PG 13+ content ahead :)
"Above all, don't lie to yourself. The one who lies to herself and listens to her own lie comes to a point that she cannot distinguish the truth within her, or around her, and so loses all respect for herself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love."
I can't breathe. I feel pain. I wish I could feel something else additionally. Something like Pity.
I reflexly elevate my head from the filled bath tub, choking out the water that has entered my system. My head feels heftily ponderous. I tightly close my eye lids endeavoring to efface pain. An equal amount of water splashes out of the bathtub as I rise.
I remove my ebony hair back from my face with both of my hands and get out of the bath tub. Water drops rolling down my body, a competition that which one would leave my skin the earliest.
I wear my deep pink bathrobe.
7 pm.
That's what the message said. It's 6:23, I can be all pretty just to be spoiled by him at night.
Him.
The man who has all control over me. My Demon. My Saviour.
I get out of the bath room. Mom and dad haven't come back from the "Engineer's Day Party" a function me and my sister never go to, since 9th grade. I conjecture they'd be tardy like always.
Isabella and I have grown up to peregrinate to those things in which they bore you.
I enter my room, technically it's me and my sister Isabella's room but since she's somewhere not here, I can claim it.
I lock the wooden door of my purple room. The bathrobe automatically falls from my body, like leaves off a tree. I expeditiously wear the red push-up bra he relishes and a matching underwear, which I had already kept on my Queen sized bed afore the shower.
I optically canvass myself in the mirror. I observe discern, a dyad of dark brown eyes staring back at me. A pool of vacuousness with obnubilated sorrows covered with the effulgence of innocence which was gradually evanescing. All thanks to Aiden and yours authentically.
I am beautiful. Everyone says that.
But am I really?
Pink cheeks, which every middle school teacher thought was makeup, delicate nose, arched eyebrows, thick lashes, rosy lips.
What else do you require to be resplendent?
A heart I believe.
A heart that feels. For you. For myself. Something I don't have.
I can't look into my eyes anymore, I conjecture now I know why it's called 'falling in love'. Because you just fall, there is no end to the fall, its forever, unforgettable.
Taking a deep breath I abstracted the sleeves less pink frock with floral prints from the hanger and gracefully enough wear it. It hugs my curves impeccably and gives me a charmingly resplendent look. I wear a heart shaped pendant.
I wish I was genuinely the way I look. Dainty, inculpable and adorable. Tragic. Everything couldn't be the way I wanted it to be.
I dry my hair with the hair dryer and comb them. They fall till my waist. Wearing a pink hair band I apply waterproof eye liner. And check the time on the time exhibiter.
6:51. Good. Aiden must be down by now.
I smile at myself in the mirror, something I infrequently do. I wish I could smile more often.
I wish I could be happy more often when I was not around him.
The ticklish sensation in my veins start, Just by imagining him. I open the locked door and ambulate towards the drawing room, where my sister is studying, her curls falling on her face. I walk slowly to her. I put a lock of her hair abaft her ear, unsuccessfully. She tucks it back conscious of my presence.
"Where are you going?" She asks, looking in my eyes.
"Out With a friend." I lie as I look down pretending to serch for my sandals. I can't meet her eyes when I verbally express erroneous information.
"But where are you going?"
"Mall."
"Okay, enjoy." She resumes studying. I breathe a sigh of mitigation.
She doesn't suspect...as of now.
The elevator door opens and I enter it, tapping my foot I think of him. His eyes. His laugh.
I shake my head endeavoring to dispense phrenic conceptions of the person I crave.
I reach ground floor and Walk confidently towards the exit of my building, I spot a blue car, he brought his Rover today. I look around precautionaryly in case someone in my circle of friends is around. I don't visually perceive a familiar face.
I open the door, the fragrance of cologne with an earthy smell greets me.
His hazel-green eyes look tired, as he gives me a smile. He had a devil- may- care perspective and a stellar smile. His shoulders were impeccably broad, the veins in his hands bulging as His biceps held the steering wheel of the car and the shirt exhibiting the outline of his abs. His Greek god like face looked tense. I wonder what the quandary is.
He looked akin to a male model, though he wasn't one. He could have been if he wanted to, his brown hair integrated to his features. He carried an imperious nose well and his angular cheekbones craved down towards a well defined jaw.
But the most beautiful thing about his face was his deep eyes. Akin to a forest at dawn.
His hazel eyes were like a dense forest, muddy when he was exasperated, green when he relished life and blue when the sunlight osculated his face, they were the most beautiful. They had a vigor of youth and a gleam of delight, doing things he shouldn't made his eyes twinkle. They shone brightly obtaining his achievements, at times they had tales in them. Stories which he genuinely wanted to disclose yet some invisible barrier restrained them inside him.
The barrier I wanted to break.
The barrier so vigorous, I couldn't even shake.
Whatever the quandary is, I hope it goes. I hope I can avail him.
Without a word, he commences driving.
"Where are we going?" I ask.
"Hotel."
Damn, he is really rich.
Silence.
His eyes are focused at the road, and mine at him. Although I dont want to be creepy, it is hard looking elsewhere when the most flawless person is sitting next to me.
He is so mesmerising.
Suddenly I catch his toned arm, he turns sideways to optically canvass me.
"Don't go to Radison," I verbally express with an air of exigency.
"Why you don't like the-" he commenced to verbalize. I put my finger on his lips, his God craved lips, I shake my head.
"I relish everywhere with you," I say lightly, hoping It'd be inaudible to him.
"but my parents have a function there." I express louder.
So we ended up at Hilton Resorts. In room 147. The bed was welcoming. The blanket was white and soft, I was lying on the bed waiting for him to come. Waiting for him to work his magic on my body. In a way we both needed each other. In so many other ways we did not. He locked the door and kept his car keys on the side table adjacent to the TV.
He closed the white and blue lights of the room and the only source of light was, my most preferred, warm light.
I took a deep breath, staring at an empty spot on the celining , conjuring the significance of the next seconds .
"Pills?" He asked in his husky voice, which added to his attractiveness. I nodded not looking at him. I mumbled a soft "hmm.."
The room was 19 degrees Celsius yet it felt physically warm. My heart started to hammer against my chest.
He came close, disregarding the space between us, his intense eyes looking into mine, sliding his finger from my lips to my neck, I felt ticklish. The admirable kind. Then, I swallowed, his finger reached the mid of my breast, my breathing fastened.
My heart was pounding so hard that I concluded it was going to jump off my chest. The warmth between my legs increased as the empty space began to vanish between us.
With both of his hands he caught hold of my waist, and descended closer to me, I closed my eyes as he pulled me closer. His body heat radiating and making my cold feet warm slowly and steadily.
It felt as if we were pieces of torn papers, joining the edges imperfectly yet being together.
His lips clashed with my mouth and his hand reached my inner thigh, I moaned and opened my mouth. I felt hot between my legs. His tounge entered my mouth and my head jerked back. His hand was making circles on my inner thigh. My legs wrapped around his waist. Our lips moulded together and that too with such indescribable delicate perfection. The temperature rose further.
If it weren't gravity holding me down, I visualise I won't be on earth. It is him. It has always been him.
From my lips he sidelined to my face, and he was kissing my jaw. He kissed me all the the way from my jaw to my neck. I gasped.
Oh lord, forgive me for feeling so good.
His lips felt so good, his hands..the estacy I felt could never be obtained by any else.
"Aiden.." I half whispered, half moaned. I gave him more access to my neck by tilting.
The places his hand touched were burning, his fingers were going up and down, making me ache was his touch at the right place.
"Aiden.. it's my first time." I blurted out breathlessly and he kissed the side of my lips lightly.
He stopped, I looked into his eyes, darker now, with the deepest abyss imaginable. I was breathing heavily, he wasn't. He was so calm And composed even after this.
"Are you sure you want this?" He asked, withdrawing. He got up from the bed, but I caught his hand. And made his fall near me on the soft mattress.
"I have never wanted anything more." The heat between my legs increased. And I pulled him in for a kiss, he kissed me back. Biting and teasing, but his body was tense.
"It's not your first time?" I asked, withdrawing from the kiss.
"No, I-" he said awkwardly.
His eyes....asked for permission and I gave him the consent he needed by pushing him off me and falling on his chest. I grabbed the collars of his shirt pulling him closer and kissed him. My soft rose like lips enveloped his velvet ones. Filling the gaps quickly his hands were cupping my breasts with no respect to my bra and my breath became uneven. I smiled kissing him.
I wish he did too, but he did not.
I can take away his memories for some time.