You know what’s the only thing more awkward than sitting and waiting for your dinner in a very tense atmosphere between your ex-friend and your possible-crush while realizing that you’re dressed much more formally than anyone within a four-block vicinity?
Nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
This day just kept getting better and better. It was a little while after Louisa had “caught” me with her man. Thankfully, Amelia had arrived on the scene before anything weird could happen and dragged us away to this Italian restaurant everyone was apparently raving about.
The atmosphere was still incredibly weird, as you can imagine. The good thing was, Amelia was a professional awkward-defuser. She had to be after hanging around me for so long. Although the first few minutes of our dinner was silent and tense, she brought up some weird eating talent Alexander had...namely, getting bread crumbs all over his face. Before long, the table was in riots.
“He…he…he’s wearing food on his face!” Louisa shrieked, elbowing me and collapsing into hysterics.
I stared at Alexander and let out a loud snort. “You realize the food goes in the mouth, right?”
To his credit, Alexander’s response was good-natured. He slathered a few more sesame seeds under his nose. “This is the way to live, lads. You must live life on the edge, like me.” He stuck another seed onto his chin and began to stroke his imaginary mustache.
Yeah, these were the kids who would soon be of legal voting age in this country. I feared for America.
“Put one of those grapes up your nose and then you’ll really be living on the edge!” Amelia shrieked, slapping the table in mirth.
I won’t say what happened next, but I will say that I learned that night exactly how many grapes can fit into two nostrils. Let’s put it that way.
Anyway, after Alexander went to the bathroom still wearing his food on his face, the table dissolved into small talk. For the first time in a while, Louisa and I were able to keep a conversation going without one of us sending the other death glares. And Amelia was cracking jokes left and right—someone must have put something into her food.
She had been right. This felt like Thanksgiving more than anything else in the world at that moment.
It was all going well until Alexander returned. When he got back, there was a seriousness in his eyes that hadn’t been there before.
“So…Nancy,” he said, leaning against the booth but not taking a seat. His bangs flopped into his eye—probably intentionally. “Mind if I borrow you for a second?”
“Yes.”
“Of course she wouldn’t mind,” Amelia said loudly over my refusal. I glowered at her and she jerked her head to the side to indicate that I follow Alexander. Why was I friends with this girl again?
Louisa just stared adamantly out the window, her good mood gone. She was once again refusing to meet my gaze. I realized what this situation must have looked like to her and immediately felt bad.
“Okay, make it quick,” I sighed, getting up.
“Love the enthusiasm.”
“Stick around and you’ll get to see major annoyance next.”
Once we had rounded the corner and were safely out of earshot, Alexander stopped right in front of the bathrooms and leaned against the wall. I stopped but refused to look at him, instead choosing to fix my eye on the bathroom doorknob. Much more worthy of my attention, I have to say.
“So, I kind of screwed up,” Alexander announced.
“Wowie. Welcome to the normal world. We’ve heard much about you.”
“Nancy, can you be serious? I feel like you’re never serious around me.”
“Hmmm. What gave you that idea? The handlebar mustache?”
“Handlebar—what? No, what are you even talking about?” Alexander asked, wrinkling his nose.
“It’s invisible. Obviously.”
“Okay, really. I need you to be serious now because this…this is pretty important.”
I crossed my arms and fixed Alexander with my best death glare, the one I inherited from Dad. “So what’s so important that you could tell a virtual stranger and not your own girlfriend?”
“I’m…” Alexander paused and ran a hand through his hair, making it stick up at the ends. I would’ve thought it cute if I wasn’t so busy being angry at…okay, it was cute. “First of all, can you stop that?”
“Stop what? Responding? Yeah, I’ll—”
“Stop calling Louisa my girlfriend.”
“Why? Embarrassed?” I teased.
He mussed up the back of his hair, eyebrows pulling together in concentration. “No, not that. She’s just…not my…well…” He sucked in a breath and suddenly looked nervous.
“Not your…?” I prompted. “Hold on. Did you two break up?”
“Er…sort of.”
I stared at him. “Oh, man. I’m sorry.”
“Uh, thanks.”
Silence. I was sad. I should be sad, right? And I was…but a part of me was throwing a party, too. Jesus, I was so messed up. Who threw a party when her friend just got dumped?
“Wait a minute. Did you break Louisa’s heart?” I demanded, rolling up my (invisible) sleeves. If he said yes, it was time to see if my karate skills were already rusty or not. “Is that why she’s been looking so down? Because of you?”
Alexander backtracked and put his hands up in surrender. “Whoa, there. There’s no way I could have possibly broken Louisa’s heart.”
“Why’s that? I’ve seen her and she looks ready to head out to the country and become a hillbilly for life—”
“It’s not possible because we were never dating in the first place.”
I stopped mid-rant about farmers and stared at Alexander, whose face was turning paler and paler so that it was practically pasty enough to blend in with the wall. “Say…what?”
He exhaled and avoided my eye, shoving his hands deep into his pockets. “We never dated. In other words, our relationship was fake.”
I felt like I was in the Twilight zone. Like every math teacher I’d ever had had been lying to me, and I’d just now found out. “You mean…all those times you and Louisa were together…you weren’t really…together?” I said incredulously.
“Nope.”
“You two made the whole thing up?”
“Pretty much.”
“There’s really nothing going on?”
“Nothing.”
“It’s all a frickin’ lie?”
Alexander winced. “Can we call it an ‘act’ instead?”
I backed away and shook my head. My whole body felt like it was being whirled around in circles, especially my stomach. I felt ready to puke. Or strangle Alexander. Possibly both. “I don’t believe you. This…how…what…” I spluttered. “Why would you do that?”
But somehow I knew the answer even before he said it.
“Because, Nancy, you have got to be the densest girl on the planet and it seems like a guy has to go beyond extremes to get his feelings through that thick skull of yours and I’m sorry if I hurt you because I’m positive I did and I’m sorry if I seem crazy because frankly, I am. I’m crazy about you, I’ve always been crazy about you, and I’ll keep being crazy about you even if your only love on this planet is math.” Alexander’s chest heaved and he closed his eyes like a great weight had just been lifted from his shoulder. “Now is that clear enough for you?”
“Um…”
“I came on too strong, didn’t I?”
“Uh…”
He peeked open one eyelid and gave me a weak smile. “Well, say something.”
I knew now was the time to reciprocate Alexander’s huge, rambly speech. But I could hardly even get my mouth open. How could I say anything? How could I tell him my true feelings? I’d never done anything like that before. That was like…letting all my walls completely down, allowing a stranger to see my vulnerabilities. I didn’t even let my friends see them. How could I let Alexander?
Oh the other hand, I wanted to tell him. So badly. So much that my face felt like it was on fire after hearing his confession. And something inside me was giddy. Giddy!
After all, Alexander liked me. Me! And I liked him, I was practically positive of it. By my calculations, there was a 0.00000000000000000001 percent chance that I didn’t like him. And that was only because I was rounding.
“Er…” I tried to say. My heart was pounding so loudly that I was sure the chef in the kitchen could hear it, and I found I could no longer meet Alexander’s eye. “That is, Alexander…I mean to say…I, too…like…”
Then the tension of the moment was shattered when my ringtone went off in my pocket. Alexander slumped visibly against the wall. I checked my phone—it was Dad.
The formal dinner! I’d been out for ten minutes longer than planned.
Shoot.
“Um, Alexander, I really have to go right now,” I said hurriedly, running past him and flinging the restaurant doors open to let in the cool November air. He looked completely caught off guard as I barreled past him, the poor guy. “Thanks for your…words. I’ll think them over tonight.”
“Wait—where are you going?”
“Back!”
Without turning to see if any of them were running after me, I ran out into the city street and found the bus stop where we’d gotten off to head to the restaurant. Unfortunately me, the bus was just pulling away then. Which meant I had two choices: walk at least twenty minutes to get back to the hotel restaurant just in time for everyone to leave. Or wait for five more minutes for the next bus to come and pray the driver is a fast one.
Man, it was cold outside. Freezing. And I didn’t have Alexander’s warm jacket on me this time. This time, I was all alone—okay, with about five random strangers—waiting for the bus to come.
I shivered and watched my breath puff out in front of me.
“Nancy! Wait up!”
“Alexander?” I turned around in shock to find him running after me. Amelia and Louisa weren’t with him, either. My phone buzzed in my pocket—I had two new messages.
Amelia: Go get him, tiger! ;)
Louisa: Be gentle and take good care of him…he’s more fragile than he looks.
I groaned aloud.
“What…what are you looking at?” Alexander peeked over my shoulder.
My face flamed immediately. Like I needed him seeing that. “Oh, er, nothing,” I said, shoving my phone into my pocket and playing with my hair. Good thing it was cold enough that nobody could tell if my cheeks were rosy from the chill or the embarrassment.
“So…those two were worried that you’d get lost without someone escorting you to the bus,” Alexander said, leaning against a telephone pole and not quite meeting my eye.
“Oh. Right.”
For a long moment, neither of us said anything. I think Alexander might have been expecting us to pick up our conversation where we’d left it, but I certainly wasn’t going to be spilling out my innermost feelings with a bunch of potential eavesdroppers so close by.
Wordlessly, Alexander got up from the pole and draped his jacket around my shoulder.
“Um…you should keep th—”
“You’re cold, Nancy. Your lips are practically blue. Just take it.”
“Thanks,” I said softly. “I think I was just harassed into taking a jacket—twice—but, thanks.”
Alexander’s lip quirked in the corner. Then he flashed me a smile that I swear caused two passing girls to swoon. “Yeah. No problem.”
Jesus, if he kept smiling at me like that, I was never going to head back to the hotel. The bus pulled up just then in a whirlwind of screeches. I got onto the bus, grabbed hold of one of the only available standing poles, and was surprised when I found Alexander right next to me.
“You’re following me all the way back?” I asked, baffled.
“No, I live around here. Of course I’m taking you all the way back,” he scoffed. The bus bumped and I went crashing into Alexander’s hard, warm chest.
“Oh…sorry!” Jesus, if nobody could tell I was blushing before, they definitely could now. If someone hung me up next to a traffic light I could conduct the traffic, my face was that bright red.
“’S okay.” Alexander’s arm briefly encircled my waist to steady me, and then his warmth left. I was standing on my own again. And it was too awkward for us to talk, again.
We passed several stops and the bus slowly got emptier as people went to wherever they needed to go on Thanksgiving Day. After a while, Alexander and I sat down next to each other. I started to feel really, really sleepy.
“Three more stops,” I reminded Alexander in a mumble.
His eyelids were starting to droop, too. “Yeah. Hey, you sleepy?”
“A little.”
Alexander patted his shoulder. “Lean on me.”
My heart started pounding as I studied his broad shoulder. It did look like a good shoulder to sleep on. A very good shoulder.
“You have quality shoulders,” I heard myself say.
“Er…thanks?”
Quality shoulders? Jesus, I could feel myself blushing again. Alexander probably thought I was crazy. But I was so tired that I didn’t care. I tentatively leaned in to the welcoming warmth of his body heat. I thought I felt his arms encircle me, but then sleep overtook my mind.
*****
I awoke to pitch black. At first I couldn’t understand where I was or what I was sleeping on that was so soft yet hard or why my phone was ringing. So I sat up and answered the call.
“Hullluh,” I mumbled.
“Nancy? Have you done the drinking?”
“What? No.”
“Then where the hell-o you be?”
That woke me up quick. It was Dad, getting all worked up in one of his English rage moments again.
Strange. Wasn’t Kevin the one who usually got treated to that particular show?
“Dad? What’s wrong?” I said, suddenly feeling more awake. The ground rocked beneath my feet. Which meant either the world was ending, or…
Wait. Was I…on a bus?
OH. That’s right.
I was on a bus…
…to the dinner meeting…
…that had ended…
…two hours ago.
Man, I was toast.
Dad was shouting in my ear now. I couldn’t even understand him—something about being in so much trouble and shaming the family. It was literally like something out of my worst nightmare.
Mom grabbed hold of the phone at some point while Dad went off to rampage, presumably. For all of twenty seconds, she tried to soothe me. Which was pretty much a wasted effort at that point.
“Your dad is very…upset, but he really just wants to make sure you’re safe. So come home, okay?” she said quietly.
“What? Missing the dinner wasn’t that big of a deal, was it?” I demanded. Dad was blowing this way out of proportion. Right?
“It was…well, you received an invitation to do research with some Harvard alumni. But since you never came back from the bathroom…it looked bad, Nancy. It looked very bad for all of us.”
“Oh, God,” I groaned. I’d messed up a research opportunity with graduates from the all-important Harvard University? Dad was going to blow a fuse.
“I can’t believe her,” I heard him shout. “She miss the once-in-lifetime career opportunity, and for what? Nothing! I bet she suck face with that boy again!”
Mom tried to lessen the blow, obviously not realizing that I could hear quite clearly what Dad was yelling at the other end.
“Er…your father says…coming home is what’s important, and a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity means nothing? Nancy, just come back—” Then she was cut off.
“What a useless daughter we raise, just like your brother!” Dad screamed into the phone.
And the yelling went on. Eventually, I just let the phone drop to the floor and buried my face in my hands. I knew my father. Once you were on his bad side, you never got off. Kevin was living proof of that.
And now I was on his bad side, too.
Geez, this day really couldn’t have gotten any worse.
*****
A/N - So was the bus scene a dejavu moment or what? (For those who read the prequel). Anyway, sorry if stuff didn't make sense or if there were conventional errors - didn't have time for editing. Feel free to comment with any criticism you have, I'm always open to improvement.
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