Julia
Teka, ano daw?
I'll go with him for two months? Two months?
Hinila niya yung braso ko kaya bigla akong natauhan. Teka, paanong...
"Let's go to the plane first before anything else, I'll explain to you later." Sabi niya habang hila-hila parin ako.
Nung nakapasok na kami sa loob ng eroplano, mas lalo akong naguluhan.
What's happening?
"We'll go there." Sabay turo niya sa bandang dulo ng airplane na 'to.
Hila-hila niya parin ako kaya hindi na 'ko nakapalag.
Pero, makakapalag pa ba 'ko kahit hindi niya 'ko hinihila?
"I'll help you sir," sabi nung stewardess na sobrang tangkad, she's even taller than Zach. Wow lang.
Tinulungan nga siya nung babae. They almost touch each other's hands dahil sa ginawa nila.
Pero, why would I even bother that? Mas kailangan kong pagtuunan ng pansin yung mga nangyayari ngayon.
"Here we go sir, enjoy your flight." Sabi nung stewardess then she smiled before assiting other people na papunta na sa seats nila.
"What was that?" I asked nung nakaupo na 'ko. This 'almost bed like' seat is so comfty, dagdag mo pa na nasa window side ako, mas lalong nakaka-enjoy.
Pero, hindi parin eh. I just can't believe all the things that happened a while ago up until now.
"Uhm, I booked a flight, 2 weeks ago..." panimula niya. Well, he have more stories and explanations to tell.
I just let him explain while keeping silent, listening to whatever he wants to say.
"I want to surprise you, kaya sobrang nag look forward ako na dumating 'tong araw na 'to." I smiled, so matagal na pala niyang pinaplano 'to.
Bago nangyari ang mga bagay na hindi naman dapat nangyari.
"Nung nalaman kong wala ka pang plano, and you're not even sure that you want to have a party that your parents wants you to have, doon na 'ko nakaisip ng idea na, why don't we travel together?"
"At first, I hesitated kasi hindi ko alam kung paano mang-surprise ng isang tao, it's not my thing. But the good thing is, your family supported me."
So all this time, tinago nila sakin 'to and I don't even have a clue, wow.
"So, don't worry, they knew it. Pinayagan ka nila na sumama sakin, even after all what happened, wala silang apila."
I nodded. And then nakaramdam ako ng kaba nung in-announce na aalis na raw yung airplane. Kaya napatigil rin si Zach.
Lord, alam mo naman na first time 'ko, pero sana 'wag naman pong maging last time dahil sa kaba ko.
"Is it your first time?" Tanong ni Zach habang nakangiti sakin. Psh.
I slowly nodded at napapikit nalang ako nung naramdaman kong nasa ere na 'ko.
But I opened my eyes nung naramdaman ko na hinawakan niya yung kamay 'ko.
"Trust me, it will be fine." Sabi niya at mas hinigpitan niya pa yung hawak niya sa kamay ko.
"Hey, why are you crying?" He asked. Nilagay ko yung kamay ko sa mukha ko at totoo nga, umiiyak nga 'ko.
I didn't answer him. Ewan, ang gulo parin ng nararamdaman ko. Sobrang mixed emotions.
"I'm sorry." I stopped upon hearing what he said.
"Don't feel sorry for me, it's my fault. Kitang-kita naman na kasalanan ko talaga." I said, still looking at the window, enjoying the view of the beautiful clouds. Buti hindi pa masyadong madilim kahit anong oras na.
Naramdaman kong napahinga siya ng malalim.
"Are we still together?" He asked, looking at me.
"What do you mean?" Tanong ko pabalik, pretending that I didn't understand his question.
"I mean, ilang beses na natin 'tong tinatanong sa isa't isa, yet we still don't know the answer." He said, still looking at me.
Na kung pwede lang matunaw, eh kanina ko pa nagawa.
"Pero ako, I wanted to know the answer coming from you, right at this moment. Because I badly want to hear it kasi ang hirap eh, it's so hard to think whether my actions will be okay whenever I'm with you, whether tama ba lahat ng sinasabi ko kasi, baka hindi tama. But, if you're still not ready, then---"
"Yes, Zach." I said, while staring at him, while staring at each other, eye to eye.
"What?" He said, while his eyes are in shock.
"I am tired to think of all the what ifs, mga bakit, mga paano at sa lahat ng mga oras na umiiyak ako, sinisisi ang sarili ko sa lahat ng nangyari. I am tired of reminding myself na, break na kami kahit yung puso ko, eh gustong gusto na i-save 'to, iligtas kung ano yung meron tayo." I said, while catching my breath.
But I'm willing to be breathless, masabi ko lang lahat ng saloobin ko at para maayos narin ang lahat.
"I just want to be happy, Zach. And I'm choosing you, Zach...because you make me happy. And I'm sorry, sa lahat ng mga inperfections na meron ako, sorry dahil nag jump agad ako sa conclusion, sorry if I ran away from you, if I didn't let you to talk to me, to explain yourself, to give you a chance. I'm sorry dahil ipinaabot ko pa sa ganito ang lahat, sorry if I'm such a fool on making a decision to let my happiness be taken away from me."
He held both of my hands, while still staring at each other, eyes that is full of tears yet eyes that is full of love.
"It's okay. I know that you're at fault too, yet I already forgave you because you deserve forgiveness. Pero, hindi kita masisisi kung nagawa mo lahat ng 'to, because in the first place, hinayaan ko yung sarili ko na mapunta sa posisyon kung saan posible kang masaktan, at paghinalaan ako. Sorry because even if I didn't sign the paper, nasaktan ka parin, and I let you thought that I was going to be married with Charisse.
"I love you, you know that. You are the most precious thing that I have right now and our relationship is the most amazing thing that happened in my entire life. And from now on, I won't let one of my mosts be taken away from me." Then he kissed my forehead.
"Thank you, Zach. Thank you for everything." I said then I let myself hug him very tight.
"God, I missed you, I miss everything about you." He said so I smiled. Ako rin, sobra sobra ko 'tong namiss.
"So, are we really okay now? Can we start over again?" He asked kaya napangiti nanaman ako, I don't care kung magmukha na 'kong baliw sa harap ng mga tao, kakangiti ko.
It's just because I'm happy, because one of my reasons to be happy is here...with me.
"Yes. Please let us be okay, I missed having you by my side again. Nasa tabi nga kita, yet you seem so far away from me. But now, I'm very close to you, and I won't let you be away from me again, never ever."
"Okay. Then let's be okay. Let's be happy, let's forget about every toxic things and toxic people that we encountered." Then he patted my head.
I thought, having an all-natural conversation will be impossible to happen again. But look at us, we're both happy.
He's right, we should forget about the bad things, na nangyari. But, we shouldn't forget all the things that we've learned and we'll continue learning after what happened.
"I love you." He said. That makes my heart flutter, hindi na dahil sa kaba or anxious feelings, but because of the happiness that we both have right now.
"I love you too, Zach." I said then we hugged each other again.
"I love you but, can I rest for a bit? You know, my body's tired, but my mind is more exhausted." Then he laughed, na sobrang namiss ko rin sa kanya.
Kung may i sstuck man ako na memory sa utak ko, hindi yung first time na makita ko siya kundi yung mga times na parati siyang nakangiti--na minsan lang niyang gawin.
"Yeah, sure. Sorry dahil nabigla kita but you can sleep on my shoulder." Sabi niya at tin-ap niya yung balikat niya.
"Okay, goodnight." I said before letting myself asleep...
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Naalimpungatan ako sa ingay na naririnig ko.
"Oh, gising ka na pala. Here's your dinner."
"Thank you." Sabi ko at nilapag na sa mesa yung tray na may dinner na sobra pa yata sakin.
Yung ingay pala na narinig ko ay yung mga tao sa harapan na nag kkwentuhan, mukhang isang barangay sila na nakasakay dito.
"How's your sleep? Napanaginipan mo ba 'ko?" He asked then he smirked. Nako, bumabalik nanaman siya.
"Buti nga, hindi eh." Sabi ko at pinagpatuloy ko nalang yung pagkain ko.
"Sayang. Pero kahit na ganun, pwede mo parin naman akong makita araw-araw." Sabi niya sabay taas-baba ng kilay niya.
"Nubayan, sana pala nag stay nalang ako sa dream ko." I said, rolling my eyes.
Ang saya lang sa pakiramdam na mag-asaran ulit kami ng ganito, like what we used to do.
"Hay, kumain ka na nga lang." He said, giving up. Napatawa ako dahil sa sinabi niya. Muntik pa nga 'kong mabulunan.
Tumingin naman sakin ng kakaiba yung stewardess kanina na tumulong kay Zach, papalapit siya samin.
Kaya tinitigan ko rin siya at nagsmile ako. Nagsmile din naman siya sakin pero kakaiba talaga yung tingin niya.
"Hi Mister Lopez, do you need anything?" Eh ako ba, hindi mo tatanungin kung may kailangan ako?
"Uhm, wala naman. Kung may isang kailangan lang ako, siya 'yun." Sabay turo sakin. Napatingin naman ako sa kanya bigla.
Napasmile naman siya kay Zach at muling tumingin sakin ng kakaiba. Ano bang problema nito?
"Sige sir, mukhang contented na po talaga kayo. But please don't hesitate to call me anytime if you needed anything sir, and ma'am." Then nag smile ulit siya kay Zach at naglakad na papalayo.
"May something sa kanya." Komento ko nung medyo malayo na siya samin.
"What do you mean?" Tanong niya.
"Kanina niya pa 'ko tinititigan, ang weird niya."
"Bakit, sino bang hindi mapapatitig sayo?" Tanong niya at tinitigan ako.
"S-sabi ko nga, kakain na 'ko eh." Sabi ko at finocus nalang yung attention ko sa pagkain.
"Yeah, she's weird." Napatingin ako sa kanya nung sinabi niya 'yun. So hindi lang pala ako yung nakapansin?
"Weird? Bakit, hindi ka pa ba sanay na may gumaganon sayo?" Asking, while my brows are arched.
"Anong gumaganon?" Curious niyang tanong.
"Like, paano ba 'to...uhm, like parang flirting?" I asked.
Pero tinawanan lang niya 'ko.
"So, tell me kung kailan mo 'ko nakitang gumanon?" Tanong niya. Napaisip ako.
"Hello, there's Charisse and Cashmere." His face turned into a serious one. Bakit, totoo ba?
"What did I said to you earlier?" He asked. Bigla nanaman akong kinabahan.
What is that?
Inisip ko mg mabuti yung mga sinabi niya and then I realized what is it.
Forget toxic people.
"Sabi ko nga, hindi ka flirt eh." Then I just smiled at him.
"By the way, kanina ko pa gustong tanungin 'to sayo." Sabi ko, for us to change our topic narin.
"What is it?" He asked.
"Saan ba tayo pupunta?" I asked.
Since hindi niya pa na mmention sakin 'to kanina, kahit nung una niyang sinabi 'to sakin after kong magising, wala akong narinig na lugar.
"We're going to Hongkong." Nanlaki yung mata ko sa sinabi niya.
Wow, finally. Makakapunta narin ako sa place who every kids and young at heart wants to go to.
"Wow, as in wow." Sabi ko habang amazed na amazed sa narinig ko.
Now, I'm looking forward to everything that is going to happen on this trip!
"But, my clothes?" I asked. Napailing lang siya kaya nagulat ako.
Wala 'kong damit?
"No, that's not what I meant. 2 weeks akong nagplano, right? So it's impossible for me to forget your clothes."
Huh? Paano niya nadala lahat ng 'yun? Eh meron pa 'kong damit na naiwan sa bahay?
"Your mom bought your clothes. Kasi kung mapapansin mo, may damit ka pa sa bahay niyo. That's her gift for you."
Wow, as in wow nanaman.
Kaya pala, sinabi ni mama na hindi niya pa ibibigay agad yung regalo niya at kumindat pa sakin.
"Like what I told you earlier, your family helped me to make this possible. Your passport, clothes, some pocket money, at lahat lahat, inasikaso nila."
"Because they love you so much, enough to do sacrifices only just for you." He added.
I smiled. Tama, they're beside me everytime. Whatever happens, they are always with me.
Lalo na nung mga panahong kailangan ko sila, nung first heartbreak ko, when papa died even they are in pain too, nung ilang beses akong na hospitalize, and even when I was drowned, ramdam ko na nandyan sila sa tabi ko kahit anong mangyari.
"I wish I have a family like yours..." he said, I held his hand and reassured him that it's okay since I'm here.
Naramdaman ko na may nakatingin samin at nakita ko mula sa malayo yung stewardess kanina na umiiyak.
Nung makita niya 'kong nakatingin, nag-iwas siya ng tingin at tsaka tumalikod samin.
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