a/n: the author has a plan, i repeat; ground control knows what they're doing!
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"what is it tony?" steve asked with a furrow in his voice. an orange, golden snark appeared on the youngest man's face. chuckling and leaning on the door frame, letting fear take over his completion's undertone.
"looks like fun, i probably should have walked in sooner, maybe steve's back would be broken and somehow he'd still be kissing you because obviously he'd never stop." he stated with his signature snark, steve rolled his eyes, bucky held back laughter.
"what do you want tony?" steve asked again, the undertone of fear washed over him, with different soap then the soap that "washed" bucky.
"the kid fell asleep again, he's breathing fine, is that okay?" he asked, bucky looked at steve with a smile, a genuine smile. one with no cracks in the glass.
"tony, you're talking to two meant who were frozen in ice and lived. of course he's okay. why are you so rattled?" steve replied, bucky's laughter in sugar let out of his mouth. bringing a smiling to steve's face. tony glared at the oldest of the two in front of him, steve glared back. the two weren't exactly on a good word yet. no one knows if they'd ever will be.
"i know what's happening. he feels like a father figure, and he doesn't want to admit it." bucky stated. steve and tony looked at each other with round eyes, then darted to bucky, who tugged at steve tighter from the rush of ice from the attention. tony stood there defeated in shock, steve looked at him and understood completely.
"it's okay if you feel that way tony, i felt that way about this guy my whole life until the serum. it's okay, i promise this is normal." bucky assured, steve was shocked that he even dared to talk to tony, who looked at him in disgust, but defeat.
"well i'm not too normal of a guy barnes." tony snapped back, bucky sighed, sitting on his bed.
"me neither, do you think that this," bucky moves his stump, "is normal? being traumatized and brainwashed and living out from the forties to now? is that normal? god no, but no matter what i'm human in some form, mentally at the least. so i'll be damned if you're not at least human enough to feel it too." bucky explained, tony sulked against the doorway, the green in his eyes glowing frequently. taking in what the man in front of him explained. tony looked over his shoulder, not wanting to face the truth that spoke in front of him.
there was a pause, the three were silent as the wind hit itself against the window lightly, creating a soothing feeling. a nice light orange floating in the room. as the tension couldn't be cut. tony sighed, steve got up from bucky's side, hugging the man who couldn't accept mortality. like voldemort, only not as evil at all.
"it's okay tony." he stated, tony sniffed and started to cry into steve's shoulder. bucky sat on the bed in sympathy.
"n-no it's not." he replied, steve rubbed his back, just like he did when bucky woke up in the night.
"yes it is." he fought back, steve hugged him harder, a pain his bucky's chest as the pain swam in him, he couldn't drown his demons. not even if he wanted to, they knew how to swim. tony's sunk him underwater, and didn't even know it.
"stop fighting it with denial tony it's only going to make it worse than it already is." steve clapped, tony looked at him, sighing and laying his head into his chest, needing someone urgently. steve knew it was bothering bucky. a red fist forming in bucky's hand. he didn't mean it at all, jealousy just punched him in the gut.
"tony, go back into the living room, please." steve stated, tony looked up at him and just nodded, bucky felt the uncomfort that fled through him from that move. the grits of rocks and sand sediments covering him, trying to wash it off. he knew the feeling all too well. steve turned back to bucky, engulfing him in a small kiss and a blanket hug.
"i know hush." he stated, bucky stayed silent, hugging him easily.
"thank you steve." bucky stated, steve placed his lips into bucky's neck, bucky cocked his head back in steve's favor.
"stop thanking me buck, there's no reason to." steve said, bucky sighed, getting out of steve's grip, running his hands through the top of his hair, making his bun more knotted by far.
"why can't it just go away?" he asked, not to anyone in particular either. steve didn't want to touch him, knowing bucky would flinch and fly backward into the ice of fear.
"because it's meant to stick." steve replied, bucky didn't look up.
"well i want the sticker off please. or the glue, whatever it is." he said, steve sighed.
"sadly, it doesn't work like that." steve said, "you never know how long you'll have it for though."
"what's that supposed to mean?" bucky asked, looking up in an orange, green, blue gaze.
"well, we're old. aren't we going to die soon?" steve asked, bucky shrugged, falling back onto the bed.
"naturally, no. but sometimes, i feel so lost in this world i just want to." bucky stated. steve sighed, falling back as well, beside bucky.
"me too buck, me too."
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"mr. barnes sir, can i have that blanket over there?"
bucky turned around, some hair falling out of the messy bun on the back of his head as he did so, like vines from trees. he nodded, grabbing it from where he kept a majority of his blankets, as he had many. he threw them all on top of him as he slept to keep him from punching the air from nightmares.
"here." he stated, laying the blanket over the teenager.
"thanks." peter replied, he brought his knees to his chest, looking around the small cottage. he'd be leaving the next day. it'd been quiet in the small hut by the river, but no one noticed. it was peaceful. a beautiful sky blue.
"what was it like in the forties?" peter asked, suddenly. purple, but not lilac. bucky turned back toward him, leaning against a doorway.
"well for one thing, we lived off of radios and old cameras." he stated, peter's moony blue eyes were like steve's, but they had more green in them. it didn't intrigue bucky, even if they were filled with more green.
"well i thought that, but like, how was it. how was the world around you? was everyone trying to get a girl? did they care?" he asked, bucky sighed, scratching his scalp.
"well, there was a lot of crimes, girls swooned over me. it was very different. everyone hated each other, if you were different at least. steve got beat up a lot, i usually fought for him, protected him. it was a different time. now you get arrested for beating someone up. everything was settled in a fight when i was young." bucky stated, peter turned orange, blue, green.
"why did you have to protect steve?" he asked, bucky forgot that no one knew him before the war.
"well, he wasn't always that hot." bucky said, peter laughed, making bucky smile pink, "he had bad health and was really short. he had to wear newspapers in his shoes so they wouldn't fall off. i had to look out for him."
"i'd never imagine it." peter said, bucky nodded.
"yeah, much different time. if two guys were caught kissing they could've been killed right then and there. they'd put you in hell before they could tell you to go there yourself." bucky said, peter's face turned grim, the world was much more pink, but the crimson undertone was ready to kill at any moment. opposite generations. it was a new world. shiny like silver.
"that's... unimaginable." peter stated, bucky crossed his one arm, forgetting he didn't have his other anymore.
"yeah. it happened. it wasn't good." he stated, peter nodded, steve chuckled, the two darted their heads over to him. he went over to bucky, leaning on the wall beside him.
"talking about the forties? you should go put on jazz and slow dance." steve stated, bucky laughed, his cheeks flushing rosy.
"yeah, i'll go call those sisters. dal and sal, right?" he asked, steve nodded.
"they were probably the most kind woman id met back then." save said, peter looked up at them. tadpole to frog. pluto to neptune.
"oh yeah, and woman only wanted to impress the guys until they could find one. it got really annoying." bucky stated to peter, steve nodded.
"yes, and most of them left me so fast i didn't even take them in. sal was probably the only one who stayed with me. we were young, what? fifteen?" steve asked. bucky nodded.
"yeah, you were this kid's age. it was at charlie's, right, yeah. and we were pushed out of the shop when they closed. your mom was terrified. she thought you go beat up." bucky stated, steve looked over at him in remembrance. surprised bucky even knew about that.
"yeah, and you assured her that if anyone touched me you'd kill them." steve said, peter laughed at this. the two older men laughed as well, and smiled at the young boy.
"yeah, we were reckless teenagers." he said, peter looked up at them once more.
"that sounds really cool. new york was that bad?" he asked, the two looked at him as if he were clueless.
"yes." they said at the same time, laughing afterword.
steve wrapped his arm around bucky's waste, leaning into his side. peter loved the sight, knowing how long it took to become a reality. there was a loud knock at the door, bucky let himself go, walking towards the door in a swing-beat fashion. tony was at the door, with a few wakandan doctors.
"hey solider, where's the kid." he said, bucky raised an eyebrow.
"on the couch, he's not supposed to leave until tomorrow." bucky stated, hard to the ground. like rocks
"yeah, they can take him early, let em in." he said, bucky sighed, opening the door and letting the doctors in. one of them stopped at the door way, handing bucky a bottle.
"this is for the trauma. it's tested to work, we'll check on you with it soon." she stated, bucky nodded eagerly, clutching the bottle with fire in his grip, letting the doctor in and shutting the door, looking back and seeng peter stand up, pushing the weighted blanket to the side as they held him from the sides.
"thank you." one of them stated, bucky nodded.
"you're welcome." he stated, leading them all to the door swiftly, with sky blue and white in his step. steve looked on in interest, as they left and the small hut was silent once again. bucky went over to the couch, folding the heavy blanket once more and putting it int the pile in the corner, where all of the blankets lay folded in a pile.
steve took bucky's hand, twirling him and wrapping a hand to his waste, swaying him back and forth in a dancing motion. he was supposed to do this with peggy, but it was as if she gave him permission, told him to do it with bucky even. something so green in the air, the army green that she showed so much in the war.
steve began humming a song that he liked from the modern era. sky blue with pink, but all tinted white. bucky leaned in, being shorter than steve, his head lay on the younger man's shoulder. he rocked him back and forth, singing the song softly. natasha showed him the song, thinking that he'd like it with his "disgusting and gushy" music taste as she called it. bucky never minded it, as he loved it when steve sang. like a blue bird, the breeze on a hot day. soothing.
"what song is it?" bucky whispered, steve smiled and kissed his forehead.
"amazing day." he stated, bucky shrugged leading steve into a twirl.
"never heard of it." he stated, steve smiled.
"nat showed me it.'" he said.
"makes sense, she hates the lyrics you like." bucky joked, steve playfully rolled his eyes. the oceans rolling along it's own floor. he continued to hum the song, bucky leading the dance, as steve hardly knew how to all these years later.
"the doctor gave me medication." he stated, steve's oceans grew to the size of the pacific. not knowing at all what it meant.
"for what?" he asked in orange, green, blue; confusion.
"trauma. nightmares, all of that. they finally had a successful one." he said, steve sighed shakily, not knowing why. but he did, he just didn't want to admit it.
"are you going to take it?" he asked hoarsely.
"yes, i have to, i'll get better steve." bucky said, reaching out to run fingers through his hair.
"i want you to get better, just remember the last time-" "they wouldn't do that again, trust it steve. i promise." bucky said, "my decision."
"i know, i still worry about you buck." steve stated, bucky nodded in understanding.
"i know, but i can make my own decisions steve, i'll be okay. trust me." he stated, steve stood still, hugging bucky tight.
"i do. don't worry."
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THIS WAS A TOTAL FILLER NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE BETTER. RISING TO THE CLIMAX. STAY TUNED- spooky