Levi leaned back in his seat. He wanted to talk more about me and wanted me to open up. However, he knew that I wouldn't talk. "Réngrán gùzhí, (Still stubborn,)" he teased. "Wǒ hěn gāoxìng yǒuxiē shìqíng zài wǒ líkāi shí méiyǒu gǎibiàn. (I am glad some things hadn't changed when I was gone.)" He took hold of his tea and drank from it.
I was going to follow only to have my grandmother smack my hand. "Grams," I said, rubbing my wrist. "What was that for?"
"Your tea is cold," she replied. "You took too long to drink it." She placed another cup in front of me and poured some more tea. "Drink that."
I scowled and did what she said. I closed my eyes and let the warmth of it fill me. I opened my eyes and saw Levi stare at me, a wave of emotions going through them.
He looked down at his cup and rubbed the rim of it with his thumb. "Tāmen hèn wǒ, (They hate me,)" he said. His voice cracked, and I could tell that he was tired. He was tired of everything, and I didn't know how I could help. "Wǒ shì yīgè zāogāo de ā'ěrfǎ. (I am a bad Alpha.)"
I snorted and rolled my eyes. "They do not hate you," I said. "And, you are not a bad Alpha."
"Wǒ huì shāle tāmen, Lexi, (I am going to kill them, Lexi,)" he said. "Wǒ wúfǎ kòngzhì tā xiǎng yào wǒ zuò shénme. Wǒ - wǒ wúfǎ duìkàng tā. Wǒ wúfǎ duìkàng mìnglìng. (I-I can't fight it. I can't fight the command.)" He looked down at his hands to see them shaking. A single tear fell from his eye, and it broke my heart. "Wǒ bùgòu qiángdà. (I am not strong enough.)"
"You're right," I said. "You are not strong enough, not alone." I took his face in my hand and wiped the tear from his eye. "But you are not alone." I stared into those blue eyes as he placed his hand on mine. "You have the pack behind you and our allies."
"Wǒmen...... Méiyǒu rènhé méngyǒu, (We... don't have any allies,)" Levi said. "Wǒ, tā, bǎ tāmen jiào diào. Jìdé? (I, well he, called them off. Remember?)" He moved his hand across mine, the sparks appearing again. "Měi gèrén dōu hěn shēngqì, bìng shìtú jǐnggào wǒ, wǒmen zuò zài méiyǒu tāmen de yāzi. (Everyone was pissed and tried to warn me that we were sitting ducks without them.)" He furrowed his brows in confusion. "Nike méiyǒu shēngqì. (Nike wasn't pissed.)"
I raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean that Nike wasn't pissed? You "called off" the alliances."
Levi shrugged and gave me a weird look. He didn't understand why I had said, "called off," but I didn't care. He didn't need to know. "Tā xiàole qǐlái, jiào wǒ yīgè gōngjī. (He laughed and called me a cock muncher.)"
My grandmother almost choked on her drink, and we looked at her. She set her cup down and cleared her throat. "Sorry, sorry," she said. "It was just funny." She got up from the table and went to the sink, chuckling and muttering "cock muncher."
Levi took my hand off of his cheek and clutched it. He looked at me, and I could tell that he was suspicious of me. "Nǐ yǒu shé me yào gēn tā dǎ diànhuà gěi wǒ yīgè gōngjī ma? (Did you have anything to do with him calling me a cock muncher?)"
"I do not have anything to do with the fact that Nike called you a "cock muncher,"" I replied. "I don't even know why he would say that."
Levi sighed and moved a hand through his hair. He looked older than the man that I loved, but I understood it too. The weight of the pack laid on his shoulders, and it made him feel older.
It felt the same way with me. Not only did I have weight the pack on my shoulders, but I also had the weight of the Werewolf population.
If we fell, then... the packs would fall one by one until none was left. We were the strongest pack and had the strongest Warriors. We were second to the King's pack, but they had to be strong to take care of the king.
"Wǒ gāi zěnme zuò, Lex? (What am I going to do, Lex?)" he asked, looking at me. Defeat filled his eyes, and I hated seeing the haunted look in his eyes.
"Not give up," I replied. "That is what you are going to do."
"Bāo jiāng huì sǐwáng. (The pack is going to die.)"
"The pack isn't going to die."
"Shì tāmen huì. (Yes, they will.)"
"How?"
"Tāmen bǎ wǒ zhuā zài shǒuzhōng. Wǒ wúfǎ bǎituō tā, Lex. Wǒ jiāng chéngwéi yīgè shā sǐ bèibāo de rén. (They have me in their grasps. I can't break free from it, Lex. I am going to be the one that kills the pack.)"
I shook my head. "They have a part of you, Levi," I said. "They don't have all of you. You are free in the evenings to do what you want."
"Shì de, shéi míngbái? (Yes, and who to understand?)" Levi asked. "Wéiyī lǐjiě wǒ de rén shì nǐ hé nǐ de zǔmǔ. (The only people that understand me is you and your grandmother.)"
"And, that'll be enough for now," I said. I looked at the cup and took a sip from it. "The spell can't last long. There is always a way to end one."
"Zài nà zhīqián zhège bāo jiāng huì sǐ diào, (And the pack is going to be dead before then,)" Levi said. "Wǒ zhīdào tāmen hé tā huì yíng. Nǐ yīnggāi pànduàn - (I know that they, and he, will win. You should jus-)" His face went to the side, and there was this small crack that resonated around the room.
I was standing over him, clutching my hand into a fist. Anger surged through me, and I had no idea that I had slapped him until I was standing over him.
Levi touched his mouth and stared up at me in shock. "Nǐ zhǐshì dǎ wǒ, (You just hit me,)" he said. He touched his jaw again and grunted out in pain. "Wèishéme? (Why?)"
"Because you were going to tell me to kill you," I said, my voice shaking with anger. "Do you know how much damage that would cause me? Cause the pack?"
"Nǐ zài méiyǒu wǒ de qíngkuàng xià xìngcúnle liǎng nián, (You survived two years without me,)" Levi said, sounding bitter. "Nǐ huì hǎo qǐlái de. (You will be fine.)"
I shook my head and walked toward the door that hid the living room and the pack. I stared at my reflection and his. "I knew that you were alive, or I had a feeling that you were alive," I said. I searched my face, trying not to cry. A tear fell down my cheek, and I knew that it would be a shock for the pack to see it. They never saw me cry, and I knew that they had never seen Levi cry either. Today was full of surprises. "That is why I kept fighting." I looked down, my hair moving in front of my face. "I will not be fine if you die, or you are killed."
He moved behind me, his warmth covering me in waves. "Nǐ xiǎng fàngqì ma? (Did you want to give up?)" he asked, and I nodded. "Dàn nǐ méiyǒu. Wèishéme? (But you didn't. Why?)"
"Hope," I replied. "You brought me hope."
Levi sighed and turned me to face him. He tucked the hair back behind my ear and stared into my eyes. His jaw was a little bruised, and I knew that it was because I had slapped him hard. "Nǐ huì jìxù zhàndòu ma? (Will you keep fighting?)" he asked. "Wèile wǒmen? Duìyú bāo? (For us? For the pack?)"
I nodded my head. I swore that I would keep them alive until Levi was back, or we got word of his death. I would fight for them afterward, but I knew, and they knew that the depression would end my life.
"Ránhòu, wǒ huì jìxù zhàndòu, (Then, I will keep fighting,)" Levi said. He placed his arms across my back, and I placed my arms around his neck. "Wǒ bùxiǎng ràng tāmen zhīdào zhè jiàn shì. (I don't want them to know about this.)" He didn't want the other side of him to know that the pack knew he was being controlled. "Wǒ xīwàng tāmen zhīdào wǒ hěn bàoqiàn wǒ huì jìnlì dǎjí zǔzhòu. (I want them to know that I am sorry and that I will try to fight the curse.)"
"There is no try," my grandmother said. "There is only do."
We both looked at her and scowled.
My grandmother had a cup of tea in her hands, and she looked up at us. "What?" she asked, shrugging her shoulder. She took a sip of her tea and smiled. "I am just enjoying my cup of tea."
Levi looked back at me and sighed. Deep longing filled his eyes, and I could tell that he wanted to stay with me. However, we both knew that he couldn't. "Wǒ dé zǒule, (I have to go,)" he said.
I nodded my head, my throat closing. I hated that we were going to have to leave each other, but I had a feeling that one day, we wouldn't have to. "I know," I said, my voice barely above a whisper.
Levi pecked my lips and started to back away from me. He kept his hands on me until we were only clutching hands. "Wǒ míngtiān huìjiàn dào nǐ, Lex, (I will see you tomorrow, Lex,)" he said.
I nodded my head, letting a small smile flicker on my lips. "I'll see you tomorrow, Lev."
He smiled again before taking his hand out of mine. "Grams," he said, looking at my grandmother.
"Levi," she replied. "Don't be a stranger."
Levi nodded his head. He grabbed his shirt and left, not looking back.
My heart broke in two, and I shakily moved to the table. I sat down on the chair and was pulled into a hug by my grandmother. And, for the first time in years, I let myself cry. I didn't care that members of the pack were staring at me. I didn't care if they thought that I was weak. I needed to cry, just as much as I needed him.