A Scotsman and an Little Johnny lived next door to each other.
The Scotsman owned a hen and each morning he would look in his garden and pick up one of his hen's eggs for breakfast.
One day he looked into his garden and saw that the hen had laid an egg in the Little Hohnny's garden. He was about to go next door when he saw the Johnny pick up the egg.
The Scotsman ran up to the Johnny and told him that the egg belonged to him because he owned the hen.
Johnnyn disagreed because the egg was laid on his property.
They argued for a while until finally the Scotsman said, "In my family we normally solve disputes by the following actions: I kick you in the testicles and time how long it takes for you to get back up. Then you kick me in the testicles and time how long it takes for me to get up. Whoever gets up quicker wins the egg."
Johnny agreed to this and so the Scotsman put on the heaviest pair of boots he could find. He took a few steps back, then ran toward Johnny and kicked him as hard as he could in the testicles.
Johnny fell to the floor clutching his groin, howling in agony for 30 minutes.
Eventually Johnny stood up and said, "Now it's my turn to kick you."
The Scotsman smiled and said, "Ye can keep the damn egg!!"