Chapter Thirty Nine.
"Please."
Justin’s Point Of View
Two Hours Earlier.
The streets of Clayton, North Carolina were once the streets I had hated the most. I used to hate walking these goddamn sidewalks, not knowing where they’d lead or whom they’d bring. I never pictured myself to like it here but here I am walking the same streets that once drove me crazy, but instead I’m walking them thinking about the girl that I am madly in love with.
There’s never been a time in my life that I have ever thought about a girl without picturing them on the pole or on the cover of a magazine. I never thought about a girl more than just an object or a whore. But the day I met this stubborn, crazy, and insane girl Bella was the day I changed my ways and that is something I will never be able to explain to anyone.
This past week in Arizona has just opened up my eyes to so many things. For one, I’ve never thought about the future at any point in time but the moment Bella and I were in that god-forsaken tub I started to think about ours. That’s the scary thing. I wasn’t thinking about mine, I was thinking about ours.
I let my mind wander to where it never has been before that night and I started to think about our life when we graduated high school and when we would get married. I’ve never even thought about marriage until she walked in. I know we haven’t known each other that long and I know some might say we took it way too fast and I can’t blame them because we did take it too fast.
But that’s our generation now. We, as teenagers, fall for someone way too fast without thinking about the outcome. In my opinion we can’t change how we feel and in some unexplainable way I think that’s what is the most unique about us as humans. We can’t stop the way our heart wants us to feel so some people try to hide this fact and they try to put off those feelings. At first when I met her, that’s exactly what I wanted to do. I wanted to stay away from her and never see her again so that stupid feeling in my heart that I got wouldn’t happen again. But then our mind works in mysterious ways as well. It runs and runs and it won’t stop running until you finally just say, dammit okay, you win. So you end up following your heart after your mind keeps annoying you and then you end up happier than you ever thought you would be. That, I think, is incredible and I wouldn’t change what has happened between Bella and I for the world.
As my feet hit the familiar sidewalk that I usually walk, I heard something behind me but when I turned my back to look nothing was there. Thinking it was an animal or something, I continued on my way to the flower spot where I usually go to think at night. Ever since I took her there I just wanted to be there with her again. I wanted to make love to her again in those flowers and see those gorgeous blue eyes of hers stare into mine as I gave every ounce of feeling I had towards her. I wanted to show her how much I was in love with her and how I’d never ever let her go.
As soon as I was in the flowers, I pulled out my phone to text her until I felt a punch to my side and fell to the ground. The pain was radiating throughout my whole entire stomach and all I could think of was how much I wanted to beat the crap out of whoever did that.
When I looked up to see who had done it I felt like I just had gotten kicked in the gut again when Roger was looking down at me with a gun pointed directly in my direction.
“Whoa.” I started to back up in the flowers until his foot stepped on my sweatpants so I couldn’t move. I didn’t know what to do except be frozen in place.
“Why are you doing this?” I choked out.
The only person that was on my mind right now was Bella. I couldn’t think about anything except her as I stared at the gun that was inches from my head. I didn’t want to die. I didn’t want my life to be over with, I wasn’t ready.
“I told you that you didn’t have a choice out of the gang.” He seethed. “When we tell you to do something, you do it. Don’t you get that? I told you from the beginning that if you screwed us over then this would happen.”
“But I did you want you wanted me to!” I yelled, the adrenaline coursing through my veins. “I don’t understand.”
“You blew us in to that dumb ass girl of yours Justin. No one was supposed to know about it and now she’s a witness. You think she’s not going to go back and say something to the police? You’re stupid if you don’t think that.”
“She won’t.” I gulped and moved my phone behind me so I could send one last text message to her if this was really it.
“And how do you know that?” He asked.
“Because she loves me.”
The tears started to come into my eyes when nothing that I was saying was stopping him. Nothing I said was changing his mind and even though the words that I had just spoken were true, he just started to laugh and shook his head. The only thing I could think of was her laugh and her smile. I wanted her to be here and tell me she loved me. I wanted to hear it one last time. I wanted to hear her whisper in my ear and watch her look at me like she always does. If my last breath were to be taken in the next few seconds, I wanted my thoughts to be of her.
“You’re just as weak as I thought you were.” He chuckled and put his finger on the trigger, making every hair on my body stand up.
“No!” I screamed. “Please don’t d-“
Bella’s Point Of View.
Bang
Bang
Bang
The noises rung into my ears and it felt like a knife had just gone straight through my heart. I couldn’t get to my car fast enough and I couldn’t get the tears to stop flowing out of my eyes.
Stop jumping to conclusions. Stop jumping to conclusions.
As much as I tried to reassure myself, that didn’t stop me from sobbing as I tried everything I could to run as fast as possible down the street. I hate myself for parking and deciding to walk to see if I could find him. I should have just stayed in my stupid car.
My fingers tried to grasp onto the keys but they were shaking so badly I couldn’t hold them properly. My legs were running, each limb slamming down onto the pavement and finally my car glimmered underneath the street light as I tried to hit the unlock key.
“Dammit!” I cursed myself when I tried to open up the door and it wouldn’t unlock.
I didn’t want the sounds I had just heard to be what I thought it was but what else could it be? Nobody would be hunting around town and the fact that he had just gotten out of a gang was just a for sure sign that it was him. Oh my god he just got shot.
Stop jumping to conclusions. Stop jumping to conclusions.
“Shut up!” I screamed and put my face into my hands, letting the sobs escape out of my mouth. “Fuck!”
My fists slammed against the steering wheel multiple times, trying to get every ounce of anger out as I could. I knew it. I never should have left him out of my site. I should have stayed longer with him and I should have held him in my arms longer. Now I have no clue where the hell he is. He could be lying on the cold hard ground and here I sit in my damn car trying to find him.
As I pulled out into the street I couldn’t see anything except all of my tears. I probably shouldn’t be driving right now but I had no other choice. I was just praying by some miracle that this wasn’t what I thought it was and that maybe god would be on my side for once. Maybe, just maybe, things would work out in my favor and it was just some stupid hunter that decided to break the town law and go hunting here.
My tears started to come out more when I realized I had no idea where I was even going. I was driving in circles and there wasn’t a single thing I could do about it. I had no idea where this gang was located or where they would do such a thing. Or was it even the gang? Were they the ones that did this or was it someone else?
Suddenly, I remembered back to one of the first conversations I’ve ever had with Justin.
“Pull in here.” He spoke up, interrupting my thoughts.
I looked out the left side of the window and saw a park that was surrounded with flowers. It almost looked like a meadow… it was so beautiful. I scanned the different colors of flowers that were mixed with the autumn leaves and I couldn’t help but wonder how I’d never been here before.
“This is really pretty.” I admitted, putting the car in park.
He nodded and got out of the car to stomp his cigarette out. I shut the door behind me and didn’t even wait for him to head towards the flowers. Feeling the leaves crunch beneath my feet, I found a clearing that was almost right in the middle and sat down to stretch my legs out. This was certainly a lot better than being at school right now.
Justin sat down next to me and laid down onto his back to look up at the sky. Following his lead, I laid down beside him and turned my head to look at him, trying to ignore how attracted I was to him. He has got to be one of the most good-looking guys I’ve ever seen in my life.
He turned his head so he was staring at me and it almost looked like he knew exactly what I was thinking because he started to laugh and looked away again. I felt my cheeks burn and fumbled with my fingers on my stomach to try and get rid of the awkwardness. I’m not sure why I was still into this kid after what he’s said to me but there was just something about him… I couldn’t explain it.
“So how did you find this place?” I spoke up, feeling the cool air hit my face.
“I don’t know.” He shrugged. “I walked here after school one day and found it.”
I turned my gaze towards the sky and closed my eyes to breathe in the fresh air. This really did relax me believe it or not. I’m still not sure why he wanted to go here in the first place but I’m glad he did. It almost felt like my problems didn’t exist here and just for a minute I could forget about my shitty life.
“Do you come here a lot?” I questioned, keeping my gaze fixed on the sky.
I heard him take a deep breath.
“I guess.” He replied. “When I first moved here I hated it… I still do. I just come here to let off some stress whenever I get pissed.”
As soon as the memory hit me, I pounded my fist on the steering wheel again wondering how I could have been so stupid to not think of that. Of course that’s where he was, that’s where he always went… where we always went.
I turned around on a side street and ignored all of the speed limits, doing everything in my power to get to him fast enough. I just pray I’m not too late. I pray I’m not too late so I can hold him in my arms and tell him I love him once more. I want to see that stupid little grin he gives me every time I tell him something that I like about him or about the way he makes me feel. This just can’t be true. None of this can be true.
“Oh my god!” I screamed when a red light came into view and let the tears continue to stream down my cheeks. Why the hell is it taking so long to get there?
I wasn’t going to wait any longer so I zoomed right through the red light since no other cars were around and just kept praying to god that he didn’t let this happen to me. I know he wouldn’t do this to me. He wouldn’t take away the only person that’s ever been there for me.
“I know I don’t pray a lot.” I said out loud, the sobs escaping my mouth. “But I am begging you. Please don’t take him away from me… Please.”
Nothing else would leave my mind. The only thing I could do was sob in my car, the dry heaves escaping my mouth into a world that didn’t care and my heart breaking every second that I didn’t see his face.
A/N: I am so so so so sorry you guys. I know this is not how you wanted it to end but at the end of the last chapter, which is the next one, I promise I will explain to you why. I know that you are all furious and I am so sorry :(
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