Everyone Un-Died + My Gardene...

Por AaronRubicon

33.7K 5.7K 1.9K

"Sure, it was robots this time. But who's to say that it won't be zombies next time? And when the zombies do... Más

Author's Note
Prologue - Hot Shiitake
Foreword - A Makeshift Jail That Smelled Like Feet
The Light Of The Goddess
A Bioweapons Factory With Snack Time
Street Stupid
The Sisyphus Of Footwear
Headshots!
The Bartender's Last Call
A Thriller Of Zombies
What Are Facts?
Learn Before You Burn
Completely Useless Buffoons
Vicious Murder Machines
A Grown-Ass Man-Toy
Staycation
The Lucas Letters (Part 1)
The Lucas Letters (Part 2)
The World Needs a Heroine
Dry Heaves And A Wet Burp
Artificial Sugar Tits
Keep Calm And Rrrrrr!
Dawn Of The Deaf
Buck Flagg, Douche Bagg
A Crematorium-Themed Amusement Park
A Potty In Every Port
Taking Care Of Business
Un-Death Of A Zombie Salesman
RRRRReanimate System™
The Menopausal Marauders
My Scumbag Clients
Part 2: Scorpions Are Assholes
Zombie Un-Lives Matter
Explain It With Yachts
The Fickle Elbow Of Fate
The Tooth Fairy
Ass-Movers
Celebration!
Robot Jesus 2.0
Misogyny, Racism and Sexual Deviance
Date Night
Power Couple
A Frank Conversation
Zombie Free Zone
Head Beats No-Head
Give Cyberdildonics A Chance
Fraudulent Chickens
Judgment Day
Loose Ends
Afterword

PART 1: Frogs Are Idiots

854 146 34
Por AaronRubicon

There is a famous experiment and you've probably heard about it. The experimenter took a frog and put it into a pot of boiling water. Naturally, the frog immediately leapt out. No surprise there.

But then... the experimenter took the frog and put it in a pot of cool water and then gradually raised the temperature until the water was boiling. And this time it didn't jump out. It just sat there as it slowly cooked to death.

What is the takeaway from this?

               • Frogs are idiots.

               • The experimenter was clearly a serial killer in training.

               • People will believe anything if there are bullet points.

Because this experiment is obviously a myth.* I mean, have you ever met a frog? Of course it will leap out of boiling water. Hell, a frog will leap out of any kind of water. Why? Because it's a frog! And leaping is what frogs do. That is literally the thing that frogs are most famous for. Jeez.

That said, there is a toy surprise of truth in that Crackerjack box of nonsense. Because unlike the Robot Apocalypse which happened suddenly and all at once, the Zombie Apocalypse crept up on us gradually. In the beginning, it was just some strange and seemingly disconnected incidents scattered across the country. The people involved knew that they had encountered... something but initially they didn't even put a name to what it was, much less truly apprehended the scope of the Zombie threat.

Humanity sat in its bathtub, unaware that they were slowly being boiled alive.

-------------------------------------------------------------

*And when I say "obviously a myth" I mean it was obvious to Lucas. I always thought it was true. But Lucas taught me a valuable lesson about the importance of questioning my own assumptions and in return I taught Lucas a valuable lesson about unseemly gloating. (Hint: It also involved boiling water and a dead frog.)

Seguir leyendo

También te gustarán

3.1K 142 13
Grant Alan awakens and finds himself in the year 9123, thousands of years into the future, where the world had been taken over by other beings. Unfor...
55.4K 2.7K 52
(Sequel to Don't Talk To Strangers) It's been a couple months since the zombies had vanished. No more zombies. No more killings. And no more bad p...
18 0 10
Like the start of any apocalyptic tale - an asteroid was headed towards Earth - but did it actually reach its mark? That's irrelevant, the world's go...
498 60 20
➡THIS IS THE SEQUEL TO THE FIRST STORY I WROTE ON HERE "We Are Free"⬅ Its been a few months since Lainey and the others left the town behind, And...