June 1, 2018
Eliska tucked another item into the shopping basket in the crook of Jonah's arm, shoving him lightly when he pretended not to see her and moved away.
"Okay," she said, glancing over what they were going to buy. Her mom had sent them to the store to get food for dinner. "I think that's it."
She began to turn, but then stopped abruptly.
"Wait, one more thing." And then she was walking down the aisles again.
"I feel like we've been in here for hours," Jonah commented. The expression on her face when she glanced at him made him laugh.
They entered the frozen section.
"Ever had coffee ice cream?" she asked him. He shook his head. "Well you haven't lived yet."
She grabbed two pints and set them among the other items they were purchasing.
"Are you sure you don't want me to hold the basket?"
"Yes, El," he assured her again—he had already said it several times since they got there. "One, it's not very heavy. Two, you've got to let me be a gentleman somehow."
She turned away, but not before he caught the small smile on her face.
***
Jonah looked to his right to see Eliska joining his side on the back porch. She had just finished cleaning up the dinner dishes with her mom, who had refused his offer to aid.
She leaned against the railing of the deck like he was, sending him the small half-smile he adored.
Neither said anything as they watched the sun begin its descent below the trees in the distance. The scene reminded him of two nights before, when they sat side by side in the woods, surrounded by trees and chilly air and darkness.
The conversation they had that night wasn't spoken of after that, and surprisingly neither felt awkward because of it. It didn't put a rift between them, but it certainly did cause him to stare at her a little longer when she wasn't looking. He was still concerned by the deeper meaning of what she had spoken aloud and cared about her well-being more than he thought she was aware of.
"What time do you leave tonight?" she asked, breaking the peaceful quiet.
"Plane leaves at ten-thirty, so the car will come here to pick me up at about nine."
"I can drive you to the airport, you know," she said, looking at her hands.
"I know, but for your safety, I don't want you to be seen. Otherwise, I'd be all for it."
She let out a light laugh. "Limelights are everywhere."
"They are," he agreed.
He felt her eyes on his face and turned to her.
"I like it better when you're here," she said. He nodded.
"Yeah, Indiana isn't too bad."
She swatted at his arm.
"You know what I meant."
"Yes, I know what you meant, dork. I like being with you too."
She successfully kept eye contact for a few more seconds before turning to the sunset again.
It was in that moment that he realized what Esther had said to him days before was true: he was in love with Eliska McNeel.
In that moment she hadn't done anything special, it wasn't anything she said or did, she was just there, in front of him, and that was more than enough.
"El."
"Hmm?" she hummed in response.
"I've been thinking about what you said the other night. About... needing to have something in your past or... something you're dealing with in order for you to need someone to be there for you and that person to make sure you're alright in return."
He paused, watching as she nodded, just slightly.
"Why did you say that?" he asked gently.
She didn't say anything for a long time. The topic was the only time he'd ever seen her be entirely vulnerable in front of him, so he approached the subject with was much caution as he could.
"I mean... that's how modern society runs. Nearly every book I've ever read, the girl's trying to overcome a trial or hardship and then the guy comes in and helps her get through everything, through all of the breakdowns and anger spells or whatever the case may be. And sometimes it's the guy and the girl's there for him. And sometimes it's both of them, and they're constantly falling over each other for comfort and support and- oh my word, it's everywhere."
She shook her head, as if at a loss for words. He thought for a moment.
"You don't have to prove yourself to be loved, El."
She propped her elbows up on the deck railing, resting her forehead on her folded hands. He could tell her thoughts were relentless, but she wasn't speaking up.
"You can say what you're thinking," he said softly.
"I don't want to be dramatic, Jo," she replied.
"You're not. We're just talking."
Another spell of silence passed.
"My life is simple. Reading, and airports, and hotel rooms, and online schooling. That's all I do. Some may look at that and think what a life, but I feel—I can't relate to anyone. I hold no valid reason to be cared for by someone."
All Jonah could manage to do was stare at her, dumbfounded by her words. Her tone was lighter when she spoke that time, as if she had already given up on the whole topic. It made his heart feel heavy in his chest.
She felt like she didn't deserve to be loved? He didn't understand why she thought that. He didn't understand how every other guy she had ever met hadn't fallen in love with her. He didn't know how she had been so many places and was still single, still feeling like she didn't deserve to be loved.
"I don't know what you see when you look at yourself, but I know it's not what I see," he finally said.
She looked to her left, finally meeting his eyes. Somehow, her silence was enough to convince him to say what he would later regret if he didn't.
"Look, I'm not going to keep pretending like I don't feel anything for you, El."
Her heart felt as if it was in her throat. After three months of the unknown, there was his simple confession, laid out in front of her. He felt the same way. She was too numb to open her mouth or look away from him.
"You don't have to say anything," he added.
She took a shuddery deep breath and finally forced herself to look at something other than him.
"Just—uh—give me a second," she got out.
And for some reason, that made him laugh. The sound made her relax, and just like that, the tension between them was gone.
She didn't have to impress him. She didn't have to have an event-ridden past behind her to make him stay. She didn't have to be any more than an eighteen year old from Indiana.
She looked at him again, shaking her head.
"You keep surprising me, Jonah Marais."
That made him smile.
Her mind was moving faster than she could keep up and she didn't know how to get out what she needed to say, but she went for it anyway.
"And I... feel the same way."
His grin grew. For the first time, he saw a faint blush grow on her cheeks in the last light of evening.
He put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer. She moved without reluctance, settling into his chest.
"All because you called me basic in a coffee shop in Chicago."
He knew for a fact that that was the best mistake he had ever made.
***
Jonah moved his suitcase to the front door, having brought it to the McNeel's house when he checked out of his hotel that morning.
He turned to Eliska, pulling her into a hug. He had always been a hugger, and now he wasn't hesitant to embrace her. She wrapped one arm around his shoulders and the other went to the back of his neck.
"I'm going to miss you," he told her. She responded in the same way to him.
"My car's here."
She made a noise of resentment, but pulled away from him anyway. He didn't let her go completely until he had pressed a kiss to her temple. She was glad he turned away to pick up his luggage because she was left flustered.
"Please be safe at the airport and on the way back home when you get to L.A.," she said, opening the door for him.
"I will. And don't get all soft on me, stop worryin'."
For once, she didn't shoot him one of her classic annoyed expressions. He smiled.
"Goodbye, El."
"Bye, Jo."
She stood on the front steps as he walked down to the car, ducked his head under the roof and waved to her once more.
The car retreated down the driveway before turning onto the main road, leaving her alone in her quiet world with the smallest of smiles on her face.