Three
I realised Harry actually spent a lot of time with his mother, it was good to know that so I could just ask him to spend time with his mum instead of making up stories. And I realised Harry was always by himself. It was sad to see that and so I decided to be his girlfriend for a longer time.
"Why are you always alone?" I asked him on phone after school one day. Talking on phone with Harry was easier because he would stutter less.
"I don't know," Harry said. "My friends are in universities, but you will see them when they come back for Christmas. They don't really talk to me now, and when they do, I don't understand what they are talking about."
I nodded, "That's not very nice of them. I would feel sad about it too."
"Don likes my mum too much," Harry said, I couldn't hear the sound of the television in the phone anymore. "He is stealing my mum."
"Is he?" It sounded funny.
"I bet he is," Harry's voice was quiet. "He came home the other day, his hair was wet. I don't know where he has been, and he talked to my mum in the kitchen, and they laughed all night."
"Maybe Don went to find some floating ships under the water," I suggested hopefully.
"He is seducing my mum," his voice was fierce. "he helps her to clean and sometimes works in the shop."
I liked the name of the shop. It was called Wonder Petal and Harry's family name was Wonder.
"Mum wants to meet you," Harry's voice was bright again.
"I'd like to meet her too!" I told him excitedly.
"Really?" Harry asked. He didn't believe it. Me neither. After a while, he said, "I missed you today."
"You know I do too," I told him. "I think I'll like her, your mum."
"Do you, like, Don likes, you know..." Harry asked nervously. "He doesn't like middle age women, does he? I will beat him up if he does."
We talked and I hanged up when the door was opened. There was Max, holding pretty white flowers. Daisies.
Max struggled into the flat and put the flowers on the table. He looked exhausted. His chocolate hair looked messy.
I clapped, "Flowers for Anne!"
"Nope, these are yours," Max frowned at me. "Someone left them to the neighbours and they handed them to me just now."
"For me?"
"From Harry, isn't it?" Max ran his fingers through the little white things. "We don't have a vase."
"We have lots of water bottles for recycling. Don't say anything to Harry for me, I will have to thank him romantically," I said and took out one from the cupboard. There wasn't any card or note. Max filled the bottle with flowers.
"You should be a florist," I told Max. "And you should buy Anne flowers."
"Okay," Max smiled at me. I waited.
"Tommy has bought me flowers too. Once." I said. "They smelled amazing."
Max turned around to put the bottle. "Nah he didn't. He picked them from the park while I distracted the guards."
"Is that true? You guys must be quick!" I grinned.
Max nodded. I wished he would look at me.
"What about the other time -"
"Nah I don't wan-"
"No remember that time we were racing towards that -"
"Why do you always have to talk about him?" Max looked at me at last. He looked ten times more exhausted and angry.
"Because you don't," I said, "and so I have to." Max didn't speak when he tidied the falling empty plastic bottles.
"Anne was happy about I quit smoking," Max said softly then. "It's going to be worth it."
Max opened the refrigerator and put the milk and cheese in.
"Yes," I passed Max the meat. "Harry's mum wants to meet me. I don't want to go."
"Meet his mum? You haven't been together for long," Max closed the refrigerator. "Anyway his mum is nice, I've met her. Why don't you want to go?"
"Because she will never be like Mrs Knit."
"There won't be anyone like Mrs Knit," Max said, "or him, and Minnie, I don't want to talk about this. I am serious."
"Okay." It was not okay. "Do you want to eat cookies? Anne left a pack here last time."
"Sure." We ate for a while before Max spoke again. "When mum and dad came, I want them to meet Anne and Harry. Then they'll know what we can handle and everything."
"Should I go and work? The cash we took from home is running out," I said. "I heard you talking to Anne. I can work in shops, and I can help paying the rent and the stuff."
I didn't like our talking, and cookie tasted like rotten blueberries. Both of us sounded heavy when we talked about it.
"It can't make up for what happened to you, can it? I made that happen, I let you came that night." Max threw the cookie in his hand to the rubbish bin, "This is disgusting. Don't tell Anne I said that."
"Don't worry about me," Max said and he smiled at me. It was just his lips. Max went into his room.
I was worrying.
I thought meeting my parents would terrify Harry, I wanted him to be terrified. But Harry said he'd pick up my parents from the train station with his mother's car, and he'd washed the car two days twice before that. Harry said his mother couldn't drive. She lost her driving license. I waited for Harry at Wonder Petal, he had just got off from his shift.
Wonder Petal was glassy, and there were all kinds of flowers. Harry asked me to sit behind the counter because there were less bees. He remembered I didn't like bees.
Zara, Harry's mum, was a tall woman with short light hair. She hugged me when she saw me.
"Minnie? All he talks about is you," she had a sweet voice. She had blue eyes.
"Mum, don't, like, don't make me like..." Harry started his annoying stuttering. "Just be nice to her, please."
"Of course," Zara kissed his forehead before Harry sprinted upstairs to change into something nice. They lived right above the shop. Harry looked like a tomato with sandy hair, it was funny but I didn't laugh.
"He is so lucky to have found you," Zara had dimples like Harry I realised.
I smiled to Zara. It felt like an adult, formal thing suddenly.
"He's a great kid," Zara looked like she was looking at the far Pacific Ocean, because her eyes looked glassy. "He's got really good grades, of course he'd studied very hard. He could be a doctor, or a barrister. But more than that, he's a nice and good kid. He likes to bake and cook. My boy found a recipe from his school library when he was having his detention. He got into a fight and he made someone into the hospital, it was an accident. You know kids like to call each other names and someone called some him a, a loser.
"And then he baked his first cake on his own for my birthday. He was nine. He kept shouting, 'back off, mum, please. I can bake it', and I just knew he was a natural," Zara said.
"Harry doesn't like Don, he thinks Don is stealing you away," I said.
Zara scowled at me with surprise.
"What is Don?" I asked quickly, "I mean who exactly is he? Why is he living with you?"
"A family friend," Zara smiled again, she had really deep dimples, "I knew him since he was born. I've known his father for ages. I understand why Harry would feel this way, but Donald is a gentle kid. People just need time to know somebody."
Harry was walking downstairs with a white shirt and ironed jeans that I had never seen before. He had put on product in his hair so it was standing up. I could smell his cologne.
"Come home later if you want, handsome," Zara hugged Harry before we left. Harry looked uncomfortable in his clothes.
"What do you think about my mum?" Harry asked me.
"She's super nice, I like her," I beamed at Harry. The engine started soon. There was a photo of Harry and Zara sticking bear the wheel.
"You're really happy about it," I decided to point out.
Harry didn't reply, but he rolled down the window.
"I could just look at you when you came, and I was sure you didn't like me," Harry said, "and I'm with you. Now. I'm really here with you. We're here in the same car."
"Thank you for the flowers," I said shyly.
"What flowers?"
"Nothing," I smiled to him and kissed his cheek, "some company sent us flowers. I thought it was you." I was not disappointed that it wasn't Harry. Maybe it could be some mysterious strangers with surprises! Strangers that followed me, that seemed pretty scary suddenly.
"Do you want flowers?" Harry asked. "I can get you flowers. Roses or hydrangeas or daffodils. I think mum would let me have some of her peonies or if you want hyacinths - we have to turn back now. I should get you flowers, I've never bought you flowers before."
"My friend Tommy likes chrysanthemums," I said. "But we have to pick up my mum and dad right now."
"They are very colourful," Harry said. "Okay, we would pick them up and I would get you flowers."
"No, we have the lunch to attend," I said. I was looking forwards to eating with my parents. I hoped we all could be loving enough to finish the lunch without breaking anything.
"Max doesn't talk about them," Harry said, "and you don't too."
"You're meeting them anyway," I said. "They're parents, but not like Zara. They make things more complicated, it's their hobby."
"What a strange hobby," Harry said.
Harry said something about the lunch later, but I didn't stop thinking about the flowers and how colourful and fake they were. Who sent me the flowers?
"Why don't you live with your parents?" I heard Harry asked.
I was going to be mute so he wouldn't ask again. But avoiding questions was not a boyfriend and girlfriend thing, so I thought of some other things. "If I lived with them back in Redford, I would have met you. We wouldn't be together."
"Right," Harry said. He seemed to like the answer.
My parents were standing next to the taxi station with their luggage. Nothing changed about them. Dad's red hair was getting less and less and mum got chubbier. Wrinkles on her cheeks left deeper lines despite the makeup foundation. I was grateful that they wanted to hug me.
Mum changed her perfume. Harry offered his hand.
"Hi, I am Harry Wonder," he said.
"Your boyfriend," mum said. She smiled to him.
"Your brother did not bother to see us," dad said.
"Max is cooking something for you," I said. Harry took the luggage and we made it to the car without much arguments except mum's opinion on my clothing. I liked my patterned dress nevertheless. No one said anything in the car. They rolled down the window and dad was looking around. I knew mum was expecting a more expensive car.
"Was the trip coming here okay?" Harry asked. He spoke in a tone that I'd never heard of. It displeased my ears.
"It was fine, thank you," dad replied. "I hope, by all means, you do not live with my daughter."
"No, sir," Harry said. "She lives with Max, and I work with him. Max makes brilliant food. You can have lunch with us before going to the hotel. Minnie can show you the place they live."
"Right," I said. The clouds were getting clear above, I noticed, and I wondered why I wasn't in a ship with crews drinking beer but a vehicle with three grown up.
"Lunch sounds nice," mum said. "And who is Anne? Are we going to meet her?"
"She is Max's girlfriend," Harry said. "She studies drama in university."
"She wants to be an actress," dad stated.
"Well, we see this kind of girl all the time , don't we?" Mum checked her Blackberry, "now I wonder what she wants from our boy."
"I don't think he has much," dad continued the guessing game. "How about just ruining his life? Like that old friend you have? What's his name? Thomas? I heard he is still working in that pizza shop."
"I've seen him - lurking in the street like a rat, wasting tax payer's money and making -" mum began.
I was quite sure Tommy was not a rat. He was a dove. He could be one, soaring in the sky.
"Anne loves Max just the way he is," I said. I sounded steady, but it felt like a hurricane was in my brain, flooding, blowing and breaking, and I was clutching a streetlamp, battling to stay in the calm cyclone.
"I see moving away with Max does not improve your manner," mum said. "Has the school taught you anything?"
"I've learnt about the property of circles and probability and factorisation and approximation and fractions and permutation -" I said.
"Minnie," I heard dad's tiny, rat like voice.
"- combination and statistical diagrams and Hamlet -"
"Minnie!" Together both of my parents sounded like mice with two heads.
"- and Othello and Heart of Darkness," I said. The car stopped, we had arrived.
"Anyone would like some champagne? I know exactly where to get some good stuff," Harry said loudly and no one replied him. I got off the car and took my parents' luggage out. I remembered leaving the hospital.
I was called a "shame" and Max was a "rotten shame".
"I'm sorry it turned out like this," Max's voice was hoarse, I didn't want to hear that. But I did, in my head, and it was so loud that even the beauty of the blue sky against the building could not distract me. Max's face was red, it wasn't that drunk kind of red I'd always seen. Max looked like a scared boy who was doing more crying than he was allowed.
I was starting to sweat, and I remembered some red - tongued light.
"Minnie?" I heard Harry's voice, "you look pale."
"Take the luggage up, won't you?" Harry nodded, and in that shirt, he didn't look like Harry.
I remembered I hadn't said anything for three days, and people were looking at me. It terrified Max and he asked me to leave with him. For good. And life in Redford became history. My page should have stopped mouths ago, I realised, and it suddenly hurt to remember that I was still breathing but everyone weren't the way they were.
I went inside the house, and Max was in the checked apron Bonn gave him. Anne grinned warmly and the hugs were uncomfortable, everyone was too busy to move. Dad's eyes dotted around. He didn't like it I supposed, because his office was bigger than our flat.
"It's cheap," Max explained, "dad."
"Lunch is on its way!" Anne said with a peachy smile. She was so pretty, like everyone else in the house. Suddenly the little flat became a show room of simulated goods.
"Make yourself home," Max said and he returned to his cooking, and I realised he was actually arranging the plates from new to old to old to new.
Mum sat down on the couch, flipping my History textbook. Dad was checking his email. Harry glanced at me and I pretended I didn't see it.
"Are you okay?" Harry asked me quietly.
"Yep," I smiled.
"Should I try to talk to them?" Harry asked. "I won't stutter, I promise. This is important to you."
I looked forward to meeting them, but it was not important. Yet, Harry made his brave step.
Harry sat down in front of my parents, "so," he cleared his voice, "Winnie, I never knew what you do for living."
"I prefer Mrs Daze," I heard them. I wanted to hide in the cupboard, and I imagined myself in a busy city. There were tall buildings and people walked past without saying anything. I was standing in the rushing city of New York, and I could see the Time Square.
"Sure, Mrs Daze," Harry said.
"I am a model agent," mum said. "My husband is a photographer."
"Wow," Harry was really impressed, because he didn't speak for a moment.
Now I was looking at the signs outside Broadway, and I saw Anne's name there, high and bright. Lights of the building got brighter. Spiderman's girlfriend performed on that stage too, and Max was certainly a Spiderman with apron.
"What do you major?" dad asked.
"I bake in a cafe," Harry said. The pride in his voice brought a warmth spreading over my body.
I tried to picture Texas, but I couldn't because I could only see farmhouses and I hated farmhouses. So I returned to the dull flat.
"Both of them are brilliant bakers," I said, and put the dining tools on the table.
Anne was the next. It was unbearable to listen, like she was doing something terrible. Like she was standing in a court now. Judging was my parents' second hobby and I was glad they didn't end up being judges for law and public.
Max was holding the kitchen towel so tight that I could see the outline of his veins.
When it came to a point that we were willing to speak again, Max turned on the radio, the DJ's voice was smoothing. Mum and dad did not complain the food because it was fabulous. Anne and Max collected the dishes and I volunteered to wash them. Harry and Max lined up against the wall in the room.
"Max loves your cookies," I told Anne, "you remember the one you left?"
"He did?" Anne said, "I've some more, I am so happy that he likes it. It's my favourite brand."
I nodded.
"They hate me," Anne whispered.
"They hate everyone," I whispered back.
"They are your parents," Anne said.
"How was Minnie like when she was a kid?" Harry sounded really different today.
"She was alive, innocent," mum said. I felt everyone's gaze was on me, and I thought of getting ice cream later. It made me feel better. "She was like an angel," mum said.
"She is still an angel to me," Max said louder than he needed.
"A scarred one all thanks to her big brother who took care of her too well," mum said.
I breathed like a dead person, and I turned around. I didn't want to scare my boyfriend away, it was difficult to find someone who liked me. I smiled at them.
"I left something back in Jen's earlier," I said, and I glanced at the door, it looked like a mouse hole. "I am going to get it, and you'd do some catch up."
"I'll get it -" Max said.
"No, I'll be back soon. Have fun talking about me, and this time I am really gone and you can talk about me to your heart's content." I beamed at them before leaving, and I felt horribly sorry for Harry.
I left my phone on the kitchen table and escaped the house quickly. I cursed myself for being such a mean person but when I stepped to the cold street, the wind comforted me.
Wondering in the street was boring, and so I went to Jen's. I saw Jennifer and I asked if she needed help or anything.
"No, it's fine," Jennifer said. "I have got some painting from the choir kids, you know the church, and would you like to look at them?"
I nodded and she handed me a pile of drawing. I sat in the corner near the window, and I wondered what Harry would be thinking of me now. He would break up with me tomorrow, and I would be sad for a moment; but when I got back to my room and lay on the bed, I'd look at my sky and I wouldn't feel bad again.
These were the paintings of Christmas, I realised. They were pretty, and I remembered spending Christmas with Max and Tommy. We'd give each other our presents and we'd eat in the pizza shop Tommy worked. There was a table at the back that we liked, and sometimes Tommy would cave something on the wall.
"Sure you won't mind me sitting here," I looked up and found Don. He smiled and he sat down with a paper bag.
"I like your jumper," I said.
Don laughed, "like it because it's shrunk? This can't be washed in the machine but Zara didn't know."
"It's lovely," I said. "What are you doing here?"
"Went to the library and just thought I should come here for a coffee," Don said. "What are you doing here?"
"Running away," I said.
"Your parents came though," Don said. "Harry told us. He ironed his shirt and washed his hair twice last night. He was quite nervous I suppose, he was practicing how to talk to your parents in his room."
"He doesn't stutter today," I said.
"That's great, did you draw these?" Don looked at the papers in front of me after getting his coffee.
"No," I said. "The children of the church drew it for Christmas. They're pretty. Why does everyone like about Christmas? "
"The food, and you get to spend time with your family," Don said. He picked up the drawings and put down so quickly that I wasn't sure if he could even recognise those Christmas angels with pink wings on the papers, "and the music is great. I like the weather even. What about you?"
"I don't know. Probably the snow. They are white and white is good." I shrugged. "Last year I went to a party with my friend Tommy, and it was boring so we found a quiet empty room. We had sex, and I couldn't find my dress next morning. But I had to meet Tommy's parents for the little Christmas tea party they'd throw every year, so Tommy bought me a pink dress. It was a great day because Max, my brother, managed to get there on time and nobody said any bad thing until my parents came."
Don nodded, "For me it's just my dad and I, but my neighbour would come over. She's amazing. She understands me - she understands everything."
"Minnie?" I heard Jennifer's voice, "can you help getting the Christmas tree into the cafe?"
I didn't want to leave the table but Don said he'd go with me. The Christmas tree was not very heavy and we put it right next to the door. Jennifer gave us some Christmas ornaments and asked us to decorate the tree. She said there would be children coming here later so we had to be quick.
And I hoped that Christmas in Louca would finally be a real Christmas. But suddenly there were just Max and I. No tea party this year, and it wouldn't really be Christmas.
There was a blue glass ball and it was so pretty that I had to take it. I put it in my pocket when Don went to get a angel doll with Jennifer. The tree was done with little light bulbs on it, and we returned to our seats.
We ate and Don talked about something funny. I didn't understand what it was, but I laughed until my stomach ached because I had to feel as though Tommy was sitting across me.
"What's happened to your back? I saw it when we were swimming." Don asked. "I mean if you're not comfortable answering -"
"It's a burn mark, all the way from my neck to the bottom of my spine," I told him. I leaned closer to him, "someone tried to kill me in farmhouse."
Don nodded very slowly with stern eyes. "Okay, that is really Sherlock Holmes."
"You don't believe me," I stated, and it made me rather sad that he didn't believe me. "But at least you didn't run away when you saw them. My mum wouldn't want to touch it. She said the scar was my fault."
"It's just a piece of mark at your back, doesn't mean anything," Don said.
"It defines me," I said gloomily, "It's like the legacy of monsters. Like claws. It's my past. People and books like to put it this way, right? Categorise things. Today. Yesterday. Tomorrow. And feelings too. It's like you can either feel happy or sad, angry or not angry. I got confused sometimes when I am feeling everything, you'll explode if you feel too much."
"You know you can talk to me, right? You're always talking about stuff that I don't understand," Don said, "I like talking to you."
"Sometimes I don't understand what I talk about," I said. "And things in my head become louder and louder, and pictures too. Can you see through me? My head."
I didn't know why Don was frowning.
"Just guess what I am thinking. Try!" I grinned at him.
"You are, um, I don't know."
"Don, please try! Be curious!" I said. I sat straight and let him look more clearly.
"You like Harry." Don said, nodding slowly.
"Right," I lied. "Go on."
"And you don't want to go back to your parents because you're sitting in a cafe while your parents are at your house," Don said.
"I love them very much," I said. "And - "
"How about you guess?" Don put his elbows on the table and crossed his fingers. "What am I thinking?"
"You know I like you, because I swam with you in a freezing lake," I said. "You're not scared of me, and my mark at the back. You like sitting here with me, because you're always smiling even when you find the drawings childish."
"I didn't - I just," Don didn't speak. His thin lips were pressed together. They looked like caterpillars. I wanted to kiss him suddenly.
"Minnie, I think that's enough about me," Don said slowly and was putting effort to smile at me.
"And you don't like people saying the right things about you because you're ashamed of what I know," I said, it was a bright day I realised. "And you don't want anybody to know what you're thinking. Ashamed of it or any reasons, I don't know."
I knew Don would explode and ask me to "shut it" like normal people do. They would look red and purple like rotten tomatoes and push past me. Their reactions made a fun sight. Don looked at me and he just laughed then. A very casual and uncomfortable laugh. I was confused.
"Do you always look at people like this?" Don asked. "That's brilliant, actually. I am hones. And those drawings are ugly."
"No, they're drawn by kids and they should be the prettiest of any drawing. Because kids still get to draw without being stained or taught, they get to draw their real thoughts about the world," I said.
Don sneered at me, and he stopped. "Give me your number, won't you?"
I gave it to him, and he paid for my take-away coffee which was kind. We walked on the floor and the sky and the building spun a little bit. The sun and coffee must be hot because my face was burning. We threw the empty cups. I realised it must have been very late because the light were yellow on the trees. We stood in front of the bench, and he hugged me.
"Goodbye Minnie," Don said softly.
I saw a piece of yellow leaf on the top of his head. I let it stay there. Don left and I watched the back of his shrunken jumper. I hurried upstairs and hoped the leaf on his head wouldn't fall.
When I knocked the door of my flat, the yellow leaf was all I could think about, as well as for the rest of the night despite how unpleasant the day went.