Chapter 21
The eagerly awaited wedding was to take place at Memphis' Botanic Gardens, a place Josie knew well. Her dad said it was the place he irreplaceably lost his heart to Hannah, but he'd been too stupid to realize it at the time. The many times her family came to Memphis over the years, they always made a point to visit the gardens, just so Hannah and Justin could dance among the roses like they had that first time.
Josie had her own fond memories of the place...watching her young siblings run up and down the paths and among the trees, loving the gaiety of Jak and the twins as they scampered along the Big Backyard. It had been a while since she came back, and upon arriving early for the wedding and being the first of the bridesmaids to have her make-up and hair fixed, she took a few moments to walk through some of the nearby gardens before getting into her dress. Her favorite place was the wooded hosta paths. She loved the shadows dancing among the flowers and plants, and she could sit at one of the benches for hours, just breathing in the sweet, fresh air.
That’s where Travis found her, him strolling along in his tuxedo, his jacket hooked with a finger over his shoulder. “Hey,” he said, stopping as he spotted her. He smiled and walked over. “Shouldn’t you be getting ready?”
“I have some time,” Josie said. “Arielle’s stylist is working on her, and from the picture I saw of the hairdo...she might be late for her own wedding.”
Travis nodded. “I’ve seen the picture, too...it’ll take three stylists to get Arielle’s hair to do that.”
Josie laughed. “But she’ll be beautiful.”
“She always is,” Travis said, and Josie preferred not to comment on that. She knew he loved Arielle, and they were the best of friends, but Josie couldn’t help wondering sometimes if he thought…
She swallowed those thoughts away and asked, “How was the bachelor party?”
He shrugged and joined her on the bench. “Oh, pretty much like any bachelor party, I guess. We played poker using potato chips, and Sam kept eating his, so he lost all his currency before an hour was up. There was a lot of beer, a lot of pizza, one stripper with an attitude and a man duct-taped to my kitchen floor.”
“What?” Josie asked, laughing again.
He grinned, pulled out his cell phone and scanned around for a photo, showing it to her. “David...he committed the ultimate party foul. Never be the first to pass out.”
She shook her head with amusement. And pulled out her own cell phone. “We went shopping for a menstrual cup, emptied six bottles of wine, dressed Arielle up like a demented Playboy Bunny, and got a little too close and personal during a demonstration of Tantra yoga positions.” She showed him the photo of her and Arielle.
Travis chuckled. “I’ve seen it.”
She grinned. “You weren’t supposed to.”
“Don’t tell Arielle...or Sam will haul me up a flagpole. What’s a menstrual cup?”
Josie laughed as she tucked her phone away. “Trust me, you don’t want to know.”
“Well, it sounds gross,” he said.
“Then it’s a good thing you don’t know what it is,” she said, and asked, “Where’s the Little Man?”
“He spent the night with Ari’s mom last night. I don’t think they’re here yet,” Travis said, and Josie clasped her hands in her lap, allowing the conversation to drift away. The sat in silence until he cleared his throat and said, “It turned out to be a nice day.”
Josie looked up through the tree branches, seeing the spattering of fluffy clouds drifting slowing by. “Yes. They couldn’t have begged for better weather, especially for a summer wedding. I was afraid it would be too hot.”
“Me, too,” he said. “This monkey suit is warm enough.”
Josie let her gaze fall over him. “Well, you look very handsome.”
He glanced down at himself. “You’ll never see me in a pink tie ever again.”
“I think her original idea was to have the whole tux pink,” Josie said.
And Travis snorted. “And I would have made plans to be out of town today, if that was the case.” He looked around the hosta garden and said, “I’ve never been to this part of the park. Usually Trist and I hang out at the kid’s place.”
“I love this section of the grounds,” Josie said with a sigh. “My family came here often, and we each had our favorites. Mom and Daddy like the rose garden, Jak preferred the cafe, of course, and the girls were always at either the water garden or chasing butterflies. But whenever I got a chance to walk alone, I always came here.”
“I figured you to set down roots on the concert lawn,” he commented wryly.
“I have actually never been to a concert here,” she said. “Have you?”
“A few times,” he said. He looked over and said, “Maybe, um, I can take you sometime. There’s one coming up in a few weeks...the studio can get tickets to just about any event in town.”
Josie stared at him for a moment, and then she grinned. “Are you asking me out on a date?”
He turned away and fidgeted, balling the shoulders of his jacket in his fist and smoothing down his tie and kicking at a clod of dirt under his toe. “I haven’t been on a date in…” He frowned and whistled to himself. “Wow...almost a year.”
“Are you asking me out on a date?” she repeated, hope and good feelings soaring in her chest.
“Yeah...sure, I guess,” he muttered, staring down at his feet.
“You don’t sound very convinced of that,” Josie said, not at all upset that he didn’t. This was the happiest she’d been in a long time. Travis...asked her on a date…
Mental happy dance!
“That’s because I’m not,” he replied, and Josie stopped her inner tango to look at him...really look. He hid and controlled it well, but his eyes were tight. Scared.
Josie shifted on the bench toward him and placed a comforting hand on his arm. “What’s bothering you, Travis? Tell me. Maybe I can help.”
He lifted his eyes to stare off through the trees. “Everything changes after today,” he said quietly. “I’m not ready.”
Well, at least he admitted that he was the one having separation anxiety...and not Tristan. That was good...sort of. He understood. And understanding -- accepting -- the problem was the first part to fixing it.
“Life changes, Travis,” she told him softly. “You can’t stop it or make it to go away. You’ve been in your comfort zone for long enough. You have to change with it, or it will destroy you.”
He let out a small laugh. “Josie girl, I haven’t been in my comfort zone since the Monday we started working together.”
Josie’s lips curved when he said Josie girl. She liked that better than Princess. And if that’s how he saw her, Josie girl, then he had already begun to change. She hopped off the bench and grabbed his arm, dragging him up. “Come...I want to show you something.”
She set off between the trees, leaving the path behind, and he said, “If I get dirty, Arielle will kill me.”
“You won’t get dirty,” she said. “We’re just taking a shortcut.”
“Where are we going?”
“You’ll see.” She led him across the lawns and through the gardens to the fountain by the cafe. It gushed upward, spraying the area with a misty dew, and Josie stopped at the edge and fished a coin from her jean’s pocket. “Here,” she said, giving it to him. “Make a wish.”
“Josie,” he sighed. “This doesn’t change anything.”
“Change has already happened,” she said. “Toss it in. Make a wish. There is magic here. I’ve always felt it. So, whatever it is...you’ll get your wish.”
His fingers curled around the small penny as he gazed at her. “And if it doesn’t come true?”
“Don’t be afraid to take a chance,” she said, and turned to stare at the sparkling waters rippling through the bottom of the fountain.
He breathed out...paused...and tossed the penny into the water. Josie smiled. “See? That’s wasn’t so bad,” she said, and he pulled her into his arms and kissed her.
The world skewed sideways, changing and magical, and Josie felt that kiss from her toenails up. He clung to her tightly, almost as though she could save him from his own fears, and she prayed that she could. Eventually, he released her, breathing heavy, and he said, “Meet me here when all this is over...we’ll have that talk.” Then he kissed her gently one more time and walked away.
Josie dropped to the edge of the fountain, feeling the wetness soak through her clothes and dampen her carefully made-up hair, but she didn’t care. She would have to fix that, along with her makeup, because that kiss just ruined her bridesmaid styling, and Arielle could fuss all she wanted. Josie had the excuse of a blue-ribbon kiss to pardon her from the bride’s wrath. Even Arielle can’t get mad about this.
Checking her watch, she cursed silently and rushed back to the women’s tent on the edge of the hydrangea garden near the chapel-like pavilion. Everyone inside was ready to go, even Arielle, who was pacing the spacious tent nervously. All eyes turned to Josie when she entered, and Arielle frowned at her.
“What on earth…?” Arielle said, looking at Josie’s dampened hair and smeared lipstick.
Josie grinned. She said only one word, “Travis,” and dived behind one of the curtains to put on her dress. Ten minutes later, dress in place, hair back the way it should be, and make-up freshened, Josie followed the wedding party toward the pavilion.
It was a lovely set-up, white chairs lined up perfectly, with pink ribbons trailing loosely among pale rose petals and a long white rug marking the distance down the aisle. About sixty guests were in attendance, and Josie smiled lovingly when she saw Tristan decked out in his tiny tuxedo. Most of the bridesmaids and groomsmen assembled, ready to proceed. Josie brought her bouquet to her nose, inhaling the sweet fragrance of the roses as she waited for Travis to appear by her side. He was the only member of the wedding party missing, but they still had a few minutes, so Josie didn't worry.
When he did arrive, she turned to smile at him, eager to see the same happiness shining in his eyes. But all she saw was more fear...intensified in the set of his jaw, the wideness of his eyes, the tremble of his shoulders. He moved over to her as Sam and the minister approached the end of the aisle, and the wedding music began to play.
Josie hooked her arm through his, leaned over and said, “Smile, Travis, or people are going to think you don’t want Arielle to get married.”
He made a sound...one that did not sound positive, and Josie closed her eyes for a moment, her happiness waning with every breath. Maybe, that’s exactly what he thinks...he doesn’t want her to marry.
*****
Travis held it together for about as long as he could. But then Josie told him at that fountain to take a chance, and he did, and he kissed her, because kissing her always seemed to make him feel better...then worse. And that’s how it was this time.
Kissing Josie again rocked his control. Once all this was over, his life, as he’d lived it for three years, was over. And he didn’t want it to be.
Oh, he loved the fact that Tristan would be closer when they moved back to Memphis, and he loved the fact that Arielle was happy with Sam, but he just couldn’t make himself agree to the changes occurring before him...without him.
Since he’d been fifteen, he’d been essentially alone. When his mother finally chose her boyfriends and her partying lifestyle over her obligations as a mother and told him to get out, he’d been practically widowed from any kind of love. At such a young age, he learned to be responsible only for himself, living on the streets, trying to go to school until he finally gave that up, and working wherever there was work.
In the gutters of Los Angeles, Travis Fischer became a man before his maturity had been ready. Eventually, he got a job at a record label -- the same label Livie originally worked for -- by lying about his age and education. He learned the technical sides of making music, and he discovered he had a gift -- a responsive ear -- for turning mediocre songs into smash hits. Just after his sixteenth birthday, he’d been given the chance to assist one of the top recording engineers on an album for one of the most successful musicians of the time, but Travis ended up doing all the work, and when a short, bossy woman burst into the studio the next day, asking all kinds of questions about the album, Travis knew he’d been found out. They knew he’d lied on his application. They knew he was a sixteen-year-old, high school drop-out. He was on the verge of getting kicked to the curb...again.
Then that little woman looked at him and asked, “Did you do this?” She waved a copy of the cd at him furiously. Travis had lost a lot of things in the past year, but he’d never lost his respect.
“Yes, ma’am,” he’d said plainly.
She narrowed her gaze at him and asked, “How old are you?”
“Eighteen,” he said.
She snorted and said, “Eighteen, my ass. Young man, come with me.”
And he did. But instead of hustling him to the personnel department, or one of the managers, she took him up to her office, closed the door, and demanded that he tell the truth. Something about that woman impressed him. He didn’t know what it was, but he spilled his entire life to that point.
And she laughed. “What’s your name?” she asked.
“Travis Fischer,” he said, and she said, “I’m Olivia Williams. People call me Livie or Liv. Take your pick, because now...you’re working for me.”
“I beg your pardon,” he’d said.
She tossed the cd to her desk. “I just lost my sound engineer. You’re his replacement. You’ll work for me and no one else here at this company.”
He had stared at her, not sure if this was a dream come true or a trick. “And if I don’t?”
“Then take your ass back down to Lyle, and spend the next twenty years working that ass off with the hopes of another chance like this.”
Travis didn’t have to think about it. “Okay,” he’d said. And she added, “But I have a few conditions. First, you finish school. We’ll figure out how you’ll do that tomorrow. Then you make me a promise that you’ll stick by my side, no matter what happens.”
He’d not been sure what she meant by that last part, but he promised. And he’d never regretted it.
Livie had been the first person to show him the respect he knew he deserved. In a weird way, he loved her like she was the mother he’d always wanted. His life had changed for the better that day...and when he met Arielle, he’d learned a new kind of love...a friendship that wouldn’t die, no matter how irritating Arielle had been.
And then came Tristan. Love after the birth of his own son took on a whole other meaning.
These were changes in his life he wanted...had waited for.
And it was all about to change again.
Standing there with Josie, about to walk down the aisle with her, he drank the beauty that she was, and he knew she was a part of all these changes. He rediscovered the love of a mother again, the love of friends, and the love of being a father, but the rest? He’d never been in love before, and it scared him.
Love scared him.
It could be so volatile. One day, contentment and security and a cherished smile, and the next...you’re being pushed away, shoved from all you know and had. Love could change too quickly for him. He’d embraced what love he had at the moment, but now…
Livie was sick and retiring. Arielle was getting married. And Tristan was getting a new daddy.
Travis was clinging to what was left of the balance in his life by the skin of his fingernails. What would happen with Josie, if he took a chance on falling in love with her?
*****
The music thrummed in his ears; the scent of coconuts and lavender and roses sailed into his nostrils, straight to his constricting lungs; the rose petals of the flower girl danced mockingly as they drifted to the ground; and the aisle stretched a mile long. Travis swallowed the rise of bile.
Changes…
He walked with Josie to the altar, separated and watched Tristan run full speed down the aisle carrying his ring pillow. The spattering of laughter from guests and family swirled in his brain. He had no family here. Just Livie and Arielle and Tristan.
All about to change…
About to lose it all…
His eyes went to Arielle, coming slowly down the dreaded path with her father. She did look beautiful. And happy. And a happiness bloomed in his heart for her. She deserved this. She deserved all of it. She was the best of women, but she was changing his life, too.
Travis moved his gaze across the aisle, saw Josie, standing there, also beautiful in a pink gown that highlighted everything beautiful about her. She smiled at him, and he stared into her green eyes, wondering if life would be better with her. He was too afraid to think too deeply on the idea.
Too afraid to even breathe.
The minister called for a prayer. The initial speech was said. The subject of who denies the union was spoken. And the vows were exchanged; the rings slipped on.
Travis held onto his son’s tiny hand for dear life. His tie strangled him. His clothes felt too tight, the sun too warm, the day too long.
Then the kiss was shared, and Tristan jerked away from his father to climb up into Sam’s arms, hugging the groom tightly as he loudly said, “Yay! Daddy Sam! Love Daddy Sam!”
Travis felt everything inside him go wrong. The only thing holding him to this earth was the lock of his knees.
Arielle, Sam and Tristan left the altar as the guests applauded...leaving Travis behind.
Then suddenly, his arm was taken, his feet were forced to move, and a sweet voice whispered in his ear, “I’ve got you, Travis...breathe.”
*****
Josie’s heart battled against joy and pain. The ceremony was lovely, the couple standing there were happy, but Travis was clearly suffering. When Tristan went to Sam, Josie saw Travis’s heart break right before her eyes.
As soon as she was allowed, she took hold of him, guided him down and away from everyone, ushering him into the nearest tent.
“Sit here,” she said, pushing him gently into a chair. She dropped her flowers, got a water bottle from a cooler and told him to drink.
He did, but his eyes fell into his own dreary thoughts. Josie loosened his tie, splashed some of the water on her hands, and massaged it into cheeks and forehead. “Look at me, Travis,” she said calmly. “Everything will okay. Just breathe...in and out...long, slow breaths.”
Slowly, he came back to her. She smiled softly and held his face between her palms. “Hey, you,” she said. “What do you need? I’ll get it for you.”
“Tristan,” he croaked out. “My son…”
Josie kissed his forehead and stood up. “I’ll be right back.” She peered out of the tent, saw Christy and waved her over.
Christy said, “There you are. We’re needed for pictures. Have you seen Travis?”
“He’s in here,” Josie said quietly. Nobody needed to know how Travis freaked out during the ceremony. “We’ll be there in a moment, but would you track down Tristan? His daddy needs him.”
Christy’s eyes traveled into the tent and widened when she saw Travis, pale and slightly trembling. “Is he okay?” she whispered.
“He’s fine,” Josie assured her calmly. “Can you get Little Man as quickly as possible?”
“Yeah...yeah, I’ll go get him.”
“Thanks,” Josie said and returned to Travis. “He’ll be here in a sec,” she told him and hunkered down in front of him, as best as she could in a full-length gown and heels. “How do you feel? You want more water? Or a shot of whiskey?”
“No.” He set the water bottle aside, bent over and put his head in his hands. Josie could hear him trying to calm his breathing, deep inhales...slow, slightly-shaky exhales. She rubbed his back, knowing that a loving touch could sometimes heal the hardest of sore spots.
The tent flap opened and Christy said, “Here he is...how long do you need?”
“Just stall for us,” Josie said and smiled as Tristan scampered into the tent.
“Daddy! Daddy!” Tristan yelled. “Have Daddy Sam now!”
Travis raised his head and…
Dear Lord…
Josie’s heart twinged with pain as solemn tears leaked out of Travis’ eyes. Travis wiped his cheeks and tried on a smile. He opened his arms, saying, “Come give me a hug, Little Man.”
But Tristan jumped into Josie’s arms instead, hugging her, stunning Josie because she wasn’t prepared to have thirty-pound monkey attaching himself to her neck, and shocking Travis...because his son grinned happily and said, “And have Mommy Shosie now! Love Mommy Shosie!”
Josie frowned and blinked, said, “What?” and met Travis’ tormented gaze...and they both saw the proverbial light bulb at the same time.
Either Tristan expected his daddy and Shosie to get married next...or he already thought they had.
*****
(Note about the following chapters: They were restricted and set as private due to wattpad's content filter when I uploaded. Cannot remove the restriction at this moment. Sorry for the inconvience.)