"Bucky?" Steve muttered. He was still asleep, but all the warmth that surrounded him had disappeared.
Bucky sat up on his knees. "Shh, I'm right here." He grabbed a blanket and threw it over him. He kissed Steve's forehead and retreated to the bathroom.
He turned the shower on. He didn't get in right away, though. He turned to stare at his reflection in the mirror. It wasn't the sad broken person he was so used to seeing. There was a faint trace of a smile and the eyes looked alive. It wasn't what he had expected, but it was good to see himself as human again.
The mirror started to fog, sending a warning to Bucky that he should get into the shower. The warm water felt nice. It was refreshing, even though it burned. That was the thrill of it. To anyone else the water would seem almost cool, but to someone who thought icy water was normal warm water was like hellfire.
He made an effort to shower quickly. Between the water hurting his skin and the time letting his mind wander where he didn't want it to go, showers weren't the best. When he got out there was little steam on the mirror, but he could hear the soft snores from Steve.
Good, he's still asleep. The man thought. He knew Steve could sleep through anything, but there was never a time not to be careful.
He wrapped himself in a towel and tiptoed to the bedroom to find clothes. He decided on sweatpants and old t-shirt. He had no need to get dressed up, after all, they had already had dinner.
There was a soft click that Bucky into defence mode, but he realised that it was only Tasha opening the door.
"Hello, losers!" She announced, holding a grocery store bag up in the air.
Bucky ran out of the bedroom to shut her up, but Steve had already woken up. "Hello, Nat," Steve said groggily as he sat up.
Bucky gave her the death glare but held a seemingly normal conversation without holding any kind of tone with her. "What did you buy?"
She gave an innocent smile and placed the bag on the dining table. "Tequila, shot glasses because you guys don't own any, and some different chips. Doritos, normal potato chips, and tortilla chips."
"Why did you get 4 shot glasses?" Bucky asked as he rifled through the bag. "There's only three of us."
Steve frowned, "You invited someone, didn't you?"
"Well," Nat explained, "It just so happens that I ran into a very sad bird-man in the store, so I invited him."
"Sam's coming over," Bucky asserted, "great."
Steve got up and hugged Bucky from behind, "Be nice."
Bucky complained, but he knew it was no use. He was Steve's friend and Nat already invited him. Sad bird-man explains him perfectly.
The doorbell rang.
"Dammit," Bucky groaned.
Nat went to the door, shooting him a look before opening it. She put on a smile and opened, "Come on in, Sam."
"Thanks, Natasha," Sam said as he stepped into the apartment.
Nat closed the door. "Who's ready for shots?"
"Um, Nat?" Steve questioned, "You sure?"
"We can all hold our liquor." She stated, "And you all need to loosen up, so..."
Sam put his hand up, "I was promised Doritos, but if shots are involved, shouldn't you have some fun with it?"
"I like the way you think," Nat said, patting Sam on the back. "How about never have I ever?"
"Sounds good." Sam smiled. He looked over at Bucky and Steve, "Objections?"
Steve shook his head and looked at Bucky. He sighed, knowing that he didn't have a choice. "Why not?"
Natasha gave a devious smile and Sam reached for the bag of Doritos.
The four of them sat around the coffee table, Bucky and Steve on the couch, Nat on the chair, and Sam on the floor across from the couple. The bottles of tequila (Nat had bought three though one had been placed in the cabinet) had been placed on the table and each person had a double-shot glass in front of them. Nat took the liberty of filling the glasses up.
"So who wants to go first?" Sam asked nervously.
"You should," Bucky replied.
Sam stuffed a Dorito in his mouth and then spoke. "Never have I ever... um, kissed someone of the same gender? Yes, that."
The three others simultaneously took a drink. Nat filled the glasses up.
"Nat?" Sam asked, prompting her to go. He then ate another chip.
"Never have I ever been kissed in the rain." Nat looked down with a small, broken, smile edging its way onto her face.
Sam took his shot and then filled it back up.
Steve thought for a moment and then said, "Never have I ever been kissed with handcuffs on."
Nat grabbed her glass and so did Sam. Bucky, regretfully, made eye contact with Sam and barely managed to hold in his giggles.
"Really Sam?"
"What?" Sam defended, "There was this one girl, a few years ago, she had some weird kinks, okay? Besides, what about Nat?"
"It was on this one mission, I was handcuffed because I had to infiltrate some group, but as luck would have it Clint's not very good with lying. We got caught and he started to freak out, so I kissed him."
"I knew it!" Sam pointed at her like a little kid, "I knew you two had a thing! I knew it!"
"Oh shut up, at least mine wasn't for some weird girlfriend that you had." Nat spat.
"Okay, so moving on..." Bucky said, "Never have I ever had a ..." He waved his hands in the air, pointed to his crotch and continued, " inside me."
Steve and Nat reached for their glasses. Steve turned to Bucky and told him, "And we'll fix that."
Sam almost choked on his chips, "Guys come on!"
The three others gave him a weird look as the glasses were filled.
"Anyway, never have I ever had a one night stand," Sam said.
Nat took a drink.
"Really Nat?" Sam questioned, but Nat just shrugged and filled the glass up.
"Never have I ever blown someone."
Bucky's face turned a deep crimson and Steve shifted uncomfortably on his seat.
"Wait, really?" Sam asked dumbfounded. "Like recently or before the freeze. Actually, no, don't answer."
"Don't worry, it was before the plane crash, even though that could have been avoided," Bucky glared at Steve. All he had needed to do, was to listen to Peggy, but no.
"Well, I could have saved you from the fall, but you would have yelled at me for that too." Retorted Steve.
"Guys, shut up, Steve, it's your turn," Nat said.
"Huh, um," He looked at the glasses on the table, "Oh I don't know. Never have I ever topped."
"Well then," Sam said as he dumped the crumbs of the Doritos into his mouth, then reaching for his glass. Bucky and Nat followed. He thought for a moment, "Never have I ever been fisted."
After turning a shade of cherry red, yet maintaining a straight face, Steve reached for his glass.
"No, come on, man!" Sam complained. "You did not. Please no."
"Sorry," Steve turned to Bucky, "It was his fault though."
Nat covered her face, doubling over in giggles. "Oh, you guys have just done everything." She exclaimed. Whether she liked it or not, she was getting blackmail.
"You're not wrong," Bucky said, earning a disgusted look from Sam.
"And to think that I thought that Captain America was a virgin. I was wrong, very, very wrong." Sam looked off into space, his mind corrupting itself with the new information.
There was a beat of silence, no one dared breath, but Natasha's wheels were turning. Had they done everything? Was it possible to amit to what they had done? But most importantly, could she record it and send it to the rest of the Avengers?
"Never have I ever," She said carefully, "Had a third person in the same room as me, while I had sex."
Steve looked over at Bucky, who shrugged. They reached for their glasses.
"Ew, that's disgusting. What the hell!" Sam screeched.
"There's an explanation," Steve said, "We were doing it, but Howard walked in, got his paperwork and the blueprints, and he walked out of the room."
"Still, weird," Sam said.
"That's fair. Never have I ever, shit. I can't think of anything. I guess I'm out." Steve smiled. He couldn't think of anything, dirty or innocent that he had or hadn't done and all he wanted to do was to curl up next to Bucky and fall asleep. The game was just preventing him.
"Language. And you still have to drink." Sam spoke.
"Fine by me." Steve breathed.
"Ooh, never have I ever gotten sick from," Bucky stopped, looking at Sam. Then after realising, that it would bother Sam more than anything he said, "swallowing. Cum."
Nat reached for her glass and before downing it, she said, "Never had a strong stomach."
Sam shook his head. "Oh my god. The Earth's Mightiest Heros are more like Earth's Kinkiest Criminals."
"I agree, " Nat laughed, "Oh, Wade would love this."
Bucky smiled, but it wasn't happy. He had never seen Nat smile so much, then again it wasn't genuine and was due to the alcohol. He glanced at Steve, who although was smiling, was at wit's end.
"We got a half a bottle left right?" Bucky asked the group, "Well, whoever can think of the dirtiest thing that we have done gets it."
Nat donned her "I got this" smile, while Sam's eyes got big like he had seen a ghost.
"I'll go first," Sam said.
They all turned. He was the most resistant, but he had seen his fair share of movies and anime, thanks to that one guy he knew from the airforce. He was always watching something ghastly.
"Did you two ever do it in an alleyway? Like near people? Maybe after milkshakes or ice cream and you to couldn't contain yourselves and you went to the nearest deserted ally. WIth a fair amount of... well, you get my gist."
Bucky shook his head, "Yeah, that happened once, but that's not the worst thing. I think?"
Nat smile, "Bucky you should go."
He sighed and started to detail one night during the summer before Bucky's deployment. "It was ridiculously hot out, your clothes could melt right off." He explained. He then went into detail about how it was too hot to even touch clothing and by 3, all clothes had come off. "Now, off course the only cool air came from outside, but just barely. We had several windows open"
He then went into an explanation of Steve attempting a cold shower and him joining in. And that's when Sam squirmed and grabbed the bottle of tequila. Nat swatted his hand away.
"You told me this one. In fractures, it was more like a story, but I'm sure it was you." Nat told Bucky. "Red room, you were telling us the story of the person you loved, though you never gave details to us, you told me a story once. I think it went like this:
Some years ago, the was this person, who would do anything for anyone. They would put their life on the line to protect people, whether or not they knew him. One time I had to save them from trying to protect people. Now, remember, saving everyone can get you killed. That's why you stick to the mission or you get a partner. Sticking to the mission is easy and it's what you must do. But once I saved them I had to help them with a few cuts and bruises, but I didn't have painkillers so I used the next best thing, alcohol. They passed out, but in the morning after they had thrown up the alcohol, they had thrown their arms around me and kissed from my neck to hips. They took off my shirt and tossed it on the floor. I had indulged in the act, I had enjoyed it, you must be that way towards killing. It is your life, as they were mine. You will learn what I did one day when you learn what a spider must do to catch her prey. You must indulge.
I had asked you if you remembered anything else and you told me that you didn't remember. A day later you didn't even remember telling us the story. I think they saw the life in your eyes because the next day you didn't have the sparkle in your eyes."
Nat looked down. "I found the file, they had recorded everything you told us that day. They even asked you about it and you told them exactly what happened, but you didn't have 8-year-olds as an audience. You two had fun, but it wasn't about the fun was it? You loved, love, ha, sorry, each other. And to you, all you wanted to do was to be close to each other, while the other was alive. Isn't that it? You two have done so much, in fact, Tony wouldn't be able to handle it all, but the most intimate, deviant, thing that you two have done has been loving each other. You throw your lives down again and again for each other. It doesn't matter what you two do together, as long as it's together."
Nat's eyes welled up and she reached for the bottle. No one dared to defy her. Sam was digesting everything she had said and upon looking at the couple he noticed she was right. The way they sat next to each, the way they smiled, and talked, they would do anything. And their love was both the purest thing in the world and the dirtiest thing in the universe.
Bucky tried to smile, but all he could do was cry. He hadn't meant to, it just happened. It started with a few measly tears then he couldn't contain it. He cried for the first time in a long time about something perfect. Steve wrapped his arms around him and held him to his chest.
He looked at Nat, who finished downing the last of the tequila. She smiled in a broken kind of way, but he knew what it meant.
In that small apartment, sitting in a circle, was a group of broken soldiers. The man who couldn't save his best friend, so he saved everyone else, the man who had his love stripped away and made into a weapon, the man who was given a chance to show the world who he was, but had to lose the love that he had, and the girl who wanted to help humanity, but was only ever told how to break it. They were all drunk, all crying, all broken, but every single one of them learned how to love with a shattered heart. All of them found family again. And although it didn't seem like it, they all had hope. They all had a little piece of happiness.