Chapter 14
“You came.” Jace said with surprise as he opened the door for me later that day.
I nodded, offering Jace a subtle smile. “I did,” I confirmed, holding up a paper mug that held Jace’s hot chocolate inside, “and I brought you a drink, courtesy of Ryan.”
Jace gave me a weak smile before allowing me inside, taking the lukewarm drink in his palms. “Thanks.”
“Don’t thank me.” I muttered, standing aside uncomfortably after I kicked off my worn out boots. I stood in my mismatched socks as I wiggled my toes, feeling the softness of the carpeting in Jace’s house under my feet. Before I got too comfortable with myself here, I piped up. “So, what did you want to talk about?”
“Straight to the point, huh?” Jace tried to crack a joke, but unfortunately, he didn’t earn any smiles from me. “Come sit down first.”
Jace guided me to his living room, perching down on the couch as I chose to sit at the opposite end of him. I didn’t know if my eyes were deceiving me, but I might’ve seen Jace stare at the empty space between us momentarily.
An uncomfortable silence ate away between us, creating a thick tension in the atmosphere. I dwindled my thumbs, trying my best not to glance over at Jace as he tapped his fingers against the armrest of the couch. I began to lose my patience after an awful few minutes of complete and utter silence. “Jace.” I whispered unintentionally, his name rolling off the tip of my tongue. “Why am I here if you aren’t going to say anything?”
“Well, I’m not really sure what to say to someone who told me that I don’t mean a flying fuck to them.” Jace snapped at me, causing me to flinch and sink back into my seat. Where the hell did this profound anger come from? Once Jace noticed that he startled me, his face softened as he released a breath of air, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Shit, I’m sorry Everly.”
I shook my head immediately, gnawing on the insides of my cheeks. “No, it’s fine.” My voice shook, looking at anything but Jace.
Jace gulped, running a hand through his hair, which was already an effortless mess. “I, I,” he paused, hesitating on his words, “could you maybe sit closer to me?”
My eyes snapped towards his with surprise. “What?” I asked.
“I don’t like this distance between us.” Jace admitted.
I was reluctant to move, but I too, wanted to be near Jace. It wasn’t until now that I realized how warm and protected I felt whenever I was near Jace. Getting up from my position across from Jace, I inched closer to him, taking the nearest seat beside him. Our bodies became so close that my arm was brushing against his and my knee was barely touching his. I gulped nervously, wondering how come I never felt this attack of anxiety whenever I was near Jace before.
“I called you here because today, I realized something.” Jace started off, startling me once again by speaking without warning.
I blinked as I turned my face to his, my eyes widening when I realized that we were just mere inches apart. How the fuck did we manage to get close within a matter of a few seconds?
“W-what?” I asked, trying to control my irrational breathing at our close proximity.
I tried to force myself to back away from him, but I just couldn’t.
And neither did Jace.
“Today, after I watched you walk out of that therapy office, I realized that,” Jace paused, “that I never want to lose you, Everly.”
My heart was leaping.
As of now, I wanted nothing more than to kiss Jace.
“Really?” I gulped.
Jace nodded. “Really.” He repeated, his lips moving gently against my earlobe.
What the actual fuck was this boy doing to me?
“J-Jace,” I stammered, “I didn’t mean it. I didn’t mean it when I said you meant nothing to me.”
Jace suddenly smirked, nodding. “I already know that.”
I suddenly pulled my face away from his as I sat up straight, frowning with utter confusion. “What do you mean?”
“If I meant nothing to you, you wouldn’t have reacted so sensitively when I didn’t kiss you that night, am I right princess?” Jace said, amusement twinkling in his stupid, stupid twinkly eyes.
The words came tumbled out of my mouth before I realized what I had said. “I wouldn’t have overreacted if you weren’t kissing another girl two seconds after you got rid of me.” I snapped, oblivious to how jealous and hurt my tone sounded.
Something flashed in Jace’s eyes, but he quickly covered his interior as he cleared his throat. Running a hand through his hair, Jace rolled his lips inside his mouth, looking troubled. “Everly, listen, it’s not what you think.” He started off, sounding almost nervous. “Christiana and I-.”
“-have a past.” I finished off, nodding. “Right, I completely get it.”
“No, you don’t, Everly.” Jace sighed. “I swear I didn’t even know Christiana was coming to Ryan’s party that night. It’s just when she did, I saw her with some asshole that was trying to spike her drink. We broke up a while ago, but I still wouldn’t want anything to happen to her. So, I took her away from him and she just started kissing me.”
I blinked, staring at anywhere and anything but Jace. I didn’t want to show him my vulnerability as I held in my breath, feeling light-headed. “So what?” I asked next. “You let her kiss you because you still like her, right?”
Jace shook his head. “It’s not like that.”
I was disappointed. I was hoping that Jace would tell me that he didn’t like her anymore, but he didn’t say anything of that matter. I felt my heart sinking deep into the very bottom of my stomach as I nodded, trying to tell him that I understood completely when I was so fucking confused. “Oh.” I mumbled, biting the insides of my cheeks.
I didn’t realize that Jace’s hand had gotten so close to me, but before I knew it, his thumb had slowly stroked against my cheekbone, brushing a lock of my brown hair behind my ear. I felt my breath shudder as I flinched from his touch.
“Everly,” Jace breathed calmly; so completely calm when I was panicking on the inside, “it’s not that I didn’t want to kiss you.”
I gulped, glancing up at Jace through my eyelashes. “What?”
“I really did want to kiss you.” A small smile crept onto his face. Jace’s eyes closed and I swear, I almost thought he was going to kiss me. “But-.”
I stopped Jace.
Did I really want to know why he didn’t want to kiss me? Was I really capable of taking it?
“You don’t have to tell me.” I stated, backing away from Jace, feeling an unfamiliar and cold distance between us. “I don’t want that reason getting in the way of what we have already.”
Jace frowned, repeating confusedly, “What we have already?”
“Yes.” I nodded, forcing a smile. “Our friendship.”
Jace suddenly looked pained, but he quickly concealed it. “Oh.” He nodded slowly, giving me a weak smile. “Right, our friendship.”
I glanced over at the clock, realizing that it was getting late. I got up from Jace’s couch as I stood up, giving him one last smile. “I should go now.” I pointed towards the door. “I’ll see you after school tomorrow. Don’t be late for our tutoring session.”
“I wouldn’t want to miss it.” Jace replied.
I walked away from Jace, my head hanging low.
Friendship.
*
The second I walked into my home that night, I was faced with the wrath of my mother. She planked herself on the old rocking chair that was in my living room, staring straight in my eyes, almost startling me when I walked in. Judging by the way her face had a sour expression and that her arms were crossed over her chest, I could tell that she was royally pissed.
I decided to ignore her as I continued to walk my way up the stairs, but before my right foot could even brush against the bottom step, her voice stopped me. “Everly,” her tone was strict and demanding, “I need to have a word with you.”
My mother and I have spoken very little since our last confrontation, and I wasn’t ready yet for another one. Jace and I had just made up and I was in a good mood. I didn’t need for my mother to ruin it. “I’m tired.” I tried to excuse myself. “Can this wait?”
My mother’s eyes flashed as she tightened her jaw, pressing her lips together in a thin line. “No.” she spat, raising an eyebrow. “Get over here immediately.”
I had no energy to argue with my mother, so I put on my obedient front as I let out an exhausted sigh, making my way towards the living room. Sitting myself down on the couch, I rested my elbow on the armrest, holding my head up. “What is it?” I asked impatiently.
“I received a call from your father this afternoon.” My mother started off. “He told me that he’s spoken to you. Why wouldn’t you tell me that he called? And why wouldn’t you consult me first before agreeing to fly out to Los Angeles to him during Spring Break?”
My eyes snapped towards her with disbelief as I let out a mocked laugh. “Are you serious?” I asked, shaking my head. “Why would I tell you, out of all people?”
“Because I am your mother!” she shouted.
“My mother wouldn’t rip our family apart.” I said, lowering my tone as I adverted my gaze from her. I couldn’t stand to look her in the eye- she disappointed me too much.
I noticed how quiet my mother got as she let out a breath of air. “I can’t do this anymore, Everly. I can’t try with you anymore. I’ve admitted my mistakes; I’ve apologized and I’ve suffered. I’ve learnt my lesson, yet you still aren’t willing to forgive me.”
I closed my eyes, and unknowingly, I felt a tear roll down my cheek.
To be honest, I wasn’t sure when I was going to forgive my own mother. I wasn’t sure if I could ever forgive her.
“Is that it?” I whispered.
My mother stared back at me with shock as her eyes faltered. She frowned in pain before nodding. I got up, slowly pacing towards the stairs before sprinting up. Tears began coming in like a storm as I clamped a hand over my mouth to muffle the cries. Slamming my bedroom door shut, I leaned against it before sliding down slowly and painfully.
It was so insanely hard to sleep that night.
My tears had stained my pillow, leaving a damp mark. I peered over at my dimmed digit alarm clock, the time reading one thirty in the morning. I squeezed my eyes shut, hoping to get some sleep for school tomorrow but my body wasn’t willing to rest. I was too stuck up on my mother’s words.
Unintentionally, I grabbed my phone off my nightstand. I called the one person who I knew could make me feel better, no matter what the situation was.
“Hello?” A groggily and tired tone answered.
I instantly regretted calling Jace once I realized that I woke him up, knowing that there was school bright and early in the morning.
“Everly?” Jace asked, slurring my name due to him being half-asleep and half-awake.
“I-I’m sorry.” I spoke, not realizing how croaky my voice was. I quickly cleared my throat to avoid any suspicion. “I’m sorry; you’re probably sleeping, right? Crap, I forgot there was still school tomorrow. Sorry for waking you up, I’ll just hang up now so that you can-.”
“Everly,” Jace said again, cutting me off. He seemed to be completely awake now, his voice showing no signs of tiredness, “is everything okay?”
I took in a deep breath of air, feeling a heavy lump in my throat as I bit my lip from whimpering. “Yeah, everything’s fine.” I forced a cheerful tone. “Go back to sleep, Jace.”
I heard Jace rumbling on the other line and soon, footsteps. “Princess, you honestly can’t expect me to go back to bed knowing that something’s wrong with you.” He spoke, the sound of a door opening and closing becoming audible. “I’ll be over at your house in ten minutes. Leave your bedroom window unlocked.”
I know I am horrible for the lack of updates, but school is finally over! I've already written a few chapters ahead of time, so expect more frequent updates. Thank you all for bein patient! :)