Giving her attention and affection and company in hopes that he'd finally win her over? Was she slowly falling, as irresistible as he was? Was he slowly but surely pulling her heart from her chest into his hands so that he held power over her as he did me? He would be good to her, despite how much he could push the limit. He wouldn't. Was he-
A knock. I looked up, eyes wide at my front door. There was another knock and I moved to open the barrier. Only to reveal - "Aaron?" Confusion hit me like a brick.
He stepped in and I stepped back, unsure. His face was set and his eyes were burning with an all too familiar passion. He was about to gut bust. His eyes searched mine. "Do you still love me?" He asked quickly. When Hannah got scared or nervous or emotion, she always became slow and meticulous and careful. Not Aaron. Aaron got messy and quick and chaotic. I loved it.
Feeling awkward, I nodded. "Yes, Aaron. It's only been a month, after years of loving you. Of course I still love you."
A sunshine grin spread across his face and I was even more unsure now. "I love you too," he whispered, his hands holding my face gently. The contact burned in the most delicious way, causing my head to spin slowly, my gaze focusing on him as everything else turned in circles. Speechless, I simply shook my head, rejecting his words. No. It was impossible. Never. "Yes," he insisted. "The girl I'd fallen for? The same girl I was always around, even when I was with Hannah. The same girl I took every second to be with. To be alone with. The girl who's hand I held, claiming that it was not to get lost or separated or because I wanted comfort of whatever bullshit thing I thought you'd accept. The girl I'd watch scary movies with because I knew she would cuddle into me when she was startled simply because even though the movie didn't much effect her, the comfort of having me close made it easy to watch and criticize and laugh at and enjoy in a mocking way. The girl I adore and love and have been secretly pining after for months. You. I love you."
My chest moved quickly and I dared to hope. Dared to believe. Dared to trust that these words were real and true and genuine and that this was actually happening. A shaky smile rose my my face. "I... I love you too. But. But you were gone."
He smiled sheepishly. "There's a time someone needs to be single before they get into a new relationship. Not only to get over the last relationship, but to get used to being yourself and not being one with the person you were dating. I wanted to give myself time to completely remove the life of being with Hannah from me. So I could be with you. As me and only me. And... And I had to figure out some emotional ad mental stuff. You mess with my head. I wanted to be perfect for you. I wanted to be prepared to be with you exactly as you deserve. Laura was insane and it messed me up so that I totally treated Hannah like garbage, a lot of the time. I don't want to do that with you. I want to love you how you deserve to be loved. I'm sorry I stayed away. I just knew that it would be awkward between us and it would make everything weird and hard and it would have taken even longer where I wouldn't be as decided or prepared or-"
I pulled him close. "I forgive you. Kiss me."
He brushed his nose against mine. "You don't have to tell me twice." He tilted his head, closing the last bit of space between us and pressing our lips together. He stepped further into the entry way, closing the door with his foot. The kiss quickly intensified as years of want exploded in me, finally relaxed and spilling over and months of love erupted in him, finally reaching their full potential. Mercifully fast, the kiss became a quick succession of steamy, passionate kisses that were all tongue and heat. His hand moved down my face, my neck, my shoulders, my arms, pass my fingers to my waist. His fingers ghosted my clothed leg as he cupped his hand behind my leg, dipping down to grip under my thigh as I jumped up. Aaron stood up, pressing me against the closest wall as I wrapped my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck, my fingers intertwining in his wonderfully soft blonde hair and messing up the previously organized strands. He leaned back, his nose trailing my jaw. I tilted my head back, exposing my neck. He left love bites and wet kisses across my already hot skin and when he hit a spot that sent a surge of heat through my body, I moaned. "Hold on tight," he warned me as he took my full weight, leaning away from the wall. I held onto him as he said, our eyes locking. "I've been waiting to do this," he whispered, carefully moving through my apartment to the bedroom.
I smirked. "I've been waiting longer," I reminded.
Aaron chuckled and excitement bubbled inside of me. "Well, no more waiting. You're my girlfriend, yeah?" I shook my head, chuckling quietly. "Then let me make it worth the wait." He lay me on the bed after we entered my room, crawling over me. "You ready?"
My eyes found his and I but my lip a second before whispering, "I've BEEN ready, Aaron. Are you ready?"
His grin was confirmation enough, and the night that followed showed that not only was he sure he was ready... but oh boy he really was. Definitely worth the wait.