Julia
"Anak, what's your plan? Three days nalang oh." Yeah, three days nalang, birthday ko na.
We're here at my tita's rest house dito sa Batangas. And I don't know kung kailan ko balak umuwi.
I requested this. Tutal, birthday ko naman kaya madaling pumayag si CJ at mama. She even took a one week leave sa trabaho niya.
"Dito nalang siguro ako mag ccelebrate ng birthday ko, simpleng salo-salo lang, okay na 'ko." I finally made up my decision. Ilang araw ko rin 'tong pinag-isipan.
I guess that plan of mine is really what makes me happy, and contented.
"Are you sure? No more plans?"
"Yes ma, no more plans." Then I smiled at her, then she just hugged me tight.
"Eighteen ka na, but you're still my baby girl. Please don't grow up too fast..." sabi ni mama habang nakayakap parin sakin.
I only smiled. Tama nga si mama, I grow up too fast. Parang kailan lang, naglalaro pa 'ko sa labas.
"I love you, ma..." I said then I kissed her cheeks. Lumaki man ako, I will still choose to hug and kiss mama even if it's weird, because it gives me comfort.
"Hay. No more dramas! Baka tuluyan pa 'kong umiyak dito!" Reklamo ni mama, I just laughed.
"Sige na, bumangon ka na diyan, let's have our breakfast. Tatawagin ko narin si CJ."
"Yes ma." I said then she left my room. I took a deep breath.
It feels so good having a vacation like this. Yung matutulog ka sa banig, dito sa kubo, you will only feel fresh air unlike sa city, na sobrang polluted na.
And you will have a break from your problems, which is what I am experiencing right now.
"Good morning, ate." Masiglang bati ni CJ habang nakaupo na sa dining table.
"Morning." Bati ko pabalik.
Umupo narin ako sa tapat ni CJ at nagsimula ng kumain.
"Uhm, anak..." tawag ni mama sakin.
"Yes, ma? I asked habang kumakain parin.
"Your boyfriend texted me earlier." I stopped.
Oh. My boyfriend.
"He's asking me if where are you, and how are you doing? Nag-away ba kayo?"
Kamusta nga ba ako?
"Uhm, hindi ma. Diba nga naiwan ko yung cellphone ko sa bahay? So, I didn't had a chance to talk to him." I said, convincing her.
It was actually my intention to left my cellphone. Sabihin niyo ng tinakasan ko yung problema ko, yes...that's true but that's what I want.
Nung nasa biyahe kami, gusto pa sana nilang balikan ko yung phone ko but I refused, kasi medyo malayo narin yung biyahe nun.
"Ahh. Bakit mo kasi iniwan? Do you want me to call him for you?" Suggestion ni mama but I shook my head, I didn't want to. Hindi pa 'ko handa.
At hindi ko alam kung kailan ako magiging handa.
"Sige na, wag ka ng mahiya. I know that you miss him." Pang-aasar ni mama. Sana nga, ganun.
"Ma naman eh! Wag na nga, hayaan mo siya dun, isang linggo lang naman eh."
"Eh kailan mo siya kakausapin? O may balak ka pa bang kausapin siya?" Sabi ni CJ. Aray ah.
"Tama na muna 'yan, kumain muna kayo." I took a deep breath.
Yeah, tama na muna 'yan.
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Nandito ako sa may tabing dagat, ang saya lang pagmasdan nitong maalong dagat na 'to.
Hindi pa gaanong mainit kaya maganda tumambay dito. Wala ring mga turista rito dahil hindi naman pick season.
Umupo ako sa may buhanginan habang pinakikinggan lang ang agos ng dagat.
Ang sarap lang sa pakiramdam na magkaroon ng ganitong oras...yung oras na wala kang ginagawa, wala kang masyadong iniisip, it feels so relaxing and I didn't want to get away from it.
"Pwedeng tumabi?" Tanong ni CJ kaya tumango lang ako. Naalala ko yung sinabi niya kanina...
"Eh kailan mo siya kakausapin? O may balak ka pa bang kausapin siya?"
It seems like, he can read the things that is on my mind even if he doesn't know our situation.
Eh wala naman akong pinagsabihan tungkol dun. Tsaka kung may pagsasabihan man ako, hindi si CJ 'yun.
Close naman kami pero, hindi ko kayang maglabas ng saloobin sa kanya kasi minsan, dala narin ng hiya dahil kapatid ko siya.
Minsan, mas mabuti talagang mag open up sa mga kaibigan. Pero sabi ng iba, mas makakatulong daw yung pamilya mo sa mga problema because they know you way longer and much better than your friends.
"May problema ka ba?" Bigla niyang tanong out of the blue.
"Hmm, wala naman. Bakit mo naman natanong?" Tanong ko rin pabalik. Maybe he has a clue...
"Wala lang. Nabigla lang kasi ako nung nagyaya ka dito..."
*flashback*
"Huy, okay ka lang?" Tanong ni Kim sakin pagkalabas ko ng kwarto.
I looked at the mirror and then I see myself looking...horrible.
"Yes, medyo napuyat lang." I said while combing my hair, para kasi akong sinabunot.
"Puyat? Eh para karing umiyak." I stopped.
Yeah, I cried.
"Tama karin diyan, nanood kasi ako ng Titanic kagabi, namiss ko eh." Pagdadahilan ko.
"Huhu. Tama ka nga, sobrang nakakaiyak yung ending!" Then umarte pa siyang parang naiiyak. Buti nakalusot ako.
"Sige, ligo muna ko." Sabi ko at kinuha ko na yung bath towel ko.
"Bakit? May date ka nanaman?" Pang-aasar niya, which is I didn't find funny.
"Date agad? Hindi ba pwedeng, gusto ko lang maligo?" Then I rolled my eyes at dali-dali akong pumasok sa cr.
Then a tear fell from my eyes
Pinunasan ko kaagad 'yun at nagsimula ng maligo.
Pero bago ako matapos, may naalala ako...
"I will do everything that I can do, para hindi na siya masaktan, I will prove to her, na worth it siyang ipaglaban."
"Will you let me fight with you?"
Will he let himself fight for us? Will I fight for him?
Am I worth the fight? Will he prove himself that he can't hurt me? Will he do everything for us?
If he can't, if we can't...then we must.
Pero paano? Hindi ko alam kung paano siya ipaglalaban knowing na may humahadlang 'don.
Hay. I want a break, free from all these questions that causes too much trouble inside of my head.
Dali-dali kong tinapos yung paliligo ko at bumaba para kumain ng breakfast. Good thing, nandito pa si mama at CJ.
"Ma, CJ..." Pagtawag ko sa kanila habang tinititigan ko sila na kumakain.
"Why, anak? Is there something wrong?" I shook my head.
"Nothing, ma. I just want to ask a favor...as a birthday gift narin."
"Ano 'yun anak?" Tanong ni mama. Nanatili namang nakatingin sakin si CJ, waiting for my answer.
"Can we have a one week vacation sa rest house ni tita sa Batangas? Is it okay?" They remained silent. Sana pumayag sila.
Wala kasing nakatira sa rest house ni tita ngayon since nasa abroad siya, pinapaupahan niya 'yun sa mga tao na gustong magvacation at yung kapatid nung asawa ni tita yung parang nagiging care taker, mommy siya ni Kimberly at kapatid din siya ni mama.
"Ge. Kapagod rin sa school eh." Sabi ni CJ. Napangiti ako. Now, I'm waiting for mama's approval. Sobrang busy kasi niya sa trabaho, maybe she can't have a temporary leave...
"Hmm. That's great." Sabi ni mama. So...pumapayag na siya?
"I'll agree to that. But, magpapaalam muna 'ko sa boss ko if I can have a week free from work." She said, smiling. Kaya napasmile narin ako.
"Thank you ma, CJ! You guys are the best!" Then I hugged the both of them. Sobrang saya ko lang.
I finally know what I really needed, and this is it.
*end of flashback*
"Sus. Sinamantala ko lang naman yung pagkakataon na free ako, tsaka birthday ko rin, 'noh."
"Hmm, okay." Sabi niya.
Kinuha niya yung cellphone niya sa may bulsa niya at parang may binabasang kung ano.
Tignan mo 'to, cellphone is life talaga. Mukhang hindi niya kayang mabuhay ng walang cellphone.
Ako nga, three days ng walang phone.
"Read this," sabi ni CJ sakin sabay abot ng phone niya but I refused, nilayo ko agad ito sakin.
"Please. Just this once, wag mo namang takasan yung problema." He said then left me with a frown on my face.
Napatingin ako sa cellphone na iniwan ni CJ sa tabi ko.
I took a deep breath before holding his phone, and read what CJ wants me to read.
It's a post from Facebook that CJ shared...
"Please don't give up, because I'm not going to give you up. I know that you're having a break, but please don't break up with me. I know that you didn't want to remember what sh*ts have you seen somewhere, but please remember what I said when we we're on the bleachers, having an awkward conversation. I know that you wanted to fight me, but before that, let me prove to you that I want to fight for you because you are worth fighting for. I know that you ran away from complications, but I am also willing to run to the place where I can see you, to talk to you, to hold you, and to get beaten by you again. Even if you wanted to stay there for a long time without making me a part of your birthday...me? I didn't want that. What I wanted was, for you to stay with me, forever. I love you very much and God knows how much I miss you. I'm sorry.
-Zach."
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