M A N I K
I was always so tired. Mentally, physically, I just couldn't cope.
The bags under my eyes, simply couldn't hold the dreams I had. They're the reasons I preferred to stay awake. She's always in them, captured in my memory. Whenever I saw her in my world of dreams, we're okay and happy like we used to be. But sadly, it's not the same in real life. In reality, we hadn't spoken in months, let alone seeing each other. And everyday it had hurt more and more than yesterday.
How do I explain I always grieved for the loss of someone who wasn't even mine?
I hadn't slept the whole night; not because I left that stupid doctor alone on the street. I couldn't sleep because of not having Kiara in my arms. Like, always.
The doctor.
She was everything my Kiara wasn't and God, I hated her because of that. Kiara had this amazing red hair which instantly became my favourite colour while this doctor had thick, raven strands. Kiara was demanding while this doctor was a helper. Kiara at times, no all the times, was selfish whereas this doctor...well she's a doctor after all. My love, Kiara talked loudly not giving a damn to anything around whereas this doctor... Nandini seemed or at least, pretended to be soft. Kiara was everything a guy hated in a girl whereas I was smitten by every little thing she did.
She was my star.
Self depriving the sleep, I decided to stop by the Central Park. The sun streamed through the leaves of the tree, bathing me in gentle light and its reflection beamed on the bed of the lake water flowing slightly at the tender touch of wind. I was sitting under a large tree on the bench which was my usual spot on mornings after sleepless nights, before the huge serene lake, holding my brush and applying it on my canvas. I remembered how much she hated to sit still while I painted her. It literally was a struggle to me and she always settled after I promised her a good round of shopping; yet she did quit midway. I smiled at the flash of how she used to cringe her nose trying to break my concentration or strip off publicly knowing I'd immediately give up. She was something.
Kiara was looking beautiful in my sketch today. Her eyes came out perfect and those lips felt real. With the back of my fingers, I caressed her cheek wishing her to be there before me. I'd trade my heart and soul to get her back. Oh Lord, please.
"Oh my God! My favourite tattoo artist!" My eyes stilled at the brush in my hand which got motionless hearing someone cheer around.
The nervousness in my eyes were saying what I was dreading and I was dreading someone particular who particularly was the owner of such shrill voice. Please Lord tell me it's not her. Hesitant, I looked up slowly from my painting to the girl in blue tank top, jogging trousers paired with a bright pink warm jacket murmuring prayers under my breath.
Please
Please
Please
No...
My eyes travelled to the pretty neck and a headphone wrapping around it and as I dared to look up, I decided to give up praying.
Shit.
"You? Again?" I glared.
It was of no use since Doctor was already grinning like a moron. Why on earth couldn't she leave me alone? Was it so hard? She really pushed all my buttons knowing which actually kicked me to the edge but seeing her was good in a way because I got to know she at least wasn't murdered last night on the street.
"It's a free country which means I can roam anywhere I want." She grinned.
Somebody hit her on the face.
"And in this entire free country how do you always manage to find me only?" I shook my head in negation.
"Seriously?" She raised her brows. "No, I'm asking you, on a scale of one to ten how bad it is for you to come across me?" I exhaled fixing Kiara's hair with my pencil.
"A hundred. Definitely." I scoffed not sparing a glance at her.
"Aww" She laughed and I said no more. How could someone be so fucking energetic so early in the morning!
I decided to absolutely repudiate her presence and concentrate on the canvas between us. To my horror, she seated herself on the bench bang opposite of mine and I disliked her more knowing she purposely was screwing up my already worn out morning. She opened some novel and placed it safe on her lap; gluing her eyes to its content taking pride in the fact that she was blocking my marvellous view of the serene lake. This girl needed help on a very serious note.
"Why the fuck are you so obsessed with me? Don't tell me in the entire fucking park you got only this bench to rest your pretty little ass!" I dug my nail on the brush.
"...." she stared blankly.
"..What?" I questioned.
"You called my ass pretty?" God, she just twisted my words.
"Is that what you picked out of my entire sentence?" I rolled my eyes. "And for the record, no, I called your ass little."
"Yes, in addition to pretty." She beamed.
"No-I meant. Tch, you're missing the point here. I meant,.. forget it." I shrugged, huffing and she continued reading.
My eyes constantly flickered between her and my canvas, maybe because the fact that the girl I disliked to the core was right before my eyes was quite unsettling at that moment. I just didn't know why just because she was sat opposite me, I couldn't help but get distracted from completing Kiara's perfect painting. I took in some deep breath because I knew it'd require me a lot of stamina for what I was going to do.
"No seriously, can you consider sitting somewhere else?" I asked her decently since this was the only unturned stone.
She lifted her face from the pages gliding down the headphones down to her neck and smiled politely. Good. Maybe this would work.
"Are you Donald Trump?" My jaw clenched reflexively.
"Can you answer my question, please?" I added please.
"I may, if you answer mine." I exhaled looking around in frustration.
"This is the thin line of my patience you are tiptoeing on." I warned.
"I don't mind ballet even. But anyway, are you any member of the department of public safety because as far as my knowledge permits, this park is city property and thus its public. Did my question answer your question?" I shot few daggers at her with my eyes biting my lower lip. She could have answered with a simple no considering the stubborn head she was.
"But you are blocking my view?" My voice rose a little louder.
"Nice." She smirked. "Then you shift." Lifting the book to her chest, she started reading biting her lower lip in order to prevent her laughter. Stupid doll-face.
She wasn't going to move away then why would I? It was my spot and if because of her I shifted to any other spot she'd take it as her victory or the fact that her clinginess effected me or shits like that.
"I guess you haven't learned your lesson last night correctly. You know, the only reason I'm being little less harsh on you is because you are a girl. Don't test my patience. Don't even think I'll tolerate you here because this isn't my studio and I have nothing to lose." I threatened darkly.
She stared up at me from her pages and narrowed her eyes to read my moving lips simply because her ears were exploding with music from her headphones. After I finished, she pushed her headphones to her neck twitching her lips in irritation. Did she even understand a word I said?
"Tch. I don't think we are going to get along well because you have this weird habit of interrupting my music and I hate it." She frowned.
"Excuse me, what? Get along? Who do you think we are, two pals meeting via tinder?" My eyes widened. "And most imp..."
"Shh, hold it! My favourite song is coming up!" She squeaked putting her headphones back excitedly and suddenly, I felt myself like a fucking idiot for expressionlessly gaping at her.
I grasped that dissipating any more word on her would mean drainage of my limited energy. Bringing myself back to my canvas, I decided to let my eyes focus only and only on the surreal beauty flaunted on the canvas of my dreams.
Time perhaps was flowing like that water on the lake in a strange way because I didn't discern that it was already twenty minutes that I was absorbed in brushing the corner of her eyes. I didn't even know if that psycho doctor was still there ever ready to get on my nerves or vanished from sight. I didn't want to stay but I didn't want to leave either. Guess, I had no choice.
Speak of the devil, slowly as I looked up to avoid any eye contact in case she's still there, my eyes were actually welcomed by hers .. but the not way I would've thought. She was curious but at the same time blank as her eyes scanned me as if she caught me stealing her medical degree.
"....what..?" I asked cautiously.
"Suddenly I have started to feel self conscious." She replied unsure.
"And why is that?" Could you stop asking her questions, Manik? She's anyway gonna answer.
"Why are your eyes persistently flapping between your canvas and me?" She tapped on her iPhone turning the music off.
"Your point?" I sucked some air in prophesy of her naivety. "And, do answer in simple words."
She inhaled. "Are you painting me?"
What? How on earth could this thought strike her mind even?
"You can't be serious." I chuckled at her.
I wanted to say I hated her but hate was a strong word to be used but right then, it seemed to be the correct one to be used also.
"I mean, I don't mind you painting me and earning lacks through exhibitions but at the same time you shouldn't take advantage of my innocence." I raised my brows.
"Innocence is the fucking kindest word one can use on a schematic person like you." I miffed.
"Maybe" she shrugged "But I need to see how you are painting me." She advanced steadily to me dropping her book on the bench. What.
"Fucking no!" I screeched and few aged joggers passed me nasty glares.
"Don't you swear and destroy morning peace for people around. And..you..let me see." She tried grabbing the paper on my canvas jumping here and there while I jerked away her hands fixing the paper with one extra clip.
"Get away, Doctor. God, you are so nosy." I kept pushing her efforts away.
"Let me see, will you?" She kept removing my hands by digging her murderous nails on my skin. Ouch, that hurt.
"I'm not painting you, do you hear me?" My fingers were already red and her energy hiking up.
"How am I to believe unless you show me?" In such hustle, all my kit scattered on the grass but still she didn't stop grabbing the paper and I dissing her efforts. I tried keeping my rage under my control until she mistakenly tore one corner of the paper. She torn Kiara's sketch. She really did.
"Enough!" I shouted and she had to take a step back while loose strands freeing out of her ponytail flew on her face. "You really want to see, right? I'll show you the place where you exactly belong to." Saying no more, I threw away the pencil in my hand on the bench which toppled over the grass and grabbed her wrist; dragging her after me. All that was to be said was already done.
N A N D I N I
"Excuse me? Where the hell are you hauling me to? Leave my hand!" I twisted, jerked, applied great effort to free my reddened wrist but everything was of no use. He was like a mad horse who just broke out of his stable.
I looked around and lowered my head in embarrassment when people gawked us and some of them were people I had to see everyday in my neighbourhood. Some cared and I could say by the curious look on their faces while most others ignored continuing with their daily routines. I slapped his bicep with my other hand a couple of times but he was fuming in wrath to feel the slaps I showered upon him.
"Are you even listening?" I tried tugging my hand out of his gripe but it only caused me pain. I knew I'd get a soreness soon but I swear I was just trying to play a little with him not apprehending that it'd piss him to the core. Was it too late to apologise? I think it was.
"I'm asking you to leave my hand for the last time." I shouted feeling blood rushing to my head in resentment.
His dragging me came to an end when we halted by the lake where the sunlight was shining brightly on us. He dropped my hand harshly with a bitter expression on his face and swiftly, I drew back my pained wrist caressing it with care.
"Are you out of your mind?" I yelled. "What do you think you were doing? Do I look like a sack of money to you that you were hauling me to your home? Stupid." My wrist really ached.
"Shut up." I blinked my eyes at the intensity. "You know what, I know girls like you and I exactly know your crisis." I gazed a little perplexed at him finding his knuckles white as they balled up compactly.
"Do you think you've answer to everything in this world? Well then, why don't you just enlighten me what could the crisis of girls like me be?" I quoted the last part up in the air. I was huffing having had loads of humiliation from this particular man in such short span. Taunting me, dissing me, ignoring me were all okay but tugging me... absolutely not.
"Girls like you have no life. No, seriously. You feed on other peoples' crisis and their stories because clearly you don't have a life of your own." He vexed.
"Fancy. Kindly continue." I glared speaking with a bitter smile. My words infuriated him all the more as the veins in his eyes turned bloody.
"I'm sure from your young age you have been utterly devoid of your own life or you might have been bullied badly because of your geekiness. You have been made fun of, avoided, neglected or better, you had been a duff." I rolled my eyes feeling my heart race. "That was the time when you decided to permanently hide yourself behind your thick books so that no one could know you are a halfwit because I can bet nobody could get along with you even for a single bloody second. You grew into a pampered darling at home, a perfect Daddy's princess with no life who thought, so what if I don't fit in into any group, I can still choose a profession where I can continue being nosy as fuck because simply I don't have anything to do with my boring days and dry nights. So I can still creep on handsome guys and give it a civil name that society widely accepts, a Psychiatrist because I'm just a pain in the ass. You are here to solve people's love lives when I'm sure not a single guy ever loved you and even if there's some dimwit out there, I'm sure that didn't last long for more than..what.. two months?"
I gulped shifting my glowering away from his face to the ground. The headphones were clutched so tightly with my fingers, that they bent losing their perfect shape. He really didn't need to go there and hurt me to this extent when all I was trying to do was help him. Cure him. For whose benefit? Doesn't matter.
"Don't-don't go there." I spelt clearly keeping my eyes low but in reality, I wanted to rip apart every single cell in his body.
"Ohhhh.." he crooned. "Did I hit a spot? So there was someone? Bloody lucky guy that he saved his ass." He chuckled uncontrollably and evilly and I suffered to keep breathing without killing any of us.
"I said don't go there. You want to insult me, right? Say anything you'd want to my face but not anything you don't know how it hurts." Tear slipped from my eye and I looked away wiping it off quickly.
"I will exactly go there, Princess because you touch the spot in people where it hurts the most." He scowled.
"Sooo..the Doctor too had a past? Let me imagine. Hell, this is scary but I really want to. Who he might have been? A perfect good guy.. but no, geeks like you always fall for the bad guys, right? A stupid frat boy with lots of tattoos and piercings who was officially the 'bad boy' of your school or college or whatever. It felt like a dream with him when after all those lonely years you started getting a little bit of attention and that too from a boy, didn't it? .. Haww." He palmed his face dramatically widening his eyes while I stood there sobbing in my heart.
"Are you done?" I spoke a little softer because my voice was shaky and I knew that came out obvious. He took a step closer and staying alert, I gaped at the distance between us.
"So how did the bad boy break your heart healer's heart, mmm?" He asked, his arms crossed across his chest and his face towering over mine. I looked around tearfully praying to my Lord to give me a little more strength for some more time.
"Was it a bait? Because girls like you are not meant for longtime relationships, you see." I tried swallowing but my mouth was dry.
"You make no sense. Get away." Making my way, I started to walk away up till he got hold of my wrist not allowing me to leave. Why was he doing this? I could take no more.
"Or...," he stepped back angularly to study the side of my face while I kept my eyes on the Sun knowing I'd be blind soon for some good amount of time but not for a second even, I did flinch my eyes because the pain he inflicted upon me being a stranger was much more than what was caused upon my orbs. Wish I could get deaf.
"Did you catch him making out with your best friend?" It was my roommate who I trusted more than my life. He smirked as I closed my eyes removing my wrist out of his grip.
"Are you now satisfied?" Breathing in deeply, I turned to him which obviously confused him finding me not bowling my eyes out kneeling down on my knees before him. "Done with your bullshit or is there anything left to come out of that drain?"
He sucked a sharp breath and clutched my shoulder making me stand closer in order to look him in the eye. So, I did although it was a rare occurrence that I was holding my strong till then but I knew breaking apart would mean nothing before this heartless.
"You didn't say that." His nose flared and his face was blood red.
"I can repeat if you want me to." I challenged although the edges of my heart were cracking apart in pain of words he uttered.
"No wonder he cheated on you. I'm sure you didn't give it to him rightly and that was why he had to taste your best friend. Or or or, he threw you away after sucking the life out of you." My mouth fell open for the way he spoke to me and the words he chose. I didn't hate him, I was hurt and Manik Malhotra had hurt me without having any right to.
I didn't think I could continue being that strong girl anymore even after all that I tried to do was be there for him. What was my fault? This, that I tried to make him happy all over again I heard the way he was before? Or, this that I wanted to drag him out of his world of pain? But what sort of reward was it to cause pain to your curer? This wasn't something I signed up for and thus I did something I never thought I'd do in a million years. My whole body trembled with anger and shame which was solely caused by this man snickering wickedly at me and that was the moment I lost it when ...
I pushed Manik Malhotra into the lake without thinking anything.
And then, I facepalmed realising what I did.
A/N- Okay, I officially love these two now.
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