Strangely, the activity starts before we even have our cameras set up.
Aaron runs into nerve center, which is set up in a room with no activity linked to it. My friend looks scared, and explains in shaky breaths,"Shadow. Children's ward. Huge. Near drawing." Zak and I follow him so Jay can stay at nerve center and monitor us on the operating cameras.
We enter the sleeping room that used to house the satanic rituals, and I see what made the shadow Aaron saw: a huge demon, in the shape of a giant humanoid, standing in the corner. "Aaron, did you see it with your own eyes?" Zak asks, and I see Aaron nod through my camera. The demon's scarlet eyes glow with lust and hunger, and it moves to walk towards us.
I enter its mind, and command it not to take another step. It cocks its wolf-like head at me, its scarlet eyes glowing even brighter. It doesn't speak, but I know that it understands and fears me.
I turn back to the two guys, and explain what I'm seeing and doing. They look at me with awe and fear, and Zak instructs Aaron to set up the camera. While Aaron does that, Zak holds out an EVP recorder towards the demon.
"Why are you here?... What created you?... Who let you into this world?..." Zak asks. The demon doesn't respond, and simply gazes at Zak with longing, as if itching to tear into his flesh. In Flame Talk, the language of demons, I ask it the same questions. It looks over at me, and answers in a voice like a snake's,"Sophie summoned me. I am here until her spirit is appeased."
Fear strikes my stomach, and I ask it,"Appeased how?" The demon cocks its head more, until its eyes are parallel with the wall. "An apology must be made, Saira, Queen of the Dead. An apology to those who deserve it." And, with that cryptic message, the demon vanishes into black smoke.
I tell Zak what the demon had said, and he shakes his head in bewilderment. Aaron walks over to us, having heard the entire conversation, and says,"Glad we have Saira with us. Let's get back to nerve center. Let's see if Billy's seen anything."
We agree, and head back to nerve center. Fortunately-or unfortunately, depending on how you looked at it-Billy saw nor heard anything while setting up cameras on the other side of the building. We all regroup, grab equipment, and split off into pairs to explore different sections of the building.
Zak and I go into the male wing, where voices are captured and dark figures are seen regularly. We start by walking into the different rooms and doing EVP sessions. Nothing happens, though I notice that Zak seems to be slightly distracted. When I question him about this, he shakes off my inquiry and heads into another room.
After two hours of nothingness, we go back to nerve center. I keep my eyes open for Chase or Forest, but they, like the rest of the spirits, seem to be hiding. Fricken' cowards.
Zak sits next to Jay and watches the screens alongside him. I try to pay attention to what Aaron and Billy are doing in the female ward, but something keeps pulling my attention away. Finally, I give up and silently slip out of nerve center with my camera, following the feeling rising in my gut.
The feeling leads me to a room in the children's ward. I sit down against the wall, and film the room. I pull out my EVP recorder and set it on my outstretched leg, turn it on, and sit back. "What led me here?... What do you want with me?... Where are Forest and Chase?..." I get all three answers when the sound of kicked gravel reaches my ears, coming from my left.
I turn my head and camera, and see my old nemesis and friend standing there, side-by-side. Chase still looks devishly handsome, though his eyes look older. Forest looks just like the last time I spoke to him fully, at Miss Andromeda's Bar.
"What do you two want?" I ask. Chase scowls and says,"You wanted to know where we were, Saira. You wanted to know who led you here. Well, here we are." I roll my eyes, but don't stand. I focus on Forest, since he always seems nice to me.
"We want apologies for our deaths, Saira. Heartfelt apologies for killing us. That's what God has asked for," Forest says, stepping forward. "I'll apologize for your death. But not for his," I say, jerking my head at Chase. He growls and steps forward, but stops when Forest holds his arm out. "If you don't apologize for both of us, now, then you will be hurt even more by the Devil. Since you practically meant to kill Chase, his soul can be twisted into hating you. Even more so, apparently. Which is all the leverage Satan needs to harm you," my old friend explains in a calm tone.
I look over at Chase, and see it in his eyes that what Forest says is true. Chase hates me, and I him. But, without my apology for causing his death, he would become even more corrupt by hate.
I take a deep breath, and say,"Forest Truth, I apologize for killing you on August 8, 2014, by overdose." Forest's face looks serene for a moment, and he bows to me as he dissolves into golden light. I turn to Chase, and meet his eyes as I say,"Chase Boyce, I apologize for killing you on July 4, 2006, by shooting you at point-blank range in the head." Chase's face, like Forest's, looks serene for a moment, and he smiles at me as he too dissolves into golden light.
Silence permits the air after the two men are gone. I feel the last two pieces of red glass reform in my chest, melding with the other shards of glass I've reassembled. Now, with eight shards of glass glued back together, I have only nineteen shards lefts to go. Nineteen long and difficult stories that may take me years to unravel for good.
I get up after a while, and walk back to nerve center. The guys seem to not have noticed my absence, and a glance at the clock on the wall says that I've only been gone for five minutes. For all they knew, I had just gone to the bathroom, not apologizing to two people I killed long ago.
We wait for Aaron and Billy. When the two finally appear, they shake their heads to convey that they found absolutely nothing, just like Zak and I. Zak claps his hands together, and says,"Alright then. Isolation time. Aaron, you're in the males' ward. Billy, females'. Jay, you're in the children's. Saira, you're in the cremation rooms. I'll stay here and keep an eye on you guys. Yell if you need help."
All of us nod, then turn to go to our respective areas. I pretend not to notice Aaron give Zak a mischievous look as he leaves, though it's hard.
I get to the cremation rooms, which are two rooms that the dead were prepared and fired in. I can still smell the faint scent of ashes, though this part of the building hasn't been used for two and a half years.
I sit on one of the tables, and hold out my recorder. I close my eyes, and will my power to still. I ask questions, though playback tells me nothing. I walk around, pause, record, review, then walk around more. I feel no energy in this room, which I report to the camera stationed by the door, knowing that Zak is watching me.
Now, though, I lean against the wall, slightly dozing off. Suddenly, I hear a scrabbling sound, like footsteps on loose gravel; that wakes me up quick. I stand straight and hold my recorder out, willing the spirits out of hiding.
"Who made that sound?" I ask, and, to my surprise, a little girl spirit appears before me. Her eyes are a pale green, like mine, though they're mixed with gray around the pupils. She smiles at me, and I see perfect white teeth. I crouch down to get to her level, then smell the sulfuric smell of rotten meat and sulfur emanating from her. I see swirls of black in her blue-white form, and finally notice the glint of homicide in her eyes.
"Sophie," I guess, and she nods. "I am Sophie. You are Saira. Queen of the Dead. Spirit Wisher. Murderer. Thief. Beloved of Zachary Bagans. Friend of many. Controller of demons and spirits. Oh, yes, I've heard of you, Saira Collings," Sophie giggles, her voice a strange mixture of dream-like and old-womanly. I blink at her, and am about to ask a question when she abruptly says,"Your destiny cannot be changed, Saira. You can alter the details, yes, but you cannot change your fate. Tonight you will make a choice. The sun rises now. I must go. Make your choice wisely, Saira Collings."
Sophie abruptly fades into mist, and I feel even more confused. I hear Zak call over the radio for everyone to join him at nerve center.
I exit the cremation rooms, glad to be rid of the horrible smell of ash and sulfur. I walk into nerve center, and see Aaron, Billy, and Jay all standing in a line, facing me, cameras on me.
"What are you guys doing?" I ask. Aaron smiles, Jay smirks, and Billy laughs. I feel a tap on my shoulder, and turn around to see Zak. Then, to my utter astonishment, he kneels down on one knee, and holds up a small black box in his hand.
Zak flips the box open, and there sits a beautiful silver ring. The stone looks like a sapphire, though I don't get much chance to look at it, as I look into Zak's eyes when he speaks.
"Saira Collings, will you marry me?" Zak asks, looking me in the eyes. I faintly see Billy maneuvering around to the side to catch another angle, Jay circling around to the other to catch my face. I'm silent for a few seconds, then say,"I fucking hate you, Zak Bagans."
Zak rises with a smile, and asks,"Is that a yes?" I laugh, tears spilling down my cheeks even though I don't want them to, and say,"Yes, you idiot, that's a yes." Our friends cheer as I hug Zak, pressing my lips to his after a second. I wait as he slides the silver ring onto my finger, then hug him again.
"You all were in on this?" I ask, wiping away my tears of joy. The guys laugh and say,"From the beginning, Saira. We all knew Zak wanted to propose at the end of an episode." Aaron laughs again and says,"Hell, he even asked me to design a ring for you. Meredith had to get your ring size, of course, so-" "So that's what you were doing there the day we went shopping! You had to get the ring I tried on and bought for this," I interrupt. Aaron blushes and nods.
We all laugh more, then separate to grab the equipment and cameras. I stay next to Zak for a moment, hardly believing what just happened. Then, I kiss him again. He smiles down at me, and asks,"Well, how was that for an original proposal?" I laugh and say,"Very original, Zak. Very original." He laughs, and we move to go pick up all the cameras.
Sophie had said that I would make a choice this light. She said that I could alter details, but not change my fate. Maybe she was right. Maybe my fate couldn't be changed, just like a man can't change his stars.
But, just maybe, I can find my own star in this world in the form of Zak Bagans. My new fiancee. My closest friend.
My angel.