*April's pov*
[A month later June 11th I had the babies last week Ethan named them: Serenity Marie Choi and Ethan Alexander Choi Jr. Frankie is at the movies with Jo the newborns are sleeping and the older twins are spending the night at the Halsteads. We also signed the divorce papers. It's 6:30pm Ethan and I are having dinner I drink some wine as Ethan says:]
"I have to leave next week."
"So what does that mean for us?"
"I'm going to the treatment center but it's outpatient therapy. What do you say we go on a vacation just the two of us?"
"I can't leave Serenity and EJ. Even if we did take them it wouldn't be fair to the others."
"How about this you and I go to marriage counseling. When you were giving birth you died April and I realized that this isn't what I wanted our marriage to be like. I had spent so much time worrying about how I hurt you physically that I didn't know that I was hurting you emotionally. Does that make sense?"
"Sort of. I guess. What are you saying Ethan?"
"I think I should move out."
"What? Why?"
"We need to get back to basics so how about after every therapy session we go to dinner and talk about it or we can talk about anything you want. Recreate the romance build new bridges over familiar water. What do you say?"
"Can I think about it?"
"Take all the time you need. More wine?"
"I shouldn't."
"The babies are down for the night. Come on have a glass of wine with me."
"Okay. Just not too much."[Ethan refills our glasses an hour later we're in the kitchen dancing to no music I have my head on Ethan's chest we're swaying back and forth we don't notice Erin, Jay, Maggie, Barry, Natalie, Will, Jo, Logan, Kelly, Frankie, Gia, Rafi, Cam, Lena — Maggie's baby — and Xander standing there I whisper:]"I think we have an audience."
[I get out of the car and walk into Ethan's house I go in the kitchen I see them dancing I say:]
"Hey Ethan. I have something important to tell you but I need you sitting down. Oh my bad."
"No it's okay. I should check on the twins."
"We're fine Mommy."
"I know I'm talking about your little brother and sister."
"Do you want to go to dinner with me tomorrow night?"
"I would love to."
"Can I call you tomorrow April?"
"You better. Thanks for the dance."
"Hello Ethan I have news. Come on we can go outside."[we go outside and Ethan gets two beers out of the cooler and offers me one I say:]"No thanks."
"Did something happen to Mom and Dad?"
"No. They're fine just sit down."[He sits down Asher walks in grinning like an idiot he comes over and kisses me we kiss slowly and passionately we continue to kiss he pulls away and whispers softly:]
"I'm so in love with you and I honestly cannot wait until we have our baby."
"Asher."
"What's this important news?"
"You're gonna be an uncle!"
"Are you serious? I'm really gonna be an uncle? Do Mom and Dad know?"
"Nope you're the second to know. I want to make sure he's okay before I tell them."
"It's a boy? How long have you known?"
"I don't know yet. I didn't even find out until two months ago we wanted to hear the heartbeat I thought I was just missing a few cycles like I always have."
"How did you tell Asher?"
"I gave him one of those lame mugs that say: Best Dad Ever with the sonogram picture taped to it."
"I'm so happy for you. There's nothing better than parenthood. Congratulations little sister."
"Thank you. What did we walk into? I thought you had signed the papers."
"We did but uh I haven't sent them in yet. Maybe we made a mistake I just wanna see if we can work through it."
"Does April know you haven't sent them?"
"No. I don't want to jinx it. I'm still sleeping here but in the guest room and you know April is an amazing woman."
"So why'd you sign the papers?"
"I broke her heart and after everything she still smiles at me."
[Four months later October 15th Ethan and I have been going out every night for four months I'm getting dressed when Frankie says:]
"You look beautiful Mom."
"Thanks baby. Can you zip me up?"
"So Kelly asked me out on a date for Friday night."
"Yea your dad told me. Do you want to go?"
"Yes but Xander also asked me out for Saturday night."
"Okay. I'm not understanding."
"Well I don't know if I should tell them that the other asked me out."
"You are not in a relationship with either of them and you don't have a ring on your finger so you don't have to tell them anything if you don't want to."
"But I don't want anyone to think that I lead him on."
"So tell them if you think you should. It's your choice honey."
"April we're gonna miss our reservations."
"Just give me five minutes babe."
"You said that an hour ago."
"I heard that Alexander."[I pull out a sexy red dress and my black pumps I comb my hair out Serenity wakes up I go in the nursery and pump six bottles of milk for both of the twins I feed them both I'm burping EJ when Ethan comes in he says:]
"Honey we're gonna miss the reservation."
"I'm sorry I know. I just need him to go to sleep and then we can go."
"We don't have to go out tonight if you'd rather stay home."
"No we're going out. Is your mom here?"
"There's my favorite daughter in love. How are you honey?"
"Gia and Rafi were such good sleepers. Now with EJ and Serenity it's every three hours. I'm exhausted I have two three year olds who love to disobey, a teenager trying not to hurt anyone's feelings and I just wanna spend an hour or two with my guy not covered in spit up and not fussing at said three year olds to pick up their toys."
"Well hand over that baby boy and get out of here. I've got it."
"Hon you should change. EJ got you good."
"I give him food and this is what he does. I just pumped like six bottles for both of them. The older kids are with the Halsteads and I'm gonna go change. Thank you so much Momma."
[April hands me the baby she looks at Ethan he says:]
"What?"
"Is that the suit you wore on our first date?"
"Yea it is."
"Hmm. You look nice."
[April leaves I smack Ethan in the back of the head and say:]
"Idiot!"
"Ow Mom. What was that for?"
"For signing those papers. Do you honestly believe that your father and I never considered divorce? Of course we did. It was the summer between your junior and senior year in high school. You and Emily were spending the summer with your friends and we thought it would be easier but your grandmother just looked at me and told me: remember why you fell in love with him. Remember the way that he makes you laugh and if you still want a divorce then so be it but try to make it work first."
"I've been having PTSD and I choked April twice."
"I know she told me. You felt so strongly about hurting her physically that you didn't realize the damage you did emotionally when you brought up divorce right?"
"Yea."[we take the babies downstairs and put them in the bassinets they're sleeping Mom pours herself a glass of wine and says:]
"What's the point of these dates?"
"What do you mean Mom?"
"Why did you ask April out?"
"To reignite the flame. I'm gonna get her back Mom."
"Good but you shouldn't have let her go in the first place."
"I know."
"Did you move out?"
"Yea but I'm here more than I am at the apartment. This woman can never be anywhere on time."
"Be patient. She wants to look good for you."
"I understand that but if we don't leave in the next twenty minutes we are going to lose our reservation."
"Where are you taking her?"
"Someplace very special. It means a lot to us. It's the reason why we got married."
[Its almost eight pm I put my shoes on and go downstairs Ethan and Nancy are talking he looks at me and goes back to talking then looks at me again speechless Nancy says:]
"Now don't you think it was worth being late?"
[I step closer to April and pull her to me kissing her she wraps her arms around me and kisses me we kiss slowly and passionately we continue to kiss. We fight for control kissing for what seems like forever April steps back and pants out:]
"I'm sorry it took me so long. I didn't like anything I tried on."
"I didn't mean to ambush you like that."
"It's alright. I like being ambushed like that by you. That's the second time you've done that."
"Really?"
"Yea. The first time was the night I met your parents it was also the same night you asked me to exclusively be your girlfriend."
"Let's get out of here."[we leave and drive to the hospital we get out April asks:]
"Ethan what are we doing here?"
"This is where it all began. Right here in this emergency department. It was one of the best days of my life because you were standing right over there when I saw you for the first time. You had your hair in a bun and you were talking to Maggie and Sarah the three of you stopped talking when I walked in. I came over and asked if you knew where I could find Will Halstead that was the first time we spoke. I had begged Will to set us up but he simply said: April? Dude are you kidding me? She will kill me if I even bring it up. A few days later I saw you again you smiled at me but there was pain behind it. I was standing there when I knew that I wanted to know everything about the beautiful woman with the broken smile. I asked Will once again to set us up and he said that he would talk to your girlfriends and see what you said."
"You remember all of that?"
"It's one of the many reasons why I have turned down every offer from any other hospital."
"I remember you told me on our first date that you had never stayed in one place longer than six months. Said that you hoped Chicago would be different maybe put some roots down and see what grows."
"Yea. A lot grew."
"So I've been meaning to tell you this for a few days now. I got an offer to teach at Columbia it's a really good opportunity but there's a lot to consider. Random question where the hell is everyone?"
"Come on. I want to show you something."[We go into the cafeteria there's white Christmas lights everywhere there's a table with candlelight dinner April says:]
"Ethan when did you do this?"
"I didn't do anything. It was all Maggie and your other girlfriends. Said even if they didn't understand it they wanted to see you happy. May I have this dance?"
"Of course."[We dance to no music I lay my head on Ethan's chest and feel a small paper I ask:]"What is that?"
"Nothing."
"Come on let me see."
"Babe it's nothing."
"Ethan let me see."
"I'm leaving another tour. I didn't want to ruin what we have."
"When did you decide that you can't talk to me? When did we stop being friends?"
"I don't know."
"How long are you gonna be gone?"
"Two years and some months."
"My friends don't understand why we're going on dates when we're divorced and it got me thinking. Why are we going on dates?"
"Signing those divorce papers was the biggest mistake of my life. The reason why I am always at your house is because I miss you and my apartment is cold but not in temperature. It's the kind of cold that makes you wanna snuggle up by the fire with the love of your life in your arms but I was alone and since we met I had never felt that kind of loneliness. I'm so sorry for everything I did that ended our marriage. I can't apologize enough for how I treated you. I'm sorry."
"I forgive you but I had a part in it too. I take full responsibility for any of my actions that led to our divorce and the reason I didn't tell you about the pregnancy sooner is because when I lost the first baby I saw the light in your eyes dim a little bit and it dimmed even more with the second miscarriage. I live by the light in your eyes because it gives me hope and joy. I didn't tell you because if I lost the baby then I knew that light in your eyes would never shine again. After the first trimester was over I wanted to tell you but you were gone and I wanted to tell you in person. I'm sorry."
"I forgive you April."
"Why couldn't we say this stuff to each other when we were married?"
"You know what they say you never know what you have until it's gone."
"And what exactly did you have?"
"Everything I had ever dreamed of in the woman I married. Our children? Man that was beyond my wildest dreams."
"When you think about your future what do you see?"
"I see you and the kids. Me and you growing old together, celebrating our marriage years from now. What about you? When you think about your future what do you see April?"
"I see the kids growing up and moving out, going to college, getting married, starting their own families. Even if things don't happen in that order I will still be there loving them no matter what."
"Do you see anything about us?"
"Ethan I thought it was implied that you'd be there with me and the kids. Let me look at you."[I take a step back from Ethan we're staring into each other's eyes I put my hand on his cheek he shivers under my touch as his eyes light up I smile and say:]"I thought I'd never see that again."
"See what?"
"How much you love me. How you're saying everything that needs to be said with a single look, a single touch."
"Guys can you please come in here?"[all of our friends come into the cafeteria turning the lights on April looks at me and asks:]
"Have they been here this entire time?"
"Yea. I have a question for you."
"What's that?"
"I wrote you a note."
[Ethan pulls the paper out of his pocket I read it laughing I look at him and say:]
"I would love to start over with you."