Hello everyone,
Sorry for the late update, I have had a hell of a week. I was supposed to be on vacation from Friday to Monday, but my flight got canceled and my girls trip ended up taking a turn. Needless to say, it turned into a long adventure to get to our final destination and we were forced to extend our trip by an extra day. I was due home early yesterday, and after THREE flight delays, I didn't get home until after midnight.
Anyways, enough with my excuses here is chapter 13.
I hope you all enjoy.
xoxoxoxo
~Raegan~
The short time Tweaker and the rest of the guys were gone felt like days. Being in the clubhouse without a familiar face next to me was more than I could take right now. My best friend was missing, pregnant, and held captive by an absolute fucking maniac. Not to mention, I had been forced to expose my nephew to all this shit, with little explanation as to what we were doing here. I myself had no clue why Tweaker had insisted so firmly that Jamie and I go with him to lockdown. It seemed a little overprotective to me, especially since we hardly set foot in public together, but I wasn't about to risk my life, or the life of my nephew just to avoid the awkwardness of my given situation.
Loraine was a mess and drank herself to sleep almost immediately after the guys had all left. She had been going through a really rough time after hearing all of this—probably because it brought back so many bad memories from when she got shot and almost died. Ace had tried to be there for her, but once he left with the other guys, I only spoke to her for a few minutes before she downed half a bottle of Tito's and then passed out on the bar a little while later. The woman named Joanie who had been teasing me about Tweaker earlier helped me carry Loraine to an empty bed and insisted I go back and sit with the rest of the women once we'd tucked her in.
I wanted so desperately to decline, but I really had no other place to go. Jamie was sleeping in the room that Tawny had set us up in and there was no way I could stay in there without waking him up. I already felt like I was going crazy being locked into the clubhouse, and this place was fucking massive, I could only imagine the state I'd be in if I tried to lock myself in that tiny dorm room because I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep until I heard that Ronnie was okay. And so, when Joanie led me back to the table, I just couldn't say no.
The seats had emptied since the last time I'd been sitting here, and only Tawny and her daughter were left. After hearing the news about Ronnie, everyone's moods shifted, and rightfully so. Nora had disappeared after hearing Knox's revelation, the older woman who was at Tawny's side had retired to bed, and the crowd of Hellcats had thinned out too.
I still couldn't believe that Ronnie was pregnant, and of all else, that she didn't tell me about it.
Admittedly, I had been pretty caught up in my own world lately. Between work, Jamie, and Tweaker, I was beginning to wear myself a little thin. But even still, I saw and spoke to Ronnie quite frequently and she never even mentioned that she thought she might be pregnant at all.
I couldn't help but wonder if any of the Old Ladies knew about this. Ronnie was close with most of them, and given that they were all women in relationships with Tribe men, they had to be better equipt to give her advice than I could ever be. But then again, they all seemed too shocked that Ronnie and Knox even spoke to each other outside of Black's and the clubhouse to make that a possibility—espeically Tawny.
She was still sitting in the same spot as earlier tonight, nursing a full drink that looked like it had been sitting for a while. Unlike earlier, her expression had shifted and her face had grown grim. She was worried. She just sat there, staring up into space as if she was contemplating everything that could go wrong. It made me uneasy to see the notorious Tawny McPherson; the matriarch and queen of the Hell's Tribe MC looking so distraught.
This had to be bad—worse than Tweaker made it seem.
I was beginning to realize that I very well could be losing my best friend tonight.
"We put Rain to bed," Joanie announced, as she plopped down in the empty seat next to Tawny, while I took the seat next to her.
Tawny's eyes flickered as if Joanie's voice had awoken her from her thoughts, and she peered over at us almost proudly.
"Good," she complimented. "She needs to rest," she said, before downing the full glass of what looked like some kind of whiskey. Her voice was weak—nothing like the stern woman who I met earlier tonight, but I guess hearing your adoptive daughter was pregnant, kidnapped and being held as leverage did that to you.
"Easy mom," the younger girl across from her warned.
She too had lost the glint in her eye and amused smile she had while she was making jokes about me and Tweaker.
"Don't tell me what to do, Carter," Tawny chided. "I'm the mom!" she yelled, hitting her glass down so hard on the table that I jumped. Some of the remaining amber liquid soaked the table, but no one made a move to clean it.
Carter held up her hands and looked on the verge of tears.
"Hey," Joanie interjected. "Why don't we all try and get some rest?" she suggested. "It'll probably be a while before we hear anything and we might need to help them when they get back."
Tawny nodded in agreement, using the table as leverage as she got to her feet. "Probably best," she mumbled.
"Want me to come with you?" Carter asked her mom while she began stumbling her way back to the bedrooms.
Tawny shook her head. "I'm going to bed. Call me if you hear anything."
Joanie and I both nodded, while Carter looked completely defeated.
Once Tawny had rounded the corner of the hallway and was out of earshot, Joanie placed a reassuring hand on Carter's and squeezed it gently.
"It's not you. She's just upset and scared right now," Joanie assured.
Carter nodded and sucked back her tears. "I know, but I'm scared too and I need my mom. My dad hasn't told me shit and she's been too busy trying to deal with everyone else. I'm fucking terrified Joanie. What if Rigs hurt her?" she asked. "Ronnie is like a big sister to me. I can't lose her."
At the thought, my stomach twisted. The absolute last thing I wanted to think about was my best friend being in pain, but it was an unfortunate reality right now, and no one knew the state she'd be in when and if they found her.
"She's tough," I interjected, making both women face me. "She's been through rough shit before and found her way out of it. I have to believe that this is no different. Until we hear back from the guys, we have to assume that Ronnie is okay. If she's not, we worry about that later, but right now, all we can do is wait and pray for the fucking best."
I had no idea where that assuring speech came from because I sure as fuck did not feel as confident in my words as I made it seem. I just couldn't stand to see this girl—probably no older than sixteen looking so devastated and terrified about what was going on tonight. No kid should ever have to hear about this shit and it was fucked up that she was exposed to all of this, but I guess as a Tribe kid, she really had no choice.
Carter nodded and looked the slightest bit calmer. Joanie, on the other hand, lit up with a smile.
"I get it now," she mused.
My eyebrows narrowed. "Get what?" I asked.
She shrugged. "Why Tweaker is gonna make you his old lady."
I let out a laugh because the idea was literally hilarious. Tweaker had warned me from the start that he was not that guy and I was perfectly okay with that. I wasn't looking to be an old lady or to make things with Tweaker any more serious than they already were. As far as I was concerned, this had already gone too far and I was already in too deep. I realized after spending the last day here that me and Tweaker were headed for destination unknown. We had both been so adamant that this thing between us was just some no strings attached fun but it had gone far beyond that now.
"I'm not gonna be Tweaker's old lady," I confirmed.
Joanie shook her head and let out a laugh. "Seems like your headed that way to me."
"Me too," Carter added, all of the sudden back to her annoying teenage self.
I groaned, hating that this was the topic of conversation right now, but I had no escape route out of this line of questing without assuring them this was not the case.
"Tweaker and I are just friends—if that. We just hang out sometimes and have sex, we hardly even talk." I defended.
Joanie nodded. "Yeah, that sounds pretty close to how me and Ricky started. Six years and two kids later, here we are," she teased.
I shook my head. "It's not happening," I assured. "I just got out of a four-year relationship. I'm not looking for anything serious."
The idea of settling down so soon after I had finally become single was terrifying at best. I wanted out of a relationship, not into a new one.
"Oh yeah," Carter nodded. "You were dating the hot cop, right?"
I rolled my eyes. "He's a firefighter," I corrected.
I really didn't understand how everyone knew about my relationship, or how they confused Josh as a cop.
Downfalls of living in a small town.
"Yes!" Joanie announced in realization. "John Fields, right? I went to high school with him, he was a fucking bore."
I nodded, not even bothering to correct her because he really didn't matter much in this conversation.
"Exactly," I said. "Tweaker is just a distraction—a way to pass the time."
Carter bit her lip. "It didn't look that way when you guys were making out in front of practically the entire clubhouse."
Joanie nodded in agreement. "You don't claim a woman like that in front of your brothers unless you plan on making her yours."
Making her yours? What kind of backward shit were these people into? It was a kiss for fuck sake! I was feeling grateful that he was helping bring my best friend back and I got caught up in an emotional moment. It wasn't like I proclaimed my love and tattoed my name on his forehead.
I wanted to voice my concern for the way they were interpreting all of this, but the sounds of loud cursing and yelling broke us all out of our thoughts. A crowd of the guys came in, dragging a bleeding man along with them. I gasped at the sight of his bloody hand as they dragged him across the clubhouse and out the back doors.
Nora had suddenly appeared from outside, her cheeks red from the cold, but otherwise her face was a flat white as she looked at her husband. Rigs didn't even look up—not that he even could in his state, but I could visibly see the tension in Nora's body at his close proximity. As the guys hauled him further into the night air, Nora disappeared again out the front.
"They're back," Carter announced. "I'm gonna go wake mom," she said, before running off towards the bedrooms.
Tweaker walked in a few moments later, and I could see his eyes searching the place, presumably for me. I sprang to my feet in an instant and I was already just steps away from him before he even noticed I was in the room.
"How is she?" I asked instantly.
Tweaker lit up with a relieved smile and placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder. "She's okay. A little banged up so they took her to the hospital to check her out, but it didn't look too serious."
I let out a breath, feeling for the first time all day that everything might just turn out okay.
"Thank god!" I cheered, not being able to help it when I threw myself into Tweaker's arms. He lifted me off of my feet and planted a soft kiss on my shoulder as a happy tear streamed down my face.
When he finally placed me back on my feet, I couldn't help but wrap my arms around him in a tight hug once again.
"Thank you," I said, looking up at him with more relief than I thought possible. "I don't know what I'd do without her," I admitted.
Tweaker nodded, running his hands up and down my back reassuringly. "It wasn't just me, but you're welcome."
"When can I see her?" I asked instantly. If my best friend was okay, she was due for a major ass kicking for not telling me about being pregnant.
Tweaker shrugged. "Knox wants to take her home if everything checks out okay. She needs to rest for a while so maybe tomorrow."
I nodded, happy that at the very least, it seemed like they weren't too concerned.
Mick wasn't here, which was a bit of a red flag, but maybe Ronnie had just asked him to come along? After all, the last we'd all heard things with her and Knox were on the outs and she might not have been very happy with him even after all of this. Then again, maybe things were worse than they were making it seem and they were just trying to wait for the worst to pass before they broke the news to everybody.
The thought ignited a panic in me and Tweaker seemed to read my mind.
"As far as we know, she's fine," he added. "She was walking, talking and didn't even wanna go to the hospital in the first place. Try not to worry too much, Toots. We got her back and she's safe now."
I nodded, but I wouldn't stop worrying fully until I saw and spoke to her.
"That was the guy that took her?" I asked, changing the subject completely.
Tweaker scratched the back of his head and looked uncomfortable when he answered. "Yeah, that was him," he said, nodding back towards the side door that the rest of the guys had taken him out of.
"I hope you fucking kill him," I said, only half joking.
I had seen Son's of Anarchy, I knew what MC's did to people who hurt their family, and right now, I was hardly opposed to the idea.
Tweaker let out a laugh. "Easy, babe."
I shook my head. "He deserves it."
Tweaker nodded. "I agree, but this one is all Knox."
Oh shit, they were actually serious. I was sleeping with a real-life Jax Teller. This would definitely be ending badly.
_____________________________
I had managed to catch a few hours of sleep while Tweaker and the rest of the guys "contained the situation" until Knox was ready to deal with Rigs, but as soon as the sun came up, I could feel Jamie's touch nudging me awake.
"Auntie, Rae," he whisper-yelled into my ear. "I'm hungry."
My eyes flickered open for only a second, but it was enough to see his little face practically begging for food.
I groaned, closing my eyes again. "Ten more minutes," I pleaded.
Jamie continued nudging. "Wake up!" he said, louder this time.
I let out a breath, but forced my eyes open and rubbed them clear of sleep. I could have probably gone for at least a couple more hours, but there was no chance given that I was on mom duty for the time being.
I sat up and tried to compose myself, despite my exhaustion, but I remained on the bed for at least a couple of minutes.
"I'm a growing boy, you know?" Jamie asked knowingly. "If I don't have a good breakfast than I can't grow to be big and strong. Remember?" he pressed, placing a tiny hand on his hip.
I let out a laugh since he was giving me the speech I fed him everytime he tried to be difficult about eating breakfast.
"You're the best kid ever, you know that?" I said as I ruffled his sandy blonde hair.
He smiled and shrugged. "I know. You tell me all the time."
I shook my head as I chuckled because this kid was too damn smart for his own good.
"Let's go see if this place has anything to eat," I said, standing to my feet and leading Jamie out into the main area.
I silently prayed there was no sign of bleeding men or torture devices when we got out there, and I was pleasantly surprised at the sight before me. All of the women, children, and some of the guys were gathered around, eating what looked like a large spread of breakfast foods. There was eggs, bacon, pancakes, and most importantly, coffee.
"Jamie!" One of the little girls with light brown hair called, waving him over to the kid's table. She looked just like Joanie and had been playing with Jamie up until he went to bed last night.
"Can I go play?" he asked, his face lighting up with a smile.
"What about breakfast?" I asked. The little shit woke me up and he would damn well be eating.
His smile turned into a frown, silently begging me to allow him to join the other kids at their mini-sized table and chairs.
I let out a breath and crossed my arms over my chest. "Fine," I relented. "I'll bring you some food over there but you better eat it all," I warned.
Jamie's smile returned and he ran off excitedly as he yelled: "I will!"
I let out a chuckle at my nephew's excitement as I placed myself in between two hellcats who were making plates of food. I didn't miss the way both stared at me with almost disapproval as I filled a plastic plate for Jamie. One of them, a busty red-head made a noise between a tisk and laugh and her little friend, Ali fucking Griffen joined in with a full-on chuckle. I let out a breath and looked between the two of them with a straight face.
"Problem ladies?" I questioned.
The red-head smirked, but only shook her head, while Ali decided to grow some balls.
"I wouldn't get too comfortable around here, honey," she said, placing a hand on her hip.
My eyes narrowed, and I actually laughed at how pathetic her attempt at intimidation was.
"And why's that?" I challenged.
Ali scoffed, tapping me on the shoulder as she raked her acrylic french tips against my skin. "Tweaker will get tired of playing daddy to someone else's kid soon enough, and I just don't wanna see you get hurt in the process. If I was you, I'd take the little brat and run as far away from here as I could get." Her tone was condescending, and so was her smirk, but her words had gotten to me, and the last thing I wanted to do was let her know that.
I faked a smile of my own and brushed her hand off my shoulder in one quick sweep. "Thanks for the advice, but I'll take my chances," I said, turning my back to both women and moving down the line of food to fill Jamie's plate.
My blood was boiling, and my free hand was balled into a fist, but I was keeping my calm.
Who the fuck was she to tell me what to do? She was the one who whored it up for literally any patched member in hopes that one of them would actually enjoy her for more than just a blowjob. This was because she had a thing for Tweaker and I was the one he chose to bring to lockdown. She was just being a jealous witch, but as much as I tried to deny it, she made a good point.
Tweaker enjoyed hanging around me and Jamie enough for now, but she was right when she said he would get tired of it eventually. I could already see his frustration when I canceled plans or needed to reschedule because of Jamie, and I doubted he would bother with me for much longer.
While I was contemplating if the amazing sex was worth riding it out until he got bored, or if I should just end things myself while I was ahead, I felt a pair of warm hands wrap around my waist from behind. When I turned my head to see who they belonged to, I wasn't surprised to see Tweaker standing behind me with a wide grin on his face.
"Hungry?" he asked, with an amused glint in his eyes as he nodded toward the hefty plate of food I had prepared for my five-year-old nephew. In all my anger, I hadn't even noticed how much food I had piled onto the plate. There were three pancakes, at least five slices of bacon, eggs, potatoes, fruit, and about half a loaf of toast.
I let out a laugh as I looked at the plate in surprise.
"Starving," I lied.
Tweaker leaned forward and planted a soft peck on my lips. "I like that you actually eat," he teased into my ear. "Especially since it seems to go to all the right places," he whispered, dragging one hand from around my waist lower down until he reached my ass. He took in a full squeeze and practically growled as he whispered into my ear. "I'm dying to be inside you right now."
At his words, I felt goosebumps prick my skin. It had been multiple days since we were last together, and we hardly ever went that long. But with all the craziness, sex was the last thing on either of our minds. Now that everything seemed to be okay, his sex drive seemed to be back up and running and he was in the market for a screwdezvous. I, on the other hand, felt an overwhelming amount of doubt set in on whether or not this arrangement between us was a good idea anymore.
"What the hell are we doing?" I blurted, feeling the need to put all these thoughts out on the table.
Tweaker's eyes narrowed. "What do you mean?" he questioned.
"Why did you bring me here?" I countered. "You knew that Rigs wouldn't come after me, and still, you forced me and Jamie to come here. Now everyone knows our business and seem to think that I'm going to be the next to join the old lady club."
His mouth fell open as my words caught him by complete surprise and he took a step back. "Wow," he mumbled.
I let out a breath. "I just don't understand. I thought we were on the same page about all of this, you know? We both agreed that whatever this is was nothing serious. Now you're bringing me to lockdowns and kissing me in front of everyone. What the fuck Tweaker?"
His face was empty of any expression and my words had left him completely speechless.
After a few moments, he shook his head and finally seemed to gather a coherent thought. "We should talk about this in private," he suggested, looking around at all the prying eyes that seemed to be listening in on this conversation.
I shook my head. "I—I gotta go give this to Jamie," I stuttered, trying anything to put some distance between us.
Being close to Tweaker in enclosed spaces clouded my judgment, and right now I needed to figure out my next move before this shit went any farther.
Tweaker let out a nervous breath. "I got it," he said, taking the plate out of my hand. "Meet me in the bedroom in five," he said, as more of a demand than a question.
I didn't even have to answer before he was taking off to the kid's table and I took it as my shot to run off before he dragged me into the bedroom.
____________________________
I had managed to avoid Tweaker for the better part of the day, by forcing myself in at the ladies table while they drank mimosas that tasted more like vodka with a splash of orange juice and talked shit about the Hellcats who were sitting across from us.
Tweaker had been sending me bat signals from across the room to get up and meet him, but I had the perfect cover from all of the women who were forcing me to stay with them since they were celebrating the good news about Ronnie. We'd heard back that she and the baby were both good when Mick had arrived earlier this morning, and everyone was in the mood to drink in honor of her.
While Tweaker was happy about the news too, he was not happy that I was avoiding him. He gave up after a while and retreated to hang with the guys for a bit, and even went out back for a bit too. When he came back inside, his fists were red and his shoulders were tense. I assumed this had something to do with Rigs being out back somewhere, but I was happier being oblivious to it all so I didn't even ask.
It was when I finally saw Tweaker coming over to the table for the fourth time today did I finally think it was time we both talked.
As Joanie saw Tweaker approaching she rolled her eyes and let out a groan. "Jesus, Tweaker!" she yelled. "Leave the poor girl alone. She doesn't want to have sex with you right now."
The whole table erupted in laughter and I felt myself growing red in embarrassment.
Tweaker's face was shocked for only a second before he rolled his eyes and let the comment fly over his head. He gave Joanie the finger but didn't even address her comment as he leaned down next to me.
I took a deep breath, knowing I couldn't keep coming up with excuses all night and figured now was as good a time as any to have this dreaded conversation.
"Hey," he mumbled, despite the prying eyes of all the women who filled the table.
"We should talk," I blurted, louder than I meant to.
Tweaker's eyes narrowed, as if in confusion at first, but then he nodded in agreement.
"Knox needs me to go keep an eye on Ronnie for a bit, but when I get back?" he questioned.
I nodded.
Tweaker placed a soft kiss on the top of my head and had disappeared out the front doors a few moments later.
I let out a breath, knowing what I had to do, but hating it all at the same time.