TWENTY NINE | Breathe
I was feeling depressed, because everything that Hoseok told me made sense.
I did notice that Taehyung got friendly literally OUT OF NOWHERE. IT TOOK HIM A FUCKING DAY to get friendly with me.
So odd.
It almost hurt to think of it that way because he started making me feel a different type of way.
I walked out of school, and saw a familiar person standing there. Seemingly waiting for me.
"Mr. Lee?"
I felt shivers run down my spine as I saw him. My perception on his had changed drastically.
"Yujin-ah...," he said in a sad voice and walked up to me.
I was standing at distance from him wary of his body language.
"What do you want from me, pervert?" I retorted and hugged my body with my arms.
"It's not how you think it is," he seemed pitiful.
I stayed silent, continuously diverting my vision to different places.
"Please," he reached his arm out to touch me and I stepped back out of instinct. "Don't think that way of me. It's not true."
"It seemed very true to me. I don't want to see you ever again," I said for last and walked away from him.
I heard him call me again but I started running faster. I had to get home. This was just too much.
The moment my house was visible, I saw a car parked in front of it. An unfamiliar car.
"Huh?" I questioned to myself as I got to it.
I got the answer to my question as I turned my head to the right and saw Uncle and his girlfriend, Lisa barbecuing in the garage.
"LISA!" I yelled in excitement and ran up to her. She was happy to see me as well as she gave me a warm smile.
She didn't approach to hug me. She was someone who knew about my touch anxiety.
"I'm so glad to see you, Jinnie!" she said in her high pitched voice. I couldn't help but grin widely the entire time.
I loved her so much. She was always so sweet to me, and treated me like her own daughter. That's why I wanted her to marry Uncle.
"Guess what, Yujin," Uncle said after flipping a steak.
I raised my eyebrows in wonder and expectation.
"Lisa will live with us now."
"ARE YOU FORREAL!!!!? YES FINALLY!" I yelled out loud and jumped on her and hugged her tightly which surprised her.
"Oh my god Yujin!" She was shocked.
I wasn't over it yet. I really wasn't over it.
It's all in my head, I kept repeating to myself every second of the day.
It really helped, but I knew I needed Taehyung. I needed him to get over it..
-----
The same night, I continued feeling sad.
I had to go out and take in some fresh air.
I stopped in front of his house and looked up, but his room's lighting was off.
Did he go to sleep early?
Impossible.
I head towards the park which was next to the library.
My phone buzzed in my pocket, and at the back of my head I felt like it was Taehyung. Or so I wished it was.
Park Jimin:
- hey! I got in contact with Minjung!
- you probably don't care anymore as its been a min since you two haven't talked.
- but I really wanted you to know that eitherway
You:
- im glad Jimin.
Park Jimin:
- I like her.
- I lied to you and Kim Taehyung.
- I liked her even then. He was right with what he said.
You:
- sometimes you have to admit to the things that guilt you just so things get better.
Park Jimin:
- ok are you going to admit what guilts you?
You:
- to you?
Park Jimin:
- to yourself.
You:
- hm. i don't know.
---
I reached the park and thoughts filled my brain again.
I sat on a bench, and felt myself crying as I was alone.
I looked around and I was really alone. Darkness had fallen over the park and every soul that was there earlier was now gone.
It was just me.
"Hm. I knew I felt your negative vibe from kilometers away."
It was just me, and Kim Taehyung now.
He came from behind me and joined me on the bench.
He stretched his arm out behind me.
"Why is being a high schooler such an emotional rollercoaster?" I asked.. not necessarily directing it to him, but myself too.
He chuckled after my question as if I was being silly.
Clearly feeling blue himself, he answered, "How can you learn if there isn't drama to make you realize what you need?"
I turned to him.
"Why are you always so wise? You seem so dumb and childish on the outside, yet every time I am feeling down, you have to lift me up by giving me wise thoughts?"
He met my eyes. A little small appearing on his lips. "If I can't follow my own advice, someone else has to follow it for me."
I stared into the nothing for a moment, thinking a bit more..
Then the thought of Hoseok telling me those things came back.
I stood up and faced Kim Taehyung. He looked up at me.
"Are you befriending me only to destroy me?" I asked him very very seriously.
He sat there dumbfounded for a second. "What?"
"Your friend, Hoseok, approached me today. He said something that sounded very true," I told. I started getting angry for some reason.
Taehyung stood up wide eyed.
I proceeded my question. "You only befriended me just so you can find a bigger way of torturing me right?"
A felt my lip quiver, and my eyes get teary from the thought.
"That's not true..," he responded and looked down. "I feel guilt. I don't think I even deserve to be friends with you."
At that point I wasn't sure what to believe.
"Prove me that you are telling the truth," I responded, my voice was just a bit shaky.
Kim Taehyung.... are you the prince? Or are you the monster?
He reached out for my face, and placed his hand on my cheek.
The tears that were flooding my eyes finally fell, and my body weakened at the touch.
He grabbed the other side of my face and leaned towards me.
"I will," he straight forwarded.
I grabbed his wrists hoping to push him away as he was too close.
Before I could react, he did something that made me question my self worth.
He...
kissed me.