"Dad, you saw me lock the doors yourself," Monse says as she walks into her bedroom. Her dad was out for a long haul tonight, which meant he wouldn't be back until tomorrow morning. He always worries about her safety when he's gone. Especially now since her friendship with Cesar is currently nonexistent. Her dad always knew her friendship with him kept her safe. Without it, he's not sure what could happen.
"I know. You're right. Can you blame a dad for worrying?"
Monse smiles at that. Even though she can only see her dad through a phone screen right now, she still feels safer seeing him. "No you can't. I'll be okay dad. I'm going to shower and then go straight to bed. There's nothing for you to worry about."
That seemed to satisfy him because he dropped his insistent questions about safety and told her goodnight. After they hung up, Monse made her way over to her closet. She slipped off her shirt and started looking for a shirt to sleep in. She had a long day and all she wanted to do was wash it all away in the shower.
Her mind goes back to her fight earlier with Cesar. Well she fought, he just laid there. She never would have imagined she would have these emotions towards him. Betrayal. Hurt. Anger. She couldn't understand how he could do something like this. They've been best friends for years. Shouldn't that count for something.
A noise behind her caught her attention. She felt a light touch on her shoulder and every instinct in her body reacted. She reached for the baseball bat leaning against her wall next to the closet and turned to face the intruder. How did anyone get in anyways? She locked all the doors.
"Whoa Monse! It's me. It's Cesar!"
And it was. Her reactive instincts calmed down once she saw him. She didn't lower the bat though. "What are you doing here?"
He looks between her and the bat in her hand. She can see a sadness in his eyes as he spoke, "I never meant to hurt you."
She could feel her heart tighten at his words. "Why did you do it?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper, "You promised me you weren't going to tell anyone."
A single tear slips from her eye as she speaks. They shared one of the most intimate moments she could ever have with someone together, and he promised to keep it to himself. But he didn't. Why didn't he?
"I know I promised. I didn't mean to break the promise." He tries to take a step towards her, but she takes one back.
"It was your idea," she exclaims, pointing the bat at him, "You were the one that said we should keep this thing between us to ourselves. Then as soon as I'm gone you tell the entire block about it!"
Her anger is starting to rise in her the more she thinks about it. Anger because she doesn't want to be hurt by this, but she is.
Cesar sighs and sits down on the edge of her bed. His voice is shaky as he speaks, "I did it because of Oscar. He wanted to get at you when he got out. I couldn't let that happen, so I claimed you."
Wait, what? "Why would Oscar want to get with me?"
Cesar ran a hand through his hair as he spoke, "Because he saw the picture you sent me in your letter with you and some of the kids you met at camp. He said you grew up well and wanted a piece of that action. I couldn't stand the thought of him touching you, so I said that we smashed before you left so I could protect you from him."
Monse could tell he was nervous. He messes with his hair when he's nervous. He really did look sorry about what he did.
Sighing, she lowered the bat and came to sit next to him on the bed. She wasn't angry anymore. What he did, that's something the Cesar she knows would do.
She places a hand on top of one of his, "You don't have to protect me. You have to protect yourself. You have to leave."
"You don't get it," he replies pulling his hand from hers, "This is my life Monse. You have a future ahead of you. You're gonna be a famous writer. Ruby's going to go to college like his brother. Jamal is going to get his way out. I'm not. I'm tied here by blood. My future is here. There's no way out. It's all I have."
Monse didn't know what to say. She knew it wasn't true. He could have any future he wanted. He just needed a way out. And she was going to help him see that. He turned his face so he could look at her. She could see the pain in his eyes.
"You're wrong. It's not all you have," and with that she leaned in and kissed him. He immediately responded and kissed her back. It had been so long since they shared a moment like this. She placed a hand on his cheek as her other hand went to the bottom hem of his shirt to lift it off of him. She failed because that would mean breaking lip contact and that was not going to happen. He wrapped an arm around her to pull her closer and deepen the kiss.
She wanted to feel him. She needed to know that this thing between was something real.
His lips moved from mouth to leave kisses slowly down her neck. Monse sighed with pleasure in response. She tried to take his shirt off again, but this time he pushed his shirt back down.
"Cesar, take your shirt off."
He ignored her request and continued to leave a trail of kisses back up her neck, traveling back up to her lips.
She couldn't take this anymore. She needed her hands to feel his skin. She pulled away and used the moment of shock on Cesar to pull his shirt up. "Monse, no do-"
But it was too late.
Her eyes roamed his abdomen full of bruises. They were all over him. Some were lighter and other darker, but all of it looked painful.
She couldn't believe it. "You got jumped in."
Cesar closed his eyes in embarrassment. Of all the people to see his bruises, he definitely didn't want it be her. He didn't want her to look at him differently. And not tonight. Not tonight when things took an unexpected turn.
He had been wanting to kiss her since the moment she stepped out in front of his brother's car. He knew she would find out about what he said eventually. Jamal was never one to keep a secret. He just wanted to be able to explain himself to her. Which is why he came over tonight. He knew he wouldn't stand a chance talking to her during the day. Jamal and Ruby wouldn't leave her alone with him.
So he used the spare key she had given him before she left to come in. His plan was to explain, apologize and leave. Never did he expect to be kissing her. Or having the need to take his clothes off.
"Monse, please don't start a fight about this. I just want to be with you right now and pretend this," he gestures down to his abdomen, "never happened." He could see her internal fight on whether or not to let it go.
She wanted to fight about this. She wanted to tell him how stupid he was for allowing this to happen. She wanted him to know how scared she was for him. She wanted to scream and yell and cry. But she couldn't. She could see his fear and his sadness when she looked at him. She couldn't bear it if she added more pain to him.
So instead, she did what he pleaded her to do, and dropped it. She didn't want to fight with him either right now. She had been so angry with him since she got back. She didn't want to be angry with him anymore.
She lightly touched one of the darker bruises, "Does it hurt still?"
She could feel him searching her, wondering if she really did just decide to drop it. "A little. Not nearly as much as it did before. It's been a couple weeks since it happened though."
Monse winced at the time span. She was still at camp when it happened. She wondered if it would have happened if she was here.
Cesar grabs her hand and holds in his. He plays with her fingers and is looking down when he speaks, "You know, I missed you. A lot. I was so happy to see you when you got back. Even though I knew you would hate me."
Her heart tugged at his words, "I don't hate you."
He looks up at her then, eyes full of hope, "Really? Because I would hate me."
And she feels the truth in his words. He really does hate what he did. She could feel him slipping away from her. She could feel his brother's grip on him tightening, and she didn't like it. She couldn't let that happen.
"Yes really. I could never hate you," she says, "and I missed you too."
Cesar's entire body relaxed at her words. This was probably the first time since before summer that he looked like her Cesar.
She couldn't resist him. She wanted to pretend that these past few days didn't happen either. She just wanted to be with him.
She leaned forward and closed the gap between them again. Kissing him was like knowing herself again. He wrapped his arms around her waist and laid her back on the bed, him hovering above her.
Her hands go to lift his shirt and take it off of him finally. She's careful not to touch the bruises.
"Are you sure Monse? I don't want to do this if you aren't ready."
Was she ready? Did she trust him again?
Yes, she trusted him. She would always trust him.
"Just shut up and kiss me."
He let out a soft chuckle, "God I love it when you're bossy."
Monse knew that she needed to get him out. She didn't know how she was going to do it, but she knew that she would. It was going to take a lot more than a stupid gang to take Cesar away from her.