*The picture above?( I think) is what I imagined Serena to look like. In the book she would have less makeup and curlier hair but ehh close enough.
Glass shattering, my sister screaming, metallic taste, and another sweaty night. I wake up almost every night like this sweating and sobbing until I can't breathe anymore. Luckily I have become dependent on myself, so I do know what to do when I can't stop the dreams. I pretend. I pretend that my sister and mom aren't dead. I pretend that my dad does understand the concept of loving his little girl. I pretend that I had a normal dream of monsters chasing me like I used to when I was a little girl. And I pretend I am a normal sixteen year old who can sleep every night without worrying if she is going to be able to sleep for the full eight to nine recommended hours of sleep. I look at the bright red flashing numbers on my clock and the time reads 3:23. Another three and a half hours until I have to officially start getting ready for school on this rainy Monday morning.
Unable to fall back asleep, I peel off my sticky covers and walk down to my kitchen. We've been living in this house for two years now after the fateful accident, and I don't think I will ever be able to get rid of the loneliness I feel in this house. After all having four bedrooms and three baths with only one person in the house most nights can do that to you. Only 150,000 dollars for the house my dad was bound to buy it with how much he works.
I take the k-cups out of the cupboard and make some coffee. I need as much caffeine as I can get if I want to stay awake and function properly at school. I also take out the Cinnamon Toast Crunch, my favorite cereal, and pour a heaping amount in a bowl. I go to my room and watch some TV until 7 o'clock rolls around. I get into the shower and 15 minutes later I come out in a towel. I hear my phone ringing and see the contact name as "Dad".
"Hey Dad," I sigh.
"Sorry Miss Ryder, It's Chance." He apologizes into the phone. Chance is my Dad's assistant. Of course my loving father would have his assistant call almost every other morning.
"Chance, how many times have I told you to call me Serena? Anyway, what's up?"
"Your Dad has told me to inform you that he will be going on a three day trip to China to consult with a client."
"Alright, Thanks. Bye Chance." I sigh deeply.
"Not a Problem Miss Ryder."
With news that I hear regularly, I pick up a pair of light washed shorts and a black off the shoulder sweatshirt with the words "In life, simple is best" written in white. I pull on my white converse and blow-dry my dark hair, having ringlets roll down my back stopping about 5 inches above my waist. Then, I brush my teeth and put a couple of coats of dark mascara on my lashes, making my bright blue eyes pop. I grab my book bag and another huge cup of coffee, and drive to school. I head to first period after getting all my books and wait to see what the day brings.
By third period I'm snoozing off. And by lunch I'm almost completely asleep. I decide to go to my car and take a nap instead of eating the cafeteria food. But before I even get a chance to throw my cafeteria lunch away, I bump in to Hayden West, Eastside's very own Bad Boy, dropping my lunch on the ground.
I gasp, "I'm so, so sorry!"
"What is your problem? I know I'm good looking, but why must you throw yourself on to me!" He spits out.
I glare at him," You little cocky as-," before I get to finish my remark the bell rings. So much for my afternoon nap.
Hayden only gives me a sarcastic smile and walks away. I don't even bother cleaning up the mess. I grab my things for 5th and 6th period which is the last of the day. Fifth period history was as boring as ever. I finally go to my last period class, English. I love this class. We don't really do much, and when we do we only have tiny 20 minute lessons.
"Welcome class!" My English teacher, Mrs. Thompson greeted us. "Toda y we will be discussing our project that will last for the rest of the year! It will be a partner project. The best part, I will be assigning your partners." Everyone groaned.
Mrs. Thompson was no fun when she chose partners. She was almost like the matchmaker of the school.
"Alright here are the partners, Sarah and Jade," The two girls squealed," Jack and Lisa, Sam and Mickey...." The list continues without my name until, "Hayden and Serena" Oh hell no! I am not being partners with that cocky rude boy!
"Mrs. Thompson, Is there any way to change my partner please?" I quickly ask.
"Absolutely" I breathe a sigh of relief, "Not."
Scratch what I said earlier. English sucks.
"Alright get with your partners." Mrs. Thompson said.
"Hey, Princess," Oh my gosh. Kill me now.
"Don't call me that," I snap.
"OHHHH someone's feisty," I roll my eyes and start on ideas for the project. For the rest of the class it was mostly silent other than little snarky comments here and there from Hayden. When the bell rings at 2:40 signaling the end of the day, I pack up my things and sluggishly walk down to my car. I put my forehead on the steering wheel. Why can't life be simple? I could be just as tired as every other person in school rather than more tired than all of them. I sigh and drive home. When I unlock the front door I'm surrounded by darkness. I turn on the lights and go upstairs to my room. I change into my pajamas which consist of booty shorts and an oversized zip up sweatshirt. No one's going to see me anyway. I throw my hair up into a bun and start my homework.
I must've fallen asleep, because when I woke up it was 7:30 and someone was banging on the door.
"I'm coming, I'm coming" I grumbled.
I open the door and lucky me! Hayden is standing in my doorway at 7:30 at night.
"Ugh, how did you even know where I lived?"
"Can I come in Princess?"
"Oh my gosh! How many times do I have to tell you not to call me princess? And no you can't come in, what do you want?"
"We need to work on our project, so I figured I'd come over."
"At 7:30 a night?" I gave him a disbelieved look.
"Yeah, I had to take care of some of my Ladies, if you know what I mean." He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.
"EWW You are such a pig! Leave!"
"UMM how bout no? Anyway where are your parents?"
Oh god, I'm going to die. I can' tell him about my Mom so I have to make up a quick story.
"Uhhh my Dad is out of town for the week, and my M-mom is ummm, somewhere."
"Somewhere?"
"Yeah like out of town Business trip."
"Oh Okay."
"Yeah well, bye!" I almost close the door in his face, until his stupid shoe catches the door.
"Ughhhh what do you want!!"
" Come on Princess, I only want to work on our project."
" Ugh, fine, but work and nothing else." I finally agree.
Two long hours later, I'm dozing off along with Hayden.
"Alright I'm going to go princess, Sleep tight." Hayden whispers.
I'm too tired to respond coherently, so I just grumble. Hayden and I didn't really do much other than work on our project. His stupid annoying comments were still there the entire time though. God I wish I could smack him right upside the head sometimes.
Finally, I fully fall asleep on the couch. Surprisingly it was extremely comfortable.
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"NOW I'VE GOT YOU IN MY SPACE, I WON'T LET GO OF YOUUUUUUUU!" My sister and I belt out in the back of the car. We were currently on our way home from an awesome vacation at the beach. Man that was so much fun! I got soooo tan!
"Girls, can you please keep it down, your father is trying to drive and if you hadn't noticed it is raining really hard outside." My mother asked us politely.
"Sure Mom, Sorry!" My sister and I answered in unison. I swear we were more like identical twins, than her being a year and a half older than me.
Our mother just shook her head at us. Our mother was surely beautiful. She was going on Forty- three, but really only looked in her late thirties, mid-thirties really. She has gorgeous blue eyes like me, and medium length blonde hair that was wavy. She was very tall, which I had inherited including her blue eyes.
"Girls, would you like to stop at Dairy Queen for some ice cream?" She asked us.
We nodded our heads vigorously. Once we got our ice cream, we continued down the road.
"DAVID WATCH OUT!!" My mother screamed.
It felt like all the air was knocked out of my lungs. This was it, I was going to die. I wouldn't get to go to college, or have kids. I wouldn't get to experience a heart break so bad, that was when I was suppose to be dying. I would be able to find a man then who would love me for who I am when he dumped on prom night. I was suppose to experience all that So was my sister! My mom and dad were suppose to love each other till they tuned 100 years old we aren't suppose do die.
All of a sudden it felt like my stomach lurched through my throat. My Dad had saved us all he swerved out of the way! That's what we all thought. Until..
BEEEP BEEEP! Blaring lights came out from a huge pick-up truck that couldn't stop. We all screamed for our lives.
CRASH! Our car spun in circles over and over again and it felt like I was going to puke my brains out. A blinding white began to form over my eyes and that's when I knew... thought I was going to die.
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I woke up screaming and sobbing. I couldn't breathe I couldn't pretend. I couldn't do anything. My mom and sister are dead. They aren't alive anymore. My breathe became more shallow, and my chest tightened. My breaths were becoming ragged and I felt like I was dying. I raced up the stairs as fast and I could and opened the cabinet. I pulled the anxiety pills I had on the top shelf second bottle to the left and took two. It only helped a little bit, so I kept taking deep breathes, and plugged my headphones in, blocking out the entire world with my play list already had set to calm me. I looked at the clock and sighed. 2:56 A.M. I'm definitely not going to sleep after that. I stood up and looked at myself in the mirror. Why am I such a train wreck? My Hair was in a big ball of frizz, my eyes were puffy, which without a doubt would not go away by the time I had to go to school, My face was red, and I looked so sleep deprived, no makeup in the world would do me wonders. I sighed deeply and got ready for school. While I was getting ready the only thing I could be thinking at the moment was, What would it feel like to be comforted by somebody?