....All Of Me Belongs To You....
Chapter 22:
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Arnav Malik....
A mysterious personality of Arnav...
A fifteen year old in an adult body...
A personality who wants to commit suicide and hurt himself..
The number of times Arnav had used concealers to hide the scars of suicide attempts was countless.
Malik looked around to find that he's in the office and that too all alone.
He opened Arnav's phone, struggled a little since he doesn't comes out more often and not well familiar with technology.
And played some music on the phone.
Malik likes music a lot..
Music just carries some power that it always felt like gripping his heart.
He put his legs on the table and leaned against the chair with his hands on the back of his head, eyes closed.
Malik rarely comes out because he doesn't have an interest in life or living beings.
Suddenly the mobile beeped, disturbing him. He looked at it irritatingly to find some ad on the internet about some new serial.
He got curious and played the video,
The title theme of the new serial started playing while he listened it, again going back to his previous position.
~~~ Toot Ke Bikhra Padda Hoon,
Shans lena Bhi Hai Saza,
Jeene Mein Abb Kya rakha Hai,
Marr Raha Shau Dafa…
Kaisi Ye Sazishein,
Roothi Hai Ranzishein,
Leeti Hai Karwatein Zindagi…
Abb Kis Modd Pe Aake Ruka Hoon Main,
Na Koi Modd Hai Na Koi Pata~~~~~
(A/N: It's Bepanah serial song. Usually I don't include songs but I wanted to do include this one. I don't know why but I felt these lines fit Arnav here.)
Malik felt like he wanted to cry all his sadness out.
ASR only knows rage and obsession..
While Arnie only knows fun and freedom..
Every personality suppress the sadness and Arnav buries the mere thought of something sad..
All those sadness gave birth to him, Arnav Malik...
The sadness...
The loneliness..
The unfairness that happens to him..
The abandonment..
Malik feels all these things alone and how the other personalities expect him to not commit suicide..?
How much a fifteen year old boy could endure..?
Malik stopped the song playing and pulled his knees up, hugging himself as if he's all alone in the whole world.
He rotated the rolling chair he was sitting on in Arnav's cabin playfully but it didn't bring a smile on his face.
Malik had forgotten long ago of how to smile..
While every personality moved forward, Malik's mentality kind of got struck on being fifteen.
He was Arnav Malik because he was fifteen and that time he had his f-father's surname.
After the fire accident, Arnav's name was changed to Raizada because he was taken in Raizada's family registry.
Malik got up and looked around to find anything sharp..
Malik looked around outside of the cabin and found a knife in working room where they cut clothes and such while designing using that.
Malik looked at the knife in fascination and took it with devotion..
He walked slowly back to the cabin, staring at the knife in wonder.
Such a small thing but a gateway to an eternal peace, called death..
Malik looked at his reflection from the outside glass of the cabin.
He really looked older than what he had seen last time.
Before entering the cabin he pulled his sleeve up and washed his hands five times so the concealer will wear off from Arnav's skin..
Malik looked at the hands after the concealer had worn off, there were multiple thin lines of scars on his left hand..
All of his attempts to suicide,...
After all he has been trying to end himself along with all personalities for the past ten years..
But, somehow someone will always save Arnav after Malik loses consciousness.
Usually, it's that Aman guy but he too was not here anyway..
Many may wonder why this method to suicide..?
It's because Malik favours this way of dying..
Bleeding to death..
Red filling the floor, surrounding his body after he fall down, like decorating him..
Like an art...
Like some sort of silent poetry..
Death was so beautiful...
And the pain of bleeding, anchors him and other personalities to be stable..
Malik put the sharp knife above his left hand and cut a small one..
This is for Arnie..
Who always wants to be free and have freedom. After all what can be more freedom than Death itself..
He cut a little deeper than previous one for ASR..
ASR....
What a fool! ASR, who wants to destroy Arnav... Arnav is like a foundation. How could ASR survive if he destroyed the very foundation..
He cut another deeper one for Arnav....
Malik felt pity for him...
So sorrowful and painful..
Everything happened to Arnav was so unfair and injustice. The world was very unfair to Arnav...
Malik knew that if Arnav knew about the fire accident, Arnav will break apart even further and will esentially cannot able to hold sanity and will finally go mad with the way his mind was already unstable.
Every personality was suffering..
Malik knew the only answer to all their suffering is Death...
That's why Malik wants to end all the personalities suffering sooner.
He cut a deeper one...
This is for him...
For Arnav Malik, a fifteen year old boy suffering in an adult's body, being stuck in this hell hole of Arnav's mind as long as Arnav lives..
With that he forced his face muscles into what seemed to be a smile and lost his consciousness.
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Khushi with her heart hammering, pushed aside the media in front of the hospital, ignoring their questions and ran inside the hospital, not caring about anything.
She had been depressed after the media scandal of Arnav ji with some girl. Arnav ji didn't even call her to explain and she too in anger didn't call him..
But, when evening, her mobile rang. It was Payal Di asking how Arnav ji was and that's when she told to check the media or ask her relatives that he was admitted to hospital because he was seriously ill.
Khushi was so worried and none of Arnav ji's relatives attended her call. Khushi asked one of the drivers to drive her to the hospital Arnav Ji was in as reported in the news.
Khushi scrolled down further to see Aman ji giving a statement that Arnav ji was all day along in the hospital being ill and that photo of him being with a girl was fake.
Khushi felt guilty of being angered with him while he was seriously ill.
Khushi looked at Arnav ji's relatives who were all sitting on the chairs around the corridor out of the room Arnav ji must be in.
Why no one informed her, even Aman ji hadn't told her anything about Arnav ji's condition.
Everyone was startled to find her and the head of the Raizada family got up and glared at her,
“Who asked you to come here..? It's already enough of a scandal."
“What?"
Khushi asked in shock and disbelief that they are all worried about the scandal instead of Arnav ji.
Anjali got up and came close to her,
“Grand ma, what can you expect from an ordinary girl like her? Can't you think, Khushi? There was a scandal in the morning about what my dear brother had done and now finally things are settling down. Why did you come here? The media were trying to contact you that's why you were safe in Raizada Mansion but you had failed to use your stupid brain and came here where all the media is..."
“But, Arnav ji..."
Armaan pulled her a little away from them and said to her almost inaudibly,
“Don't make a scene here, Khushi or else the elders will be very angry. And also don't worry about, Arnav.. He's not ill or anything. It's probably a set up to cover the scandal."
Khushi staggered where she stood and was horrified to think that these people care so much about their reputation..
And Arnav ji...
Was he even ill for real...?
Or is it some way to cover up the scandal..?
Because, she did notice that media's attention was completely on the condition Arnav ji was and will it be a chance for other heirs to be the head of Raizada family..?
Did Arnav ji plan all this..?
No.... She has to see him right now...
She can't believe anyone here..
Everyone here was cunning and manipulative..
She has to remember that Arnav ji's world was full of wolves and predators and she can't become a prey.
Khushi pulled her hand from Armaan.
She was glad that Armaan was looking out for her despite the fights they had but she can't lean on anyone.
“I want to see him. Move away."
“Have you gone mad girl or are you deaf? Just go home from the backside of hospital. I will call the driver to pick you there."
Anjali replied her and Khushi had never felt angrier than now..
“I think you're the deaf one Anjali.. I said I want to see him. Move away."
Anjali was shocked that she was calling her by name instead of Di with respect. Anjali had lost all respect when Khushi heard how much she abused Arnav ji verbally every chance she gets and how she planned to kill her husband.
“Khushi.. Go home.."
Grandmother Raizada said in an authoritive voice which Khushi knew that no one in the family will speak back to the head of Raizada family, Devyani Raizada if she used that tone.
“I want to see..."
“He is fine. Go home just as Anjali said."
Armaan pulled the sleeve of her dress as if to warn her. She pulled her hand away from him,
“Still, I want to see how..."
She was cut off in mid sentence when Grandma Raizada raised her voice which she never did, always calm and polite.
“I won't let you, so there.. Go home now."
Everyone of Arnav ji's relatives were shocked by the rise of grandmother's voice.
Who do they all think they are..
She was tired of this constant politics inside family and how they're all pushing her from one side to another as if she's a doll with strings.
She tolerated them all because they were Arnav ji's relatives and she didn't want to trouble him by getting into arguments with them but, standing between her and her Arnav ji while he may be even ill for real was intolerable.
Khushi stood firmly and glared back at Grandma Raizada,
“Let me? Let me? Who are you to let me see Arnav ji? He's my husband and I was kind enough till now asking you to move aside.. But I've lost all my patience."
Grandma Raizada was shocked that someone talked back like this to her and Khushi was beyond caring.
Khushi pushed away a little and was stopped by the guards of Anjali and Anjali herself.
“You know... I don't want to slap you so move aside... And also if you don't let me in, I will go outside and tell all the media out there that you people are not letting me see Arnav ji and will create a huge scene.. So.. Move."
Anjali gestured the guards to move away and cursed her openly.
Khushi sneered at Anjali and moved towards the door Arnav Ji was staying in.
Her hands trembled with various emotions. She was always a kind and easy go person who had lead a very ordinary life..
But, to stand back against powerful people was very scary.
She was glad that she stood up else God knows how long will she be manipulated and ordered around?
Khushi was refused again to go inside. This time it was the doctor who was stopping her.
From the looks of it no one had seen Arnav ji till now. Some relatives they are.. Not caring about how Arnav ji is..
“Please let me in Doctor.. I am his wife and I have completed my doctorate degree too.. So please.. I won't disturb him, I just want to see him once. Please.."
Just then the door Arnav ji was staying opened and Aman ji came out.
“Let Mam in, Doctor.."
The doctor shared a secret glance and then allowed her.
Aman watched Khushi half ran and half walked towards Master Arnav lying on bed.
He heard how they all ganged up on Khushi while he stayed inside with unconscious Master Arnav. He didn't interfere because he wanted her to stand up for herself.
He was glad that she stood up among the wolves and was surprised to see how she talked back to Head of Raizada family.
Aman let Khushi in because he wanted Khushi to know in what condition Master Arnav was and to know about the scars and how much he had suffered.
It will be another push in their relationship.
Aman wanted soon to get out of the hospital and drink himself into oblivion..
He cannot stop the urge to wash his hands frequently..
The red in his hands...
The blood of his Master Arnav...
How many times..?
How many times he has to watch Master Arnav getting hurt.?
He was only a human being...
Aman wanted nothing but his Master Arnav's happiness.
Seeing him hurt every time hurts him too much.
He cannot stop thinking about the image of Master Arnav lying down on the floor with blood flowing from his hand..
God...!
How long can Aman tolerate this life..?
Khushi walked past Aman ji and moved towards Arnav ji who was unconscious on the bed..
Tears trailed her cheeks looking at him so pale..
When she asked the nurse nearby about his condition, she looked at Khushi strangely before going out of this room.
Just then Khushi looked down by chance and saw multiple scars on his hand which she had never seen till now..
His left hand was dressed and she's not a doctor for nothing as even an ordinary person could tell..
Arnav ji had attempted suicide...
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(A/N: So you all get to know about another character.. It was kind of depressing to write this chapter and hope you're all thrilled for next chapter.
See you with next update.)