The feeling of rejection settled in the pit of Hadassah's stomach as she listened to Lady Talbot's announcement; Daniel had been last seen getting into the carriage. She waited in vain for his return that evening and when he didn't return, she knew her feelings were correct, He had rejected her and the baby and for that, she was unwilling to lay eyes on the child as well. Wasn't it his fault, this child of the devil himself, that she was here, rejected by the man she loved?!
Several days went by without Daniel or the footman who drove the carriage. While Lady Talbot seemed nervous, Hadassah could tell she was trying to remain calm. Perhaps they had gone on a trip, Lady Talbot would reason as the days progressed. Perhaps the trip had been urgent. Lord Talbot however, didn't seem to care for his missing son. In his words, they had been no word of an accident in Birmingham and all of England, surely Daniel was fine and had simply lost his mind by abandoning his wife and new born child! Hadassah failed to listen to either of their reasonings, knowing Daniel was indeed fine but had chosen to leave her forever. She would never wake up to find him beside her! Tears sprang to her eyes and she didn't bother to wipe them away. It was her fault, it was all her fault.
The carriage returned, bringing with it a glimmer of hope that immediately destroyed the second the footman disembarked alone. She knew then, she would most likely never see Daniel again. Not bothering to ask what had happened to him, where he had decided to run off to, she turned from the front porch and made her way to her bed chamber where she gave in to her tears.
She was sitting alone in her bedchamber one evening when a soft knock sounded on the door. Thinking to ignore it, she focused her attention on the flickering fire.
“Hadassah?” The door creaked open but she didn't turn to acknowledge the intruder. “Hadassah.” The voice was soft, she thought, soft and filled with...
Turning around sharply, she wasn't surprised to find Lady Talbot standing by the doorway, tears streaming down her face. No, she wasn't surprised at all. She was especially not surprised when Lady Talbot informed her, amidst her tears, of the shipwreck, the same ship Daniel had been on. Hadassah hadn't even known he had decided to embark on a journey by ship. She knew he was desperate to get away from her, but she apparently did not know the extent of his desperation.
When Lady Talbot crossed the room and crumbled to a pile of grief on the sofa, Hadassah's eyes drifted to the lone figure by the entry way; Lord Talbot. His eyes glistened with unshed tears and the tenseness of his features told her he was trying and failing to maintain his composure.
“He's dead, Hadassah, they are all dead!” Lady Talbot wailed.
Hadassah looked beyond Lord Talbot as something behind him moved, gaining her attention. So, he wasn't alone. Of course not, there was Berta, Leah, and a handful of servants, hands clasped before them. Were they here to watch her break down? Was she supposed to cry? Would her tears bring Daniel back from the deep blue sea where his body had so graciously chosen to be buried? Ah, but he was so eager to be away from her, he even desired to have his body buried where she couldn't reach him. Would her tears make him love her?! Perhaps he was dead, but would it make him love her?! His soul maybe, maybe if his soul was capable of love, would it be willing to love her?
For the life of her, she couldn't cry. Lady Talbot's loud wails drifted to her, causing her eyes to shift to the woman who sat crying helplessly. She saw the grief so plainly expressed in his mother's eyes, his mother that loved him. Lady Talbot didn't just love him, she was worthy to love him. Hadassah on the other hand, wasn't worthy. Who was she -the woman who practically drove him to his grave- to love him?
Releasing a soft sigh, she rose to her feet. “Very well,” Clasping her hands before her, “I would like to be left alone now.”
Lady Talbot's eyes snapped up, confusion reflecting in the depths of her eyes. She sat gaping at Hadassah who stood waiting patiently for her to leave her bed chamber.
Lady Talbot, after a few minutes of utter silence, opened her mouth to speak when a voice stopped her. “She's right, Josephine, it's best for everyone if we get some sleep.”
Something flickered in Lady Talbot's eyes, a mixture of anger, disdain and grief. With a curt nod, she rose to her feet and made her way out of the room. Hadassah heard the door closing and turned to the bed. Settling on her own side of the bed, while avoiding Daniel's, she watched the flames, slowly but surely, consume the wood until the last wood was consumed and she was left in complete and utter darkness.
✴✴✴
“Perhaps she never loved our son.” Josephine tightened her hold on the baby who slept in her arms, her knees helping to support his small frame as she sat in the carriage that morning. She stole a glance at the beautiful boy, a small frown tugging at the edges of her brows. Not only would the child never know his father, he would never have the love of his mother. Hadassah was even cruel enough to refuse to bestow a name upon the child!
Angry tears stung her eyes at the thought of Hadassah. Not a single tear! Hadassah couldn't find it within herself to shed a single tear as the empty coffin in honor of Daniel was buried in the ground.
“Jason.” She smoothened the soft curls of the baby's hair.
“What?” Her husband called from his position beside her. He wasn't an emotional man, but she had listened to him cry many nights beside her and had seen him shed a few tears at the chapel. Even he was willing to mourn his son!
“Jason. I have chosen a name for the baby, a month is more than enough time to settle on a name.”
“It is not your place to name him, Josephine.”
“She refuses to even hold him in her arms! The wench is nothing but a cold hearted...”
Sighing softly, he placed a hand on her wrist to halt her flow of words. “She's grieving.”
“I haven't seen a tear so much a stray down her face. She feels nothing for Daniel, she must have wanted nothing to do with him. Perhaps she knew of her own father's dwindling wealth and was desperate for a husband of noble birth to be wed to her before she lost face in the eyes of the society! Perhaps she's nothing but a conniving, lying, fortune digger!” Lady Talbot knew she despised Hadassah and would have her out of the Talbot estate in a heartbeat.
When her husband failed to respond, she returned her attention to the baby who sleep peacefully in her arms, oblivious to the misery that awaited him especially with a mother like Hadassah.
“Jason.” A small smile settled on her lips. “Jason Daniel Talbot, an heir to the Talbot fortune; a fortune your mother will be sure to have no part of.”
✴✴✴
Helena suffered many nights from the images of the shipwreck. Daniel would wake up to the screams of the little girl and would try to comfort her. His plan had been to journey back to Birmingham in less than a week after the shipwreck, but the child was unyielding. He had taken her to the seaport and she had created a scene, refusing to board the ship with him. Her screams, cries and tantrums must have drawn a great crowd, he thought, even if he couldn't see.
Left with no choice, he was forced to return to the boarding house and hope she would overcome her phobia for sailing. She didn't.
“Helena,” He whispered softly, pulling her into his embrace. “But it's only a nightmare, angel.”
She cried then, her tears soaking through the fabric of his night shirt. He rocked her back and forth, as he had been accustomed to doing given the fact that it had been two weeks of waking up to her nightmares. She clung to his shoulder, wimpering after a while.
“What do you dream of?” He asked for the first time since her nightmares began and immediately regretted not asking earlier. Perhaps if she spoke of it, the fears would melt away. He had simply assumed it was about the shipwreck, perhaps he had been wrong.
“Mama, dying.” Her voice trembled and he tightened his hold on her. “Fire, the ship was on fire. Mama was on fire and I was on water. I could have saved her, but I was afraid.”
She blamed herself then, he sighed. It wasn't just the traumatic experience, it was the burden of guilt she bore on her little shoulders.
“Your shoulders are small, yet you insist on placing such heavy a load on it.” He kissed her cheek and suddenly remembered Hadassah. Perhaps if she was here, she would know what to do to rid the child of her fears and guilt, she had afterall helped him to get rid of his fear of dancing. He grinned at the thought of it. So many invitations to balls turned down because he was terrified of dancing and making a fool of himself in public. “Dancing!” He scoffed, laughter soon proceeding from his lips. It was silly now that he let himself dwell on it, it was silly to have thought that anyone would require him to dance especially considering his blind state. Ah, but they would have simply left him to cling to the walls of the ball rooms, rather than risk him ruining the shoes and feet.
“What is funny?” He thought he heard a frown in Helena's voice. She was eight, according to her, yet, her voice seemed well capable of conveying her emotions.
“Well, a lot, angel, a lot. For one, did you know I was terrified of dancing?”
Silence. Assuming Helena shook her head -because the child seemed to forget a lot, his inability to see- he continued.
“I was. I was so afraid of dancing and making a fool of myself.”
“Are you still afraid?”
“No,” He shook his head, chuckling softly. “It lies more in that fact that I realize now that nobody will ever require me to dance, and also in the fact that my wife taught me to dance.”
After a small pause, “will you teach me to dance?”
Daniel smiled to himself. No, he would never in a million years have imagined anyone asking him that question. Nodding, “of course, angel,” Gently placing her on the bed, crawled out of bed and settled on his feet. Bowing to the waist, “may I have this dance, beautiful princess?!”
She must have nodded, for he heard her scrambling to stand beside him. Grinning, he held out his hand to her and waited until she took it. “Stand on my feet.” Her cold feet touched his equally bare feet. Leaning down slightly, he wrapped one arm around her little waist and held on to her other hand.
She giggled as they danced. When he lifted her off the floor and spinned her around, her loud sqeals filled the silent boarding house. Daniel knew it was most likely the early hours of the morning and the guests were still asleep. Yet, he didn't care, the sound of the squealing child in his arms filling him with unspeakable joy. After a while, he stopped spinning her but kept her in the confines of his arms. When the sounds she produced began to subside, he knew she was falling asleep.
“Goodnight, angel.” He murmured softly against her ear.
“Pa.” He froze, the innocence and beauty embedded in that singular word, causing shiver to race down his spine.
“What was that, angel?” He whispered. But she didn't respond, she had fallen asleep.
Finding the wooden chair in the room, he settled on it and placed her on his lap. Wrapping his arm protectively around her, he leaned against the chair and dreamt. In his dream was Hadassah, standing before him with skin that has been kissed by the sun, beautiful brown eyes filled with innocence and hair... Oh, the perfect lush of that brunette hair. She held in her arms his baby...
It was his baby! There was no question about that! This was his baby, he thought, the realization settling in the depths of his stomach.
His eyes snapped open in that second and he glanced around, his vision still clouded by darkness. Something stirred in his arms, reminding him of the child that slept, reminding him of his journey to Italy and his reason for it. Helena especially made it very clear the purpose for which he had remained in Italy all of these days; fate was keeping him here for one purpose and one purpose alone; Julius.
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