Taehyung POV:
"Dinner!" A voice called from downstairs. I glanced into the mirror that is positioned in front of my white sheeted bed. Blue bruises littered my arms like a rash. I knew if I pulled my shirt up, you could see the others that decorated my tan skin. I didn't even waste time making a sad face at the marks, I was far to used to the sight of them.
The ones who caused these marks of hurt were the people the media saw as my friends. The people who were supposed to care for me, be kind to me. Or at least not fucking hurt me whenever I was in their line of sight.
I debated on whether going downstairs was a good idea. I knew there wasn't anything for me, there never was.
Jin was seen as the motherly one. He took care of the other members whenever they were sick or tired, cooked for all of them and was overall a decent human being... To them.
When it came to me, all of those father-like qualities went down the drain. I could probably count on one hand the amount of times I'd eaten his cooking during the last three years I'd been living here. He never once bothered to check on me when I was sick let alone take care of me. To him I was just a bother, something he was forced to pretend to like for the company. He wasn't as bad as the others but he did throw the occasional punch or insult. Actually, the insults are pretty common from him.
I could hear Yoongi grumbling about Jin waking him up as he passed my door. Yoongi was a little bit like a light switch. He didn't always hurt me or do much of anything. He just kinda sat and watched everything happen. But if I went out of line, he became one of the worst if not the worst people I'd every had the displeasure of meeting.
He would hit so hard that he would sometimes fracture my ribs. He made insults so hurtful, I'm surprised I can still look at myself without crying. He was honestly just not a good person in general. I didn't really like him but then again, I didn't like any of them now.
There was a time when I truly did love them. They didn't care about me from the start but I loved them. They were my friends, my family.
They however, hated me from the beginning. I walked into the group being the seventh and final member to join. They each thought that they didn't need me. However, the managers thought that the group needed a lower voice which I could provide.
I was a naïve thing, hope filled my heart, almost bursting with the childish feeling. Hope that they would be kind and caring, hope that they would act like a second family .
I was wrong.
Hoseok was, and still is one of the meaner ones. It started with him yelling at me during dance practices then escalated to him hitting me and punching me repeatedly for no reason. I had gone to the hospital a lot because of him.
He was a ray of sunshine to the fans and the other members. His smile could light up a room, like an angel. I laughed bitterly to myself at that thought. He always called himself an angel but I knew what he was actually like. A heartless piece of shit that hurts me whenever he pleases.
A tiny part of me grimaced at my own comment, the part that still cared and loved them.
I shoved that part down, wanting it dead. I was in so much more pain when I cared. It hurt like a bitch knowing that they would never show the same compassion as I did. It physically hurt when they hit me, I could agree with that, but I can treat that with bandaids and medicine.
When my mind and heart hurts, there isn't a single thing I can do. I would gladly take physical pain over emotional pain any day.
I could smell the mouth watering flavour of meat through the space under my door. Namjoon's favourite food.
Namjoon belonged up there with Hoseok as one of the worst. He was a great leader to the others, making sure everyone was okay, guiding them and helping them when they were in need. As expected though, he was actually a giant dick.
He honestly was the one who started this whole thing. He was the first one when I walked into this hellhole to tell me how unwanted I was. How much they hated me. If Hoseok hadn't of made those first punches, he sure would've.
He had given me some of my worst injuries and when I used to cut myself, he was the ringleader in my head. Telling me how worthless I was, how much I didn't matter.
I didn't cut as much now though, I honestly can't bring myself to care.
Faded scars lingered my thighs. I refused to do anything where it was visible. I didn't want to be made fun of (because yes, they would make fun of me for that) or have them take advantage of it.
Jimin yelled at someone on the lower floor, they seemed to be jokingly be making fun of his height again. I knew they were joking from the loud laughs that followed from Jimin after.
Jimin was mellow. He only really watched from the sidelines as the other members hurt me, sometimes casually throwing an insult or two which was nothing compared to the others. He did give me a lot of pain however. When I first came here, Jimin didn't yell at me like the others did, he sometimes even gave a a forced smile. I knew now that those bitter smiles meant nothing, that he was the same.
I really thought back then that we could've been friends. That we could have a beautiful friendship together.
My hopes were obviously crushed not too long after. I had begun hanging out with him, sitting next to him, trying to talk to him, driving him mad.
It took a solid ten seconds for reality to drop down on me. When Jimin slapped me across my face in front of the entire group for touching his arm to get his attention for something. There was not a tiny flicker of remorse on his face afterwards.
I didn't try talking to him after that incident.
The group down stairs called for the maknae, Jungkook. I heard the patter of a pair of legs walk by and down the stairs. My heart clenched a little bit as I heard him pass by. Fuck, my feelings hurt.
Jungkook was probably the only friend I had ever had here, before he too, was ripped away from me.
He was extremely nervous when he first came here. He didn't really talk to anyone and tended to want to stay isolated, away from everyone.
I didn't know if it was because I seemed weak and vulnerable, but he began talking to me. We talked amongst ourselves, playing video games and hanging out with each other.
But I could see him slowly breaking out of his shy shell.
The hyungs began trying to distance him from me. Going as far as inviting him places and leaving me alone.
It worked. He started to ignore me, no longer spending time playing Overwatch together. When the hyungs insulted me, he began to agree with them, no longer trying to comfort me.
Anything that was left of my happiness washed away, like the blood that once always covered my thighs.
He came up to me and told me to not talk to him anymore, that I was embarrassing him in front of his hyungs. That we weren't friends anymore.
Even though he had never actually insulted me before, I despised him the most. He was so easily manipulated and convinced that I was not worth his time, that I was burden, that he was friends with someone pathetic and disgusting.
I sometimes saw him giving me looks of pity when no one was around. I never gave a reaction, he didn't deserve one.
I could feel myself getting colder and colder as the days went by. Fans were noticing too. So many analysis videos had come out about the way I'd been acting.
It was actually refreshing to see people worried about me.
After basically saying "fuck it", I decided to go downstairs. I was about to put on a long sleeve shirt to cover up the blue discolouration that covered my arms but I again said "fuck it" and left to go downstairs.
I saw Jin first holding a pot with a light green pair of oven mitts protecting him. His gleeful smile turned into a scowl when he saw me heading towards him and the other group members. The others had about the same reaction of irritation, some more then others.
I didn't even bother saying anything, just sitting down on a stool in the corner that they put there some time ago. I never had a spot at the table, never will. That used to bother me a lot but it now rolled off of my shoulders with out a care.
I remembered when I had once asked for food while sitting here, starving, my stomach grumbling in pain.
I was beat really bad that day and I had never asked since.
I watched stony-eyed as they dug into what looked to be a delicious meal, almost purposely showing me when the picked food up.
I scoffed quietly. Did they honestly think that would bother me? They've done far worse than that to get a reaction out of me.
As time passed, I found myself bored. Before, when I was a naïve thing, I used to be scared and cowered in the corner like a little bitch, frightened about what they could do. Now, they could go fuck themselves.
A surge of confidence made me get up and head back to my room, a haven in a place like this.
"Where do you think you're going?" A voice I recognized as Jin's asked rhetorically. I just continued walking, not caring at this point what happens to me.
"Did you not hear him you little shit?" Namjoon asked with a growl. I continued to ignored him.
I heard a few 'who the fuck does he think he is' when I kept going up.
I suddenly felt a hand grip my bare arm roughly and pull me down. I fell on the hard ground on my already bruised back. I was proud of myself for not giving a reaction though. I did however wince when I felt a hard kick in my ribs. I tried to curl into a ball to protect myself but didn't have time to block the next kick.
"It was going to take a lot of foundation to cover all this," I thought in pain. That thought triggered me in the best way possible.
A moment of genius hit me in that moment, a beautiful plan forming in my head. I forced my lips to keep my a frown, not letting my mouth turn up into a smirk as I felt the pieces of my plot coming together while I purposely let them continue beat to me.
They were going to be sorry if it was going to be the last thing I did.
~
Lowkey sick of the books where V still loves BTS even though they abuse him so here is this dumb book lmao