Your chest tightened when you heard the slash. You opened your eyes, and you couldn't breathe. Standing before you was what was left of Mark's zombie body, laying on the ground in pieces.
"What the hell, y/n?" JB growled, sheathing his weapon. "Do you have a death wish or something? That zombie was about to eat your face off."
Your heart pounded in your chest. That had been the point, but now you were second guessing yourself. What had come over you? You had never let things get to you so deeply before. "I..." You couldn't answer. What were you supposed to tell Jaebum? That you were trying to relieve yourself of the guilt you had been carrying for almost a whole year now by letting your used-to-be-boyfriend take his zombie revenge on you. "I..." Nothing. You could say nothing at all.
"What has gotten into you?" JB looked at you with his cold eyes, but you couldn't look back at him.
You were ashamed of everything you had become. You were supposed to be strong and independent, but in your moment of weakness, you almost gave into the shadows lurking in your past. It was a coward's way. Tears poured down your eyes as feelings of remorse, shame, humility, and loss overwhelmed you.
JB cocked his head to the side. "Are you okay?"
You shook your head. You thought you had been okay. When you first approached Mark, you had only planned to talk to him, to express everything you had let stew inside of you. You hadn't planned to let him try to kill you. It just sort of happened in a moment of weakness, but now that moment was gone, leaving you feeling empty.
"I used to date him, until he turned into a zombie of course." For a moment you weren't sure if you had said that out loud or not, but when JB's eyes widened, you knew he heard everything you had said. "I don't know what came over me." You finally looked up at JB, and you could just feel his sympathy, but the last thing you wanted was for him to feel sorry for you.
"I'm so sor-"
"Don't say that," you interrupted. You were pretty sure those words would completely shatter you. "I'm fine. I'll be fine."
JB's shoulders fell. "You have to stop pretending that, because even if you can manage to look okay on the outside, you won't be able to feel okay until you've released what you're feeling on the inside."
You looked down at Mark now, and your heart ached. At least he was out of his misery now, and no one would blame JB for saving your life. They would blame you, though. You couldn't stay here. You knew that now. Here you would be trapped in your guilt and in the stares of those you felt sorry for you. Here you would end up trapped in your own mind, because you wouldn't be able to release what you really felt inside, knowing that everyone expected you to stay strong. "You're right."
"Look, why don't I go get Jackson, and then we can-"
"No," you interrupted again. "I need to go. I can't stay here any longer." You started walking away, but JB grabbed your arm, stopping you.
"You're upset, and it's the middle of the night. Leaving now is the last thing you should do." JB stared deep into your eyes, trying to make you listen to him, but it was too late.
"Do what you need to do, and I'll do what I need to, but don't try to tell me what I should or should not be doing." You yanked yourself away from JB's grip. He didn't know you, and he definitely didn't know what would be best for you. You stormed off, not looking back at JB.
Jackson jolted awake, screaming as he felt a hand on his arm. He swung the dagger he kept by his side while he was sleeping, but the hand stopped him.
"Calm down, dude. It's just me!" When Jackson's eyes focused, he realized that it was JB who had touched him.
Jackson's heart was pounding. "What the hell? Man, you scared me! Why would you wake me up like this? I almost stabbed you." Jackson took a deep breath to calm himself down.
"It's y/n." JB's voice was solemn, telling Jackson it was serious.
Jackson's heart stopped beating. Every terrible situation ran through his mind. "What happened?" He stood up and quickly put his shoes on.
"She's on the run." JB stood to the side, giving Jackson plenty of space.
Jackson snapped his head towards JB. "In the middle of the night? What the hell is she thinking?" Jackson couldn't breathe again. He thought you were handling things well, at least as well as someone could handle your situation, but then he realized that it was clear that you wouldn't. He smacked his face. "Stupid. You're so stupid, Jackson. The M&Ms made it obvious."
"What are you going on about?"
"Nothing. We need to find y/n before something happens." There was no time to explain the M&Ms to JB, but it should've been obvious to Jackson. When you gave him the candy, he should've realized then that you were planning something. There was no way you'd give the candy up otherwise. "Show me where you last saw her."
"This way." JB brought Jackson to Mark's completely lifeless body.
"Damn, I didn't realize she would..." Jackson looked at Mark. He guessed it needed to be done, but you of all people shouldn't have been the one to do it.
"She didn't. She released him from his ropes and was just standing there, about to let him eat her brains. That's when I came in and killed him," JB corrected. "I didn't know who he was then."
Jackson shook his head. "I should've realized that she was not okay, and that she shouldn't have been left alone."
JB put a hand on Jackson's shoulder. "Some people are just really good at hiding their feelings. It's not your fault."
"Which way did she go?" Jackson asked. He would worry about the details later. He needed to find you now.
JB pointed in the direction. "That way."
"I'm going to try to find her. You get the others. Maybe they can help." Jackson didn't even wait for confirmation before he ran off to go find you.
He dashed through the forest, keeping his eyes peeled for any figure in the dark. It was extremely hard to see anything with the trees dimming out the sliver of moonlight streaming down, but he couldn't give up on you. Tree branches hit his face with how fast he was running, but he couldn't stop. You already had a head start, and he had no idea if you were running or walking or even going in the same direction still.
"Y/n!" Jackson shouted desperately. He hoped you would hear him and stop trying to escape. "Y/n!" Jackson's voice cracked. He tried to stay calm, but he was afraid to lose you. It didn't make any sense. He had barely known you for two weeks, yet he already felt so attached to you. He hadn't thought feelings would develop so quickly, especially for someone who was cold at first and treated him like crap. It didn't make any sense, but here he was, searching for you in the middle of the night in a zombie infested forest, terrified of never seeing you again.
"Y/n!" Jackson shouted again, as loudly as he could. He heard a noise and turned around with a hopeful heart. The feeling spun away when it was just a zombie.
He removed his sword and quickly rid the undead body of its head. It was quick enough, but when Jackson heard another noise, he realized he had been stupid. He saw at least three more zombies, and he was sure more were on their way. Never make noise in the middle of the night. That was the worst thing you could do, and Jackson had learned that lesson long ago. He had just forgotten in his frenzy to find you.
He took a deep breath and started slashing zombies one after another. He tried to move forward, but zombies kept appearing from the dark. It was impossible to gauge how many were there, because the shadows hid their bodies from Jackson's sight. One after another he took zombies down, but they wouldn't stop coming.
"You're such an idiot!"
Jackson turned and half smiled. You were now behind him, helping him slash zombies, and he was so relieved to see you that he almost forgot that he needed to continue killing zombies. "Whoa!" he said, barely managing to jump out of the grasp of a zombie. He quickly retaliated, sending another head to the ground.
"Will you be careful?" you snapped.
"Sorry! I just got distracted. I wasn't expecting you to just show up like a hero all of the sudden." Jackson slashed another zombie, thankful he had your help now.
"When I heard you calling my name like an idiot, I knew I would have to come save you like a damsel in distress." You spun around, killing zombie after zombie, and if Jackson didn't know any better, he would've thought you were perfectly fine.
"I'm glad you could be my hero, then." Jackson smiled to himself but was careful to not get too distracted this time.
"You're getting mushy again."
Jackson could tell you were annoyed with him, but it made him happy. "You should expect this from me now."
He could practically feel your eyes rolling. "Crap, how many zombies are there?" you muttered.
Jackson wished he could answer you, but they just kept coming. "I don't know, but I don't think we're going to beat them all."
"I was thinking the same thing. We need to get out of here." Slash. Another zombie went down.
"Where can we go? We're surrounded." Jackson was starting to panic. This was his fault. If he hadn't been such a loud mouth, maybe they would both be in a safe area.
"Up." You said it so simply, and it made sense.
Jackson looked up into the tree. "Come here, and I'll give you a boost." Suddenly Jackson smiled.
You moved over to him and placed your foot on his hands. "What are you smiling about?"
"Nothing. This just reminds me of our first meeting." Jackson felt silly for thinking about that, especially when he doubted you cared at all. He hoisted you up into the tree and towards safety.
"Well, you better not be expecting sex this time, because there's no way I'm doing it in a tree." You reached down for Jackson's hand and helped him get up. Together the two of you made it higher and safely out of the zombies' reach.
"Why would I be expecting sex?" Jackson asked.
You shrugged, trying to catch your breath. "You're a guy."
It grew silent between you two after you both situated yourself. Jackson looked down at all the zombies gathering around the tree, and he knew the two of you would be there for a while. There was no place for you to hide here. He took a deep breath, worried that you would shut him out if he pursued this topic, but after hearing what had happened from JB, there was no way he could let it go.
"Why were you about to let Mark kill you?" Jackson asked, deciding to go for the blunt route.
"Crap," you muttered, looking down.
JB moved around the makeshift camp, looking for someone he recognized. He went to the first little tent he could find and froze outside of it. What was that noise? JB's jaw dropped a little. That was definitely moaning he heard.
"Oh my goodness! Right there!" a woman cried out.
JB looked around, feeling extremely uncomfortable. He wasn't sure what to do. He needed help, but he didn't know if he should interrupt these two. While trying to decide, he ended up standing awkwardly outside of the couple's tent.
"Faster, Yuggy!"
"I'm going as fast as I can Kaira."
"I told you to call me noona!"
JB decided to just find someone else, but he wasn't sure who all had survived the attack on the camp in the morning.
"Y/n, just talk to me," Jackson begged after a moment of silence.
You debated about jumping into the zombies and taking your chances with them instead of Jackson, but you knew it wasn't worth the risk. "Jackson." You squeezed your eyes shut, wishing you could pretend like none of this happened.
He reached over and grabbed your hand. "I'm not here to judge you. You don't have to pretend to be strong for me."
You knew that was true, but that was going against everything you had trained yourself to do. "I didn't plan to. I mean..." You took a deep breath to calm your nerves, but it didn't really work. "It just kind of happened." You looked up into the sky, forcing your tears to stop before they even started.
Jackson pulled you into his chest and started stroking your hair. "It's okay. I understand. It'll all be okay."
His words seemed to be a release, and suddenly all of the emotions you had been pulling back poured out like ashy lava. "I just felt so guilty." Your sobs bubbled in your throat. "I felt like I didn't deserve to continue on when I had just run away, leaving him for dead."
"It wasn't your fault." Jackson held you even tighter, afraid to let you go. He didn't know what to say exactly, but that was okay, because more than anything, you just needed to let it out.
"And then I ran again, because I didn't know what else to do. I was afraid that people would see me as weak and pathetic. I was just so afraid, so I ran." You held Jackson tightly, and you felt bad because you knew you were soaking his shirt with tears and snot, but you couldn't stop. The cork had been released, and now everything was pouring out. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for everything I've done." You were saying sorry to Jackson for running away, instead of letting him help you, but you were also saying sorry for everything, starting with the night you lost Mark.
"Shh," Jackson cooed, stroking your hair and rubbing your back. "It's not your fault. None of this is your fault. What's done is done, and all you can do is move forward."
And just like that, the guilt floated away. There was no more blame needed for everything that had happened. Jackson was right. You needed to let go of your past and move forward. Your sobs quieted with these thoughts, and even though your tears still poured from your eyes, you felt like you were going to be okay for the first time in a long time.
"Jackson, you're my hero."