(Start on the second isle. CUPHEAD and MUGMAN are walking. CUPHEAD narrates.)
Cuphead-(voice only) So here we were, hard at work collecting contracts-(speaking) What's that?
(He points at a tent with a sign that says "Come challenge yourself at the FUNFAIR FEVER obstacle course". He runs into the tent. MUGMAN follows him. Their path is blocked by a canvas tarp. There is a trampoline in front of them.)
Cuphead-That leaves us with one option. Mugman, give me a boost!
Mugman-Or we could just use the trampoline.
Cuphead-Oh. I knew that.
(He jumps on the trampoline. It sprouts feet and begins running around.)
Cuphead-Whoa!
(It runs closer to the tarp. CUPHEAD jumps higher and goes over it.)
Mugman-Wait for me!
(He jumps on the trampoline and dashes over the tarp. Balloons start floating in. One nearly hits CUPHEAD.)
Cuphead-Get out of my way!
(He shoots a balloon. It explodes, sending projectiles in all directions.)
Cuphead-Ack!
(Another balloon, a pink one, floats into view.)
Mugman-Ooh, pink!
(He jumps on the trampoline and parries it. They use the same running trampoline to jump over more canvas tarps. Then they are out of the tent. Tiny clowns are rolling on little balls. They jump on top of a trunk and over the first clown.)
Cuphead-Wait a minute! Why are we dodging everything when we could just as easily shoot it?
(He shoots the next clown, leaving a lonely ball rolling around.)
Mugman-Because it's easier and less violent.
(They come across a strength-tester with a pink bell moving up and down. MUGMAN goes around it.)
Cuphead-Hold on a second!
(He parries the bell several times. Then he follows after MUGMAN. They go into another tent with several dunk platforms. They jump onto a platform. A ball flies in from nowhere and hits it. It gives way, dropping CUPHEAD and MUGMAN onto a lower platform.)
Cuphead-Okay, so you have to watch out for those-
(Their path is blocked by a line of robot monkeys. CUPHEAD begins shooting them, and they fall off the line. Before he can finish, MUGMAN smoke-dashes through them.)
Cuphead-You're no fun, Mugman.
Mugman-Since when is being violent fun?
(They continue jumping from platform to platform. They come across a line of three cannons that are revealed to be shooting the balls that hit the platforms.)
Cuphead-Okay, Mugman. These look like they take a lot of damage. Ready, aim-
(MUGMAN smoke-dashes through the cannons.)
Cuphead-Dangit, Mugman!
(He smoke-dashes through the cannons as well. They exit this tent. CUPHEAD parries the bell on another strength-tester twice.)
Mugman-We can't waste time!
(CUPHEAD sighs as they jump over another tiny clown on a ball.)
Mugman-Cuphead, you really need to stop shooting when you don't need to. We need to save our shots for an actual fight!
Cuphead-But Mugman, it's so much fun!
Mugman-Could you promise me that you won't shoot for the rest of this course?
Cuphead-(grumbling) Fine.
Mugman-Good. Now, when not shooting, two important things to remember to do are jump and smoke-dash.
(A large shooting range blocks their path. It begins firing down a line of ducks. CUPHEAD jumps onto a nearby box and begins shooting it.)
Mugman-Cuphead!
Cuphead-What? I couldn't help myself!
(MUGMAN yanks CUPHEAD off the box, and they both smoke-dash through the shooting range and jump onto a series of platforms moving up and down. Each one has a letter. CUPHEAD reads each letter out loud.)
Cuphead-S, N
(There are also condiments being shot at them from some undetermined location, which CUPHEAD doesn't notice until he's nearly shot by some mustard.)
Cuphead-A-mustard.
(There is also a pretzel jumping up and down on the next platform. MUGMAN shoots it.)
Cuphead-I thought you didn't like shooting.
Mugman-Well, we needed to get past.
(They continue jumping on platforms, dodging condiments, and shooting pretzels. At the end, there's a giant, dancing hot dog that is revealed to have been shooting the condiments.)
Cuphead-It's shootin' time!
Mugman-No, it's not!
(He smoke-dashes past it.)
Cuphead-But you're missing all the good parts-oh, whatever.
(He also smoke-dashes past it. They are now out of the course.)
Mugman-Whew. We're out. Where to next?
Cuphead-How about the roller coaster?
Mugman-No! That roller coaster has a clown in it, and I'm scared to death of clowns!
Cuphead-Sheesh. You're so dramatic.
(They find a strange-looking pool of water next to the roller coaster.)
Cuphead-What about this?
Mugman-Well, what is it?
(Just then, the face of QUADRATUS appears in the water.)
Quadratus-Through all your battles and all my rhymes, you have failed and perished 36 times.
Mugman-Weird. What does it mean?
(Just then, the voice of BEPPI THE CLOWN can be heard behind them.)
Beppi-Hello, boys!
(CUPHEAD and MUGMAN jump, startled. MUGMAN falls into the water.)
Quadratus-Through all your battles and all my rhymes, you have failed and perished 37 times!
Beppi-The name's Beppi the Clown, and I am going to make you laugh!
Cuphead-(to himself) Why do I get the feeling he won't?
(BEPPI points at the flower he's wearing.)
Beppi-(to CUPHEAD) Hey, you. Smell my flower!
(CUPHEAD hestitantly leans in. The flower squirts water in his face. CUPHEAD reels back.)
Cuphead-Agh, hot! Mugman, help me!
(MUGMAN stares at him vacantly.)
Mugman-How?
Beppi-And look at this!
(He takes out a balloon and turns it into a dog. It begins biting at MUGMAN. MUGMAN takes a step back, a look of fear on his face.)
Cuphead-Stop! You're scaring him!
Beppi-Hey, look. I went to clown college for this. I sold my soul for this! The least you can do is ACT LIKE I'M FUNNY!
Cuphead-Did you just say you sold your soul?
Beppi-Yeah. What about it?
(CUPHEAD takes out the list.)
Cuphead-Is your name...Grim Matchstick?
Beppi-What? No!
Cuphead-What about Dr. Kahl's Robot?
Beppi-No!
Cuphead-Er, Sally...Stag-uh-plye?
Beppi-No! No! No! My name's Beppi! Beppi the Clown!
Cuphead-That was going to be my next guess.
Beppi-Y'know what, why don't we settle this on my roller coaster?
(He runs off. CUPHEAD and MUGMAN look at each other and go to the roller coaster. They stand on some track. BEPPI rides back in, standing in a blue bumper car with eyes.)
Beppi-Alright, kiddies! It's playtime!
Cuphead-Aw, I hate playtime. (to MUGMAN) Shots out?
(MUGMAN nods. They hold their fingers up. BEPPI sits down in the bumper car and begins swerving it left and right. CUPHEAD and MUGMAN begin shooting with Peashooter.)
Cuphead-Keep shooting, Mugman. He's a sitting duck!
(BEPPI charges at them. They smoke-dash through him.)
Cuphead-I guess he's not a sitting duck anymore.
(BEPPI turns around begins swerving his car again. Cardboard ducks begin hanging from above.)
Cuphead-And that'll teach me to open my big mouth.
(BEPPI charges at them again. MUGMAN smoke-dashes through, but CUPHEAD goes over to parry a pink duck.)
Mugman-Great idea, Cuphead.
(BEPPI turns around and begins swerving again. When he charges again, both CUPHEAD and MUGMAN go over. CUPHEAD parries another pink duck, but since there's only one, MUGMAN accidentally jumps for a yellow duck and gets hit. When he lands, he throws in one Roundabout shot, which is enough to knock BEPPI and his bumper car off the track.)
Cuphead-Ha! We beat him!
(BEPPI comes back up with a weird helium device that turns him into a balloon. A roller coaster can be seen in the background.)
Cuphead-Note to self: if you think you've beat 'em, you haven't beat 'em.
(The roller coaster rides in. CUPHEAD and MUGMAN jump on and run from car to car, trying not to get swept away. Some of the cars have weird yellow and orange passengers. When it rides away, they get back to shooting at balloon BEPPI. Meanwhile, the balloon machine begins inflating balloon dogs that chase after CUPHEAD and MUGMAN. They begin shooting the dogs instead with Peashooter.)
Mugman-This really is a lot of dogs!
Cuphead-Yeah. I wish there was some sort of weapon where you could hit multiple targets at once. There would be multiple bullets that just spread everywhere. It would be called the-
(Another roller coaster rides in. MUGMAN notices that the front has a pink nose and parries it. They run across the coaster, still trying to fend off the onslaught of balloon dogs. As soon as the roller coaster leaves, CUPHEAD gets an idea.)
Cuphead-Mugman, take off your nose and throw it!
Mugman-But I don't wanna-
Cuphead-Take it off.
Mugman-Alright, fine!
(He grunts. He takes off his rubber ball nose and throws it. The dog balloons chase after it.)
Mugman-Oh, so you wanted to-why didn't you just say that?
(They shoot balloon BEPPI again. His balloon machine and body fall off while his balloon head stays with cross eyes and a sad expression and floats away. Normal BEPPI comes back in on a green carousel horse. The horse shoots two horseshoes from its mouth that move in a wave-like pattern. CUPHEAD and MUGMAN get in a few shots before he lifts away.)
Cuphead-Well, this'll be easy.
(BEPPI comes back down on the other side on a yellow carousel horse.)
Cuphead-Should have known. It's never easy. I have an idea, though.
(He ducks under the horse as it shoots a row of horseshoes in a horizontal line. MUGMAN runs to get under the horse as the horseshoes come back around and fall down. The horse lifts away. Another rollercoaster rides into view. MUGMAN parries the nose. BEPPI shows back up on another green horse that shoots two horseshoes. CUPHEAD jumps over another car of passengers. Seeing that he is about to get hit by the horseshoes, MUGMAN looks at his full super meter and jumps in the way.)
Mugman-No one hurts my brother and gets away with it!
(He fires an Energy Beam towards BEPPI.)
Cuphead-Nice on!
(They high-five. BEPPI begins crying on his horse with his head back. The horse lifts off the screen, then returns in the middle. BEPPI is still crying as he falls off the horse.)
Cuphead-Drama queen.
(A somewhat cute but still maniacal laugh is heard as BEPPI comes back up as a massive swing ride.)
Mugman-That can't be good!
(The roller coaster begins coming at them at an immense speed. At the same time, swings begin coming down from BEPPI's top.)
Cuphead-Mugman, jump!
(They jump onto one of the swings and begin shooting BEPPI. They jump from swing to swing to stay close to him.)
Mugman-I'll get him from the other side.
(He jumps forward a couple swings and begins using Roundabout. The roller coaster rolls off. Four green penguins roll out of BEPPI's mouth and begin throwing baseballs at CUPHEAD and MUGMAN. They begin jumping frantically out of the way. CUPHEAD jumps down and shoots the penguins.)
Cuphead-Take that!
(Another roller coaster rolls in, and CUPHEAD has to jump back onto the swings. They continue shooting.)
Cuphead-How long is this guy going to keep it up?
(The carousel appears to be splitting apart.)
Cuphead-Not long, I guess.
(Cut to outside the roller coaster. CUPHEAD is waiting. MUGMAN reappears with a contract and his rubber-ball nose.)
Cuphead-Great job, Team Cup.
Mugman-I didn't think of us as a team. It's really just the two of us.
Cuphead-To-may-to, to-mah-to.
(He gets out the box.)
Cuphead-Put 'er here.
(MUGMAN puts the contract in the box. They begin walking.)
Mugman-That was amazing!
Cuphead-What was?
Mugman-That Super attack! I thought only you could do that!
Cuphead-I guess you're super, too.
Mugman-Super...
(CUPHEAD narrates.)
Cuphead-(voice only) Well, that's eight down, nine to go. I might like fighting as much as the next guy, but not if the next guy was that guy. He turned fighting into play. He turned everything into play, really...I wish I could continue this line of thought, but I need some new weapons.