The next morning I wake up to my maid, Marsyla, jumping into bed with me and screams in my ear, "Oh princess I am so glad you're home!" Hugging me.
"I'm glad to see you too." I hug her back finding it comforting to see such a bright welcome.
"I kept everything clean for you and made sure no one came in or touched anything!" She's beams at me like she's waiting for a pat on the head like a dog. Maybe this was my fathers power turning people into his dogs, have I done that with her?
"I can see that, thank you Marsyla, I appreciate it." She hops out of bed.
"Now lets get you dressed, your mother has invited you to have breakfast with her." She smiles again and disappears into my closet. No I don't have magic like my father, she's just a loyal friend. She wouldn't die for me like Wolkif would for my father. I stand up going into my bathroom and drawing my own bath as she flutters about in my closet looking for a dress for me. once she finds a simple one my mother wouldn't hate and I wouldn't have a hard time moving in she comes helping me wash my hair and scrub my back. Once thats done she leaves me to soak on my own and goes to make my bed. Hopefully after this meal I can talk to my father about everything that happened while I was gone.
Once I'm dressed and made presentable I wake Wolfie up and take him with me to the dinning room for breakfast where my family is waiting for me a long with a few lords and ladies and mistresses gathered around the room eating as well. I take my seat and wolfie lays around my feet. I'm served by a shaky woman who stares openly at him. Father smiles at me and Skisha takes my hand. My sisters and mother don't look up from their plates or someone they're talking to. I eat in silence as lords and ladies talk around me of nothing but jewels and money with fake laughter.
"Tell me you're just as bored as I am." Skisha whispers to me pushing her food around her plate and resting her hand on her little belly.
"Very, perhaps once mother releases us we can go to the library to read together." She squeezes my hand and smiles brightly at me. I squeeze her hand back.
"I would love that, sister. You can read to the baby!" She says excitedly.
"That would be wonderful." We go back to eating waiting for mother to look at me or talk to us but she continues her conversation with one of the ladies of the court. Once people begin to finish eating and leaving mother has her plate taken away which is her signal that we have been released. Skisha stands to leave.
"I have to tell Kahno where I'm going first then I'll meet you in the library, he worries far too much."
"Well you are with child, you are much more delicate then you were before." She snorts very unladylike.
"I bet if you were the one pregnant no one would treat you like you're made of flower petals that could be blown away by the wind at any moment."
"You're right, maybe its better that I can't be then." She looks at me sadly and take my hand.
"I didn't mean-"
"I know sister, don't worry I'm not in pain any longer." She pats my hand and leaves. I stand and go to the king. "Father, I must talk to you, it's urgent." He looks between me and Wolfie surprised by the presence of the animal.
"When did you get a hound? I don't remember allowing you to pick one out."
"He's not a hound, now shall we go to your study?" He shifts uncomfortable still looking at wolfie. "He can wait outside." I reassure him. He stands.
"Alright, this way dear." He leads the way to his study then shuts the door behind us. "So what is this about?" He sits down in his chair and I take the one in front of him politely.
"This is about when I was gone." He looks at me more interested.
"What about your absence?"
"I was taken by the warrior Fae clan if you haven't figured that out already, they told me quite a few things about your reign. The most interesting was that I am not your daughter that I was taken from my father as collateral, and you murdered my mother." He nods with a smile.
"Yes I did all of that, well I didn't kill her, your father did."
"What?"
"He didn't tell you? He seemed like such a truthful man." He says like he's enjoying all of this. "I told him to choose or she dies and he tried to save you both, now I'm not unreasonable I let her die where she wished to." I realize he is enjoying this, he liked what he did.
"He choose, why did you kill her?"
"Because he chose wrong I wanted Faena as my mistress." Her name sounds mangled coming from his overly large mouth. "And then he tried to save her himself by coming into my castle and stealing her from my bed." Bile burns its way up my throat.
"No one can steal something from you that isn't yours in the first place, my mother rejected you and you killed her like the rat you are, False king." I stand feeling sick to my stomach and turn to leave.
"You know, you are old enough now to be my new mistress. Old enough to take your mothers place in this castle." He stands from his chair with a sly smile.
"I would never take that offer, even if you were a real king." He rounds the desk quickly as anger makes his face burn. He grabs me and shoves me against his desk so were nose to nose and I have no where to move.
"You don't have to be as willing as your mother, but a little respect will do nicely." I spit in his face and he lets go of me. My anger claws its way from my chest and sizzles down my arms.
"Touch me or talk about my mother again and you will wish you had died in your mothers womb like even she wished." I know my face shows the slow torture I know how to inflict. I take a menacing step towards him dragging his silver letter opener along the wood as I step away from the desk.
"Your kind is supposed to be peaceful." He seethes backing away as he see the intention in the dull blade dangling from my hand.
"I am not my kind then because I was born to war, in fire and blood he bathed me, I was born as Death herself." I leave him a shaking mess in his study and take the letter opener with me. Once I get out in the hall I close the door and take a deep breath trying to calm down so I don't go back in there and kill him like I want to. I put the letter opener in my boot and whistle for wolfie, we go back to my room where I wedge the letter opener into the stones like my father said but I don't light a candle on it just yet. I need to know what that was, what I am. I hurry down to the library where I find Skisha already curled up in her chair wrapped in a blanket and biting her nail as she reads. I leave her be and go in the the shelves of books trying to find any on the Fae or even about this castle. I find a single black volume covered in copper simmering ink and strange symbols like the ones on my burn and the temple. I bring it back to the chairs beside Skisha and sit down with her she looks up and smiles then goes back to reading when she sees I've picked out a tomb and not a children's book for her baby. I open it and find the pages are black as well but the writing is white. It alternates between the Fae language and mine like someone was trying to translate it in sporadic bursts of realization of what it means.
As I flip through it more I find that the sporadic bursts of Alkyranian actually mean something, its translating the most important parts of the text, the parts about this castle and the Fae council. It's all vague though talking about the castle as it was yet not talking about anything that was done here. Nothing about the rooms or secret passages, nothing about the people, just about how it was built and why. Then the Fae council is just as vague only talking about the rules they put into place but not what they are or punishment if they're broken, nothing to actually help me learn anything. Then halfway though after lots of skimming I find that the Alkyranian stops except for a little note written in the bottom corner of the page.
Don't let death take you
Death? Do they mean the dying kind? Or me? I shut the book before I can look into it more and pick up the children's book Skisha grabbed and tap her with it.
"Want me to read to you two?" She sits up and turns to me smiling.
"I would love that." Her smile always reaches her eyes and brightens the room around her. I hope her baby smiles like that. I start reading the little book finding the colored drawings funny and cute enough that I stop often to show Skisha the pictures and we laugh about them. We might not be related but she took the time when we were children to learn to love me like our parents never did, she will always be my sister. We stay in the library for the rest of the day curled up on a couch wrapped up in a blanket and wrapped around children books like we use to as children.
Skisha goes quiet for a moment then looks at me thoughtfully then says,"I know Revana can be cruel to you but I hope you know she does love you. When you were gone she told father to send the knights to look for you."
"Those knights weren't looking for me, they were looking for blood." I stand up looking out the darkened window. "I should get going." I pick up the black book and kiss my sisters forehead. "I promise we won't be strangers." She nods and lets me go. I take the book to my training room where I hid the jar of salve Wolkif gave me. I hide the book with it and go to my room. I find a candle lit melting on one of the post of my bed. I take it carefully and put it on the letter opener I stuck in my window. I get into bed realizing I'm alone for the first time, no Wolfie or crazy men, or my pregnant sister. No one to look at me, or to hear me, or to care. I let myself cry as I think of all the things this king has taken from me. I had a mother and father who loved me, a brother I have never met. I had a family who would never let me suffer for their amusement.
I hear footsteps on the stones outside my door and sit up wiping tears from my cheeks. The door slowly creaks open and my father slips in closing the door softly. He turns smiling to me until he sees my wet eyes then he comes over to me and sits on my bed beside me wrapping me in his arms whispering,"Oh sweet child, its alright." I lay my cheek on his shoulder wanting to cry more because this is the first time I have every truly been comforted. But I pull away forcing myself to stop.
"I'm sorry. I talked to King Kahnlen today and he talked about my mother, Faena." Rathnok winces at her name.
"Yes, I would assume he did. He tried to lie to me like that as well but Faena hated him more than the whole of our peoples hate." He says shaking his head like it was too impossible to believe, "She never would have accepted and she said as much as she died in my arms."
"He offered it to me too." He stands stiffly and turns to me furious.
"What did you say?"
"I almost killed him with that letter opener. I threatened him with torture and death." He calms down slowly. "I said I was born from war and bathed in blood, I said I was death herself. But I didn't say it, it felt like there was something else inside of me forcing those words out. But I knew in that moment those words were true." I lace my fingers together in my lap to keep from shaking. "What am I?"
"You're my daughter not death, that is not you that is someone I thought was gone for a very long time but now I know someone here has her."
"Who? I need you to tell me everything, I need to know what I am."
"You are a Lankiri and you were born from war. But you are not death, you are peace." He sits down on the bed and takes my hands. "Another Lankiri a long time ago believed she was a god and called herself Death she used her powers for evil and turned the Fae against them. Her soul was trapped inside of a container by other Lankiri. I believe now someone in this castle has found the container and they are close to you so her soul is coming through you because you are connected through your magic."
"I need you to tell me everything, of what you are, what my mother was, everything." I beg pulling my hands away from him as they start shaking again.
"I am an Elvatan Warrior from the Kytivan clan, your mother was a Faynaga Queen. Faynaga's are woodland Fae whose soul is tied to the forest and a Unicorn within that forest where she is to rule." He begins to explain, "Elvatan are naturally warriors, but we have kings and we have the warriors. Kings loose their minds without a mate they become over taken with bloodlust much like Wolkif has, only they never learn to control it. That is why they need a mate who is as powerful or even more powerful than they are, they preform the mating ritual where they break their mates soul, take their power, and they become the reason that the bloodlust goes away. Warriors learn to control the bloodlust because they can not preform the mating ritual." He explains it like its a simple task such as folding a sheet or mending a shirt.
"How do you control it?" My mind finds every corner of darkness Wolkif has shown me in his madness, the blood soaked earth and knives wet with it, teeth stained with it.
"Warriors take the power from the Fae they kill it takes the edge off, Kings do it from the soul they break it cures them. It's a different kind of magic, a King is more powerful thats how he can do soul magic and why warriors can not." They steal magic, they steal souls.
"Are there females of your kind?"
"Yes, but they do not have bloodlust like men and never need to take a mate or another's power, they are mostly healers only some become warriors." He smiles, "I had a sister, she tried everything in her power to help me on nights when I would have terrible fits that forced our parents to tie me down so I wouldn't hurt anyone, she cried, when I begged to be released, when I screamed in pain because it felt like I was being eaten from the inside out by rage and my need to kill." He scratches a scar cut down his forearm. "Our father called it growing pains and told her it was natural. He told me to kill my sisters prized dog, that bottling it up was killing me. I said no that it wouldn't kill me and if it did then I would happily die." He laughs bitterly, "I didn't die, nor the dog, my sister did. She was the most powerful healer our clan had ever had and she thought she could cure me. She let me go one night and before she could stop me, not that she didn't try, I took her life and her magic. I haven't needed to kill since." I touch his hand scratching his arm realizing this scar is from his sister fighting for her life.
"She cured your bloodlust? Her magic cured you." He smiles sadly at me almost looking right through me.
"It wasn't her magic that I took, it was her soul. I preformed soul magic that night, I don't know how and I don't know why, but she died for it and I have never killed unless I have truly needed to." I take his hand off his scar.
"Tell me about Faynaga queens, about my mother." He smiles.
"Faynaga are also warriors, Queens most of all. They are the masters of war and battles, smarter than even Lankiri. They are cunning and wise holding titles only to show their power to lesser Fae. They dwell in the forests able to connect to all the trees and life within their land. Your mother ruled this forest outside your window, she only came to my castle to be with me but would often go back to her home where she felt the most happy, even from here she could feel the heartbeat of a bird perched on a branch anywhere in her forest." He smiles at me, "You look so much like her," He touches my cheek, "she would have been so proud of who you have become." He drops his hand, "She was a lot like you too, very strong and stubborn." He laughs when I scrunch up my nose. "She was so kind and she loved life so passionately it was inspiring."
"She sounds amazing."
"She was."
"Tell me more about her?" I ask softly and he smiles.
Rathnok stays until the early hours of morning and I crawl into bed soon after but before I could get even an hour of rest Valtok knocks on my door waking me up like an animal. "Do you ever sleep?" I groan as he tosses clothes at me somehow missing the giant wolf laying beside me who hasn't even stirred, what a good protector.
"Come on we have a mission, well I do but since you are now back and my slave, I mean second, I'll train you on the job." I pull my blankets over my head with another groan. "No sleeping in anymore princess, lets get on the road. I've got the horses ready, now get dressed, go get a sleeping mat from Nalia, pack some extra clothes, and maybe some food too." He disappears back out the door and I get up pulling my clothes on then grabbing a small leather pack and filling it with an extra pair of loose pants and a tunic I got from Nalia a while ago like he said. Before I can go to the seamstress for the mat, Wolfie sits up and yawns giving me a good look into his big mouth at all his sharp long teeth then rolls onto his back close to me wagging his tail like he wants me to rub his belly, what a strange wolf. I slip my sword on my belt still in its simple leather sheath and scratch his head.
"Come one silly wolf I have to go get a sleeping mat." He hops up and follows me out the door. As soon as I walk in she drops what she's sowing and stands fluttering over to me picking at my clothes and telling me I need to eat and how happy she is that I'm home. Wolfie stays outside so we don't give her a heart attack.
"You're heading out with Valtok this morning?" She asks almost surprised after a moment of looking over my clothes and tisking at the cut on the forearm of my shirt giving us a good look at the healed skin, the rip in the shirt is a reminder of my one victory here, "I'm going to fix that for you, take it off dear." She commands flicking her wrist, I pull the shirt off not feeling any embarrassment in front of her because she's been my seamstress since I was a child but I keep my burn turned away from her so she doesn't become worried, or worse curious.
"Yes, I thought he told you, thats why I'm here to pick up a sleeping mat from you." I say sitting down in one of her comfy chairs she keeps around her little work space.
"I just assumed it was for him, alrighty then I'll grab you one too." She bustles out into a little room attached to this one where she keeps fabrics and uniforms and some bed mats.
"I was also wondering if I could get another pair of these clothes, just whenever you got the time."
"Of course dear! I've already got a pair half done, hopefully I'll get a little more time now that you're going off with Valtok." She jokes coming back into the room with me.
"Of course, take your time." She sets down the mat and sits at her chair picking up a needle and tread fixing up the hole in my shirt. Once she's done I head back to my room to grab my pack then to then to the kitchens to get extra food for Wolfie, well he is a wild animal I should expect him to hunt but just in case. Then we go out to the stables just as the sun begins to rise meeting Valtok.
We set off as soon as the saddle bags are packed and take the way out of the castle through the market with Valtok grumbling the whole time about me bringing the "damned wolf." The market is packed with people from the ball last night and brutish men from the fight so navigating it becomes difficult with the horses but people move out of our way once Valtok pulls his sword. as soon as we pass out of the West gate Valtok shoots off forcing me to speed up with him and Wolfie disappears into the woods. Pain shoots through my legs and spine, every movement from the horse under me stabs pain through my muscles when I follow his lead.
"Please for the love of fucking anything can we take a break!" I scream at his back after we've ridden all day long and the sun begins to set in front of us. He finally slows riding next to me with an ugly smirk.
"Feeling a little saddle sore?" He gloats.
"I'm going to kill you in your sleep the second I can move my legs again." I threaten leaning over my horses neck barely hanging on to the reins and over all not looking threatening in the slightest.
"Okay princess well make camp for the night." He snickers leading us off the path to find a clearing to sleep in tonight. After we've cleaned and fed the horses we gather sticks for a little fire. I roll out my bed mat close to the fire then rummage through my pack for some bread and cheese I grabbed. Valtok sets up his mat across the fire from mine and begins cooking some salted meat he brought. Before I even make it back to my mat Wolfie comes bounding out of the woods with a rabbit between his teeth and lays down in my spot dropping the rabbit by the fire for me. I sigh, well guess I'm sleeping on the dirt tonight, at least I've got dinner. I clean the rabbit and cut it up skewering its flesh onto sticks then sitting in the dirt in front of Wolfie closer to the fire and using him as a back rest as I cook the rabbit giving him the bones to chew on and some chunks of the meat. Valtok glares at him the whole time eating his dinner silently.
"How can you sit with him like that? He's a beast!" Valtok finally snaps flinging a stick into the fire. Wolfie lifts his head then lays it back down unconcerned, I giggle.
"Does he really look that scary?" I laugh at Valtok's hatred of my little Wolfie.
"He doesn't look scary, he can kill you!" I roll my eyes.
"And I can kill him, it's a mutual decision not to kill each other." I shrug, "Now if he wanted to kill you you're first reaction would be to pull a knife, but that would do nothing. If he wanted you dead you would be." Finishing off my rabbit and pulling my blanket from under the giant wolf to wrap about myself as the night gets colder my cloak isn't thick enough by itself. Wolfie wraps his tail around me so it's sitting in my lap as more warmth and I cuddle into him surprisingly comfortable even in the dirt. Valtok huffs turning away angrily, I look up at the stars thinking about why I inexplicably trust this beast I'm laying on and why I feel homesick for a temple I went to once. Ever since I left those woods I have questioned everyone around me, Wolfie included, what if he was sent by my father. I still don't know that mans power or who to trust. Yet here I am trusting a wolf over a man who claims to love me and almost makes me believe him.
I finally fall asleep after Wolfie starts snoring softly and nuzzling my arm in his sleep. Dreams come to me slowly leaking in through my tired mind showing me colors and light, I feel the fire again licking at my limbs and warming my flesh, it dances around me softly. A different kind of fire burns though my right eye suddenly waking me up. I jerk up my hands flying to my face feeling my eye for any damage but feeling nothing or even any pain, I look around the camp at the soft dawn settling around us. It's a little chilly so I pull my blanket tighter around me and stand up kicking the little ember still burning back to life adding little sticks and moss to get a small flame enough to warm my cold hands.