I awoke feeling surrounded by a warmness I had never been acquainted with. Blinking open my eyes, I tried to shrug myself out of the warmth of the bed to get on with my day. When I moved to get up, it was immensely difficult. It felt as it I was being held there.
Feeling something snaking around my back further, I tried to get out with more effort but stilled when I heard a familiar, but ever sleepy voice, "Stop moving."
Lance's arms hugged me tighter and he nuzzled his face against my hair. It was like I had been awaken from a dream right into another. Against Lance's wishes, I used my hands to push myself off his chest, leaving just enough space between us so that I could look at his face.
His eyes were still closed, and he moved his arms so that they laid in front of him, detaching themselves from my waist. My brain and heart felt fuzzy and, without hesitation, I reached my hand out to caress his cheek, the tips of my fingers being tickled by his short hair. At the sensation, Lance sighed and moved his face slightly against the pillow.
I stared at his sleeping face, admiring him. Soft breaths came out of his slightly open mouth as his chest moved in slow, steady motions. He looked beautiful and entirely at ease. I softly gasped when I felt him nuzzle against my hand.
Despite the situation Keith was in, he couldn't shake the nerves that nagged his mind. What if as soon as Lance woke up, he wanted me gone? I lifted my hand of his face, bringing it in front of my body, laying it in front of Lance's. Speaking softly, I mumbled, "Lance, what time is it?"
Groaning, Lance opened his eyes and squinted. His voice slurred together due to exhaustion, "I don't know. It's early so go back to sleep." His eyes shut after and Lance rolled over, facing away from me.
I chuckled a bit at that; Lance had never been a morning person. After hesitating many moments, I figured that I should probably leave before I do end up making it weird, as if it wasn't strange already. The bed softly creaked as I stood up and made my way to the door.
Leaving the room, I made my way to the kitchen. Everyone was sitting and as their heads turned to me, their eyes all widened in surprise.
"Keith, how are you feeling?" Shiro was the first to speak.
"Oh, um, I'm fine," I mumbled, rubbing the back of my neck. Everyone staring at me made me feel incredibly self conscious.
Shiro nodded a bit and Allura suddenly asked, "Has Lance seen you?"
At that moment, I realized that everyone must know about my Hanahaki and I felt ill with humiliation. Does that mean that Lance knew? Feeling my chest squeeze in on itself, I felt like I couldn't breath. What if he is acting the way he is out of pity? I clenched my jaw hard.
Hunk spoke a bit, seeing Keith's sudden shift, "You know, Lance refused to leave your side the entire time you were in the cryptopod."
Perking up against my will, my voice came out a tad shrill, "He did?"
Smiling softly, Hunk continued, while everyone nodded a bit in agreement, "He totally drove himself into a tizzy out of worry for you. He'd even talk to you," Hunk laughed quietly, trying to brighten the mood.
The thorns still tangled in my chest began to loosen, "What did he say?"
Hunk smiled at me, "I don't know. He'd kick me out anytime I came in-"
"Ugh, stop it," Lance walked in disheveled, not bothering to get ready before leaving his room. The truth was, about 5 minutes after Keith left, Lance awoke with a shock. He realized that Keith would talk to everyone and they'd probably talk to him about how Lance had been obsessing over him while he was comatose. When he walked in, he realized his hunch was right and the idea of Keith hearing about his behavior embarrassed him beyond belief.
Pidge suddenly picked up her head in Lance's direction and snickered, "Wow, Lance, you look like hell." These past days had been anything but easy on Pidge. To see Lance and Keith both up and talking to the team filled her with relief. Unable and maybe a bit unwilling to open an emotional discussion, she opted on teasing Lance. She had missed that as well, after all.
"Hardy har har, Pidge." Lance rolled his eyes and walked in the room, obviously still a bit cranky at being awake so early. "Anyways, I'm hungry and Keith is probably too," he began opening cabinets, peaking inside for an easy snack.
Hunk got up, "I'll make something!" He immediately got at work, pulling ingredients out of the fridge for omelets.
"I'm glad you're eating something, Lance," Allura spoke, smiling in relief.
"Lance hasn't been eating?" I spoke in worry.
Putting his hand on my shoulder, Lance coughed loudly and spoke, "Anyways, Keith and I are going to train so come get us when breakfast is ready."
Before I could reply, he pulled me out of the kitchen into the hallway. Lance sighed in relief at being away from the eyes of the others.
My mind raced with questions. Lance isn't eating? What did he talk to me about when I was unable to hear? Why would he refuse to leave my side? Did he know about my Hanahaki and feel bad for me?
At the last question, I clenched my teeth and turned away from Lance, who stopped to look at me, "What's wrong?"
Despite knowing I was probably running to conclusions, I couldn't stop myself from feeling angry. I felt mad at Lance for pretending to like me because he felt bad for me. I felt my chest constrict on itself.
When I looked up at Lance, I saw him go to open his mouth again, but I spoke first, "Do you know?"
Lance raised an eyebrow at me, "Know what?"
I felt like crying. I felt stupid. If Lance really was just trying to be nice, I was being such an asshole.
When Lance was observing Keith, he saw his face contort into an expression of pain and Lance spoke again with worry, "Keith, what is it?"
I said nothing, unwilling to risk speaking. My gaze fell to the floor. It's as if my brain was finally getting realistic and it struck me with a feeling of hopelessness so deep that I wanted to sink into the ground just to escape the suffocating situation.
All the sudden, I felt a pair of hands press themselves to the sides of my face, turning my head to look directly at Lance, eyes filled with concern.
Weakly, I spoke, "Please stop it." I couldn't take it. I didn't want Lance to pretend to like me. The idea that he'd pretend to like me out of pity made me feel physically ill.
Furrowing his brows, he bit his lip anxiously, but kept my face in his hands. Lance feared making Keith more upset by invading his space but this mood of his came out of nowhere and the idea that Keith was bottling his feelings seemed to outweigh his previous worry.
"Please just tell me what's wrong, Keith," Lance's voice sounded desperate.
I closed my eyes, unable to take in more of his pained expression. I breathed in shakily and spoke in a voice slightly above a whisper, "I don't want you to pretend to like me because you feel bad for me. So stop it."
Lance gulped, holding Keith's face in his hands for a few moments before pulling him into a hug. With Keith's face burrowed in his neck, he spoke, "I am definitely worried about you, but I'm not doing anything I'm doing now because I feel like I have to, and I'm not pretending either, so get that dumb idea out of your head." Bringing one of his hands to the back of Keith's neck to tangle itself in the fringe of Keith's hair, he continued, "Before you even went into the cryptopod, I had already decided," he gulped, trying to say it without embarrassing himself, "I had decided that I was going to get to know you better and I was going to be better to you."
Pushing me off him, he held one of his hands on my shoulders and he used the other to point my face up at his. His fingers under my chin held my face in place, but I didn't try to resist it. With a serious expression and pleading eyes, Lance spoke, "I want to be close to you and I want to help you and I'm willing to give everything I have to do it. I'm not pretending and I'm not doing it because I was guilted into it, okay?"
I felt tears prick my eyes as I kept staring at Lance's blue eyes. I felt so relieved to hear him say that, taking measures to make sure I knew he was serious. It all meant more to me than he could have realized.
Hearing him try to alleviate my worries, made my heart drum in my chest. It made me feel a tinge of hope.
Lance had been trying to gauge Keith's facial expression, trying to figure out if what he said had made things worse. When he saw tears begin to fall down his cheeks, his mouth slightly agape, Lance immediately thought to himself, I messed up.
I felt Lance's hand move from my chin back to his side and his hand on my shoulder followed suit. I never took my eyes off his face and saw him turn away, "I'm sorry. I'm not good at this."
Without thinking, I threw my arms around Lance's shoulders, burrowing my face in the side of his neck. I couldn't find the words to tell him that what he said meant everything to me, but I wished I could. He deserved to know but all I could think to do was hold him with everything I had.
Lance hesitated before wrapping his arms around my waist tightly. I felt him sigh into my hair and Lance shut his eyes, relishing in the moment.
They both tensed when they heard Hunk shout, "Breakfast is ready!"
Lance hugged Keith tightly for a few seconds before they both let go. On the way to the kitchen, they both smiled sheepishly, their hands brushing against each other as they walked.
Yeah, I'm very unhappy with this chapter. This story isn't planned and I've just been making this stuff up on the spot as I write, lol. I know this chapter was probably dreadful and boring but I will make it up to you (hopefully)! I had very little time to edit it so if you see any grammatical errors, please let me know! Thank you!!!