You guys will think I'm overreacting, but ever since things had kind of fixed up with my parents I felt like something had started to rot. They had a talk with me, saying that they wanted things to be better between us, and so they said that before winter break we'd spend a couple weeks in London. They had some business going on there, and they wanted to take me to share a little family time. Me? Well I wasn't too excited but come on people, it was London. Sure as hell I was in that trip. And right after that, I'd have a couple days to relax during winter break in my comfortable cabin in the mountains.
Still it wasn't all that bad. The relationship was working, we were getting along, and that kept Paul happy. He knew how much this meant to me, even when I wouldn't admit it to myself. Hell that man knows me better than myself, or that's what he claims at least. We had really gotten to bond in this year and a half, and I couldn't imagine breaking apart from him when I finish high school. I shook my head to scare those thoughts that threatened with the impending end of all things really soon. I still had a lot of time to enjoy high school, so why to bother? I could still enjoy hanging out with my best friends, relaxing and talking about private stuff only we could understand. There was a specific topic I had in mind, but I still couldn't find the right words to bring my question to them. It'd eventually come out, so I didn't worry about it too much.
"Yes mom, I got to Valerie's safely" I replied to the phone as my best friend opened the door and lead me inside. I rolled my eyes at her to cue her how I felt about my parents being a pain on the ass. I tried my best to resist the urge to snap at my mom for being so annoying, but I had promised to myself I'd show myself patient with them. Nobody ever told me it'd be this hard though. "Yeah I'll meet you guys at dinner. See you later"I said and quickly hung up the phone, fearing my mom could go on for hours like that.
"So, how are things going?" Jazz smirked at my exhausted expression.
"Worse before it gets any better. They call me all day long" I admitted to the snickering faces in front of me. I guess they were more used to having concerned parents, so I just had to ask. "Do your parents really bother you this much?" I said hoping the answer would be a no, that only my parents can become such worrywarts in a couple of days.
"Having parents it's not easy. Believe me" Valerie said with an eye roll, probably going through her head all the times her parents had been on her back, telling her to get home early, brush her teeth, eat healthy... there's so much stuff parents can be annoying about.
We plopped ourselves in the couches around the tv but never laid eyes on it. It was just noise in case our conversation turns quiet at some point. Or maybe it was just the habit, I don't know. I picked at my cuticles while I continued with the previous topic, with my girls relaxing right next to me. School could be exhausting, especially when you leave all your homework for the last minute like me.
"Yeah well, it's not like they tell me what to do or anything. Paul's still in charge of that department" I exhaled loudly while combing my hair backwards, growing tired by the second. "It's nice that they're paying a little more attention to me anyways. We'll have to see how long that goes on" I said showing myself skeptical to my parents attitude.
"Have a little faith. You don't lose anything with spending a little time with them" Jazz said and I found some logic in her words. I didn't have to do much for this relationship to work, just hang in there and do my best not to get bitchy with them. That should be enough.
"Meh I guess. They've been bugging me all morning about a 'family dinner' tonight" I said making quote marks as I showed myself more annoyed than excited for tonight plans. Family time wasn't exactly on my to do list, but now it was unavoidable.
"Ooh. Maybe they want to talk about your trip to London" Valerie elbowed me while wiggling her eyebrows to me, a spark present in her eyes. They both had been bouncing on the walls ever since I told them my parents had planned to spend a few weeks in London and I was invited to join them. Just for a week or so, because I had school and Paul wouldn't have me ditching for so long. Stupid responsible teacher.
"It's the only good news that have ever come out of their mouths" I said and laughed knowing I had been a little too mean. But neither my parents or Paul were present, so I could release some bitchy tension without the risks of being punished... by the latest obviously.
I took a second to think just how crazy my life actually was. I went from having lazy parents and no one to count, to have a lame teacher trying to tell me what to do nicely, to have a badass teacher I hated, to having a warm friend to lean on and who meddled so much in my life that he actually got my parents to be better. I think he deserves a Nobel prize if you ask me, I don't know what you guys think about it. Just in that moment I received a control call from Paul, asking me how where things and what I was up to. Seriously I didn't have enough hands to take so many calls from worried people, but I prefered to pick up Paul's. Even when he was bossy, he was caring and always understood what I was going through. I had started to think he was my rock that kept my feet on the ground these days.
I arrived home just in time for dinner to avoid small talk with anyone. The house service had prepared a delicious dinner and had it served the second I sat down in the huge dining room we had but rarely used. My parents were awfully quiet at first, which caused a bad feeling to settle in my stomach, since they usually are unanimously chatting between themselves about work and stuff. I didn't say anything though, since I actually appreciated the silence one in a while. That was... until my mom decided to say what they had meant to tell me for a while now.
One would have thought I'd react angrily at the news, that I'd slam doors and scream profanities to my parents before locking myself in my bedroom like any teenager in my position would do, but I was unable to do so. The news had shocked me so badly all I attempted to do was to slowly rise from my seat and walk quietly out of the fancy dining room and up the stairs, counting the steps in my head before shutting my door quietly behind me.
For hours I stared into nothing locked inside the four walls of my bedroom, who seemed to be closing up against me, trapping me forever. For a moment, I wished that. I squeezed my eyes shut as hard as I could and wished with all my might that I could just freeze time for a moment to give me a break of all the thoughts that were running aimlessly inside my head making it hurt. My brain worked really hard to process what was going on and when it did, my heart simply shattered.
I had finally found the source of the rotting smell.
I decided I couldn't wait any longer to tell my friends, so I called Valerie and Jazz for a last minute emergency gathering. In normal circumstances, I would have offered my place, but this was anything but normal and I was desperate to get out. I felt like an angry tiger in a jail, pacing around my big bedroom while waiting for the other two to reply. Not 2 minutes later, they answered we'd be gathering in Valerie's place. I collected everything I needed to spend the night at my friend's place, took my car keys and left without saying goodbye. I could hardly even look at my parents, much less live under the same roof anymore. I drove as fast as I could and barely touched the break a few necessary times until I reached destination. If only I could escape from this life in a RUF CTR. Once I walked into Valerie's house and greeted their parents, we walked upstairs and locked the three of us inside her bedroom. To say I was awfully quiet was an understatement. Still my girls knew me better, so they contented themselves with chatting among themselves, patiently waiting for me to decide if I was going to be part of the conversation or not. For the moment, just being around them made me feel at ease, but the horrendous feeling of that not being viable anymore made my stomach twist painfully and my eyes pool with stinging tears.
I knew they were looking at me, expecting me to say something. I knew the anxiety and the tension was killing them, so I gathered up all my strengths to say what I had rounded up my girls to say. Slowly but determined, I let out my breath and the dreaded words came out as well.
"I'm not coming back from London. I'm moving there" I said as the rage that my parents stunt produced me rolled through my tongue and poisoned my words.
Silence followed my sentence like the abism follows a final point. There was nothing. Nothing to think, nothing to do... only sadness due to my departure. For a moment it felt like the three of us were caught up in a dream, but let's face it this was not the Inception movie.
"Jessie tell us this is not real" Valerie said as all hints of excitement for my trip abandoned her voice quickly. My very soul had abandoned my body for a second and I felt like I was floating in the air. Soon enough I had to get down of that cloud though.
"I'm sorry" I said as the very first tears dropped across my cheeks and I simply broke down. I felt everything was crumbling down around me. The walls, the roof, the floor, my life... everything was falling apart.
My two best friends soon embraced me in a much needed hug and together we cried our frustrations together. We had been inseparable for over eight years and it made me sick to my stomach the thought of leaving them, especially when nobody had asked me what I thought about it or what I wanted to do.
"There's got to be a way around this. Talk to your parents to let you stay" Jazz practically begged me with that face you simply could not tell no to.
"Trust me, I've tried. But they're really into this, they said they weren't going to back down!" I shouted frustrated with these people that seemed nothing but to want to ruin my life.
"This is so fucked up. I mean London" Jazz raged as she covered her face with her hands to even her erratic breathing.
"What are we going to do?" Valerie said as I shrugged my shoulders in responde, all hope gone of my eyes. I had never felt so helpless in my entire life.
I started thinking about all the people I wouldn't see again in my life. All my classmates, and my team... and Nick and Mike, and Carl I'd miss too. How do I tell them all that I'll be moving out of the country, across the sea? And my boyfriend...
Fuck. How do I tell Jason?
Our story had always been complicated. We started off being friends, then we figured out we had feelings for each other, however Jason had a girlfriend (that bitch Kat). Then we're together, then apart, then I start dating someone until Jason tells me he wants to take another try with us, and how to say no to the boy I'm mad about since day one? And now fate tried to tear us apart apart once more, this time permanently for sure. I'd never see those gorgeous eyes again, and I wouldn't hear his every morning morning greet at school. I wouldn't have the chance to... you know. Clearly there was no way in this world I'd ever find the right words to tell my boyfriend I'd be forcefully leaving him. Especially due to so despicable people like my parents. Hell, I know Paul won't think of them so high after this.
Fuck. How do I tell Paul?
The next day I rose grey. I had yet to speak a word to my parents and them to me, and I knew people would wonder soon what had me in such a sore mood lately, especially Paul. He simply never stops noticing, does he? He probably already knew something was up, but he always give me a little time to come forwards myself. Needless to say, that rarely ever happens.
That day I spent most of the time drawing on my table, not lifting my look once from my scribbles. Jason right next to me had intended to ask me what was going on, but lucky for me Valerie had intervene saying I wasn't in the mood to speak, not even to tell him so. He showed himself comprehensive, yet the worried expression never left his face. He placed a gentle hand on my thigh and kept it there until class was over in a reassuring way. When everyone got up to leave, I was asked if I'd follow them but I truly wasn't in the mood for lunch. And so, my two best friends stayed back with me until I decide to get up or a teacher walks in here to kick us out of the room.
"Come on Jessie, we gotta go. You can't stay here forever" Valerie tried to convince me to move but I'd have none of it. I rested my forehead on my folded arms willing to stay there until someone drags me out by my hair.
"Guys I know this sucks but... I have a great idea" Jazz announced cheerfully, causing me to place an unconvinced look upon her. I was so not in the mood.
"What?" I said knowing I had no choice but to listen to her.
"I know we can't help Jessie from going to London, but I figured we could do something to seal our friendship. I mean, being an only child, you're practically sisters to me" she said causing a knot to form down my throat. Jazz was a weird girl, but I'd sure miss her cheerful self everyday of my life. Sisters.
"What would that be?" Valerie asked and Jazz leaned forward to whisper, not without taking a glance or two over her shoulder. She was a girl that just loved to be in the spotlight, and if we let her she'd spend hours going around the bushes. Unfortunately, we only had a few minutes before someone found us there.
"We can get a tattoo together" she said adapting a mysterious demeanor as she laid down her cards on the table.
I took a couple minutes to consider it. The idea sounded great, and to be honest I've always felt attraction for tattoos. Ever since I was 14 I had wanted to get one, but somehow I had kicked the idea again and again. And now, since school forbids any kind of tattoos, visible or not, that had just stayed that... an idea. In a couple weeks I'd be leaving, so I could say screw you to the institution rules and finally do whatever that pleases me to do without consequences. Paul would have none of it, especially since I haven't said a word about moving out yet, so this would have to be a secret. It wouldn't last forever, but it could last long enough for me to be out of the country. Paul can't catch me there, right?
"It's not gonna change much, but it is in my bucket list and I'd love to do it with you" I said with a smirk as Valerie joined us as well. It seemed like the thought of it excited her as well.
"Guys Paul can't know. Which means that Mike and Nick cannot know either" Valerie added her two cents to the plan.
"Which means, we simply don't tell anyone. It'll be our secret" I settled on and they nodded in agreement, sealing our plan. It was true that they wouldn't delay a second to rat us out with Paul, so we better kept this from the team. It wouldn't do us any good.
We got up and gathered up our stuff to leave before someone comes into the classroom and find us there. For the first time since yesterday, I thought this wouldn't be that bad after all. Sure it'll be awful later, but for now I had a last plan with my girls and it was going to be a success. I did my best to keep my mind focused on that.
"I bet Matt will find out" Jazz said suggestively and dodged a cuff on the head from Valerie while chuckling. "And Jason too" she added with a smirk.
"And everyone in twelve grade" I snapped back but she showed herself unimpressed. She poked her tongue out to me and continued with her way.
I smirked at her antics. I was really going to miss her, and every second that passed I understood just how much my life was going to change. It sucked to be helpless, it really, really sucked. But I had time to figure out a way to convince my parents to let me stay, and in the meantime I'd enjoy trouble like I've never enjoyed it before. School can kiss my ass if I'm not coming back here ever. It sucked for Paul but I knew that not even him would give a damn about school rules or my parents when I tell him the latest news. I just wasn't ready yet, but eventually I'd have to tell him the truth.
To keep this from everyone, including the three eagles... that sure sounded appealing for me. One last plan, and it had to be a success.