Lance pulled his head away from Keith, “sorry.”
Keith frowned at the boy he just kissed, “what are you apologizing? Did you not want it?”
Lance shook his head, “no no I wanted to, believe me I did. It’s just…” He trailed off, he didn’t really know how to word his feelings yet.
Keith’s mouth formed a tight line and he ran his hands through his hair. ”Just what? Look I’m not trying to pressure you to telling me about your feelings but you’re confusing me right now.”
Lance lowered his gaze, I was afraid of this . He looked back up, opening his mouth to say something, anything just please Keith somehow.
A knocked filled the room and both boys turned their attention towards the opened door.
“Hey the pizza is disappearing faster than my will to live. Wanna come get some?” Ashley leaned on the door frame, crossing her arms.
Lance shifted away from Keith, standing awakarly by the bed. “Yeah sorry.” He pulled the other boy up and walked towards Ashley, giving her a small smile as he entered the hallway.
---
Dinner was different than what Lance was anticipated, it was loud. He wasn't exactly sure what to do with himself, he had grown accustom to the uncomfortable silence that plagued his dinner table since Camillia left.
Still he pulled the shiny wooden chair out from the table and smiled as Pidge passed him a plate. Soon slices of pizza were being placed in front of him and Lance took a small bite of a piece before wolfing it down. When's the last time I ate? Gosh he couldn't remember, he knew it was lunch at school but that seemed so long ago. He continued to eat, occasionally joining in on the random conversations that were created.
After dinner Hunk,Shay and Pidge decided to go home, promising Lance to get the work he missed since Camillia told him to take the day off.
“I can skip if you want.” Keith adjusted his belt, avoiding Lances gaze.
Cute, “no I don't want you to miss any school.” In all reality Lance didn't want Keith to leave but he knew he should.
“Yeah you're right,” Keith turned to ask Hunk for a ride home before Camillia touched his shoulder.
“I can give you a ride to school tomorrow, if you want to stay the night. You two look like you need to discuss somethings.” She smiled warmly at both of them.
Keith nodded, “I would like that.”
---
It was around 11pm before the four of them turned in for the night. Ashley and Camillia heading towards their room while Keith and Lance headed to his new room. After arguing who would wear what to bed Lance found himself lying under sink sheets, hugging Keith's center.
He was exhausted, everything that had happened that day had began to wear down on Lance and all he wanted to do was sleep. He was drifting between conscience and sleep while Keith twitched where he was laying.
“You don't hate me right?”
Lance blinked a few times at Keith's voice, it sounded small. “No why would I?”
“I'm the reason you got kicked out. I'm the reason everything went to shit.” Keith started to tremble slightly, resulting in Lance pulling him closer.
No, this isn't his fault. Why does he feel like it is? He buried his face in the raven locks, “shhh it's not your fault.”
Keith shifted slightly, freeing his arm from where it was pinned down and wiped his face. “But if I didn't pressure you to be my friend and get closer to me you would have still been home. This wouldn't have happened.”
Lance frowned, he didn't want Keith to think this. “Keith, I got closer because I wanted to I suppose, unconsciously? You know how the chemicals work. If you're going to blame yourself you have to blame me too. Say what you want, but I don't and will never hate you.”
Keith nodded slightly, slight hiccups and shakes still rolling over his body. “Thank you Lance.”
“No problem, I'm glad I could help.”
Keith hummed, obviously on the verge of passing out and after a few minutes he was asleep.
Lance didn't sleep that night, he wanted to but his brain wouldn't settle down enough for him to sleep.
Stupid, pathetic, faggot. Lance gripped his hair tighter, praying he didn't wake Keith up. I wanted to choose Keith, why am I regretting it? It became harder to breath and Lance wanted nothing more than to disappear. Stop, I didn't want this. But the words didn't stop and Lance was on the verge of screaming.
I wanted this, I wanted to choose Keith. This wasn't a mistake, I made the right choice. Lance wiped his eyes, turning his back to Keith. Did I though?
---
“Keith wake up, you gotta get ready for school.” A female voice whispered throughout the room, a slight chuckle in her voice.
A groaned soon followed and Lance felt the bed dip up as Keith carefully climbed over him. Lance kept his eyes shut, pretending to be asleep as he listened to what his sister and soulmate were saying.
“How did you sleep?” A few hangers clicked together as Camillia scanned the closet of her brothers clothes, attempting to find something for Keith.
“Fine.” Silence filled the room, the only noise was the occasionally items being placed in Keith's hands. “Hey Cam, does Lance hate me?”
Lance nearly pried his eyes opened at that questioned but forced them to stay shut. He couldn't see his sister's face but he could imagine it. Her forehead slightly creased in thought and her right index finger would tap her cheek slightly.
“I can't say for sure but I highly doubt he does.” He could hear the warm smile in her voice and he followed the footsteps out of his room, listening to the door shut, leaving him alone.
He had managed to fall asleep sometimes after that, letting his mind slip into unconscious as he listened to a car pull out of the driveway.
He woke up around 10am groaning as he lifted his head off his pillow and stretched. I wonder who's home? He swung his legs over the bed, letting his toes wiggle on the floor.
He laughed slightly at his childish behavior and stood from the bed, quickly dressing in black sweatpants and a loose blue T-shirt. He ran his fingers through his hair and slowly opened the door. It was quite.
Lance walked down the stairs, turning into the kitchen in hope of finding some food before nearly smacking in Ashley. “Oh! I'm so sorry, I didn't think anyone was home.”
Ashley didn't even seem phased at Lance and simply shrugged, bringing a plain coffee cup to her mouth. “Morning.” She looked like she had just woken up, her hair was pulling into a messy bun and most of her piercings were removed. She wore a ripped black and red shirt and black shorts.
“Morning. Um where is everyone?” Lance felt awkward, he had never talked to Ashley alone before and as friendly as she was, she scared him.
She placed the cup on the counter, turning around to the fridge and opening it. “Well Keith is at school and Camillia is also at school. She had a test today.” She bent down slightly, grabbing a few things from the fridge, “want an omelet?”
Lance laughed slightly, “sure.”
“So how are you holding up?” Ashley broke a few eggs, keeping her eyes on the pan.
Lance looked down at the cup that was placed in his hand, some form of calming tea or whatever. “Pretty good! Better than expected.” He released a small laugh.
“Bull shit, I'm not someone you can lie to alright?” Ashley spun around and looked at the tanner boy. “I can tell you're not happy with your choice, so why did you choose Keith?” Her voice was cold, and Lance fought back a shiver.
How did she see right through me?! He shifted in his seat. “I don't know I was just drawn to him. Everything was telling me to go with him and the next thing I knew I was slamming the door on my parents.”
Ashley hummed, turning back to her cooking. “You love him then.”
Lance nearly choked on his tea. “What?! No I don't! I see him as a friend.”
“So you kiss all of your friends?”
He could feel his face heat up and his looked anywhere but Ashley, who didn't even glance at him.
“You saw that?” his voice was barely a whisper.
“Yup,” she popped the P at the end and flip the omelet over. “And I can tell you this much,” she pulled a plate from the cupboard and placed the omelet on it, “You loved it.” She handed the plate to Lance and turned around to make another one.
Lance took a bite of the food, sighing at the flavor. “This is really good, thank you.”
Ashley waved at Lance, “don't mention it, I'm glad you like it.”
Silence filled the air and Lance nibbled on his food. Do I like Keith? I mean he's a great guy and he's really nice and his lips are...shit. “Hey Ashley, when did you realize you were in love with my sister?”
Ashley placed her plate on the table, scratching her head in thought. “Honestly I liked her since I met her bit after our first kiss I knew I loved her.” She smiled at the memory and began to eat, obviously not ashamed of her feelings.
“I take it your parents didn't care?”
“Well I have two dads so yeah they were fine with it.”
Lance nodded at the new information. “So why do you think I'm in love with Keith?”
Ashley took a few more bites of her food, playing with her younger piercing for a few seconds. “Cause of how you look at him, it's different than how you look at everyone else. It's warmer. Like he's your entire world, plus you looked on cloud nine during that kiss.”
“I was,” Lance crossed his legs under the table, “but I can't put my emotions into words.”
Ashley raised her eyebrows over her coffee cup, “explain.”
Lance pushed his plate away, placing his head on his hands. “I don't know. It's like I don't like him when he's gone but when I see him I only want to be with him. Plus he doesn't deserve me, I'm garbage and he's so much better than me. Plus religion, I know that God doesn't approve. Also what of Keith doesn't like me back?! I can't stand rejection.”
Ashley bursted out laughing, “you actually think that Keith doesn't like you?! You must be blind or insane. Anyone could tell that he is completely in love with you. So you don't have to worry about that.”
“I suppose you're right.”
“Also,” she took a sip of coffee, “when I was first getting with Camillia she thought the same thing you did. Of course she didn't punch me but she wasn't exactly nice to me but the longer we talked the more she fell for me. I remember the first night we spent together after she was kicked out. She cried and cried and repeated that that I should hate her but I didn't. I knew that she was blinded by hatred but she eventually saw her way through it.”
So you're saying that Keith doesn't hate me?” Lance's voice sounded unsure and Ashley nodded.
“Look he will forgive you but not for long, I can tell he's hurt by the fact that you're acting like a couple but you claim to not like him more than friends. Just tell him what you really feel and everything will fall into place.” She stood from the table, grabbing the plates and placing them in the sink.
“What should I say to him?”
She shrugged, “whatever feels natural. Now I need to get to work, but make yourself at home.”
Lance watched her exit the room and he sighed. Whatever feels natural. Oh boy.
---
Lance stepped out of the shower, wrapping himself on a towel before heading to his room. He knew Ashley was gone but she moves quietly so he was never sure. He slowly dressed himself and sat on his bed, staring at his phone. I should text him.
(1:13) Lance : Hey can you come back over after school today?
Lance paced the room impatiently, he knew that Keith was in class but he still was anxious.
(1:23) Mullet : Sure, everything okay?
Lance paused before typing his response.
(1:24) Lance : Yeah, I just need to talk to you.
(1:25) Mullet : Alright, I'm going to go home first, I gotta tell my parents what is going on. I'll have my brother drop me off.
(1:26) Lance : Okay take your time, see you soon!
He put his phone on his desk, okay let's figure out what we need to say.
********************************
I'm grounded and going through a lot so sorry for not updating faster.