⚠This contains swearing If you are offended easily then leave⚠
OKAY! So to start off I'm going to say, I. AM. SO. FUCKING. DONE. This is not a fUCKING DRILL!! I'm so hurt, confused, lost, alone. I'm just.. I can't even. So to start from the beginning of when my 2018 starts going to absolute shit. I had, HAD, a friend. Now this friend was someone I could trust and someone I saw as a bestfriend. NEVER AGAIN. Let's name this friend.. rachet-hoe. So, I was friend with rachet since the very forts day that she came to school. I was her first friend. Now we were friends for a very long time.. until! Another hoe came along and rachet decided I wasn't worth her time anymore and completely left me for this other hoe. Now I didn't like this hoe very much, she was mean to everyone, she dated anyone she could get her hands on, and she told me before that she didn't even like half of the people she went out with and she just wanted someone to date..... WHAT!?! Uhm, EXCUSE ME HOE!! PEOPLE AREN'T PLAY TOYS YOU GET TO THROW AWAY WHEN YOU'RE BORED!!! WHAT EVEN!?! Okay, so rachet hoe started to not like this dickhopper anymore so she decided to come crawling back to me. Me being my desperate-for-friendship person I was let her back in. NEVER. AGAIN. Me and rachet were friends for more than half of the school year. THEN! OH-HO! RACHET DECIDED TO LEAVE ME FOR DICKHOPPER AGAIN!! Completely cut me off. Every. Single. One. Of. My friends. Left me. I LITERALLY HAVE NO ONE. THENNNNN!!! RACHET DECIDED TO TEXT ME OVER INSTA AND TELL ME SHE WAS COMPLETELY DONE WITH DICKHOPPER AND THAT SHE WANTED TO BE FRIENDS AND THAT SHE WAS SORRY FOR WHAT SHE DID TO ME!! I was not even about to believe that bullshit so I told her I would think about it. I decide to see if she really left Dickhopper. She didnt... THEY EVEN BECAME MORE FRIENDS THAN THEY ALREADY WERE!! This is were things start to take a turn for the worst. I have a crush, but he hates me. I have not idea why I tell myself everyday that he doesn't love me and to just get over it. But I can't get over him for some reason. He always talks to Rachet and it honestly feels like I'm being stabbed in the heart millions of times. At this point the only person I have that I can talk to is my sister. Tim and Darkness know who I'm talking about. I started to stop trying to make friends and the loneliness was absolutely killing me. But it was better than having fake ass friends. Now... heh. Only now does my life finally start to completely come down around me. I was having a very rough day at school. I had two panic attacks i wouldn't eat anything since this all began to happen, I've been self harming more, fuck, I even stopped talking. It was getting close to the end of the day when out of no where I just had the sudden urge to cry. To I quietly asked my teacher if I could use the bathroom. He said no, because there was 10 inured of school left. I hate crying in front of people, so my anxiety began to kick in. I had. A. Break down. In front. Of. The entire. Class. After that who disaster I just wanted to go home and sleep, which is what I did, but only for an hour.. I was awoken by my mom. She took me out into the living room and told me that her and my dad were getting a fucking divorce.. not only does that mean that I'm going to literally have to work harder to take care of the house, but sister isn't even gonna be my sister anymore. I literally broke down. I'm so hurt and confused and I just don't know how to feel amymore. I'm so fucking depressed. I'm having suicidal thought literally everyday. I have absolutely no one to talk to. I'm so fucking done with life. I can't do this anymore. I'm so fucking tired and hungry and In so much emotional pain that it physically hurts. It hurts so god damn much.