Brightening light woke Rowan. The sight of golden leaves confused her for a second, before she remembered climbing the mallorn-tree the past night. Now assured of where she was, Rowan watched the golden leaves gently swaying in the breeze, mystified. The early sun filtered through the leaves and the pale-blue sky peeped among the branches. Songs of multiple songbirds echoed through the forest. It all looked and felt surreal.
Movement to her left caught her eye—Gimli sat up.
"Morning, lass," he greeted. "This is quite the sight to waken to."
"Morning. It is."
Boromir greeted her when she saw him bundling up the Elven cloak. She looked around for Aragorn, Legolas, or the three elves; none were in sight.
He answered the question in her eyes. "The others have already gone down."
When the trio descended, Aragorn and Legolas spoke with a golden-haired elf wearing shadowy-gray garments like the other elves. He hadn't been with the three elves up in the mallorn Rowan had slept in, but she knew who he was. The highly skilled and serious elf-captain of the Galadhrim played by the handsome Craig Parker. Haldir.
Their seemingly heated conversation continued in the Elven-tongue until Aragorn gave a curt nod, ending the talk, when the four hobbits clambered down their tree. The Ranger introduced Haldir and the elf by his side as his brother, Rúmil; he then named everyone in the Company.
At the mention of her, Haldir's eyes focused on Rowan. She held her breath, hoping he wouldn't hinder them because of his suspicion.
Luckily, he looked back at Aragorn. "Though you lack one of your company—which I am curious of—we will lead you through our land, as Elrond asked. But as agreed, the dwarf will go blindfolded with you and Legolas answering for him."
The news upset Gimli. "The agreement was made without my consent. I will not walk blindfolded like a beggar or a prisoner!"
"It is our law."
He planted his feet and crossed his arms. "I will go forward free like my companions."
Haldir looked ready to continue the argument, and Rowan knew Gimli would not relent. She remembered how he was convinced in the book. "Gimli, please! We will all pass blindfolded so you will not be isolated."
The elf looked at her, intrigued. Gimli laughed. "A merry troop of fools, we shall look! Will Haldir lead us all on a string, like many blind beggars with one dog?" He looked at the elf mentioned. "I will be content with that, but I shall claim amends for every fall and stubbed toe."
"We will not stumble," Rowan stated. "Haldir will lead us well." An elf bound a strip of cloth over her eyes.
Gimli grunted. "I trust you, Rowan; not so the pointy-ears."
"Our lady possesses foresight," Sam said from seeing the probable question mark over Haldir's head.
She felt the elf's gaze linger on her, but he didn't comment.
Once everyone was blindfolded, Haldir and Rúmil guided them deeper into the Golden Wood. Not being able to see, Rowan feared feeling the sensation of claustrophobia, but her worry wasn't needed because everything remained open around her—not crowding—and a breeze blew on her face. The fresh, woodsy scent of trees mixed with the aroma of flowers and the soft grass cushioned her feet. Her hearing improved too—a river flowed to her far right, leaves rustled overhead, and various birds chirped, twittered, and sang. Being blind wasn't so bad after all.
At some point, Rowan felt a difference in the air—it seemed alive; thriving with power. Frodo heard Lady Galadriel warning him of entering when he crossed the borders of Lórien in the movie, but didn't the Fellowship experience this in the book?
They walked for the rest of the day and even slept with the blindfolds still on, for the elves wouldn't allow them to be removed. The next day passed just the same until noon, when they stopped, and Rowan felt the presence of more elves. Haldir responded to the new arrivals in the Elven-tongue.
"They bring me a message from the lord and lady of the Galadhrim," Haldir said. "You are all to walk free, even the dwarf, Gimli. The lady knows who and what is each member of your Company."
He apologized to Gimli as he, his brother, and the others went around removing the cloths. Rowan knew that the emphasis on 'what' had been directed at her and when Haldir unbound her eyes, he looked at her long and hard. Her gaze dropped to the grass.
When he walked off, Rowan looked around. Now out of the Golden Wood, they stood in an open space with the sun shining on them. Even with it being winter, green grass covered a great mound. Two circles of trees grew upon it like a double crown: the outer had bark of snowy white and were leafless; the inner were mallorn-trees and arrayed in pale gold. A silver flet sat high in the branches. Golden flowers shaped like stars specked the green hillsides. Other flowers of white and green glimmered among them.
They rested there for a while, what Haldir called 'Cerin Amroth'. He, Frodo, and Sam trekked up to the high flet to look around, and even Aragorn wandered off at some point, lost in some memory.
The beautiful sight held a mystical, serene, and timeless aura about it. Peace settled into everyone as they either cast themselves on the ground or walked around, but Rowan didn't share a piece of the harmony the place invoked. Gandalf's death weighed on her soul. She felt like an outsider... because she was one.
***
The sinking sun and deepening shadows encouraged them to set out again. Haldir and Rúmil led them back into the dense forest, where night fell quicker.
Coming out, the sky was pale with evening dotted by a few early stars. Mallorn-trees encircled and grew atop a hill far before them. Multiple soft lights of green, gold, and silver twinkled.
"Caras Galadhon; Elvendom on earth!" Haldir announced when he stepped up beside them. "Here dwells the Lord Celeborn and Galadriel, the Lady of Lórien."
The Elven brothers took them into the Elven city. The soft lights twinkled everywhere—among the branches, lighting the path under their feet. Elves spoke above them, but Rowan couldn't see them atop the flets high above them.
Peter Jackson and his crew did a fantastic job capturing the spellbinding and other-worldly feel of Lothlórien for the movie, but it didn't hold a light compared to actually being here. They also accurately depicted the winding stairs leading up to flets; especially the one they headed to. Rowan knew who waited at the top.
As they ascended the endless stairs winding around the mallorn-tree, she passed many flets. A wide talan waited at the top and on it was a giant white structure with telltale Elven designs of vaulting roofs and open passages. Two seated elves rose when they approached—Celeborn and Galadriel. Both stood tall and clad in white. Lord Celeborn's hair hung long and silver; Lady Galadriel's was waves of deep gold.
Lord Celeborn greeted them all by name and bade them sit in the circle of chairs; Lady Galadriel never said a word, watching silently. The lady's eyes lingered on Rowan for a long time—she squirmed in her seat. All she wanted was to escape those eyes. Even though demure, the Lady of Light intimidated.
The lord and lady took their seats again when the Company seated.
"Nine there are here, yet ten set out from Rivendell," Lord Celeborn began. "Tell me where is Gandalf, for I much desire to speak with him. I cannot see him from afar."
Rowan kept her eyes on her knees, hoping Lady Galadriel couldn't see her guilt. She only saw a person through their eyes, right? Not their heart?
"He has fallen into shadow," Lady Galadriel whispered in disbelief.
A long pause filled the air.
"We traveled into Moria, where he stayed," Aragorn said quietly.
"It was a Balrog of Morgoth, for we went needlessly into Moria," Legolas stated.
Beside him, Gimli nodded. "I saw upon the bridge that which haunts our darkest dreams: Durin's Bane." He shuddered.
"Do not let the great emptiness of Khazad-dûm fill your heart, Gimli, son of Glóin, for the world has grown full of peril," Galadriel said. "And in all lands, love is now mingled with grief."
Seated beside her, Boromir's breathing grew uneven as he struggled with the lady's attention and her words.
"Needless were none of the deeds of Gandalf in life. Those that followed him knew not his mind and cannot report his full purpose. But however it may be with the guide, the followers are blameless."
At Galadriel's words, Rowan looked up, meeting her eyes—she had directed those words to her.
No longer should you bear Mithrandir's death. His fall would have come regardless of your presence, Lady Galadriel said in her head.
"These are evil tidings..." Lord Celeborn trailed off. Rowan looked to see the elf-lord with his chin in his hand, thinking. "Without Gandalf, I fear hope is lost."
"Hope remains, while the Company remains true," the lady stated. "Your quest stands upon the edge of a knife. Stray but a little and it will fail, to the ruin of all." With her warning, she looked at each.
"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Go now and rest, for you are weary with sorrow and much toil. Tonight, you shall sleep in peace," Lord Celeborn said, ending their council.
***
When the lord and lady bid them rest, Haldir and Rúmil once again led them down the flet and to a courtyard nestled among the large roots of a mallorn-tree. Set in the middle, a fountain made soft, tinkling music as it spewed water.
The hobbits were pleased to be resting on the ground again, not in the trees. Rowan cared neither way, just as long as she could sleep. Lady Galadriel's words lifted the guilt of Gandalf's death, but questions of what would happen without him still plagued her; especially in the next two books.
The Company ate together but then most separated to sit in isolation, probably considering what Galadriel said in their minds. Rowan was one of them. She hadn't mentally asked the Lady of Lórien for a private audience, for she had the impression the she-elf knew what she wanted.
Lady Galadriel could see into hearts, after all.
Soft footsteps sounded behind her. They weren't heavy clanks like Gimli or Boromir, and it wasn't Legolas because she couldn't hear him at all. They wore boots, so ruling out the hobbits, that left only one person.
Aragorn eased down beside her on the mallorn-tree root. Neither said anything for a while.
"Rowan," he began with a sigh. "Gandalf's death wasn't your fault."
She turned to him. "It's all my fault, Aragorn!" She scanned their surroundings and lowered her voice so no one could overhear. "He falls, in both the book and movie, but not like that—not with two arrows in his back. The Balrog drags him down with it; they fight, he dies, but he comes back—reborn.
"I thought I could save everyone heartache in thinking Gandalf was lost and make this quest easier with him still guiding you. Instead, I made the grief worse in killing him. He's not coming back at all now... I should've left everything alone."
The Ranger shook his head. "You don't know that; Gandalf could still come back like you've seen."
"I don't see how..." Tears brimmed in her eyes. "I haven't assisted the Fellowship like I thought."
Aragorn put his arm around her. "Yes, you have. You warned us about Saruman bewitching Caradhras; you solved the Doors to Moria, saving us from combating whatever lurked in that pool—yes, I saw you repeatedly glancing at those waters. In the Chamber of Records, you directed us on how best to fight and you saved Boromir.
"I'm not the only one glad to have you with us. I know Lord Elrond said you are not bound to the Fellowship—none of us are, to be truthful—but I believe you can assist us even further if you keep traveling with us."
His words lifted Rowan's spirits, but she still had to take a long look at going with them. The one thing she wanted to do was save Boromir, but if her saving him messed up the story, she might need to let him die.
Oh, that hurt. She had grown attached to these people and considered them friends. Knowing his fate and not doing anything to change it would eat away at her conscience...
"I have to think about it," Rowan said.
A slim form in gray appeared around the mallorn-tree and headed down the steps. Haldir stopped before them.
"Lady Galadriel wishes to speak with you, Rowan."