[This chapter is dedicated to @1Digimonx as she made this amazing trailer for my book which is on the right side :) I'm really very thankful to her for this :D I know many of you have already seen it but never gave me the feedback :( So here I am asking you again to please please tell me what do you think of the trailer and the story so far. Plus I want you to vote in huge numbers which helps a book to gain popularity on wattpad. I hope you would do this for me. Thank you and I love you all :) xx ]
“Shhhshhhh......” Liam held my hand and sat down beside me.”It was not done on purpose. Okay? It was an accident.”
He made me lean onto him and I cried against his chest.
“I killed him, I murdered him. How can you ever kill a person whom you love more than anything else?” I asked sobbing.
“You didn’t kill him Zara. It was an accident. Do you hear me? Look at me.” He lifted my face up so that my eyes were able to meet his.”Think of it logically. If it was supposed to be a murder, then the cops standing over there who came with Steve and Ruth should have arrested you, shouldn’t they? But they didn’t do so because they were also the witness of this accident. You were about to shoot James which was self-defence but the bullet hit Steve. And you didn’t even aim at him in first place. So it was just an accident although a terrible one. You don’t have to hold yourself responsible for committing a crime. It was not a crime done on purpose. Okay? Do you understand this?”
“But I am indeed responsible for taking his life. I am the reason why he is not in this world anymore. I am the reason why he is not alive today. I am the reason why he is not here with me. Only because of me, I am the one who’s responsible.” I said and my voice choked.
“We are humans Zara; we are bound to make mistakes. And it was a mistake. You have already suffered enough for your mistakes. And now it has become a thing of past. If you cling to your past forever, it will only make your life more and more miserable. So please just stop torturing yourself like this, okay? I just can’t see you suffer like this all your life.”
I was not able to say anything. My throat had given up on my voice.
“Zara, please. Please don’t do this to yourself. To us, to our relationship. We all have worked really hard to take you out of your past. And you also tried this and now if you go back to this again, we will have to start it all over again. I love you more than I’ve loved anyone else in this world ever and I wanted to give a new direction to your life by becoming a part of it permanently. And I also want you in my life that’s why I asked you about the marriage thing. “He said. “And if you think that I don’t know what you’ve been going through or thinking, then you are wrong.”
My sobs continued but I managed to give him a confusing look not able to understand what that last line meant and he understood.
“Just tell me one thing. You were alright and you were doing good, leaving your past behind you. But from the last one week, I’ve been observing that things again have gone downhill and you were really sad most of the time. And of course, you’ve been trying to ignore me as much as you can. Today also, you came after I requested you a million times. And not just me, you’ve been ignoring Harry and Alan also. They are your best mates and nothing has ever been hidden from them, not from Alan at least. So tell me, what is the matter? What was there on your mind from all this week? I know something has happened and I want to know what it is.” He said.
“Nothing, it’s just nothing.” My voice immediately came back and I was able to answer him.
“I’m so damn sure that there is something which you’ve been hiding. And you have to tell me. I need to know about it.”
“I just didn’t want to talk to anyone, that’s why I didn’t. Just that and nothing else.” I said and stood up trying to look away from his direction.
He also got on his feet and got a hold of me.
“Don’t lie. You know that I can easily catch your lies. Tell me what happened?”He asked.
“I met Rodick in the store last week. I had not seen him from that night itself, so I thought that it was great that he met me there after two years. But he......he.......” I was stopped by my tears only.
“What did he say? Tell me what did he say?” Liam asked anxiously.
“He told me that he’ll never forgive me for what I had done to Steve, for ruining Ella’s life just for my own selfish reasons. And when I argued he said that I’m dreadful creature who’s like an eclipse in everyone’s life and now that I’ve ruined Steve’s life, my next target is you. That I’m going to ruin your life too.”
“And you took him seriously. I mean, are you mad Zara? You’ll believe any foolish thing anyone says about you? That’s insane, I tell you.” He said disgustingly.
“He was right Liam. He was totally right. I have never kept anyone happy in my entire life, since the beginning itself. I’ve never been able to fulfill my parent’s wishes. My father doesn’t even talks to me. I killed the man who loved me from all his heart. And now I’m just about to ruin your life. Do you have any idea what would happen to your career if media and all your fans out there find out about my past?” I said and the stream of salty water again started flowing through my eyes.
“Nothing will happen. They all will understand like I have. They all will respect you even more once they get to know your past and what things you have gone through. And it’s not like that you’ve never kept anyone happy in your entire life. You made your parents proud when you secured a job at BBC. You were the reason why Steve used to love you. And you are the reason why I feel complete today, why I’m having all the happiness of this world today. When I broke up with Sophia, I thought that I would never be the same again. I would never be able to love anyone again. But then you came in my life and taught me what real love is. I have never felt like this way before Zara. It’s all for you, all because of you. And regarding the fact that your father is not on talking terms with you, it’s because of me and not you. They have issues with me, not with you.” He said firmly and at that moment I really wanted to believe him.
I really wanted to believe every single word of him but I was just not able to do so.
“It’s all an illusion Liam. I would destroy your life even without knowing about it.”
He cupped his hands around my face.
“You will never do any such thing. I know you love me and I love you. The worst thing you can ever do to me is to leave me. And I know you won’t do any such thing which would tear my world apart. And I trust you on that.” He said softly and kissed my forehead.
“Don’t love me so much that you have to repent for it afterwards. I may not be able to keep your trust alive. Just don’t trust me so much.”
“I know what I’m doing and I know that I’m doing the right thing. You just stop doubting yourself.” He smiled.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Yeah, sure. Go ahead.”
“Can you please leave me alone for some time? I just want to be alone for a few hours. Can you do that please?” I asked him and he nodded.
“Of course, but only on one condition. You’ll have to promise me that you won’t cry again and torture those beautiful eyes of yours and you’ll not think and pressurize your mind for anything.”
“Okay.”
“Great, so I’ll return in the afternoon to see the happy version of my beautiful girlfriend. Okay?”
“Afternoon?” I asked puzzled.
“It’s already five thirty in the morning. And I really think that you should sleep now and give your eyes and body a little rest.” He said and I nodded.”So I’ll see you in the afternoon then. Alright love?”
And I said nothing but nodded.
As he left me with my tears and thoughts, I was scared of what the silence of my house will bring to my mind in my loneliness. But I had promised Liam that I would not think of anything and will just simply sleep. So, keeping my promise, I shut the door and my thoughts and locked both of them up.
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