Stephan
Her eyes look up at me in awe, the reddish brown depths warm with attraction and love. But the only thing I feel for her at the moment is disappointment...and disgust.
I've been paired with a hybrid...a vampire hybrid...how unfortunate.
~What are you talking about kid? She is our mate, our Luna!~
I ignore my wolf as I gaze down at the warrior I remember is Scarlett Thomas, her jet black hair and ivory skin clearly a product of her fathers genetics...as attractive as she is, it's a shame she's not cut out to be my Luna.
"Mate." She whispers, a purr like sound to her voice.
Such a shame indeed.
"I'm so sorry little girl, but unfortunately you are mistaken."
Her eyes widen in surprise, confusion furrows her brows.
~Don't you dare!!!~ my wolf growls furiously, but I ignore him again.
"What do you mean Stephan?"
I try to ignore how the way my name sounds on her tongue makes me shiver, and keep my expression blank.
"I, Alpha Stephan Andrews of Shadow Mist, reject you as my mate."
My wolfs furious growl rings loudly as the heartache rips through Scarlett's eyes. I have to make this quick, otherwise there will be trouble.
"No..." her voice whispers sadly.
"And furthermore, as of now, you are no longer a member of Shadow Mist."
I can feel every tie that binds us fall away, and the emptiness of her eyes makes my wolf even angrier.
"Stephan...please..." she begs.
"Get this rogue off my territory immediately. And keep in mind little one, coming back will be your death."
Two warriors grab her by the arms and drag her out of my office, her voice crying out for me as it slowly fades away. I close the office doors and sigh, somewhat exhausted by the whole ordeal.
~You stupid fool! What were you thinking? That was our mate!!!~
I cut off my wolfs voice from my thoughts, sitting down in my chair heavily. Hopefully, I'll never have to concern myself with her again...
The rogue life is a dangerous one after all.
~~~~~~
It's been three years since that day...and frankly, I don't know what the hell I was thinking.
It didn't happen overnight, not in the slightest, but over the course of that first year I found myself slowly and gradually missing her presence in the small ways.
Seeing her with the warriors training, coming to my office to deliver messages and escort visitors, running into each other as we walked through the pack house.....
Then suddenly, it developed into dreaming about her pained eyes, almost begging for me to tell her why I threw her away...and I never knew what to tell her before I woke up.
Then it became spending time in the room she used to live in, and keeping it empty no matter what. I started getting furious when it started to lose her scent, but after it became void of it, I started to just sit in there and do nothing.
That was followed by just the bitterness, not being able to look at any mated pair without thinking about what I threw away. And those were the moments I thought my wolf would at least pipe up with a harsh statement about how it was my fault we weren't together, that if it wasn't for my selfish and narrow minded actions...me and Scarlett would be happy...
But that would imply that Midas even talks to me anymore...and he doesn't.
I can still shift, and he occasionally grunts or lets his emotions fill my body and mind...but he hasn't spoken a single word to me since the day I rejected and cast out Scarlett. His fury and disappointment...and his grief, are wordless but deafening...and I can't let anyone know how disconnected I am from him...then I'd lose my pack and title to my younger brother...an Alpha who has an unresponsive wolf is considered a weakling unfit to lead...
But what's been plaguing me the most is the fact that I may never see her face again, and that I'd never get the chance to fix what I've done, to make up for the pain I needlessly and unfairly inflicted on her.That she may be dead just as I assumed would happen to her...that my action of disowning her from the pack killed her...
I truly am a fool.
I spent every day since that thought keeping an eye out for her, making sure every rogue that was caught on my land was brought to me before it was dealt with, just in case she was one of them...and I have seen many a rogue wolf after issuing that order...but none of them were her...
That's when the even darker thoughts came creeping in...the thought of what if my mate suffered a fate worse than death...a fate so many wolves suffer from when they lose their mates and packs...
Insanity...
It's been years since she became a rogue, and the madness has broken even the strongest of Alphas in less than three months...she could be rabid and cannibalistic by now...
That is...if she's even still alive...she could've been a part of the cannibal rogue attack we had three months after I tossed her out...
My Goddess...I could've been the one who ended her life...with her once beautiful scent turned into the stench of death and decay, and her mind trapped inside a raging beast that craved the blood of other wolves...I never would've recognized her...
Any of the rogues who's throats I snapped could've been hers...I could've been the one who ended her life, as well as broken her heart and mind...
That sickening feeling has been the only thing I've been able to feel outside of grief and regret...but I can't let that show either, I need this pack...it's all I got left...
My face resting in my hands, I don't even flinch when the sound of my office door swings open, and that slight glimmer of hope I held out for it being Scarlett bursting through my door dies again when it's just my Beta Henley.
"Alpha, it's time to go, the plane for New Orleans leaves in two hours."
I don't bother raising my head, just grunting at him for a response. In truth, I don't even care about the meeting in Louisiana, and Henley knows that. He knows all to well that as much as I pretend to be the strong, fearless Alpha that I used to be...it's just not me anymore.
"I understand Alpha...but things like this make you look like the same Alpha you have been. And the alliance with Alpha Blackrose would benefit the pack that you need right now."
I lift my head from my hands, and reveal my bloodshot eyes and bruise like bags that I've been hiding for the past two weeks with sunglasses...
"Fine...have the car ready in ten minutes, I need to pack my bag."
He promptly leaves and I get up from my seat slowly, making my way to the mess I call my bedroom to grab enough clothes that don't look awful and torn to shove into a suitcase. The once elegant and spotless room is now a permanent mess, the torn pillows and clawed walls are unmoving fixtures, there isn't a spot on the floor that isn't covered by either shredded clothing, mangled and torn bed sheets, or bits of paper torn into confetti sized pieces.
I don't bother cleaning this place anymore, and since no one dares to go into my room, no one except Henley knowing how it looks besides me.
Taking my bag full of clothes, I shut the door behind me as I walk down the three flights of stairs, my trademark sunglasses in place over my eyes. I exchange goodbyes and short words with pack members that pass me by on the way down, and I greet the three warriors I'm bringing along with me to Louisiana as I get into the back of the gray SUV beside Henley.
We travel in silence, not bothering to pretend that we have anything worth talking about to say to each other. I just stare out the window in boredom, trying to imagine the fastest way to get this meeting over with, without having to stay too long.
I don't even know that much about the Blackrose Swamp Pack, or it's Alpha, the entire pack just kind of sprung up out of that swampy state out of nowhere about three years ago...and not many packs have been down there to talk alliance. Rumors have flown about who the Alpha is and what he's like, some say he's fierce and intimidating, a powerful wolf with no tolerance for games...others say he's calm and composed, keeping his emotions in check until you least expect it. Some even rumored that he's a hybrid wolf of some kind...a powerful hybrid that rose from lowly warrior to Alpha...
Then there is the pack itself...it's rumored to be full of hybrids and rogues, vampires and witches...even nonaffiliated humans. That the warriors use the swamps to trap their enemies before they ambush them, or just leave them to wander lost and confused until they die and get eaten by the gators and snakes.
So to say most people are afraid to do business with them would be an understatement, especially since they've seen vampires that work among the warriors...and witches that act as healers...and have heard stories that the pack house once belonged to a pack that was slaughtered by cannibals...and the ghosts of the wolves that used to live in the house still roam the swampland, turning anyone that stays too long mad from the ghostly howls...
In all honesty, I don't know if any of it is true or not, because frankly I don't really care. I just want to get this meeting over and done with so I can return home with a success, and go back to my search for Scarlett like I want to do now.
We reach the airport in less than an hour, and we quietly get out and head inside after parking outside, grabbing our few bags. The airport security bit takes a hell of a long time, but when we finally get to the plane and get seated up in first class, I drop into my seat and prepare to sleep the entire way...and ignore the flirting flight attendants no matter how hard they try, turning down any food or alcohol they offer...I'm not in the mood for food, and as much as I would love to drink, I don't need to do it before a meeting...not that I'd get drunk on three ounce servings anyway.
I let my self drift off to sleep after the plane takes off, and the guys know not to bother me until we land in two hours.
The time seems to fly by though, cause it seems like only moments after I closed my eyes that I feel the slight jarring of the plane landing on the ground....I must be much more exhausted than I thought I was...
We exit the plane just as quietly as we entered it, and our ride picks us up after we wait a few minutes outside the terminals.
"What do you think Alpha Blackrose is like? Do you think he's just as powerful as the rumors claim?"
The warriors whisper to each other, and I just ignore them as we pass the sights to go towards the swampland where the pack resides.
"He has to be if he really has vampires and witches in his pack, he's probably a hybrid too. I wonder if truly lets people he dislikes wander lost in the swamp until they die?"
We pull over into the driveway beside the road, only to be met with a wooden bridge far too narrow to drive across, it's length crossing over what I assume is swamp water. Looks like we're walking.
"I guess we're about to find out boys..."
I mutter as I step out the car, beginning my walk over the bridge....hoping to the Goddess I don't have to deal with gators or snakes...