The Magical Fountain of Resolve
How did she have the audacity to show up here when Wes was in hospital because of her? My anger was suddenly directed away from Room 213 to Renee. Who had the heart to cause such a drift between two brothers? Part of me wondered about what Jordan had said- that this wasn't the first time Wes and Mason had fought. Renee and Wes had dated once. Was the last fight about Renee too? This was all her fault. Wes and I wouldn't be fighting either if it hadn't been for her.
No, that's wasn't fair. The last part wasn't her fault. The position I was in right now- well, that was all my fault. Wes didn't want to be with me for the way I had dealt with our problems, regardless if they had been Renee or not.
"Kitty?" Renee rolled down her window and peered at me from over the glass window.
I raised an eyebrow at her. She indicated to the passenger seat next to her. She wanted me to get into the car? Was she crazy as well as a home-wrecker?
"Please?" The way she looked at me pleadingly- there was something in her eyes, something sad, that made me open that car door and sit beside her.
"I'm sorry," she didn't meet my eyes, instead she kept facing forward, not wanting to face me.
"You should be," somehow, I couldn't bring myself to build up the venom in my voice that I had envisioned myself on using if I were to ever run into her. Instead, it remained at the back of my throat, burning me instead.
"I was there when they fought," her voice was constricted. "It all happened so suddenly. I was talking to Mase, I told him that I was leaving and h-he got so mad. He went straight to Wes and I- I couldn't stop them. I didn't mean for it to get this far."
As much as I wanted to, I couldn't bring myself to hate her. She sat so vulnerable and broken in front of me- not the elegantly poised girl that I saw at dinners.
"So it isn't Wes' fault that you're leaving?" I asked her.
"No, it's not," She looked at me in surprise. "For years, my life has always been mixed with the Bane family. And I can't do it anymore. I feel so caged."
"How so?" I asked her. How was she the one feeling caged when she had caused two brothers to fight over her?
"Because when you date two brothers, the whole world expects you to end up with either one or the other. No one ever thinks that there's another choice out there. What if I wanted to meet someone else? Experience something else?"
In a very deluded sense, I could actually understand what she meant. I couldn't even begin to comprehend the convolutions of her mind, but in some twisted way, she somehow managed to make sense.
"For years, I was confused. I didn't know what I wanted because I always had to choose between Mase or Wes that I never even got a chance to choose me- to see who I really am. But I want to do that now."
"Did you tell Mase this?" I asked her.
"I did, but he can't seem to understand that I want to do this for me," she sighed sadly. "He still thinks I'm hung up over Wes."
"And are you?" I asked sceptically. Even though I was no longer his girlfriend, I still felt territorial.
"Mase and Wes are very very different. Being with Wes was fun and light- it was the teenage crush I dreamed for. But Mase was exciting and daring. He was the adult relationship I was looking for. But between swapping a boy for a man, I never developed into the woman I wanted to be."
She didn't answer my question and I knew she had carefully steered clear of it.
"Then this is your chance," suddenly, somehow I found myself comforting her. "Wes will be okay, nothing bad really happened to him besides a few scratches he can survive with."
"I'm glad," she sighed a breath of relief, looking up at the ceiling of the car as though she had been praying for him. It was then that I noticed the back of the car was filled with luggage. Renee looked at me again, searching my eyes for something. "Goodbye, Kitty. Please take care of Wes."
I nodded, giving her one last peace of mind before her departure. However, it was a promise I could not keep for Wes was no longer mine.
I left the car and looked back at the hospital. I could still see the way Wes looked at me as though he still stood before me now with the resignation, hurt and betrayal in those eyes. He was probably still sitting that room, chatting and laughing with Jordan, Eli, Kevin and Jan and my chest hurt so much that I couldn't stand anymore. I had lost Wes- it was clear in those expressionless hollow eyes that haunted me.
I found myself walking to the hospital garden with nothing else to do. I couldn't just leave. I was Eli's and Jordan's ride home. I sighed and sat at the steps of a large fountain. There were silver and gold coins scattered at the bottom of the fountain. A collection of forgotten wishes, thrown away carelessly into the world for all to see. Instead, I held mine right against my heart- the claws of my wish digging its way through until there was a big gaping hole. But these wishes looked peaceful, carefully lain to rest for eternity. However, they swayed slightly whenever droplets too heavy fell in their vicinity. It was almost as though each individual imbued the force of their wish into the coin- giving it immortal life. And it shook to not be forgotten.
Without notice, another coin was suddenly tossed in, the clink of the toss reverberating the pool, a split second warning before another wish joined its mass. The other coins swayed in welcome to their new comrade.
"My wish is that you'd stop being so sad every time I run into you by yourself."
I looked up to meet those icy blue eyes of Kevin. There was half a smile on his face yet his eyes were sombre as he stood in front of me.
"It's the only time you ever approach me so I do it for the attention," I tried to smirk, but he gave me a look that confirmed that my attempt was pathetic.
"If that's the case then!" he dramatically flung himself down next to me, crossing his legs and resting his face in his palms to look at me. "I'm all yours!" he grinned, shuffling himself up against my side while remaining in the same posture.
I laughed in response at his attempts to cheer me up.
"See, the wishing fountain works!" he cried miraculously.
"It's more like you force your wishes upon others!" I grinned at him.
"What can I say? I force the hand of fate," he nudged me.
"And I like to take fate's gifts for granted until he deals me with the worst hand as revenge," I picked up Kevin's coin from the pool and handed it to him, purposefully spraying him with water. He sprung away from the fountain to safety.
"By taking my coin, you're now indebted to fulfilling my wish or forever harbouring my curse," Kevin spoke in a mysterious voice, flicking off droplets of water from his face. He had a broad smile on his face and it suddenly hit me how lucky I was to have my friends. They would go out of their way to help me- to make me smile. Kevin had always been there for me whenever I needed it the most.
"Thank you, Kevin," I said softly. "I mean it."
His eyes and smile suddenly grew kinder. He sat back down next to me, placing an arm around my shoulders.
"I just don't want to see you hurting, Kitty," he spoke quietly, looking straight ahead.
"Is this where you say 'I told you so'?" I nudged his side.
"I didn't want it to come the point where I would need to say it," he sighed, looking up at the sky. "God, Kitty, you deserve so much more than this."
"No, Kevin," I shook my head at him. "You were right about something but it wasn't about Wes and Renee."
He raised an eyebrow at me, waiting for me to elaborate.
"That night at camp, you gave me very valuable advice that I was too scared to follow- to have a little more trust in Wes. When I saw Wes and Renee," I gulped, the memories of the pain still raw in my mind. "I freaked out and ran before even giving Wes a chance to explain himself. I found out that Renee had forced herself on him and he had rejected her. That was when he had come to find me."
"And how do you know it won't happen again?" Kevin clenched his jaw.
"Because she's leaving. She broke it off with Mason and is going to leave for good. When Mase found out she was leaving, he got really angry and started a fight with Wes," I explained.
"So you and Wes will get back together?" he asked me, genuine worry still clouding his face.
I shook my head at him, tears forming in my eyes, "He kept trying to talk to me, to explain what had happened but every time I turned him away. And now he won't even talk to me. He said he doesn't want to be in a relationship with no trust."
"I'm sorry," Kevin pressed me into his side. I allowed myself to be comforted by the warmth of his embrace for a second- to feel sorry for myself for just a second more before I stood up with new energy.
"But you know what," I stood up straight in front of Kevin. It felt this new energy rise in me, spreading from my chest to every part of my body. I suddenly felt awake. "It was also his fault! If he hadn't been so secretive and enigmatic about the whole Renee thing, maybe I wouldn't have been so insecure and volatile when it came to what had happened! It is his fault as much as mine and I won't let him convince me otherwise!"
Kevin smiled at me proudly for picking myself up. Before, Wes and I had been so caught up with whose fault it was- his or mine, but now, I felt liberated by sharing the burden.
"So, are you going to write him a passive aggressive letter?" he joked at me. "Remove the 'kind' from 'kind regards' at the end of it?"
"No!" I buzzed. I sat down next to Kevin and looked at him excitedly. "I'm going to do something even more daring!"