PART 4: NOT EVEN HALF -MINE
"Love, it never dies. It never goes away, it never fades, so long as you hang on to it. Love can make you immortal" - Gayle Forman
Tristan's POV
"Shhhh..." masuyo kong bulong sabay lapat ng daliri ko sa labi nya. I want her to stay silent so I could enjoy the moment of being this close to her.
I can feel her being uncomfortable with our position. In the close proximity that we have, I can almost feel her erratic heartbeat. How i wish that her heart beats for me...
I can't explain this feeling that I have right now.
It could probably be some sense of territoriality over my best friend. I was used to having her full attention since we've met. Not that I'm complaining pero ngayon lang yata siya tumingin sa iba maliban sa akin...
And I don't like it.
I don't like the feeling of having to compete for my best friend's affection.
Damn!
She's the sweetest girl I know. If only I could monopolize her time then I'd do it. If only I could claim her for myself, then I'd be happier... Pero alam ko naming hindi pwede.
I've seen how skittish and uneasy he'd been with other men. I don't want her to look at me with disdain in her eyes. I'd rather cage myself in the friend zone forever. After all ang girlfriend pwede ibreak, sa pagiging friends namin wala kaming breakup hahahaha.
What the hell man...Im talking to myself again.
DEym.
Madalas kong sitahin si Ella sa pagdedaydreaming pero ako naman am talking to myself?!
Get a hold of yourself dude! Sayang ang moment ngayon!
I was jolted back to my senses when she squirmed and moved her head a little.
Nakakatawa talaga itong babaeng ito. Gising naman ayaw pang dumilat! Hmmm yung pagtutulog-tulugan mo could work to my advantage!
Maniac! that little voice at the back of my head was at it again. Konsensya lang? Di ba mga babae lang ang may ganun?!
I raised my hand near her head to block her escape. I brought her her sa locker room to show her what a flirt Victor is. He doesn't deserve her! Paglalaruan lang sya ng maniac na yun. I want her to stop fantasizing about my rival. I don't want her to get hurt. I hate to see her hurt.
Why dont you want her to get hurt? the voice in my head taunts me.
For one she's my best friend and i'd never want to see her cry because of some testosterone-fuelled guy who can get some slack anywhere. My bestfriend deserves someone better.
At sino yung someone better na yun? Ikaw? tudyo ng utak ko.
Malamang ako. Sino pa ba ang dapat para sa kanya? Sino pa nga ba ang pwedeng magmahal sa kanya ng sobra-sobra? Ako lang di ba?Besides I love her as my friend!
Friend nga lang ba?Why lie to yourself?Iisa lang tayo. tudyong muli ng boses sa utak ko.
Damn! Why do i keep talking to myself?!
Tsk. Tsk. Tama ba talaga na sagutin ko ang sarili ko.?! Oh man, im screwed. Im debating with myself.
I felt her body tensed. After a few seconds she slowly relaxed her body. She seemed to be enjoying our close proximity...Or should I say she's daydreaming again at malamang ay si Victor na naman ang laman ng pantasya nya. Naikuyom ko ang kamao ko na nasa gilid ng ulo nya, subalit nagtimpi pa din ako.
Her strawberry scent is so damned intoxicating. I need more than anger to control this growing maleness inside me. Pang-aasar na lang siguro ang sagot ko dito. Baka sakaling mawala ang pagnanasa ko sa kaibigan ko!
" Ella...ayan ka na naman. Araw na araw nananaginip ka..."
I felt her expel her breath. Gusto rin ba niya ang posisyon namin? We are so close I feel so connected to her. I am more than aware of the her heartbeats na parang nagkakarerahan sa bilis.
I wonder if she feels the way i do? Pero kahit na hindi pareho ang nararamdaman namin, ang alam ko lang sa araw na to ay fiesta! No man has ever came close to her like this.Just me. Heck!She's not even half-mine!But guess I have to make do with what fate has to offer.
"Ano ba kasi ang ginagawa natin dito?" mahinang sabi ni Ella. It was enough to jolt me back to my senses.She's really uncomfortable now. She's now probably aware of the very compromising position that we have.
Oh well, i could probably enjoy the fact kung mahuhuli kaming magkasama sa ganitong sitwasyon. Double purpose dahil lalayo na ang mga babaeng harot na stalkers ko plus mapapalapit pa lalo ako sa kanya.
Natigil ako sa pagmumuni-muni ko when I heard the incoming footsteps. I just knew who are those coming and i'm kinda elated that my purpose for coming here will not be in vain.
Napatingin ako sa mukha ni Ella dahil palapit na sa lugar namin ang mga yabag. We are at the far corner of the locker room partially obscured by the hanging towels. This area is frequented by people na gustong gumawa ng milagro ng di mahuhuli ng guards. I thought by this time Ella had already noted na malapit na sa amin ang dalawang taong gusto kong makita nya. But i smiled upon seeing her face.
Ella's eyes were dazed. Her face upturned and blushing steadily. The semi-darkness of the place we are at doesnt hide the fact that this girl blushes so beautifully. Her lips were parted a little and her eyes were closed. She looks as if she was waiting to be kissed.
And kiss her i must! sabi ng pilyong bahagi ng utak ko.But first i have to serve the purpose why we are here...
I slowly raised her chin to look at me. Without breaking an eye contact I let her eyes roam around the left side to see ---Victor and her woman!
I felt her heart beats erratically. Parang sasabog ang utak ko sa selos. Imagine Victor evoking such kind of emotion from my best friend? Badtrip talaga!
Biglang bumalik ang nagtatanong na tingin sa akin ni Ella. Nagpabalik balik sa aming dalawa ni Victor. Then I her her loud gasp.
Sinundan ko ng tingin ang tinitingnan nya and saw Victor and the head cheerleader making out passionately. Ouch! Ella's not supposed to see this!
I felt her hands tugged at my chest. Her loud gasp created the noise that alerted Victor and his company. Uh Oh.I'm screwed! Mukhang makikita pa ata nila kami!
I must not let them see Ella! A sudden wave of protectiveness came over me when I saw my bestfriend panicking. I knew what she was thinking. I also saw in her eyes the resignatiion to the fact na maaaring bukas ay laman na siya ng chismisan sa university. I can't let that happen!
Only one solution came to my mind to cover Ella.
I stooped down and kissed her.
I'm kissing my bestfriend!
Time stood still and seemed frozen while my lips touched hers. I just can't explain the feeling. I mean i've kissed many girls before her but kissing her now feels like the first time. For the first time I've known what it meant what they were saying in the movies about toe-curling sensation when you finally lip-locked with your one true love. Mushy I know.Pambakla lang but it actually felt like heaven talaga!
I cupped her chin gently to deepen the kiss. I slowly moved my lips and felt a groan escape my mouth. I kissed her gently. I was too afraid that this was just all a dream. That the moment I take one breath then she'd fade away.
She moved her lips. She parted her lips but i felt her hesitation to kiss back. I was worried that she will get mad with my audacity to kiss her and claim her precious first kiss. I know that she's probably confused right now as to the reason why I kissed her and i'm confused as well...
Why the heck did I kiss her like that? I just felt that this is the wrong place. I fantasized kissing Ella a lot during my free time but of all the places not here! What was I thinking?
But I just can't resist kissing her!
Her upturned face was just so inviting that I've thrown all caution to the wind. All barriers I have patiently built a long time ago just vanished into thin air the moment I saw her parted her lips innocently.
To hell with friendzone! I'll enjoy this moment now!
I kissed her with all the the tenderness that i wanted her to feel. I cupped her face gently and caressed her cheeks.
Her lips began to move. I was drawn back to reality that there's a big chance that my best friend will get mad at my actuations...I might lose her!
I stopped the kiss abruptly and ran my hands through my hair. I can't lose her now.
"I'm so sorry Ella I shouldn't have done that." Di tumitingin na sabi ko sa kanya.