He was your one and only.. and you would do anything for him...
Toby was ecstatic when you told him. You swore, he literally jumped for joy. He yelled and hugged you tightly, not knowing his own strength sometimes, due to the condition.
You smiled... feeling all his happiness manifest in you. When he was happy, you were happy. His happiness was one of of your key concerns... and you would do anything and everything for it.
Toby looked at you... really looked at you. Staring at you with his big beautiful eyes... with so much love and passion.
"You are so beautiful yn... s-so... s-so amazing..."
Oh toby...
I would do it again too...
Toby was finally going to have what he wanted... he was going to be what he wanted.
Both of you... young.. dumb and full of love.
...
You stood cooking eggs. Cracking the delicate shells on the lightly oiled pan.
Since the news, you've been eating a lot more. At least... two meals a day. One and a half if you felt sick.
It wasnt a easy transition. You threw up a lot at first... and feeling full really slowed you down.. and drained your energy. You also noticed you becoming a little less boney.
Sudden food on a starved body does strange things.. and dealing with them... wasnt fun. Some days, it was hard looking in the mirror... since you felt so odd and... heavy.
You started sleeping a lot too... especially after you ate. A full meal of creal and milk with toast would put you right to sleep afterwards.
After a few months, you adjusted... and you could manage to stay more alert. You also manged to eat more... and you started carving specific things which you manged to learn how to cook.
In the months... you felt better... more independent in a way. You didnt rely on toby for food... you could spend the hours by yourself easier... and you managed to finally, relax.
Maybe it was the fact that now toby couldn't leave you. He was with you forever... and it gave you reassurance.
You tented to your eggs, getting a plate ready to put them on. You placed toast in the toaster and turned it on.
You were a breakfast person
Who knew?
You plated up your eggs, and buttered your toast, deciding to get more food. You poured yourself some cereal, setting everything on the table, getting ready to eat.
You were alone again, which was quite alright. It didn't bother you like it use too... and you filled the emptiness... talking to the only other person in the room.
"I hope you like the eggs... i added pepper to them..." you mumbled slightly... rubbing your stomach. It was a natural instinct to talk to them, you knew they could hear you... and you knew they liked it.
You started eating, feeling the flavor of the eggs dance over your tounge. Ever since you started eating.. you felt.. clearer. Like you could think and behave more rationally. Still, your hormones would still sometimes get the best of you, as they did everybody... and you acted rather emotionally.
It never seemed to bother toby, toby was just happy, didnt matter what came with that happiness aslong as it was there. You just required a lot more attention, and affection... feeling emotionally drained with out it.
You remembered what masky said though, so you tried to reason in tobys work schedule. You figured 8 hours of sleep he got between working was enough time to spend with him. Until they baby came... and he could move on from his job to... well... you weren't really sure.
You didnt know what was going happen after the baby.. and after you guys moved.. or even if you were going to move..
Could he even spend time with you afterwards?
Its best not to think about it...
You knew you needed control over your feelings... and your mental state... and just not thinking about it was a coping mechanism...
You decided you would wait until later to develop healthy ways to deal with your trauma but for now this worked the best..
You continued eating.. rubbing your stomach. You loved it so much... even if you didnt know them yet.
They already have done so much for you... and for you and tobys relationship...
They have given you a reason to actually.. be a better person. They gave you a reason to eat... a reason to act more rationally.. less clingy... less needy... less annoying if you must confess...
And with its arrival... you would finally have what you wanted for years. A family. A happy loving family. You were so excited... so happy... so just.. emotional at the though.. all these happy and loving feelings running through you when you thought about.
And you thought all of that... until the day toby didnt come home...
....
It was a rainy day. A day that hid the sun from you... and put in your in particular sad and needy mood.
You remember it perfectly... and normally... since everything was normal. So normal it was creepy now that you look back on it...
You woke up when he woke up.. two hours before he needed to go to work. You guys would either cuddle, eat, or just dick around until then. Like i said. Normal stuff.
He hovered over you... and kisses your lips. His hands either side of you...
The kiss got more and more aggressive and senusal... before you knew it. You were ontop... half dressed... with his hands in your shorts.
Thinking back to this... you were so blissfully unaware of what was going to happen just a few hours later.
You moaned... and toby pulled them off, pushing you into the bed. He was an amazing lover... its always the best when you have sex with someone your deeply connected with.
Not to mention.. he was the only person you were comfortable with.. the only person you could relax around
And you thought that maybe, he would always be, and that no one would ever get to know you like he knew you. No one would ever stare at your body like him... no one would ever get your love, the way he did.
And now thinking about that... you were fine with that. Its not like you would ever have done this with another person. Kidnapped or not.
You dug your nails softly into his back... letting him know that he made your knees weak. He groaned in reply.. and it sent shivers down your spine. He brushed your cheek with his thumb.. and looked into your eyes.. my god... he was so perfect...
You moaned... and bit your lip.. shutting your eyes tightly.. feeling your body tense.. and shake. He groaned again.. running his fingers through your hair, grabbing a soft hand full.
You know, maybe it wasnt a normal day..
Sex was never this good.. or passionate..
You both finished... and he laided beside you panting. You both being exhausted.. and wanting to go back to sleep. Responsibilities don't sleep though... and just like that. He was up and getting dressed.
He wrapped up the huge gash on the side of his face. It got all cracked and chapped during winter, and the snow didn't make it better, sometimes making it freeze and fall numb. He placed on his mask.. wearing it less and less as your guys relationship got stronger...
He layered up. Preparing for the ice and snow outside.
You never really went outside. So you never really worried about freezing over, but you worried for tobys sake.
He put on his jacket... and zipped it up tightly. Putting on a beanie, and a scarf, covering his mask and part of his face.
He was so handsome... so cute... you loved toby so much...
You missed him more... then you loved him though..
You didn't want to notice at first... that it was past the time he usually came home....
You didnt want to think about it... that it was 7 in the morning and he wasn't home.
You just sat there... watching the same friends episodes you had on dvd... over and over again until the sweet allure of sleep dragged you under.
You woke up the next day, cold... and alone. You woke up sharply... gasping as if someone just shook you... but they didn't... it was just you... and the same episode of friends that has been playing all night.
This scared you.
You were still on the couch..
It was light outside, pale purplish daylight, like the sun would be going down soon.
The house was cold.. and everything was undisturbed.
Toby didn't come home last night.
You didn't panic right away like you use too... but you decided it was normal.. and would be home any moments...
It would be fine..
You would be ok..
You just had to eat...
You got up... starting up the stove.. heating up some water.
You got out some bread... placing it in the toaster.. and got out some eggs and butter.
You cooked your breakfast... and sat down at the table...
7:45...
Still not here...
You sighed... and forced yourself to eat..
You weren't hungry
You were scared
But the baby didn't know any better... so you decided to eat anyway..
You sniffled slightly... feeling tears come to your eyes..
No..
You were fine..
Stop crying...
You continued to eat... deciding you would need to get your mind off of it.
You tapped your nails.. and you slowly ate your food...
this meal felt like an eternity
You finished up and did the dishes...
You missed him...
When would he come home...?
You felt more tears come to your eyes and you blinked them away.
You were fine... it was ok
He would come back.
You sighed heavily... and decided to watch more tv.
You sat on the coach... and turned on the tv, selecting another episode of friends.
"No one told you life was gonna be this way..."
You smiled and felt the weight in your chest get lighter.
"Your life's a joke, you're broke, your love life's doa..."
You started to calm down... getting lost in the opening...
you wished you could be on that show
Like you were one of the characters.. and that you could just disappear with in it.
You would be so happy. Just like them.
You continued to watch... being so sucked into the show...
it was an escape...
And eventually you fell asleep again...
....
You woke up to a darker house.
The same episode of friends playing in the background, it providing the only light. You still woke up alone and cold... and he was still gone...
You looked at the clock...
it was 3:45
Time for bed...
You got up... leaving the tv on...
dragging yourself to the bedroom...
Where was he...?
Why wasn't he coming home..?
Was he ok..?
You sniffled slightly... crawling into bed...
You wrapped yourself in blankets... covered your head... shutting your eyes tight.
You were fine....
there was no reason to cry...
You were ok...
Why couldn't you stop crying though..?
You missed him...
....
Man if you missed him this much right now... the next two weeks would he a living hell...