CHAPTER SEVENTEEN- Confrontation and late nights.
"I never said she was any of those things."
Claire retorted.
I just sat there feeling my cheeks heat up as she spat out each and every syllable forming the new list of rules for girlfriends and the consequences if any of these laws were breached. Niall and I had already breached all but one and I didn't think it would be long before we would be what Claire, if she knew, would describe as pure delinquents. I bit my lip as I scrolled aimlessly through the logs that Claire would surely slaughter me for if she was to discover. So, being the time filler searching person I was at this time I went through and deleted each and every one of the 178 that I had acquired in communication with Niall since last night.
"It's not always about what you say. It's what you imply."
Liam objected and I felt this hit me a bit. It wasn't even aimed at me and yet I felt some kind of relation to this. Like I should be particularly alert for those two short sentences but I didn't know as to why.
I leaned to the right and picked up my drink. Letting the cool liquid of the diet coke fizz on my tongue for a few seconds before flooding my system covering the nauseated feeling that was churning in the pit of my stomach as I listened to the argument continue to fold out in front of me.
"I never implied anything aside from what I said."
"You're a control freak."
Liam insulted and at this point I snapped my gaze up from my scanning of Niall conversations to register Claire's taken aback expression from Liam's fresh remark. Liam was seriously out of character today, was it really all because of Claire's new girlfriend rules?
"Excuse me?"
Claire raised her eye-brows and I caught Niall refraining from laughing as he smacked his hand to his mouth his laughter that had escaped his lips muffling into his hand at this argument and how Claire was so blatantly losing.
"You heard me. You're. A. Control. Freak."
Liam spat a steady repeat and I too had to refrain from reacting in some way, this was actually highly entertaining. It's not every day you see someone stand up to Claire like this, let alone Liam.
"What in hell's name is that supposed to mean?"
"Don't you know? You're the freaking queen of it. You treat us like we're two years old, thinking you have to control who, what and when we speak to or be social with. It's so stupid. You're a monitoring our call logs, do you know ridiculous that is? It's a downright invasion of our privacy; nobody should have the right to do that. You're so...obsessed with making us live by your rules when you don't even obey them yourself."
"How do I ever not obey my own rules? That's ridiculous to suggest so."
Liam looked from me to Niall and then back to Claire. This isn't looking pretty. I winced a bit as I sensed that what was about to roll of his tongue was not going to be a standard insult but something personal.
"Rule number four. We're not allowed to 'be social' or have any kind of relationship with any other crew members but we all know you still have a thing for Niall here!"
Oh shit. Niall's smirk dropped and he ran his fingers uneasily though his hair as he tried to catch my gaze but I chose not to look at him concluding this was not something we could discuss silently with everyone else here, it'd be too obvious.
"Liam could I talk to you outside please?"
She said coolly and all the boys aside from Liam and Niall did an oooh getting a death stare from Claire. I cringed as I could feel both Niall's and Zayn's eyes on me as I was staying scarcely silent on this subject, even more now that it had been put into the air open like a half-finished book for everyone to comment on. But I, was going to remain silent. I don't exactly know what you're supposed to say when your shared manager with your boyfriend has a thing for your boyfriend that nobody else even knows is your significant other, just an awkward ex in public.
"Well this is awkward..."
Harry commented as Louis gave him a shove in which response he just smirked at.
I just sat there still trying to ignore Niall's eyes on me as I brought my knees to my chest and scrolled through some mentions on twitter. Most relating to the latest rumours about a love triangle between me, Niall and Zayn. Rumours. And the rest were relating to Ellie, which in all honesty, I did not see why her six million followers did not tweet her account instead but there we go.
"Well I say we order a take-away!"
Louis suggested clapping his hands together.
"Nandos?"
Niall's thick accent piped up and I had to refrain a smile, he really hasn't changed at all.
"Sure. You order it. That way you have nobody to blame when there's not enough."
At this point I slid my phone back into my pocket and fumbled with the bracelets that were cluttering my wrists as I suddenly found them annoying and ripped them off stuffing them into my pocket along with my phone. I got up and pulled my hair from it's bun as I began to walk away.
"Ashley aren't you gonna eat with us?"
Louis frowned and I turned back around as I shook my hair running my fingers through the annoying kink that had now appeared due to having it up for a few hours.
"Yeah I am, I'm just gonna go shower first."
I informed them and they all nodded in turn and then I left cringing slightly as I walked past Liam and Claire's shouting match in the kitchen.
As soon as I got to my room I flicked on the light and faced myself with my reflection and what the events of today had inflicted on it. As if it being visible to me triggered something it became apparent that the eye make-up that was left and the excess that was cluttering underneath my eyes was actually really annoying me. Never before had I found wearing make-up particularly annoying, I could never usually feel it on there I was so used to it but right now even though I was about to get into the shower and wash it away anyway I grabbed two make-up wipes and hastily wiped it all away and stared down at the now black wipes. For the first time in my life something snapped inside of me and for a brief second I actually felt confused as to how, after all these years, I had found the will to cover my face in all this product. Because I'm ridiculously in-secure, right? But somehow, right now make-up doesn't seem to be the answer. It's not exactly solving my problems is it? And maybe the fact that I can conceal them is what drives me to ignore and just deal with how in-secure I am but that's not exactly healthy. I should be trying to improve my confidence and not just hide it behind rather pricey product. For the merest of seconds I could almost class myself as being in the same boat as Niall. But then as I let my eyes travel back to my reflection I realised why I wear make-up again and suddenly felt defensive in the case of anyone criticizing my usage of the thing that women had used to conceal and change for so many years on end.
Cutting down was one thing, but stopping all together? That's hard. Make-up is like a drug, once you start wearing it on a daily basis you can't stop, you get addicted and after a few weeks of daily usage you're in the bag. You've let yourself fall too deep into the pit of insecurity and it seems like there's no way out. Yet. You have to serve your time, wallow in your pit of lacking confidence until someone comes along and is willing to pull you out, steadily but surely, you might begin to recover. I didn't have to ponder for too long to know that for me, this person was Niall. He hated, loathed in fact that I wore make-up, so regardless of cliché thoughts and some words that may or may not have been exchanged, I'm probably not his ideal girl. I worry too much, I'm ridiculously in-secure and most of the time I do not share his love for food. I'm also a clean freak and when it comes to somewhere that I call my own, and only my own I have a mild case of OCD. But sometimes, you don't always fall in love with your ideal partner. I mean, Niall and I, we're not the same, but that's not to say we're not the same in other aspects. We don't have every single thing you could think of in common but where it matters, we do. You don't have to be the other version of someone to be right for them, of course it's nice if you are but we're not and that's okay. Because with Niall, he has habits that in any other potential boyfriend I would have written off straight away claiming I couldn't be dealing with that but with Niall I learned to put up with how he always failed to wash his clothes at regular intervals, or clean the kitchen after cooking something, or pick his clothes up off the floor. These small habits that he has had always pissed me off to an end in the past with any other boy but with him I learned to put up with it, and work around these small imperfections in my world of relationships because I love him. And love is a lot more powerful than these small habits he has. It works two ways, I put up with his habits the same way he puts up with how maybe, I am just too obsessed with dirty fingerprints on my car windows, or when someone knocks the bookmark from my book and I have to go through and find the exact page again, or how everything for me runs on timing and stepping a minute of line is just not acceptable. Because aside from small arguments that these may spark the relationship itself is worth way more than an imperfection here and there and love, if honest and strong enough, will over power over everything.
I combed the conditioner through my hair as the hot jets of water tumbled over my bare body making my skin flinch a bit with each spurt of scorching liquid cleansing my skin as if ridding it of any worries and imperfections it may have.
After my previous logon to twitter I made a point to call my sister at some point tonight. When I thought about it, I was actually really missing her. The same could not be said for my Mother and my Father but that's nothing new. My Mother's relationship with me is almost non-existent now and I can't say that I mind. Maybe we're better like this, talking when necessary. I suppose she's just lucky she got through the real parenting stage alive and without her cover blown because honestly, she's anything but fit to be a mother. No real mother tells their daughter pretty much every day that they're not good enough and a failure to this family; they don't tell them that they're disappointed in them because they haven't become a success as fast as their sister. It's hardly my fault that I can't sing and I don't particularly care that I can't. I'm surrounded by people who can and all I have to say is, good for them. Because I never desired to be a pop star anyway so why it was ever acceptable to compare my career success to Ellie's? I don't know. Because they're nothing alike. She's a pop sensation at 16 blah blah blah, good for her, I'm proud of her but that's what she likes to do, not what I like to do. I'm a fashion designer and photographer working in New York for ColorfulSecrets&Co they're both prestigious careers, maybe Ellie's is better and that's totally fine because I'm happy with mine. I don't want fame anyway.
I closed my eyes for a few seconds as I ran my fingers through my hair checking for any lingering conditioner but I could detect none so I shut the water off and wrapped a towel around my figure as I stepped out into the steamy en suite. I played with my hair around my shoulders and roughly done my parting. It was rather warm and sticky evening so I slipped into some shorts, a white tank top and pink blazer. Still love my blazers. I scraped my hair back as I applied minimal eye-liner and mascara in order to keep Niall and his lectures at bay and then blow dried my hair leaving it in natural blonde waves.
I listened as the faint but sure clicking of keys sounding through the walls and as I cautiously stepped out into the hall and let my eyes fall upon the closed and locked door and the light spilling out from underneath I concluded that indeed, Claire was in her room and the door was locked. Perfect. This would make it so much easier for Niall and I to sneak out tonight as long as the boys weren't hanging around as if Claire's door is locked at night and you can hear those keys going, you know, that she won't be coming out of there until morning.
I couldn't help but conclude that it was Liam's confrontation earlier that had sent her retreating to her room early. I mean, it was only human to be embarrassed after Liam so bluntly announced her feelings for Niall in front of everyone, including Niall. And now I felt a certain sense of satisfaction that she could indeed, be jealous of me. And I did have something to look down on her for. Niall was clearly not interested in Claire and Louis was right, because I'm his 'ex' girlfriend she automatically hates me because I have/had something that she never did or will and that, is the right to call Niall Horan my boyfriend and to say that we ever fell in love.
This thought mashed with the reminder that Niall and I were enduring a relationship again made a content smile tug at my lips, plus the excitement of going out somewhere, but really just anywhere, with him tonight.
I settled my smile into another so-so expression as I returned back downstairs the spicy smell of Niall's favourite takeaway filling my nostrils. I stopped for a minute at the bottom of the stairs their laughter already apparent. I sucked in a few deep breaths as I prepared myself to try my best to just eat without listening to the voices in my head telling me that doing this was anything but okay. I didn't want every conversation Niall and I had to revolve around eating habits of mine so I was determined to not give them a reason to as I tried to concentrate on the small amount of hunger that was lurking in my gut.
"Alright love? We saved you a decent amount."
Harry informed me as soon as I entered the room. I was a bit bewildered at the sight of what they had left for me and began to question what the definition of decent was to Harry. It was too much. But I was hungry. This was so guilt ridden but I suppose I had to do it, for the sake of eating publicly and warding off the threats of therapists for a while longer this was necessary. This is what normal people do with ease so it's what I have to teach myself to do. I have to teach myself to get better in public, if I want to avoid being labelled again.
I sat down on the floor in between Harry and Zayn as I began to slip the chicken between my lips cautiously over chewing and then gulping it down. Niall kept on glancing at me giving me small smiles with each piece I ate and at one point he slipped his hand to my leg underneath the coffee table our food was on again and let his fingers roam my inner thigh for a few seconds before finding my hand and giving it an assuring squeeze.
"Are you coming to the beach tomorrow Ash?"
Louis asked and Niall immediately shot his gaze up to mine giving me a look as I recalled our earlier conversation about how tomorrow we were going to spend some time together while they were all occupied with the beach. I didn't know what to say so I settled with an answer that would not be at all surprising for them and who they knew me as.
"I'm not sure. I have a lot of work to be getting on with..."
I fed the lie and they all seemed to buy it. Niall just remained silent putting on the act of she's-my-ex-girlfriend-so-we're-going-to-be-awkwardly-silent.
"Well I'm gonna go to bed. I hate eating late."
Louis commented pulling Harry up with him.
"I can eat all the time."
Niall chimed in and Louis smiled ruffling his hair a bit.
"I know you can Nialler.
He chuckled before tugging Harry and then Zayn with him as they went upstairs to bed. Then Niall got up too shooting me a look as he announced he was 'going to bed'. And then there were two.
"Aren't you going to sleep yet Liam? It's really late."
I questioned a bit concerned for mine and Niall's plan's to sneak out tonight.
"No, I'm Skyping with Danielle in a bit, I don't care what Claire has to say."
"Oh," I said shifting in my seat as I got up then. "Well have fun and tell her I said hi. See you tomorrow."
"Will do, sure, night Ash."
"Night Liam."
I echoed as I dragged myself up the stairs when halfway up receiving a text from Niall telling me to come his room so that's what I did knocking softly before entering. As soon as I closed the door behind me he instantly pulled me to him in a hug his lips pressing to my forehead.
"I thought they'd never go to bed."
He murmured into my hair and I smiled slightly as I leant back a bit looking up at him.
"Yeah well Liam's still down there, I don't think he's going to bed anytime soon, he's skyping with Dani."
"He's not allowed to do that is he..."
"Niall don't be a hypocrite. Look at us."
I giggled and he considered for a moment before nodding.
"True. Okay fair play to Liam then. We'll just have to go the other way..."
"The other way?"
"Yeah, you'll see. Are you ready? You'll want a jacket or something, it's freezing outside. Is this one alright? Or do you wanna wear the one you still have?"
He questioned and I immediately felt my cheeks heat up and he smirked as he pulled me back into him.
"It's okay I don't mind, it's cute. Just put this on and we'll go."
I still could feel myself blushing as I took the purple hoodie from him and pulled it over my head messing up my hair a bit but I suppose it didn't matter, it was dark anyway and it wasn't like Niall cared. That was another thing I loved about Niall, he didn't care if I didn't always look perfect.
I pushed up the sleeves a bit as they were too long as he took his hands in mine and smiled at me.
"You're so cute when you blush, you know that?"
He told me as I stood on my tiptoes while he rested his forehead on mine.
"Shut up."
"Okay. Now come along ma' lady, we're off to be spontaneous again but first we have to pass through the dreaded basement."
He chuckled dimming his light and leaving just his bedside lamp on as he shut the door behind us and we crept down the stairs. This was probably the closet we had cut it as Liam was right there in the lounge and we could hear him talking to Danielle. Niall held my hand tighter tensing a bit as the bottom step creaked but we remained silent as ever as we crept past the living room and he cracked open the door that I had always assumed to be a closet but was in fact, the stairs leading to the basement.
"Isn't there a light switch?"
I hissed as we closed the door behind us with a silent click.
"Nope."
He replied and I rolled my eyes even though he obviously couldn't see me as I could see literally nothing of him, I just knew he was there because his fingers were still entwined with mine.
"You better keep hold of my hand then."
I warned and he let out a quiet chuckle as we cautiously stepped down the first few steps.
"Don't worry babe I got you."
He assured and I bit my lip as we crossed the last few steps and the cold concrete greeted my feet.
A loud clanging of something falling down interrupted the silence and I froze immediately throwing myself into Niall's body in fear.
"Wh...What was that?!"
I whispered as I felt Niall's arms fold around my body tighter pulling me into him.
"I don't know...Maybe it was a GHOST!"
He yell whispered into my ear and I let out a shrill squeal instantly smacking my hand to my mouth as I did so jumping in his arms. He chuckled.
"Relax love I'm just messing. It was me kicking over the paint cans."
I sighed heavily as I placed my hand on my racing heart and stood up properly redeeming myself.
"You're an idiot, you know that?"
I rolled my eyes and I heard him chuckle lightly.
"I know. I'm sorry, I assure you that there is no such thing as ghosts and it's just me and you down here."
"There is."
I remarked.
"And why would that be?"
"There's a ghost in my room in London."
"Sure there is."
"I'm being serious! Pictures don't fall off the walls on their own..."
"No, they don't, it's called gravity love."
I rolled my eyes even though he couldn't see me.
"Shut up."
I shot back and he said nothing. I felt his arms envelope around my shoulders pulling me closer to him and I reacted almost instantly as I slid mine either side of his waist and rested my head on his chest.
"Wanna make me?"
He whispered against my skin. His lips felt feathery against my forehead and made me tingle a bit as they pressed a kiss to my skin before travelling down to mine. Before I had a chance to reply his lips had found mine as he leant over my shoulder kissing me softly. I smiled as they travelled down to my neck leaving electronic butterfly kisses on my skin. He still has this effect on me, it's so weird, yet it's so addicting.
"We should go. Before someone hears us."
I whispered pulling away from him slightly purely because I didn't really endure him making me melt right here right now, forbidden in the pitch black basement of the beach house.
"Spoil sport."
He chuckled but obeyed anyway placing his hands on my hips as he guided me forwards.
"Nobody can hear us down here anyway you know. They would have come down by now with your girl scream."
He teased and I gave him a playful nudge.
"Oh I get it girl scream cus I'm a girl. Oh yeah hilarious. Maybe if you hadn't scared me I wouldn't have screamed."
"I know, I don't know why I didn't become a comedian, but if I had then I never would have met you...so I guess my humorous talent will go to waste."
He whispered into my ear and I bit my lip smiling feeling a hint of a blush creeping at my cheeks and I was thankful it was dark.
"That was cheesy, but cute."
I mused still smiling and he chuckled pressing a few kisses to my neck again.
"I am cute."
He murmured as his lips lingered over my jawline switching in between my cheek and jaw.
"Sure you are."
I replied as I twisted my neck a bit making it easier for him to crash his lips to mine.
"I am, now come along Miss Dawson; the night's barely started yet."
He sing-songed and before I had a chance to think about forming my reply he had scooped me up and was hugging me close to his chest as he began to walk.
"Let me down."
I hissed against his t-shirt and I could feel his chest vibrating as he laughed.
"Fine, but only because I have to. There's a drop here so I hope you're feeling gymnastic today."
"Haha very funny Niall now would you please just put me down because-"
His hands slipped to underneath my shoulders and before I knew it I was dangling in mid-air. He wasn't lying.
"Ahh crap let me down!"
I squeaked and he laughed finally letting me go and my body fell a few more seconds before the cold concrete greeted my feet and a cool breeze whipped around me. I was outside?
"I told you. Now keep walking up, or crawl...and there's a ramp type thing and you'll be in the garden. I don't wanna jump on you..."
"Crawl?"
I raised my eye-brows.
"Yeah, crawl; just go it'll make sense once you get there... Right actually here, just stay there if you're that worried I've gotta flashlight on my phone. One sec."
He informed me and I sighed inwardly. So much fuss to get out un-noticed. It was going to be worth it though. The light was bright as he scanned it around the room and I was a bit unnerved at how creepy this place actually was. Un kempt for as well, spider webs and old bird cages cluttered everywhere...I can't believe I have just spent ten minutes in here with him doing nothing in particular but talking and kissing...
"See," He said. "Up there...Actually hold this and just move out the way and I'll go first."
He squatted down handing me his phone and I bent down onto the concrete shoving the flash up the narrow concrete ramp that I could now see did in fact lead to the garden.
"Ashley." He hissed and I abruptly stood back up moving the light back to him. "It's all very well you holding the light but you actually have to shine it this way."
"Sorry."
I blushed and he smiled squatting back down as he placed a hand on the concrete and then swung himself down from the ledge so he was level with me.
"I thought it was ladies first..."
I commented holding the light underneath my chin as I wiggled my eye-brows at him. He laughed as he moved some hair from my eyes and I resumed the light to normal.
"Nah that's just so I can stare at your ass."
He informed me and I rolled my eyes nodding curtly.
"Charming."
"I am charming. Think lucky, at least you have a nice ass."
He chuckled and I rolled my eyes as I motioned towards the exit we were planning on taking. What have I gotten myself into?
"Shut up and get a move on."
I instructed and he just carried on smiling.
"What? I was complementing you."
When I just looked at him he flashed me another smile and messed up my hair a bit giving me a wink as he bent down onto all fours and I almost laughed at him as he scrambled up the concrete and disappeared from my view.
"Your turn. And make sure no ghosts down there are checking out your bum as you go."
He laughed bending forward with his hands in his pockets.
"Shut up and help me."
I mused handing him his phone as I was very cautious as I bent down onto the ground and approached my task.
"Are you...Ooooh what is that?"
He got distracted almost straight away turning around and shining the light somewhere down the garden. For a moment I just sat there expecting him to turn around any second but he didn't and I sighed clearing my throat as he snapped to attention.
"Oh sorry." He chuckled. "Here."
He said holding out his hand which I took my expression remaining impassive as he yanked me up to ground level again.
"I told you we'd get out alive."
He mused turning off the flashlight on his phone and grabbing my hand pulling my body into immediate contact with his.
"With the amount of time that took, Liam has probably long gone to bed by now."
I said flatly and he smiled.
"Maybe, but you have admit it was rather interesting. And I got you in a dark basement all alone; I must be like the God of romantic."
"Oh yeah full of spider webs and you trying to freak me out, so romantic."
I shot back and he smiled pulling me closer to him and kissing my forehead.
"Oh I love you and your bluntness when I try to be funny."
I just looked up at him as his eyes searched mine and he continued to smile at me reaching up one hand and lightly tilting my chin up with a single finger.
"I love you too. And when you try to be funny...and for the record I think you'd be a wonderful and very cute comedian."
I grinned still keeping my gaze locked with his.
"See, I am cute. I'm your comedian cus I am just so damn hilarious, alright?"
"Yes," I said. "You are."
He smiled down at me his face inching closer to mine as he tilted my chin up a bit more and I began to stand on my tiptoes his lips brushing mine.
"Ash...Do me a favour and never leave me again? This whole different countries thing, we can work this out, okay?"
He asked looking at me with such seriousness that it made me feel guilty again. I deserved to feel guilty and I didn't deserve him but I was so happy that I had him again and now that I did, I was never going to let anyone or anything come between us again. I nodded ever so slightly.
"I wouldn't ever dream of it...I love you, a lot."
I told him my lips still grazing against his. He smiled his finger still tilting my chin up as we continued to stare at each other.
"Good," He said brushing hair from my eyes. "Because I love you a lot too."
I smiled now closing my eyes as he finally captured my lips with his in a soft, slow and meaningful kiss. Each and every second I was with him I got more addicted, craving more of him, then it hit me, what Ellie said was right. I need Niall. Me and Niall are supposed to happen.
"You do know..." I breathed as we broke apart. "That it's taken us about half an hour to get this far and we haven't even made it out the garden yet..."
"I know. You should be ashamed of yourself; it's your fault for distracting me. So come on and stop being so beautiful little miss negative."
"I am not little miss negative." I pouted. "I'm just realistic."
"I know you're not, I'm just messing love. But maybe you should stop being so realistic, forget everything else for once and just have fun with me tonight?"
He suggested and I felt a small blush creep onto my cheeks. This was true and it would be really nice to just forget everything else and be totally spontaneous with Niall tonight.
"Sounds like a plan."
I stated and he smiled squeezing my hand and leaning in to kiss me again. Just as his lips were about to meet mine a cold spurt of water hit us splashing onto my cheek and I winced a bit at the coldness and we both pulled away looking around us for the cause of the liquid and when I looked around the garden I realised that indeed, all the sprinklers had turned on and were spraying water everywhere.
Our clothes were already nearing sopping and I could just feel my hair beginning to curl up at the ends already and I was pretty sure my make-up was running but we just stayed standing there starting at each other and Niall gave in to the small smile curling at his lips.
"Eh, stuff it I'm kissing you."
He told me and before I had time to laugh, smile or anything his lips were back in contact with mine kissing me slightly harder and urgent than before. I smiled into the kiss as I melted my lips away from his and we looked around us and he grabbed my hand and we laughed as we sprinted down the side of the house away from the sprinklers and down onto the beach.
As soon as we made it to the shore he instantly replaced his hands onto my hips slamming my body straight into his as he pressed his lips against mine pulling me closer with each second that hastily passed as his lips moved with mine.
"Calm down Nialler."
I giggled as we broke apart and I rested my forehead against his letting my fingers tousle in his blonde locks. He simply smiled and I took this moment to study really how beautiful he was. He told me I was beautiful but really, he was the perfect one himself. His eyes were just so...mesmerizing and his pale complexion was perfect with his ocean blue eyes and blonde hair of a similar shade to mine.
"I love you Ash."
He murmured against my lips and I smiled as I placed my arms around his neck and he drew me closer to him as I leaned up onto my tip-toes letting my lips brush over his skin and linger by his ear.
"I love you too." I whispered. "We should do this more often."
He smiled at this replacing his finger underneath my chin as he tilted it so my lips were in line with his again his eyes searching mine.
"That was what I was planning on." He agreed and I grinned. "Wanna walk up the beach a bit? There's this really nice café and it's always dead quiet around there at night. Because I'm hungry and we're not going back inside yet, it's too risky."
"Is it that one by the dock?"
I questioned cocking my head to the side slightly and he smiled nodding.
"Yeah, you been there?"
"No, I've just walked past. It looks really nice though, sure, let's go."
I agreed tugging at his hand as I began to walk but he pulled me back almost straight away.
"Kiss me first for my brilliant idea first then idiot."
He mused and I smiled placing my arms back around his neck as we closed the gap between our lips and I savoured the feel knowing that in another eight hours or so, we weren't going to be allowed to do this again for the remainder of tomorrow's day and I hated that, but we were lucky we even got this blissful time together.
"Come on or we're not going to have time."
I told him pulling away and redeeming my feet to flat on the ground again as I laced my fingers with his tightly tugging him along slightly.
"Time obsessed you are. I'm quite happy to stay out here all night with you if that's how long it takes us to get there and back you know."
"I am not time obsessed."
I objected and he gave me a look which I crumbled another wincing as I refused to check the time on my phone again.
"I'm not!"
I protested and he smirked.
"Ashley admit it, you are. You're so freaking organised and you know why? Because you're obsessed with time, I'm not saying it's a bad thing. In fact it's probably a good thing because I'm scarcely so much less organised than you, but I'm just saying."
"I like being organised." I told him. "I like to know where everything is and to know that everyone is in the right place at the right time and that all deadlines are met. Loose ends pis me off to a death and I cannot stand it when someone doesn't get back to you on time. You start something, you finish it, neatly. Okay? There, I admitted it. Happy now?"
He just looked at me for a moment a smile curling at his lips that he had just got me to admit all of this.
"Thank you." He said. "To be honest Ash, I'm kinda glad that you're so bloody organised because you can do my entire organisation for me."
He nodded proud with this conclusion. I looked at him seriously questioning his level of intellect if he thought I'd be able to cope with not just the whole organisation schedule of One Direction, my own, Claire's and keeping on top of work at ColorfulSecrets&Co, if he was going a bit off his rocker.
"Dream on Horan. I manage enough people's schedules as it is. Including my own."
"Half those people you hardly even know and you can't spare an ounce of your organisation skills for me? Your cute, comedian, Irish boyfriend..."
He pouted playfully and I rolled my eyes.
"What do you want me to do?"
"Kiss me..."
"Niall."
I stated sternly and he chuckled.
"Oh, organisation wise you know what my rooms like...but right now, I'd like you to kiss me."
"Your room is pretty b-"
I was cut off by his lips crashing into mine and being the foolish person I am I instantly gave in letting myself melt into the kiss and my fingers tangle in his hair as his roamed my sides and cheekily slipping down to my bum once or twice.
"You can't tell me that wasn't a lot better than what you were about to say."
He mumbled the feeling of his skin still electronic against mine.
"You're a cheeky one, you know that Nialler?"
"And you're a beautiful blonde haired, time obsessed freak...who I love with all my heart."
"Idiot." I mumbled and he smiled looking at me in an indescribable but rather cute fashion. "But I love you too."
He then pressed his lips to mine again for a few seconds and as they continued to move in sync he slid his hands further down my body and his hands replaced playfully on my inner thigh before moving further down so they were behind my knee caps and then as he distracted me with our kiss he began to lift me up and before I could process what was happening my ballet pumps had fallen off and cold and sharp water was submerging my feet and I squealed as I pulled away it now becoming apparent that I was at least ankle depth in the water.
"Swim with me."
He said already beginning to pull off his own top and for a moment I just looked at him to the water and then back to him.
"Niall it's freezing!"
I protested and he shrugged.
"I heard that if you just stay really close to me then we won't get so cold."
"Okay," I agreed as I pulled his hoodie that I was wearing over my head. "But I'm not going in my underwear. I'll just keep this top on..."
He looked me up and down sensing my discomfort with this situation of him seeing my body outside of baggy clothes. He bit his lip his smile now fading as he took my hands in his own.
"Sure," He said. "You do that."
I winced a bit feeling suddenly self-conscious as I slipped out of my shorts and left them on the sand pulling my tank top down so it covered at least half of my bum. Niall kept a firm grip on my hand as we waded further out the light from the moon the only thing that allowed us to see each other. But we'd been in the dark for so long now our eyes were adjusted to the lack of light anyway.
"It's freezing Niall!"
I hissed as we got to the point where the water was almost covering my chest and the necklace was dipping in and out of the water as I slowly crouched down further letting my body melt into his as he slid his arms over my hips holding me close to him.
"Well then stay here a little longer and you'll be so numb you won't even feel it anymore."
He grinned and I rolled my eyes.
"I'm joking, but seriously, you'll get used to it."
He chuckled pressing a few kisses to my cheek over my shoulder. I smiled as I relaxed in his embrace. I wanted this forever. We hadn't been back together for long but really, with this and our eight months together last year I knew what I wanted, and it was him, all mine forever.
"Ash..."
He breathed about five minutes later, and he was actually right, the water appeared to be getting warmer the longer we stayed there. Or maybe it was just the sheer coldness making me go numb, either way; I had no problem staying like this for a while.
"Mmm hmm."
I hummed urging him to continue as I turned my head to look at him but instead he slid his hands back down to my waist and shifted my completely so I was facing him with my legs resting loosely around his waist.
"I know you still have it."
He told me and I furrowed my brow looking back up to the house and wondering if anyone could see us right now. I sincerely hoped they couldn't.
"Have what?"
"The picture, silly."
He mused smiling at me as he rested his forehead against mine wrapping a loose and damp curl around his finger. I didn't know what to say and I could already feel a blush filling my cheeks as I bit my lip avoiding his gaze. He chuckled forcing me to look back at him as he smiled inching closer so his lips were touching mine and he pecked them for the merest of a second before resuming to just staring at me again.
"It's okay. I think it's cute and you know why? Because I still have it too and I'm cute."
"You're an idiot, you know that?"
I giggled and he smiled bringing his lips closer to mine again and giving my hand a squeeze.
"I know...Hey Ash, um, how much do you love this?"
He asked timidly bringing the pendent from the water and holding it in his palm as we both looked down at it and I was yet again mesmerized by it's beauty. Not just because it was gold and silver with sparkling little diamonds and it was so detailed with each bit of love etched into it, but because he gave it to me, that's what really made it so amazing, so beautiful.
"Honestly? A lot. You could have given me a 50p ring for all I care and I would still love it just as much, but this, it's lovely Niall, and I love it a lot, because you gave it to me. Besides, what do you think? I haven't taken it off since."
He just looked at me for a moment and he smiled brushing more hair from my eyes.
"Really?"
"Really."
"I love you."
He breathed pulling me even closer to him and I bit my lip letting the presence of those words savour in the air as he spoke them, I never thought I'd hear him say them to me again, only in past tense but now here we were, re-living our relationship like it never went wrong and to me, and I hoped him too, that was pretty beautiful. How so many things could go wrong, so many things could be against us and there were so many imperfections in the time we could spend together, and we were still so happy, despite all the things that still weren't right in this crazy world.
"I love you too."
"You know this is un-believable, right? For me."
"What is?"
"Us. It's just really nice to have you back Ash; I never thought I'd get someone like you back."
"I don't even have to say how I thought the same about you..."
"Just so you know, even if Claire or anyone does find out, I don't care because I'm staying with you. Nobody's dragging you away from me this time, okay?"
"Fine by me. Completely and utterly...fine by me."
I breathed but his lips were already in contact with mine making the end of my sentence muffled as they began to move against mine and all reality sunk into nothing and it was just me him, with our backs turned against the world. Amercing ourselves in nothing but each other as we slipped into our world, our world of cliché and blessed love blind to any reality.
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A/N.
I think this chapter is cute:')
like awh
hehe
i will tell you what is not cute though,
that when we went to Cardiff the night we stayed there the next morning this girl came down to breakfast the next morning with 2 love bites on her neck like seriously you're 13. And they were not there when she arrived. And her and her 'boyfriend' were in our group for the tour of the castle and they hardly even talked and the boyfriends repsponse to some girl asking if they had had sex was "Yeah of course we have, you know we have." I despair with some people in my generation.
so this morning the guy I've been texting text me saying Morning beautiful and at first I was like awh but now I'm like wary because I don't wanna lead him on and stuff cus I don't want a boyfriend:3 and I'm gonna feel really bad if he asks me out. :/ but honestly though I never thought a guy could look at me and think oh she's pretty :3
anyway.
I guess I'll see you for another upload tomorrow between half six and half seven PM GMT(:
see yas.
-Emily.